@MidnightSky

@MidnightSky 12 May 2024

Ang inetttt mga mamshhh, happy mother's day!!!

@MidnightSky 1 December 2022

DecemBreak Howdie folks, it's been a long quite time since my last entry here, I apologize to myself for being that aloof again, to be honest I still write stuff on those days of my absences, but just not here, I'm preserving it in my journal. These past few months has been a crucial and burdensome to this mini stage of mine, I'm the player who often loses her own game and in a mundane of sloppy act that slowly making me tired and formidable. It's not just about academic stress but everything is just seems so draining, family issues, personal, and my own existence is just a pure emotional burden, sometimes I think its the hormones that makes me feel like this but can't help but to admit that there is always the reason why I felt like that, but I'm trying to distract myself, coping by the use of avoiding the topic of personal issues or if people is asking me if I'm fine, I just nod, or act like its nothing, but deep inside it breaks me, and not having someone to talk to about this is just so heavy. I spent the mundane of notions running through my mind, making me feel the void of heaviness and it kills me figuratively, the emotions I gate keep as always, I'm so selfish to my own self that I can't even utter my insecurities and this emotional burdens I'm carrying, I have no guts to speak it in people, even with my closes ones, I don't want to add more to their own burdens, Now, if you all wondering, why I'm writing it here, well I felt like I need a validation from people whom doesn't know me very well, strangers if that's what they called it, it's just feel so nice and maybe unload for a moment, breath for the meantime, release those grips that keeping me on leashed, I can't help but to be so open here, now I'm just here in a coffee shop writing this one, I felt like walking a while ago then decided to spend my afternoon sipping some coffee and decided to write here again. I'm so hooked up on writing letters and messages these past few days, so for anyone who's gonna reas this, I hope this message will somehow even a little bit lessen your burden on our own predicaments we walk through... *****Dear whoever you are,***** *You might not be quite feeling well right now, and felt like this whole scenarios are a bit overwhelming, being in the midst of this vast stage that is crowded by your own notions that keeps encircling in your mind every time you are left alone in a dim of the darkness, remember that a glimpse of light will still always be the thing that give you a hope, for a better tomorrow, for you to find your own purpose, for you to feel and go to your own solace,* *There's always a sight of undiscovered path, to be scared, to be lost, and to be in a battle on your own self is normal, it's part of those challenges in life that makes us human, and makes us much more stronger in this voyage of our own, every step we take lead us to something, maybe if the time it's not for you then there's always awaits, there's always a better place for us to be, maybe not now, but soon we will be standing in that, and we will just look back, and see that it's all worth it, every hardships, every risks is worth because now that we are here, we found our home, we found our place that we can called our solace.* *I'm in no position on writing this one, it just felt so good to tell it here freely and no judgements, it's easy for me to say all of this but deep inside applying it to our own is such a difficult thing to do, but no matter what, atleast we tried, at least we keep on tring and not giving up, becauae we are the main characger of our own story , we just need more time to learn to be one.* *"keep on going", "don't give up", "stay strong" seems a little toxic to me, those words is so easy to say but when reality hit us really hard, it will never been easy, keeping on tabs on this mundane of painful struggles, not giving up on things even it consumes us, drained us, its all overwhelming, maybe for some angle it helps a little as it serves as the words of affirmation, but what we all need is a rest, a halt, a time for us to calm everything out, when it gets messy and feels nothings is going on, stop, let it all out, let it flow like a river of sour thoughts and emotional burdens, be fragile, its okay. But please there's always a limit, there's always a need to comeback, life will continues even we don't, so we need to move forward even if its difficult, but it's up to us how we will survive on this predicaments of life.* Lead image source: https://troymedia.com/viewpoint/healing-pain-heals-world/ Image source: https://bellamonterecovery.com/how-to-heal-from-spiritual-trauma/ https://www.peakpx.com/en/hd-wallpaper-desktop-oxzcs **I wrote this one a while ago, while I'm out at my house, I need to have my afternoon walk, since this day is a lil bit draining cause I'm tired of sulking at the corner of our house, and my cousin won't let me in peace haha, I'll just leave this here, and hope we all welcome this last month of 2022, I wish all of us here will be spending this month with all joyful and and qarm hearts and light feeling, with a smile carve into our faces. May all the blessing comes in our way, hope you all doing great my dearest skies. Happy month of December.**

