Think before you act
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju
"Look before you leap!" This expression suggests that you should consider, pay attention, and keep your wits about you before you make a move. It is critical to plan and decide what to do next to avoid an unfavorable outcome.
"Every action we take should be a decision."
However, some actions are carried out without conscious thought, full intention, foresight, or consideration of potential negative consequences.
When you're angry, you may act without thinking, without even stopping to consider it. But, most of the time, these activities have many consequences...
Last night, something happened between a coursemate and I.
He insulted me, even though he was actually catching cruise. I reacted with some emojis. Then he started calling me names. I knew he was playing, but I did not like what he was doing. I reacted wrongly. It didn't go well. We ended up exchanging words.
I was angry, and by the time I decided to just go to bed, I realized what we had done. But till now, it's irreversible.
I wish I had paused when I realised I was angry.
It pays to pause.
I understand that we won't get it right every time and that making mistakes is a part of our learning and growth. Still, suppose we PAUSE before acting, making sure our actions have a purpose, are suitable, comprehended, contribute to success, and echo guiding principles. In that case, we will be more intentional in our decisions and thus avoid making mistakes most of the time.
Thinking before acting is an excellent habit to cultivate to prevent difficulties in your life, whether in your relationships, profession, or elsewhere.
We can be more tactful and learn how to balance negativity with something positive if we think about it before acting.
Walk away if you're feeling agitated. It's unpreferable to react angrily and subsequently regret it.
I wouldn't have said anything I shouldn't have said if I had just gone offline when it started last night and I realised I was upset.
Thanks for reading.
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Ask and receive
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju.
It’s been a while and I want to start by apologizing for my inconsistency. I’ve been busy.
So Happy Sunday family, and please do well to go to church.
John 16: 24 Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.
To ask means to request or desire to have something in a polite or normal way.
At different points of our lives, we desire to have something, we want something and then we ask or make requests. Concomitantly, it’s everyone’s desire to receive an answer to his requests.
But there are disappointments. In fact, man is bound to disappoint and be disappointed. Man can promise to grant you a request and fail. There’s no one here who hasn’t disappointed anyone or been disappointed.
If a child asks his father for something but then his father fails to grant the child the request even though he wishes the child will be sad and disappointed. The only one that never fails is God. The supernatural being who you can ask for anything at any time and he will grant your request especially if it is according to His will.
And guess what; In His word, Christ already urged us to ask, to ask him for anything; backing with His promise that our requests will be granted.
Matthew 7:7 “ Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”
A.S.K means Ask, Seek and Knock at Heaven’s gate.
All we just need to do is to pray with faith and wait patiently for His answers which always come.
There is power in the name of Jesus
The name of Jesus moves God to our prayers.
Philippians 2: 9 – 11 “ Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”.
We have another condition to the promise of “ask and receive” in John 14:14, “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” Here, Jesus does not promise His disciples anything and everything they want; rather, He instructs them to ask “in my name.”
And when we ask, he will surely do. It’s already written down, in God’s word; John 14:13-14
A song lyric goes thus;
You seem discouraged, clouds around you
Your life full of problems don't know what to do
Racing troubled thoughts trying to work things out
Instead of turning to the One who loves you
He can work it out
Seems at the time a hard place to be
No one around you, who cares how you feel
Fearful and alone, your spirit in despair
Call to the one who's near you, he'll always lend an ear
God answers prayer
Yes, yes, yes he does
God answers prayer
I know, I know, he will…
Today is Sunday. Go to church and talk to God out of a sincere heart, he will answer.
It seem not to be ok sometimes
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju ✍️✍️✍️
Nightbirde is dead 😭😭😭
I'm sad.
Since yesterday, I've been feeling the heat of her department.
I loved her so much 😢
Her smile, strength and positively. Everything...
Her radiance.
But now, she's gone.
Jane Marczewski is really gone.
She died at 31. She died on Saturday, February 19 and I only got to know yesterday which was her burial.
You all would be wondering who Jane Marczewski, Nightbirde is...
I once wrote an article titled "it's okay".
I wrote a song lyrics and if you remember, I mentioned that she sang the song it's okay, on America got talent.
