The Hardest Goodbye
The hardest goodbye is when you know you will never get to say "Hello" again.
January 29, 2022
This day was my aunt's last day of wake. I invited my friend who is close to my aunt's family to go there since I was not able to visit yet because of my work's schedule-- she agreed.
We arrived at the wake 49 minutes past 8 in the evening. Since it is the last day, there were a lot of people who were there. All of them were fully vaccinated and we followed all safety protocols. We were attended immediately by my family but I insisted that we are fine and need not to worry about us, so that they can focus on other guests.
Not long after, my cousin approached us and invited us to join them. It's been a long time since we last talked to his friend, so we did a lot of catching up. My cousin brought out the cards for us to have something to do. We played "In Between", a card game wherein you have to bet if the third card you will draw was in between the 2 cards you're holding. I don't play card games so I asked them to teach us the rules. It was easy and we were just doing it so that we won't feel sleepy.
As time passes by us playing, I thought I have the beginner's luck because I'm good at guessing and estimating the next card. But as soon as one of the players started to lose PHP 500, the game started to heat up and became more exciting. In the beginning the bet started at PHP 2, then 5, 10 until it reached 100. I was so tensed at the time but still joined them. Yes, I was pushing my luck too much.
At PHP 1050 bet money on the table, my cousin holds 2 Jack cards. Confidently, he bets "all in". Meaning he will get all PHP 1050 if he guesses correctly or he will have to pay the amount if he lose. We thought he will get it since he has a good card and there were few cards left to draw, but to everybody's surprise, he lost the bet. I saw my cousin's blood drained. Haha! Well, I don't win that round but my cousin really gave us a good laugh there.
We let my cousin sleep since it will be my aunt's funeral the next day. His friends also made their way to their home but one of his friend stayed to accompany us. We just played all through out the night and gulp at least 3 glass of coffee to keep us awake.
January 30, 2022
We finally rest my aunt's remain at a columbarium nearest to their house, her new home.
Last night's laugh became a morning's cry. I tried not to cry because I want to support my mom. We managed to bid farewell to my aunt. It was still surreal but we have to accept now that she no longer belongs in the land of mortals and she was one of the angels who lived eternally in the arms of God.
As for Filipino's superstition, after the funeral, you can't go home unless you have done "Pagpag" -- it is an act where in you have to stopped by some place before going home so that spirits will not followed you at home.
We stopped by at the Riverbanks to supposedly buy food. Since I was out overnight, I missed my Moshi badly. So when I get home I made sure to surprise her with some doughnuts. But, sales seems to not leave me, we saw the 99 Peso store at sale for PHP 29 all items and took the opportunity to buy something. When we got home, I was asleep all day to regain my strength.
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Today was my grandfather's burial, too.