@MidnightSky 3 October 2022

To my unknown *Faces that's still foreign,* *Feelings that's still untold,* *Paths that's still unspecified,* *Just like a seed waiting for it's necessities and needs for itself to grow, foster, fonder, and bloom,* *We both may not know yet what this future holds,* *A billions of unsure yet you're the only one I'm sure of,* *We may not be crossing our path, but sure thing, the almighty is doing his best for us to meet when the time comes,* *And when it does, I will not hesitate to let my guard downs,* *I'll let you in to the walls I built for years,* *Will not hang back and will just genuinely commited,* *Let's be in a pure bliss for a while* *I want a person who's willing to stay even at my worst, will be like just there,* *I want someone who can make me take down my walls I built* *I want someone who's pure that would stay and love the all of me, including my edges and insecurities* *I want someone who's ready to get lost with me,* *And I want that someone to be you,* *I'm waiting for those morning where I found myself at my own solace,* *Where I could find myself enjoying the boring weekend afternoons,* *Where I could find myself smiling for a reason, and that reason is the presence beside me, and it's you, my uknown person,* *With you is the bloom of the unending smiles,* *And I waiting for that day, to meet you and call you mine,* *I'm just here, waiting to the unknown.* ***-sky*** Oh that's a cringe piece haha, I just saw this on my notes, maybe I'm just bored when I wrote this one, but I love how this ones go, like it's a person waiting for her lover, but still had no idea how does he/she looks like, if ever they crossed paths or not, or even her love is still unknown, you see there's no such thing like I love you's can make a person fell in love, I see this writing of mine as a person who's in love with the idea of being in love, and not the person who's ready to share his/her all just for the sake of love, Maybe there will be the time that you'll meet your own person, maybe you wouldn't notice that he/she is already with you or still just a stranger waiting for the moment to crossed with each other's path, maybe patience is not the key, because patience just gives us hopes, and ***hopes sometimes could be a traitor or an allied*** , because when there is hope, there is expectations, and the more you expect the more possible disappointments will come, I didn't say to kill your hopes and expectations, nor your patience, I'm just saying that, you doesn't need to wait for someone, to make you feels special or to make yourself feel loved, you doesn't need to be patience for the love that it's still unknown, there's a lot of what ifs in this world, and what if the unkown will still remain unknown, you see people, you don't need to depend on the unsure, you don't need to settled on things that still strange, and wait for the right time, because to be honest ***the number one enemy in this life is the "time",*** You don't say that there's always time for that and for those, again we don't know what future holds, what if one moment you're here and later on you'll not, what if your times is already up, so let's not wait for anything or anyone, rather ***focus on yourself, focus on the things that make you happy, focus on people who makes you smile and bring the best in you.*** *****Make yourself as the unknown to be known.***** **That's maybe it for now, I'm waiting for the unknown kidding hahaha I'm just waiting for the clock hits at 10 so I could fixed myself because I still have to go to face to face class and waiting feels like forvers, gosh I really hate mondays, I'm started to look like a walking zombie because of my sleepless nights cause I prioritized watching and reading that sleeping hahaha I just find the evenings much more productive time thanmorning, because daylight makes me feel sleepy haha.** Lead Image source: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/waiting-games/ Image source: https://unsplash.com/s/photos/waiting https://www.pinterest.com/pin/374361787760100399/ https://www.123rf.com/stock-photo/moonlight.html **By the way, Happy Monday to all my dearest skies, have a great day, take care and always keep yourself hydrated, enjoy the rest of the day guys, God bless us all:-)**