Nightbirde battled with cancer for about four years. In 2017, she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy before being declared cancer-free in July 2018.
The cancer returned in 2019 and she was given a 2% survival rate and just three to six months to live as it had spread to her liver lungs and spine. However, she heroically beat it again.
During the period she had just 2% chances of survival was when she came on AGT to sing 'it's okay'.
I mean looking at her sing that song, the way she smiled and laughed, you'll never imagine she was going through hell. You'll never reason it that she was dieing.
I fell in love with her.
I fell in love with her courage.
I fell in love with her personality.
She said something that I still quote any day, anytime.
"You don't have to wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy". ~~nightbirde.
She said she had just 2% chances of survival, but 2% is not 0%.😭😭
That statement gave me goosebumps.
Who the hell says that with a smile?? 😭😭
Who is that strong and brave? 😢.
Jane looked at death in the face and smiled at it.
In 2021, the cancer came back again and she was forced to withdraw from America’s Got Talent due to her deteriorating health.
Writing on Instagram:
“My health has taken a turn for the worse and the fight with cancer is demanding all of my energy and attention. I am sad to announce that I won’t be able to continue forward on this season of AGT.”
This young lady had dreams too, but she had to leave at age 31.
It could happen to anyone 😢😭.
But then, I always still say she didn't deserve how life treated her. Life could be cruel and unfair sometimes.
I pray God protects us 😢💔.
Now I want to shout this isn't okay!
It's not fair!
Why would this happen?
But what can I do..?
Jane already said 'it's okay'.
Rest in peace Nightbirde.
We love you 💔💔.
I pray God consoles her parents, family and close friends 😩
Thanks for reading 🙏
Discrimination
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa OLanrewaju
Ever heard of the Jim Crow laws?
Ever heard of white supremacy?
Ever heard of race war?
In the 17th century, there was a racial war between whites and African Americans.
I'm sure a very high percentage of you all would have in one time, or the other heard or come across history regarding racial racism in America. "Jim Crow was in America".
Discrimination is defined as the practice of establishing unwarranted disparities between individuals based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are thought to belong. Discrimination can occur based on race, gender, age, religion, colour, or sexual orientation, among other factors.
People discriminate over a whole lot of things. And as civilized as the world is becoming, people still discriminate.
In the 18th century, there began a racial crisis in America. The Jim Crow laws were initially enacted in 1876. They sought to segregate blacks from whites completely. There were separate bathrooms for blacks and whites. They had no choice but to rely on several water fountains. They were forced to ride at the back of buses. Over time, Jim Crow laws became increasingly harsh.
Blacks were not allowed to vote, as the "literate law" had been enacted at that time. This law was on the basis that only literates are allowed to vote. The majority of blacks could not read; therefore, they were illiterates. And could not vote.
The whites did many bad things to the blacks, all based on "white supremacy."
Why do people discriminate?
I don't want to know, but it isn't good.
I can't even imagine some persons thinking they are better than me because they are first-class and I'm not. Then you think you shouldn't have anything to do with me. You can only relate with first-class students.
Discrimination has never resulted in anything good. It's an ingredient that brews damages. Go into history and see for yourself how racism in America led to war. A lot of things happened, terrible things.
There are numerous consequences of discrimination. They are damaging.
Discrimination has a negative impact on people's opportunities, well-being, and feeling of agency. Individuals who are subjected to discrimination regularly may internalize the prejudice or stigma aimed at them, resulting in feelings of shame, low self-esteem, fear, and stress, as well as inadequate health.
Racism impoverishes the whole economy. People have to know this.
Discrimination affects everyone, not just those who are directly affected.
New research demonstrates that, while those directly affected by racism were the most affected, prejudice had a massive economic impact, diminishing the wealth and income of millions of individuals, including whites who did not consider themselves victims.
This implies that the targeted victims are affected by the cycle of discrimination. The one discriminating against the other also gets involved in some ways.
I'm pleading with you all, and I mean everyone reading this right now. Please stop discriminating, whatever form it is. It is not good for others; it is not good for you too.
God created us equally regardless of what we have or whatever level we've attained.
