It Depends On You.

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2 years ago

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Everything in life depends on you or your kind of person. There is no "one size fits all" because most things are different for everyone. This is why it aches me to see most people try to live their lives based on the dictates of social media. Social media is not real life because there are so many things they won't show you. Social media is controlling because you can only see an aspect of things people want to show you.

A lot of things depends on us - how we see things; perspective and who we are as well. What works for me might not necessarily work for you because we were wired differently. What I can do and go Scott free with, you might not get so lucky if you attempt it. The best we can do is to learn from each other and use that information to make a better decision for ourselves.

I've had people criticize online dating and I've had a lot of people in favour of that argument. Some people feel a bit adventurous while some are a bit shy just as we have those who are a bit neutral. I am always disgusted when someone tells me something doesn't work for them so they generalize it. It doesn't work for you because of who you are, it doesn't mean it won't work for others.

It's okay to share your relationship experience with others but never force them to stop it just because it didn't work out for you. It depends on you and also the person you are rolling with. We have adults in diapers who make the online experience difficult for others but that doesn't mean everyone is like that. Some would make it the best experience for you and things have worked out pretty well for them afterwards. I understand the fear because you really don't know that person up close and you only know as much as the person is willing to show because there are some things you would know when you are up close with the person but isn't every relationship about risks and fears and yet we still forge ahead?

It doesn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others but there is wisdom in understanding what works for you and seeking what might work for you. Some tried a particular line of business and it didn't quite work out as they hoped. Does that mean they should generalize that the business can never be profitable when other factors like strategy, location, customers and advertisement are in place and good determining factors? There are a lot of things that can make things work or not work and because we can't find ours doesn't mean others won't find theirs especially knowing that we have different exposure in life and we all know in parts.

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I've also had people speak so much against distance relationships but for someone who is an indoor person like me, I think I sometimes prefer this while growing up. I've always had distant relationships anyway and I've been perfectly fine with it until I was off the market πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£. It's about who you are and striking that balance.

Some cannot handle long-distance relationships and that's fine. It doesn't make them terrible or more emotional but it only shows they already understand what works for them and they don't need to try it any other way. For some, their love language is the sense of touch and until they are close up with their partner, they can't feel that joy of being in a relationship and that's fine.

Most people try to copy other people's strategies without knowing what works for them. Someone who is fine with a long-distance relationship with his partner, you decided to copy them and give your own partner space all because it was working fine with your friend. I don't need to be told that this person would have it tougher than those who already understood their kind of person.

The problem most people face in their relationships can be traced to unnecessary competitiveness, lack of basic understanding of self and unhealthy comparisons. When we understand that what works for others might not necessarily work for us, it helps us to find out what works for us and then stick with it.

It depends on you and not what others are doing with their lives. There would always be people giving unsolicited advice because they want you to understand that they have things figured out but no one truly has it all figured out because we are only speaking based on our experiences. Learn from everyone but understand your kind of person which would help you make informed decisions on things that matters to you.

If a long-distance relationship works for you and you have an understanding partner, by all means, stick with it. Don't put unnecessary pressure on your spouse or yourself. If online dating is something you want to try out, by all means, try it out but always do things with your head and heart not just your heart before you will be a victim as with the movie "Tinder Swindler."

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

Comments

This reminds me of the lizard and rat analogy. The story goes thus : both of them jump into the water. Few minutes after they came out. The lizard dried up and was back to normal . But the rat continued to shiver for a long time as he almost lost his life ....... Because mr A is doing it does not mean mr B should go and do it also especially when it's wrong

$ 0.03
2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love this analogy. Spot on.

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2 years ago

Yes. Everyone is unique. Our characters, our patience and our attitude are totally different from each other so there is no reason for us to force everyone that thungs won't work and are impossible just becauss it never worked on us. We can only share our experiences but the final decision is still on the other person.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

The final decision indeed rests with us.

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2 years ago

Bang on! 🀣 We are all unique and with different perspectives in our lives. Your cup of tea isn't mine and maybe what you hate the most is what I love. So we have to respect everyone including yourself.

Just to share, at work you know I sell rugs. And most of the patterns are lovely and some are making me tell myself, "it's awful looking no one will buy that." But there is. Some people actually love it! And I always wonder to myself why. And reminded me we all have our own tastes and likes. My eyes see differently and so are they. And so are you.

Another great article, my dear!

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Hahahaa I can relate. There are some things that look horrible to my eyes and that's what some people would be drooling over. Just as you have said, momma, we all have different taste and visions. We are all different.

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2 years ago

Well said dear. Not everything fits to everyone. We need to see it from different angle. Like this one may have different thinking too about us. We have to accept it.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

We have to accept other people's differences and understand ours too.

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2 years ago

This is why I never judge anybody on the choices they make, as long as it isn't harming other people. The fact that we don't agree with what someone is doing with his/her life doesn't mean we get to criticize and judge them, everybody have the way want to live their life and the best thing you can do for someone who you feel is doing it wrongly is to advise them, it's their choise to take your advice or leave it

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly. There are some who criticize the ways of others because they didn't do things their way.