@MidnightSky 1 October 2022

September dump Closing off the door to my birth month feels like refreshing, say goodbye to September and spread your arms welcoming October, I hope this month would be just full of happiness and good vibes, dear October please just be good to us and please don't put much pressure and stress to each and everyone here haha, Writing my past memorable moment the whole September since it's the start of october so we gonna go get move on and make some memories again. ****Septmoments**** ****Tagaytay stroll with my friend**** This is the highlight of my september gosh, my friend and I go to unexpected stroll at tagaytay hahaha even it's raining cats and dogs, we go home like a wet chickens hahaha but still I love this moment since that's my first time going on an unexpected trip using just a motorcyle and without asking for permission to my parents hahaha, this is the reason why I'm so fond on the unexpected stuffs because it's much more enjoyable and exciting knowing that we know nothing and just go with flow and explore haha I mean this is just so lit and I go home before the clock hits at eight in the evening and my mother nag me a lot but yeah at least I enjoy that day. ****Birthday celebration**** Of course my most not awaited celebration of mine yeah when I say not, I don't really do celebration when it comes to myself special on my birthday but my friends and my parents wanted to celebrate it so badly I don't know why hahaha, but yeah I celebrated my birthday with my friend at the UKB or most known as unli korean barbeque, we chatted and ate a lot, and also later that night, I simple have a dinner with my family, just by that it's more than enpugh for me, my mom loves to nag me because I really doesn't have the will on celebrating my own birthday hahha but yeah for the sake of being happy I celebrated it genuinely to the most significant people in my life, I'm so lucky to meet and have them. ****Coffee date**** My bestfriend of course will always be part of my every month dump haha we are like those package, a two peas in a pod, bread and jam, just like what twin siblings do haha, I mean yeah she's on of my own solace I guess haha I feel so comfortable and warm when I'm with her, so yeah we go on a coffee date again and of course it's not just about having a coffee but also to spill a lot of tea's hahaha the normal ritual of our friendship haha even though we are so busy on our own lives we still had this specific day that we should be serve as our bonding time haha so yeah coffee date with her feels so nice. ****Late night walk with someone**** I guess I will not reveal whom I walk with that day haha its just so complicated and really unexpected also, I took a photo of those shining light because we really walk under a lot of lingering lights haha it's an unexpected meet and yeah I saw him buying donuts while I'm having a late night walk since it's weekend that day and I'm having my time just watching people and the surroundings while walking, not when he calls me by my name yeah he should be because if he called me by my nickname that he gave to me, I might just overthink again hahaha so yeah he goes with me holding his donuts and an ice coffee haha he also wanted to share it with me but I decline and say thank you, but he's so persistent not when I realized I'm having a good time while walking with him and listenung to bis random talks hahha (acting like there's no past issues ha kidding) so yeah that's it and yeah that's it, he also walk me to my home but he refused to stay for a bit because it's late. ****Face to face class**** It's the start of the struggles of being a commuter gosh, it's very tiring and really I think I'm not in a good condition anymore, every day face to face class really makes me so exhausted, yeah I mean it's good to be back on the regular basis of having myself going on school everyday, it's fun since I got the chance to bond and socialized with others personally but who can blame me the reality for mewhen it comes to face to face is just much more on being worn out every single day of traveling just to make it to school hahaa but yeah I supposed to just make myself get used to it again. **That would be it fow now, let's start the october with so much gratefulness and blessings, good vibes only hehez it's weekend and we supposed to be having fun or having our leisure time with ourselves or with our love ones, because monday will be coming again haha days goes by so fast, in seems like in a blink of an eye, Christmas will be near again haha.** Lead image source: https://www.lovethispic.com/image/129656/hello-october,-please-be-nice **Image source :** https://www.jing.fm/iclipt/oboRRb/ **I hope you're all having a good time everyone, I'm not active here anymore because I got busy on my studies and other personak stuffs and I haven't have time to communicate here and write something, but stilk I'll come back when I'm not that busy or I'll try to write again, my diary is already full na hahaha anyways have a great night everyone, stay hydrated and keep yourself safe as always. Welcome October please be good to us✨**

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@MidnightSky 22 September 2022