Discriminating won't take you anywhere; it'll only slow you down.
Thanks for reading.
I'm so sorry for suddenly disappearing. I'm back now, I honestly needed that break.
Emotional Illnesses
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju ✍️✍️
She was my baby... my honey pie.
Wait what's baby?
My fiancee.
I had popped up the big question and she gave me a big YES. That's about a year now.
And guess what....? 'we're getting married this weekend'
I love Trinity.
Yeah Trinity is her name.
I aren't so rich, I mean I live in a three bedroom rented apartment and I own a car. And yeah... I got a land too that I'll start building my own house.
Trinity is like everything to me.
She mean the whole world to me.
I can't start pening down how much I love Trinity, but she has occupied every corner of my heart.
And yeah I'll satisfy your curiosity, she loves me too. Many times she has gone all out for me, she has proven to love me me so much. I mean she has been the best thing ever.
Betrayal is the act of betraying someone. We all know what it means to betray someone, or be betrayed. I really don't think I should start explaining that.
Trinity violated my confidence in her two days to our wedding. She broke my trust into pieces. She threw me in the mud and trampled all over me.
I died.
Not only that...
Not only did I catch Trinity red handed, cheating on me. I mean, if I had caught cheating... it wouldn't have been this bad. Cause it was with non other person but my immediate junior brother.
And here am I, locked out from people... sitting on the mountain, weary and tired from crying. Ignored alot of calls from people who had tried to reach out to me since I fled yesterday.
Tomorrow is supposed to me my wedding, a day I had long awaited... suddenly turned out to be a nightmare.
I feel Jilted.
I feel betrayed;
I feel sick.
"Why?"
....I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Trinity and my brother.
There's this saying, that somethings, the person who you would take a bullet for, is the one behind the trigger.
Emotional Illness is a form of Mental illness or disorder. And betrayal leads to emotional or mental Illnesses. Heartbreak, a common form of emotional trauma.
Sometimes we wander why heartbreak or betrayal hurt so much.
Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt.
Yesterday, I wrote an article titled "broken".
About two besties who were so close to each other. But then, the other jilted her friend by having an affair with her best friend's boyfriend.
Just like today's story... it's all betrayal. And they are heart breaking.
Things happen in life, people who you call friends or you love so much are the ones who would break your heart.
Mind you, an enemy can never break your heart. An enemy cannot betray you. An enemy can't break your trust.
What I'm trying to say, it's only your friends and loved ones that tend to break your heart.
I don't know how you all handle betrayal, heartbreaks or emotional Illnesses. But I have few things that can help.
**Getting Over a Heartbreak or betrayal**
Acceptance is the First Step
Forgiveness
Be The Better Person and Forgive
Do Not Avoid the Pain, cry as much as you want.
Take Time to Heal: Take It One Day at a Time
End the Connection
Go Out and Socialize
Share What You Feel With a Trusted Person.
Okay I think this should help a bit.
Tomorrow is Valentine day 🥵🥵.
Oh sorry, this might help anyways 😹😹.
Don't mind me, but that'll be all for today's article. Hope you enjoyed it. And I hope one or two people find this useful now, tomorrow or later 😌😌.
Thanks for reading
Broken
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju ✍️✍️✍️
We were best of friends, we could hardly do without each other. We we're so close alot of people mistook us for twins.
We would literarily go to the market and get matching outfits. The love was real, despite the fact that we aren't family.
What do people call people in such relationship? Besties...
Ok.
I loved her!
Yea... I totally believed she loved me.
The fact that she made me know every of her secrets, everything.
There are days we'll fight, but then we're back together again...
Even when we are fighting, she'll still come meet me, for her relationship troubles.
Yeah she was dating on guy like that, a guy that knows how close we are... and how dramatic I can be if he tries to take my friend funny.
Then there was this guy I got close to.
He was the kind of man I like.
Hardworking, descent, truthful, humble and all round handsome.
We got close, but little did I know... my bestie got jealous.
The guy and I were colleagues at work, and from there we became good friends.
My friend got to meet him, my bestie. And yeah he got to know I had a female friend really close to my heart.
