It Depends On You.
Everything in life depends on you or your kind of person. There is no "one size fits all" because most things are different for everyone. This is why it aches me to see most people try to live their lives based on the dictates of social media. Social media is not real life because there are so many things they won't show you. Social media is controlling because you can only see an aspect of things people want to show you.
A lot of things depends on us - how we see things; perspective and who we are as well. What works for me might not necessarily work for you because we were wired differently. What I can do and go Scott free with, you might not get so lucky if you attempt it. The best we can do is to learn from each other and use that information to make a better decision for ourselves.
I've had people criticize online dating and I've had a lot of people in favour of that argument. Some people feel a bit adventurous while some are a bit shy just as we have those who are a bit neutral. I am always disgusted when someone tells me something doesn't work for them so they generalize it. It doesn't work for you because of who you are, it doesn't mean it won't work for others.
It's okay to share your relationship experience with others but never force them to stop it just because it didn't work out for you. It depends on you and also the person you are rolling with. We have adults in diapers who make the online experience difficult for others but that doesn't mean everyone is like that. Some would make it the best experience for you and things have worked out pretty well for them afterwards. I understand the fear because you really don't know that person up close and you only know as much as the person is willing to show because there are some things you would know when you are up close with the person but isn't every relationship about risks and fears and yet we still forge ahead?
It doesn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others but there is wisdom in understanding what works for you and seeking what might work for you. Some tried a particular line of business and it didn't quite work out as they hoped. Does that mean they should generalize that the business can never be profitable when other factors like strategy, location, customers and advertisement are in place and good determining factors? There are a lot of things that can make things work or not work and because we can't find ours doesn't mean others won't find theirs especially knowing that we have different exposure in life and we all know in parts.
I've also had people speak so much against distance relationships but for someone who is an indoor person like me, I think I sometimes prefer this while growing up. I've always had distant relationships anyway and I've been perfectly fine with it until I was off the market 😂😂🤣😂😂🤣. It's about who you are and striking that balance.
Some cannot handle long-distance relationships and that's fine. It doesn't make them terrible or more emotional but it only shows they already understand what works for them and they don't need to try it any other way. For some, their love language is the sense of touch and until they are close up with their partner, they can't feel that joy of being in a relationship and that's fine.
Most people try to copy other people's strategies without knowing what works for them. Someone who is fine with a long-distance relationship with his partner, you decided to copy them and give your own partner space all because it was working fine with your friend. I don't need to be told that this person would have it tougher than those who already understood their kind of person.
The problem most people face in their relationships can be traced to unnecessary competitiveness, lack of basic understanding of self and unhealthy comparisons. When we understand that what works for others might not necessarily work for us, it helps us to find out what works for us and then stick with it.
It depends on you and not what others are doing with their lives. There would always be people giving unsolicited advice because they want you to understand that they have things figured out but no one truly has it all figured out because we are only speaking based on our experiences. Learn from everyone but understand your kind of person which would help you make informed decisions on things that matters to you.
If a long-distance relationship works for you and you have an understanding partner, by all means, stick with it. Don't put unnecessary pressure on your spouse or yourself. If online dating is something you want to try out, by all means, try it out but always do things with your head and heart not just your heart before you will be a victim as with the movie "Tinder Swindler."
Thank you for your time.
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This reminds me of the lizard and rat analogy. The story goes thus : both of them jump into the water. Few minutes after they came out. The lizard dried up and was back to normal . But the rat continued to shiver for a long time as he almost lost his life ....... Because mr A is doing it does not mean mr B should go and do it also especially when it's wrong