Half bluffs, half meant ****Some says that those people who's wide awake between one to three am in dawn time, are the one who's either INLOVE**** ****or BROKEN,**** *I know someone back then in highschool, I met him at the program event in our school, I think that's acquaintance party that time, I'm alone at the back of the crowds, I hate crowded places yet students are keep on hovering just to watch a band perfoming at the mini stage our school has, my friends are also their but minding their own business since we are really their to socialized and met new people in our new alma matter, cause that's the purpose of any acquaintance party right? Hahaha...* *I'm sitting at the back just enjoying the music from one of my favorite OPM band "Silent Sanctuary" if some of you know them then it's good yet to those who doesn't, then try to listen to their tracks it's all great, so back to the story, I was just there when the band plays "ikaw lamang" I vibe to that song though, and after that the next segment will be the open mic, where they'll choose from the crowds of students who wants to perform or sing with them in the stage, I got bored and go to buy some drinks and when I'm going back to my sit, I heard the strum of guitar, the familiar beat, and I hear him sang the "For tonight" by Silent Sanctuary one of the greatest underrated song I've listen, and to hear someone cover it got me so curious,* *I walk closer near the stage not minding the crowded students just to see the person who are now performing,* *That's when the first time, I met those eyes, those pointed nose, those smiles while feeling the song, I enjoyed watching and listening to his voice, and after that I didn't realized that the song was about to end not until I heard the shouts and claps from the crowds, I see him walking down from the stage, I never had the guts to talk to him because I'm not fond of socializing before,* *Morning came and I got to school, I was surprised seeing him in front of our class, oh so he's a new transferee here, that's when I got to have a chance to talk to him, he sits at the back one chair before me, I turn around and smile at him, he just look at me and smile back. Everytime I got a chance to talk to him I took it, could be about acads or just a nonsense talks cause I want him to be my friend, he's good looking, not an academic problematic, he excels in class, posses a good manners and right conduct, sociable yet he's a bit quite I guess not until I got to know him and we became close, we became buddies, we became friends...* *We know each other's family and whereabouts, actually my mom treats him like his very own son, and often teased me to become just like a him, a kind and smart one, I don't get offended though cause he's really smart compares to me who just knows only how to rants hahhaa,* *We are friends for a year and when we take our steps into second year of highschool, that all change, she met a girl from the class he's in, sad to say but we are not in the same class anymore cause my grades is not enough to go the higher section where he is, so yeah he met this girl, got close, often times she brought this girl to our hangouts, yeah I became a nationwide thirdwheel, he opens up to me, he says that he like that girl, and I see through his eyes how she's so genuine and happy while talking about to this girl, I smile thinking that he finally met someone that will make him smile and laugh like this,* *They became together as a couple, I support him though, I'm his friend so I should be happy for him, but life has always its own twist as always, they fight often, plus add up his family problems because of his parents fight, I see him so fragile and problematic, but when I ask if how is he, he'll tell me he's fine, but I know his answer are opposite to what he acts,* *Then one day I woke in the midst of the night looking at the clock that hits at almost two am in the morning, I check my phone and saw his message, I reply to it and I was shocked that he's still awake at that time, I talk to him, about what's bothering him and also some random talks about his relationship with his family and to her girlfriend, then he fell asleep, but myself can't go back to my slumber again, I'm wide awake that time.* *****Again, Some says that those people who's wide awake between one to three am in dawn time, are the one who's either INLOVE or BROKEN,***** *****He's broken and I'm in love with the person who is broken, I'm inlove with my best friend.***** Woah, still can't get over to highschool dramas sometimes specially when my days are becoming much more on serious stuffs and adulting, I used to go back on some old stuffs and reminisce the moment and memories behind those valuable things, haha so I wrote this one after seeing the old bracelet I get from my ex bestfriend actually haha yeah the title says half bluffs and half meant, some of thw scenarios are really true here haha and actually base on my experience but some are not, ****Bluffs**** are the where I met him, it's not in the acquaintance party but it's in my second year highschool he also sang that time in a school singing contest, it's not the song "For tonight" but he instead sang "Say you won't let go" that's why I will never forget that song, bluff also that we're still friends, maybe now we are just stranger with some memories. And I ****meant**** it when I said that I fall to him, I'm inlove with his broken pieces that time, but sad to say it includes with the fact that he's also inlove with some other woman, and I respect and support him. Yeah hope you understand this one haaha my mind is a messed I just finished taking my online afternoon class and decided to finish this one, I start to write this one yesterday but forget to finish it haha so yeah it's all said and done, Lead Image source: https://www.whtimes.co.uk/things-to-do/do-the-clocks-go-forward-tonight-5517422 Image source: https://open.spotify.com/album/7DnAkEAu8GptMKZTQvbnGx Have a nice day to everyone, Happy Thursday, hope you all having a good time, keep safe and stay hydrated as always. Enjoy the rest of the day my skies:-)