Along the line, I started to like this guy... I mean, he has almost everything I want in a man.
My bestie grew fond of him, well... I wasn't against it for once.
Later on, my guy friend asked me out.
I told my bestie
Well, she gave me one funny advice not to give him a yes immediately despite the fact that she knows I like him. I loved the idea.
You know, girls and pride.
Three days later, I stared dating this guy. I accepted to date him.
My bestie celebrated us.
We were really happy yea....
Two weeks into my relationship, I went to see my boyfriend. But I met my bestie there.
She apologized she would have informed me so we could come over together, that she only came to collect some movies from him.
I didn't even take it as a big deal.
A week later, I was bored so I went over to my friend's place.
She hadn't taken her bath as at that time so she decided she'll go bath so we could take a stroll.
She left her phone.
A WhatsApp message popped on her phone as a notification. I never meant to look, but I saw my boyfriend's name... James.
The message read.
"Thank you so much for last night"
I furrowed my brows in confusion.
'last night?'.
I got curious, so I picked up her phone and unlocked it since I know her pattern.
I immediately clicked on their chat and just then another message came in.
"I miss you baby, can we meet this night again?"
My eyes widened.
Not believing my eyes, I checked his dp.
I wasn't seeing things, it was my baby... my very own boyfriend.
I read their chat.
My people, I wept.
Cause it wasn't only enough that my bestie was dating and sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back. She was bad-mouthing me.
She said a alot of bad things, really really terrible things about me. Majority were lies and the rest were secrets I thought I kept with her.
Tears rolled out of my eyes uncontrollably.
I looked up to see her in her towel staring down at me.
I couldn't even utter a word even though my lips were left hanging wanting the say alot of things. Wanting to ask a lot of questions.
Wanting to know what made her think I deserved what she just did to me...
Alot of whys.
To my utmost surprise, she snatched her phone from my hand and left my front hissing.
"You can leave if you want to" she stated, her back on me.
My bestie of sixteen years.
Thanks for reading 🙏
Please note that this story is hundred percent frictional.
Besties are good but a lot are develish. As a matter of fact, I have two besties and we're good 😁😁 wink wink 😉😉
No ooo 🤔😹 we fight alot over stupid things 🤣
#fictionwriting
Mental Illnesses
Written by Favour Ifeoluwa Olanrewaju ✍️✍️✍️
My phone got spoilt 😢.
I mean last week, it fell and the screen got broken. Well, that seem like a minor issue. I actually thought I could still manage it, I could still click on the screen. And there isn't even money anywhere.
But unfortunately, mid into the following day, my phone started pouring ink.
I stubbornly still thought I could still manage it. Not because I wished to, I couldn't even type anything so I couldn't post on readcash.
Well reasons because, my school just resumed... my parents were after paying for my hostel accommodation and school fees.
I didn't even tell them. I was being considerate.
The following day, it got really worse, I couldn't chat on WhatsApp, I couldn't even call. I could only pick calls.
I became depressed people.
The most funny thing was the fact that nobody checked on me, like what's the big deal about a phone getting spoilt.
I know it wasn't supposed to be a big deal, but people it was. I was really so sad. I got to realise I really can't do without my phone. I know it'll seem like a bad habit, but that's it.
I had to inform my parents about it, my dad got angry.... like why was I so careless!
I know I am careless, but then it only added salt to the injury. My dad was angry with me, okay that broke my heart really more.
You might not want to believe if tell you I began loosing it at some points.
I'll just stay indoors all day, started over sleeping. I stopped eating. I was always sad. Even watching movies seemed boring.
The person I was staying with as at that time told me she'll take me through therapy, I'm getting depressed lolsss 😅😅😅
Wait.
All these because of just a phone.
I could not read seff, cause I believed I can only read when my phone is with me... the fact that I have all my slides as soft copies.
Well....
Reading through all these, you'll be wondering. This is actually emotional distress and should be titled emotional illness. But then, it's both.
I was down both emotionally and mentally.
I decided to talk about mental illness cause it reminds me of a task Liquorose and her team carried out on last year's shine your eyes BB Naija season 6.