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2 years ago

Yeah it depends on me, i have had life experiences, same with every other person. And our way of thinking is so different and if i sensed that the advice you are giving to me which actually worked for you will never in any way work for me, i will be silent the whole time, no argument of any kind so that peace will abound. Same way you discovered what worked for you, i will strive also to discover mine.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Absolutely...we are on the path to self discovery while learning from others too.

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2 years ago

I am agree but one thing important that sometimes your happiness and your wishes desire depend on your mood if you have good more than you take good decision and good ideas and happiness

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2 years ago

We are all different and we shouldn't do things coz other are doing it, what are works for them might not work for us.. Lol as for me I can't dare to do a long distance relationship coz I know my heart wouldn't allow

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly...you already know what works for you.

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2 years ago

Yes it does depends on individual. Even identical twins still have different mindset. The point is to be one's self.

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2 years ago

Be yourself... that is the important thing.

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2 years ago

It's like our life, our choice. We should be the protagonist of our own story. Anyway, LDR works if both had trust.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly, it works when they both have trust and we should be the one in charge of our story.

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2 years ago

A hundred percent agree to this, it is all up to us. We shouldn't compete or compare ourselves to others, we have our own beliefs and own opinions, people have different perspectives in life and it is up to them what would they choose, believe, and do.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It is indeed up to them what they would love to choose. Absolutely.

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2 years ago

Awwn, this is awesome, I agree with you, I want to pick out that relationship part, there was a time I love long distance relationship then and it worked out for me then but not anymore, right now I know I don't like long distance anymore so I won't bother involving myself in it.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It's good that you already understand what doesn't work for you and that makes it easier.

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2 years ago

Yes my friend, I agree, everything depends upon on us, just like what you mention. My partner and I was been in 4 year's LDR and ended up being together and now working together to have a good relationship, some of my friends relationship didn't work in LDR as one of them cannot stand with that kind of situation. Our fate and destiny cannot be copied by any one.

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2 years ago

I absolutely love this, my friend. Our fate cannot be copied.

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2 years ago

Everyone's path in life is different in any form, so the way to make us successful doesn't have to follow other people's ways. success in your way is not necessarily successful for others, that's why be yourself.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Fantastic...just be yourself.

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2 years ago

Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future.

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2 years ago

I think you mixed up the comment for this post with this.

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2 years ago

Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.

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2 years ago

I can't relate this comment to what the post is seeking to address. Maybe you should try and read it.

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2 years ago

We are all different so everyone should do things based on his personal wish and not what other people say.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly my point. Thank you.

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2 years ago

To conclude that Olasquare we must not compare our achievement to others. It doesn't mean it doesn't work to us, it won't also work to others. Individual have different perspective and capability. If you find it isn't fit for then find out another until got the best for you.☺️

$ 0.03
2 years ago

We need to keep seeking out what works for us. That's right.

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2 years ago

Exactly we are different individuals with different perspective in life. We should focus on our strenght rather than trying to copy in others eventhough you are not good at it.

I have an office mate before that kept on bugging me to leave my bf as long distance relationship doesn't work. He kept on insisting that my bf will only cheat on me. Based on what he observed on the people he knows. I told him its not about a distance, if your partner will cheat. He was streotyping, after a few months he found out his wife was cheating on him 😬.

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2 years ago

Ouch. That must be painful for him. It is never about the distance but about the person and I agree with that.

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2 years ago

Everything we want to do depends on us . It depends on how we can achieve it and how we can work towards on achieving them it depends on our capability in achieving a goals

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Our lives, our rules.

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2 years ago

Most times, I find it difficult to give my friend relationship advise, cause that it didn't work that way for me doesn't mean it won't work for her. Most times, I don't 😌

Everyone gats know what works for them 😌😌

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2 years ago

Know what works for you and that's right. I love that.

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2 years ago

Agreed! We differ in beliefs and how we do things. One is not the same as the other. This is the part where respect should be applied. We have to accept that not everyone will agree on our perspective ~Manju

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2 years ago

That's the truth, my friend and not everyone would get the same result that we get or didn't get.

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2 years ago

If all could understand themselves and know what they want, I believe they won't be taking things too hard on themselves.

Take, for instance, comparing yourself with what you see online and deep within you, who know you cannot do it, but we just want to follow the league, not knowing that we are creating more problems for ourselves.

We can never be the same thing, if something works out fine for other people and it does not work out for me, I don't have to sweat it, just have to do what I know I can do, I know myself better than anyone else. That does mean I failed but only trying to avoid creating more problems for myself...

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly...what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others and because it didn't work for others didn't mean it would be a general thing.

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2 years ago

Perfectly said!!we shouldn't try to copy others and do whatever they did,what worked for them might not actually work out for us,we just need to follow our path and don't be competitive.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That's right, Vic.

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2 years ago

Today we are full of people who judge everything through social networks as if there were a pattern of what should be and what should not. Everyone should be as they want as long as they don't hurt anyone! I liked.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Absolutely...and that's exactly the point.

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2 years ago