@MidnightSky 19 September 2022

A blessing and a curse ***"I'm sorry, it's just that I only want us to be together always"*** ***"It's so selfish of me, but what can I do, I'm so in love with you and I will do everything and took over all the forces that will try to ruined us"*** *Tears dripping down on that face of my love, I'm in pain seeing my valuable solace crying because of me, I hate it, I feel like I failed us, this can't be, it's not supposed to end up like this...* **Flashback before the the night it happened...** ***"Baby, I'm always here don't worry there's no such thing can separate us"*** he said with a serious tone in his voice I smiled hearing him says that makes my stomach crumbles and keeping on tight like there's a butterflies wanting to get out from it, ***"I love you so much baby..."*** I said and hugged him, gosh I wish it will always be like this, with him, in his arms, I feel the comfort I always need. ***"enough of this cuddle baby you need to go home first, remember you'll gonna tell your parents that I'm your boyfriend now..."*** he said with sincerity in his eyes ***" what if they wouldn't want you for me baby?"*** I pout and hugged him more and and push my head to his neck even more, he smells so good, I'm getting inebriated... ***" shhh I'm sure they will understand it... So yeah call me later for the news baby"*** he said smiling onto me I kissed him goodbye ***" okay baby"*** Night came and my parents told me to break up with him, it frustrates me and makes me sad, I called him with a heavy heart ***" hello baby... What up?"*** he said on the other line ***" baby what's wrong? "*** He asked in a worried tone because there's no word leaving my mouth until I gather my strength to tell him... ***" my parents wanted me to break up with you, it's for my own good they said and if I don't do what they wanted they will bring me to states away from you baby"*** I cried while telling him ***" baby shhh don't cry... I'll understand... Obey them... They are your parents they know what's the best for you... Let's break up baby I don't want you go..."*** he said ***" baby but..."*** ***"shhh I love you baby and if I continue loving you they will take you away from me, I won't let that happen, it's better to see you from a far than not seeing you, don't worry I love you and remember that always... Now tell them for now"*** he said He ended the call... **Later on** The siren of the police linger through our home, and my parents body lying on the ground covered with blood I cried calling him ***" hello baby"*** he answered ***"baby...they are dead"*** I said ***"who... Oh my gosh I'll go there wait for me baby"*** he said and ended the call **Few minutes after** ***"you're a suspect for murder sir"*** I heard the policeman says ***"what I didn't do anything"*** he said I looked at him tears streaming down on my face. ***" baby please believe me... I didn't do anything"*** he cried and looked at me I run in our rooftop and inhale some air, I hear foosteps ***" baby hey... Believe me I didn't kill them"*** I hear him behind me I looked at him and nod my head ***" of course baby... I believed you"*** I smile to him He walks towards to me to comfort me, but before he even get close he looks at my hands and my shoes ***" baby why there's a lot of blood on y-... Oh my gosh don't tell me..."*** he said while his eyes are accusing me ***"I'm sorry, it's just that I only want us to be together always"*** I said but he just looks at me in shocked ***"It's so selfish of me, but what can I do, I'm so in love with you and I will do everything and took over all the forces that will try to ruined us"*** I said to him Tears dripping down on that face of my love, I'm in pain seeing my valuable solace crying beacuse of me, I hate it, I feel like I failed us, this can't be, it's not supposed to end up like this... I walk closer to him and claim his lips but he push me away, that I almost fell on the ground... ***" Are you out of your mind!... They are your parents for f*ck sake..."*** he shout while looking at me and a glimpse of pain and anger can be seen on his eyes ***"Baby, here me out please... Don't get mad okay... I did it for us... I did it for you, so you will not be taken away from me... Please baby..."*** I pleaded like my life depends on it ***"No... You are effin crazy"*** he said while gripping his hair in frustration ***" Yes baby and I'm crazy inlove with you, that I kill them just to make you mine, and don't let anyone to separate us, even them, just like what you said baby... I f*cking kill my own parents for you... For us..."*** I said, anger is building up within me ***"it's not what I meant... Stop this you need to turn yourself in, you aren't the person I love before, please..."*** he said looking at me ***"No!"*** I shout to the void and go run and hug him, he tried to release my grip but he couldn't, ***"baby please..."*** I cried while hugging him He hug me back while crying, and I smile through that sweet gesture of him ***"I love you so much baby..."*** I cried looking at him while my arms are still on his shoulders and a smile starts showing to my face ***"I will help you get through this baby...please turn yourself in, so we can start again"*** he said while smile on his face looking at me I stopped my tears and the curved on my lips turn into flat line, I kissed him and get my knife in my pocket and slit his throat... Blood shred into my hands, I sat and let his head in my lap and continuously patting his hair while smiling at him, ***"I will always claim what's mine, and you are... If you can't be mine in this lifetime then I won't let anyone be with you..."*** ***"I love you baby... I love you so much and I'll do everything for you, even if killing you was saving you from this mess, I'll do even if it kills me to... I love you so much my love, no one can separate us now"*** I said and kissed him before I slit my throat and and it all turns dark. **The end.** Thank you for reading this short story of mine hahaha my mind go wild wanting to write something like this so I did hahah sorry for some grammatical errors, I don't do proof reading haha so yeah bare with those. Thank you again. Lead Image source: https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/bangladeshi-woman-sentenced-to-death-after-cutting-lovers-heart-out-1291750/amp/1 Image source: https://indianexpress.com/article/india/gujarat-kutch-woman-suicide-family-murder-lover-6509381/ Have a nice day everyone, Happy Tuesday hope you enjoy reading this one, enjoy the rest of the day my dearest skies, hope you all having a good time, keep yourself safe and stay hydrated as always. Enjoy:-)

