These Little Moments
Life is all about the little things. People are always looking for the grand gestures that they stop paying attention to things that really do matter.
I heard that the secret long-lasting relationships is quite simple. It is never forgetting to consistently do the small things. Things that are quite mundane that it is easy to not notice them, but when one stops doing it you will suddenly notice all the difference.
Small things have big effects on relationships
If you are the one being pursued, you will notice that at the start of relationship, the pursuer will put their best foot forward. They will be consistent in reminding you how much you mean to them and they will never tire of hearing the same story that you tell over and over again.
One common thing that I have heard as reasons for break-ups is that "it is not the same as before". While change is constant and expected, the one being pursued often notice when the pursuer stopped doing all the little things that caught their attention early on in the relationship.
What was once an understanding partner suddenly stopped listening to the stories about your day. The little details that they used to pay attention to are now the things that they keep forgetting. What used to be a part of the routine suddenly stopped being done.
This often negative affects the relationship since they are the foundation in which the connection was built upon. Such simple things yet most of the time, their disappearance sour what was once a sweet and loving relationship.
Pay attention to small things
This is one thing that my partner and I agreed upon the moment we decided that we wanted to be together. Even though we have busy lives, we do our best to be consistent or as consistent as we could be.
Sometimes, we might have misunderstandings but with open communication we always manage to sort it out. However, that is not the reason why we have managed to stay together despite not being able to see each other much.
The reason is that we never fail to pay attention to the small things. Or if we notice that we are not doing it as much, we talk about it.
The small things I am talking about are the things that we do during the time when we are only testing the waters.
We say "Good Morning" and "Good Night"
This is really easy to do but sometimes, after a long time of doing it people tend to not see it as an important thing anymore. We are not too demanding about this like we do not have to message each other first thing in the morning or sleep immediately after saying good night. Just the act of greeting each other is special since we are basically telling each other that "hey, I thought about you".
This also includes asking if we already ate or reminding each other to eat. I really appreciate that we do this since even if we are busy, we know that we still care for each other.
I remember that there were times when our daily conversations are just composed of these greetings and questions about eating but we get through them together. This little thing really helped us in being reminded that we still care, it is just that we are busy with other priorities.
We are curious about each other's day
Even when we may have a misunderstanding, we still want to know about how the day went for each other. "How's your day?" is the conversation starter for us to know that we are done with our obligations for the day.
We still ask this to each other even though most of the time it is the same old routine since not much is happening due to the pandemic.
We enjoy having cheesy conversations
Just last night, we were on a video call and my partner keeps saying cheesy words and I can not help but feel kilig. Even after all this time, he still knows how to make me smile no matter how down I am.
My love language is sending memes that remind me of him or just cheesy memes in general. It is funny since I am a write but sometimes I find myself unable to put my feelings into words. Good thing that the internet has memes for all kinds of things.
We listen to each other
This is probably a small and big thing. Small since it is not that noticeable at first. Big because it plays a significant part in relationships.
Anyway, this is something that we still do despite the times when we have different opinions. This usually happens in conversations related to food. I think he has a more expensive taste in food that I do.
It is not a problem though since we know how to agree to disagree. We have conversations and listen to each other's opinion without feeling the need to convince each other about it. If we change our minds about something, that's nice but if not then, that is fine at all.
Although, between the two of us I am usually the one who change my mind about something. Since once I get an interest in something, I pursue that line of thought until I either become more convinced of my original stance or see something that convinces me otherwise. I am not saying he can not change his opinions, I am just saying that more often that not, he is the one who is right haha.
We make time for each other no matter how busy we are
This is probably something that I will forever be grateful of. I used to be so insecure that when he does not reply immediately, I would overthink a lot and feel so down until he replies again.
But since we finally established a routine, I find myself dedicating more time to my own improvement instead of just waiting for him to finish doing all his things.
We give each other space
Last but definitely not the least is that we give each other space. We value each other's need for alone time which really helped us keep a healthy relationship. We understand that we have priorities outside of the relationship so we respect that there will be times when we have to have a dedicated alone time.
Most times, this will be after saying good night with each other. It is unspoken that even if we are still not asleep, it is okay since it might be our time to recharge ourselves alone. He does not get mad if I say good night and then he saw me sharing a meme on Facebook.
We let each other have the space we need to be ourselves, and that really helped in still feeling like ourselves outside the relationship. We thrive individually, and when we are together we give each other the safe haven we need.
Closing words
I want to share this because this month just really feels like love is in the air. Also, I have been seeing some posts that really makes me see how few people pay attention to little things and just want the grander and loud gestures of love/ public display of affection.
Moreover, I just really feel happy sometimes that I want to try and capture the moment in writing.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
Small things really matters...that's where bigger things start. No matter how repetitive when these things suddenly stop, you will surely miss them. you will realize how much these things mean to you.