Alright, FUD or Fears, Uncertainty and Doubt is just everywhere and can be seen in any situation. Though it was originally created in terms in Crypto Space still, it can apply in our everyday's life because we feel it to when we're in panic. We feel fears, that's why we are doubting ourself, we are uncertain about things and the outcome? Nah-uhh, it gets ugly. It's just base on experience.
If in crypto space, your funds is at stake because of FUDs. In College Life, it was the grade. Though losing money is much hard - so is our grade. You can get a low grade if that happens, or worst you can get a big and loud red FAILED! I have lot of doubts with myself as a student before. What added more to it is this Nasal Polyp I had in my nose.
That when I talk you can say that I have a big booger on my nose affecting the sound of my voice and the clarity of the words that I am spitting. And because of that my confidence was dump into zero level that everytime that we have a reporting I feel Fear, Doubt like what if? Will they understand what I'm saying, Uncertainty about my way of explaining things and all, ackk.
Argh, I really hate all about reporting and explaining what we learn in a certain topic. To be specific I hate speaking in a crowded place, even if I have to do it in front of my classmates. Oh wait, I just remember - it's in our Literature subject. That Professor of ours really love to make sure that we learn a lot from his subject. That everytime that we have a reporting he will make those listener asked a questions to the reporter.
Aside from I hate reporting I also hate being asked or questioned coz even if I'm ready if my fears and doubt act up again, I won't be able to answer all of their questions. I might stammer and just forget all of what I reported or of what I learn in front of them. I don't know, my confidence is really affected. That's where I will question myself if can I really do it? Can I satisfy them? Argh lots of uncertainties.
But I don't know if luck was on my side that time. That when it's my turn to report, our Professor was out coz he has to attend somewhere. But off course he still gave us an activity and that includes the reporting which I am very thankful coz he doesn't need to postpone it just because he can't attend to his subject. So, it's my turn to report.
This happened back in my College days, it's just a minor subject but I feel like it is one of our major because of the pressure. But anyway, so my time arrive. I ready my laptop and the slide that I have to present. But you know while I'm doing a prep, I again feel that Fears and Doubt. I am doubting myself again. My mind is not cooperating. In my mind I was doing a you know, some practicing.
But I keep on forgetting the lines that I have to say. I am sweating too much specially my underarms. My hand is so cold and also sweating. But what frightened me the most was the thought that I might embarrass if I didn't deliver my topic to them clearly. I hate it huehue. I really hate it because it gives me the feeling that I will fail that time even if I prefer just a little.
Or they might find fault to the way I explain it. Even if I'm doing it in front of my classmates, still the fears, doubt and uncertainty is still there. It's much worst, even if crush was not there just the thought that I have to speak in front of everybody give me so much anxiety. I can't think right that I just want to run and just you know or just disappear.
Not just that, you know what happened when I'm in that state? I speak faster than the normal speed. Everyone can't understand what I'm saying. That's why I have to repeat it. My voice is also low that's what added more. And when it's asking time, I almost kill some of my classmates just by my stare for asking a lot of questions.
I just want to get over with it and sit on my chair but those people arghh feel like they are just doing it on purpose. I hate them. But well, I can't blame them coz our Prof asked them to ask a question. Even if our professor is not present, he gave a task to one of my classmate to watch the reporter and the others and report it directly to him.
But I'm still okay with them doing it, actually it's all better if they are the one who'll ask me a question than our Professor who will test your mind, body and soul. I mean, if he didn't like my answer to their question then that's another minus for me. I love my College days and miss it sometimes but, what I don't miss is those time that I feel Fears, Doubt and Uncertainty.
And that only happens when I'm in front of everybody. I feel like I'm some kind of strange species who grown two balls in the forehead being examined by those watcher - nyayy it's not so cute. I sound so over reacting in here but seriously, the feeling is just.... It was mixed. Like my fears was stronger than my doubt for myself but actually it was my doubt who was bigger. It's messy.
Anyways, I get the idea of writing this to @Peter-Molnar article which he publish just 2 days ago: Dealing With FUD: Fear, Uncertainty And Doubt. I just remember my College Life after reading it especially his title, hihi. You can check it if you want.
By the way thank you so very much for @BSzandra for the renewal of Sponsorship 💙🌾🤩😻.
Lead Image from Unsplash
September 23, 2021