@MidnightSky 19 September 2022

Teardown making this piece In secret she weeps, and in silence she cries, when the sun is set and darkness invades, where she's aware that there's no one watching, she erased the painted smiles and let the rain of tears stream down to her face, she goes up again and act like nothing is wrong, she smile but she's in pain, she showed up in a well being again, because even in secret she's broken, she act string because she's a mother... There's a lot of time where our mothers cry because of us, and the painful part of it is they will just do it if they know that we aren't looking to them, we aren't aware of their silent cries, and for me to witness my mom's cry is the most painful feeling I'll ever witnessed, it just break me into tiny bits, *****There are some moments that they cried because of US***** ****THEY CRY BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT EVEN IF THEY WANT TO,**** This one hits me the most, I'm so sure that even I don't see my mom's tears when I'm asking something to her, and she can't give it to me even if she wants to but she couldn't cause she can't afford it, I know now that between her smiles and jokes when I started to pout and sulk because she can't give me what I want, I know now the pain that she's feeling, she's hurting because I know that mothers only want the best for their child and wanted to give everything their child wanted but if they can't even if they want to, they will teared up and in pain and start to think small of themselves, but they doesn't show it to us. ****THEY CRY EVERYTIME WE RAISE OUR VOICE TO THEM OR WE HAVE FIGHT ON THEM**** This is what I'm always been guilty for, I know to myself that I'm not a good daughter to my mom, I hate the fact that I'm the one who's reason of her tears, of course I know now that she's faking it because she keeps on masking her tears into anger because I know that they feel that they aren't good enough us a mother that's why their daighter treat her like this like I don't respect her, it's so mucb to imagine knowing that I hurt them by being selfish, self centered and rude person I am, and I'm reflecting on that behavior of mine and I feel so sorry and really hated myself by my action. ****THEY CRY BECAUSE THEY ARE WORRIED**** I know mother will always know the best for their children and worries that we cause is also the reason to her cries thinking where are we, like we are nowhere to be found and it's getting late and we you got home later on, they will nag you and bring all the frustration and worries and they are good at masking up their cries and worries by their anger yet after that they will feel guilty and try to make up to us, ****THEY CRY WHEN WE ARE CRYING,**** They cry because they feel like they are no good for seeing us hurt and a crying mess, they feel bad about themselves because they feel so useless and don't know what to do when we are crying, so they cry when they saw us cry, they share the same pain just seeing us hurting, they are also hurting, yet they don't let us seem them in that situation, they won't let us see those tears. *****So knowing all of these I hope that there will be no more mother that would cry because of their child, I hope that we love them and prevent them from worrying so much, try to give them time and respect, love them so much, because we don't knwo what they going through, we don't know their secret cries and sleepless nights because of the guilt on themselves, so love them and give time to spends with them, make them special, because while we are busy growing old we doesn't notice that our parents also are.***** That's maybe for now, I'm just so emotional while writing this one, and my mind is a messed imagining every scenario I've mentioned above, that's why I'm so lucky and blessed to have my mom, and if ever I'll be born again for the next lifetime I will still choose to be born again as her daughter, this got me so emotional, I don't want my mom to feel the burden, and her cries makes me so weak, I only see her crying once and it feels like a knife striking my heart a million times. ****That's why love your mother, they are always the first ever woman that will be with you even at your worst, they may not be perfect yet they are the best.**** Lead Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/broken-soul-by-bekurahtoshin-on-deviantart--19914423325888750/ Image source: https://ilovetravelingandexploring.com/2015/08/06/she-a-broken-soul/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/476959416787069419/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/319051954846978978/ https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/broken-soul By the way that's so serious of me haha, I just finished rewatching along with the Gods that's why I think of writing this one, and also it's just feels so nice to make a content like this, hehez so anyway, have a great day to all. Happy Monday everyone, keep safe and always stay hydrated. Enjoy the rest of the day:-)

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@MidnightSky 15 September 2022