**Mind you, there are different types of mental illnesses.**
Eating disordes
Scrizophenia disorders
Anxiety disorders
Depression disorders
Bipolar mood disorders
Personality disorders.
I guess mine started with anxiety..., then it lead to depression and getting me bipolar.
Hope you know mental illness is a disorder.
Alot of people with even beautiful faces have mental health issues. Some people you might never even expect. It could have been really shocking hearing Liquorose say that during her diary session with Biggy. Judging with the type of person she is. A person with vibes and full of energy.
Someone could even be like,what's she saying?
But then... people are really going through shit 💔.
**“For the other one, I’m still in the process of trying to get out. I’m sure that after the show, I think I’ll be ready to see a therapist to talk with but I’m having it fine because, during the house, I have been able to talk to few people that ‘hey, I’m going through this or that.’ So I feel that more attention should be paid to mental health.”**
I copied this out because she made two very key points here that kills mental illness.
One; She said she'll be seeing a therapist after the show
Two; she said during the house, she was able to talk to few people, that she's going through stuffs.
This again 👇👇
**“I’ve kept it to myself for a while. I actually talked about one with friends and all of that and I’ve been able to get myself out of it.**
Liquorose and her team even gave a talk on mental illness. You all remember what happened to Kaycee, a bbn housemate too.
It was emotional.
You might not know,but speaking to people lessen a lot of burdens. You're freeer when you talk to someone about what you're passing through. You've got to believe it.
Please note, not someone who will add to it or make you become more drained. Someone, or people you are sure will be of help, even if it is just a listening ear.
I've tried it and it works.
I mean.
I remembered, ranting to the person I was staying with. Then she asked us to see a movie, it helped a bit, even though I slept off along the line. Lolss
The next day, we watched comedies together. I laughed like someone with no worries.
Alot lot of things were piling up for me, and yes thinking about them were making me sad, but that night, I felt lightened.
Thinking about it now, if I had been able to talk to many of my friends that my phone got spoilt and it was making me sad, get any of them to take me out or asked for us to just go out or take a stroll... I mean instead of just spending all day indoors, brewing in sadness and being overly upset. Then I wouldn't have lost my mind at any point in time.
Alot of things happen we never bargain for, but then... speak out.
Wait,
do you even check on people?
I mean do you check on even your friends?
Or all you just do is to come online and catch cruise....
Do you even notice when a friend or coursemate goes offline for days?
People are going through shit... forget my example, let's call it small.
But people are going through things that, just a mere phone call or check up can get them gushing their heart out.
Saying it out alone relieves them, talk more of getting people in position or able to help.
This world revolves around having to help people in whatever way.
You're reading this right now, and you're going through mental stress... is it about paying your children's school fees, or having alot of bills to pay, or there is something you need to get urgently. Or there is something totally wrong or off.
Why don't you first talk to someone. Not just one sometimes, two, three, four, or more....
I mean that alone with get you a little bit of your sanity.
Why don't you try seeing a therapist if you think it's too weighty.
Please stop stomaching everything, it can cause ulcer.
Mind you,you need your sanity to keep moving 🥺🥺. To live life.
I don't know but I really which this helps someone, or alot of people out there.
Well well well, I got my phone repaired.
Oh okay, I got back my sanity. And then, it made me realize alot of things.
The absence of my phone wasn't the real problem, i decided to get rooted on a spot 😢 and I would never do that again.
Well, I'll justify myself... my friends didn't check up on me lolsss.
Once again, forget my example... you might not see it the way I'm seeing it, but try to check on people from time to time.
It's really important.
To be honest, more attention should be payed on mental health, for yourself and others.
And when someone comes talk to you, that one thing or the other is making him or her mentally drained, don't redicule it! no matter how stupid it may sound to you. The person needs just a word of encouragement, or if not anything... a ear to listen to.
Cause you wouldn't know what level of damage you could end up causing.
Atleast, first of all... tonight I've talked to myself.
Thanks for reading.
#saynotomentalillness
Could have posted in my former account but it got spammed... don't really know why though.
Been a while here though...
Sorry for that please 🙏
@Baby_girl