To the man I love the most A special day with my dearest love of my life, my king, my first ever man who holds my heart, my one and only father. Well I think of finding a song that I wanna dedicate to him, yeah like searching not making haha, I'm not writing a song anymore hahaha I wrote a song when I'm in my senior high school years but it's just a simple song of course my sister help me with that cause she also good on instruments but now I can't write a song anymore that's why I'm finding a song for my father that will suits him the most haha and it is Chrisette Michelle's song entitled "Your Joy" I remember singing this to him even my voice is kinda messed up but he still smile and clapped for me gosh I still can imagine my 10 year old self singing to this song, but now I understand the lyrics and really it suits to my father, ***"Walk down the sidewalk*** ***Staring at your feet*** ***Wishing my steps were longer*** ***So by your sides I could keep*** ***Hold your hand much bigger*** ***Never wanted mine to grow*** ***So I could always fit perfect*** ***Inside your palms just so"*** Back when I was just a young naive little one of yours and we go to visit parks and wait for mom to come home from work so we could go to have dinner, It's still vivid how you held my tiny hand back then and patiently walk beside me, because my little steps you are laughing how slow I am, and you held my hands like it's that last time you were holding onto it, you held it so gently but not letting it go and I wish that moment will always be like that I know one day you will be giving my hand to the person who will be with me in the future yet no matter what, your hands will always fits to me and you are my number one man who gives me so much love, care and time, *"No one loves me just like you do* *No one knows me just like you do* *No one can compare to the way my eyes fit in yours* *You'll always be my father, oh* *And I'll always be your joy"* Just like the lyrics of the song, no man loves me just like you do papa, no one knows me from my flaws and imperfections you still patiently taught me to live this life happily, you we're always there at my side no matter what, and I feel so sorry because I know often times I'm busy growing up and not giving you much time to bond but still you understands, no one compare to your unconditional love of course the same as mom, you spoiled me a lot that's why mom often nags me and of course you are there to rescue me haha my only hero, if ever I'll be given a chace to be born again, I will still choose to be born as your daughter all over again, my standard set so high because you taught me so, *One day he'll come on bended knee* *And ask my love away from me* *And when I give my love to him* *He'll always have a place within* And if ever one day a right person comes and ask for my hand, I will accept him but remmeber that your place will always stays at the special part of my heart, you'll always be my father, the man that will always loved me, the man that I'm always proud of to be his own daughter, I love you pa, I hope you'll enjoy this special day of yours. Happiest birthday to my Papa he's the best man for me, that's why I'm writing this one to save the moment, I'm not showy to what I feel in person but I knew that they feel it to, I'm not good at words because words is not enough to describe how much I love them and so lucky to be their daughter. Now is his birthday and I'm so happy that he is happy along with my family, A simple dinner with him feel so nice and warm, a talks that reminds me how lucky I am to be his daughter, I feel so much comfort of his presence, this is his special day and this evening is much more therapeutic, he knows that I'm not fond of birthdays so he decided to just have a simple dinner with the whole family, and even it's his special day he still thinks of us, he just got from work haha but yeah he decided to have a simple dinner that's why. Maybe that's it for now, I'll enjoy the rest of this night bonding with my fam hahaa they prepare to do movie marathon and I'm sure that they wouldn't finished it ahhaha gosh this day is so tiring yet worth it, because I got to see my dad so happy on his special day. Lead Image source: https://www.inc.com/lisa-abeyta/why-i-stopped-saying-happy-birthday-on-facebook-and-why-you-might-want-to.html Image source: https://www.currentschoolnews.com/articles/happy-birthday-wishes-and-text-messages/ link of the song: chrisette michele your joy videos https://www.google.com/search?si=AC1wQDBFR4euON19x4VER8wqRwOdyfGFgoSrLaEgzneFvEiJ3wknHVOa4a2v994oKEgd4IipMCSPi7XCvhCWIlaIKJAjczuWFCFQzag79pTqSauvRY_d2-1_23rvzwucMJRhm6s9iCFwoWyXn8wujVaSyhVuPc7uqw%3D%3D&hl=en-PH&q=chrisette+michele+your+joy+videos&kgs=daa1aa3752203106&shndl=17&source=sh/x/kp/osrp/2&entrypoint=sh/x/kp/osrp https://youtu.be/REN7bxJbUdI Gosh goodnight everyone, keep safe and have a good sleep, enjoy the rest of the night my dearest skies:-)

@MidnightSky 14 September 2022

Would she believe it? ***"I didn't see it coming"*** Surprise? I think a little bit, however, it's not what I'm expecting to witness, it's not the fruit that I'm waiting to be unfolded, it's not the path that I'm expecting her to walk through, it's not that I don't want to, I just didn't think of it that she would be who she is right now, I get this topic while scrolling on my tiktok app the time tbat I woke up and check on my phone and found myself watching videos cause I can't go back to my slumber again, ****"WHAT WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF NOT BELIEVE ABOUT YOUR LIFE TODAY"**** I have a lot on my list that really changed my perspective in life as I grew up, childhood beliefs slowly changed and disrupted by the reality of life, as we grow older we often wish to be just in a fairytale than to be in this scary ride of what they called reality, Some of those stuff that my younger self wouldn't believe about my life today are: ****She feel safe in the dark,**** *My younger self would be shock if she now sees me feeling safe in the dark, because I know that back then I feel so scared and threaten on darkness but now that I'm older I realized that darkness is somehow comforting, and I would prefer this as a solace than socializing.* ****She drinks liqour,**** *My younger self promised herself not to be like those elders who goes drunk themselves after a long day, but look at me now, getting stressed, drink, celebrating, drink, bonding, drink, sad, drink, alone, drink, surrounded by friends, drink, now I know the reason why.* ****She's an engineering student,**** *My younger self would be disappointed to me because back then she romanticized healing people, helping sick people, she wants to wear lab gowns and wanted to be doctor, a gynecologist to be specific, yet here she is pursuing engineering, can't believe she take this path gosh she hates math.* ****She's addict when it comes to KPOP idols,**** *Gosh my younger self would really tease me if she knows that I'm too hooked up on kpop stuffs because as far as I know back then I hate kpop and prefer locals but as I grew older and started to explore and knew this sensation, I eat all my words back then, because kpop really changed my life and inspires me, and now they became part of my life.* ****She's writing here right now,**** *My younger self wouldn't believed me if she saw me writing right now because my younger self knows that I'm a lazy human, I rather sleep than spending my time doing stuffs and those stuffs includes writing which she really loathes the most, she's just so annoying and really a couch potato, and seeing herself right now writing in this platform would be a huge shock for her haha.* Gosh I have a lot to say yet I supposed I should shut up for now, **See there's a lot of changes happens when we got old, the thing that we used to believed we would be when we were just a child is now changed, not everything we thought for life when we are just a child would happen the way it is, people getting older everyday, and everything changed even if it's a mundane one,** ***Not everything will follow according to your plan,*** Go embrace changes yet remember that you shouldn't loose your control and you won't forget who you are back then and now. It's just a matter of changes and adjustments. That would be it for now, gosh it's still early in the morning and this is me writing this one, I woke up so early and I found myself looking for some will to be productive and ended up scrolling to my tiktok account and find this question, so I decided to just make this as my content for today hahaha, at least I have something to write on, and not waste my time looking up at the ceiling and just waiting for the sun to rise, gosh my sleeping schedule is a messed, I go to bed so late and woke up so early, it's hard to fix my body clock again hahah but I'm trying to, since school will soon to starts again haha. Lead image source: https://weheartit.com/entry/296109380 Image source: https://www.tumgir.com/tag/alcohol%20aesthetic https://twitter.com/jencensored/status/1377176872010719235 https://www.pinterest.com/trinitigerlilly/writer-aesthetic/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/629659591637827629/ https://www.esinationwide.com/civil-engineering-before-computers.php Oh by the way, good morning and happy Thursday everyone, have your breakfast and go enjoy the rest of the day, keep safe and stay hydrated as always, enjoy:-)

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@MidnightSky 14 September 2022

Life will continue to pass you by, so you should... *~~"You are not getting younger, you should find someone to get married with"~~* Oh screw this lines, it's your life to live, don't be so nanny on yourself, people will always have a say, and what's their problem if you aren't in any romantic relationship, you are you, romance is not always having a partner, or getting married, romance is everywhere and it's up to us on how we should deal with it, The title of this should be *****"ROMANTICIZED YOUR LIFE"***** A lot of people says that it's so romantic to be with someone, yet for me this is cliché, we don't need to wait for someone for that romance to happen, often times, life feels like a mundane but we shouldn't be taking it as it is, romanticized it, appreciate those little things, admire the minimalism of this life, find the beauty of every moments may could be a normal days or even in the midst of difficulties, find positivity on every negativity, bring some extra beauty on everything, This expedition shouldn't be boring as it is, make every simple things in life as your escape, make your everydays unique and worth remembering. You could start by waking up in the morning and preparing meals for yourself, garnishing your food, brew a coffee and smell the aroma that lingers in your kitchen, imagine like you're in a story, romanticized the morning having your breakfast even you are alone, don't be too tight on yourself, be creative on your own, because life should be always taken seriously, you might regret not doing things with a little bit of creativity, fun and excitement... ***Fall in love with your life again, fall in love with yourself,*** There's a lot to romanticized for that this life may offer, those things that we go unnoticed everyday, like... Sitting at your couch close to your window every morning, feeling the cold breeze hitting your face, while having a warm coffee, and just yourself feeling at peace, no words to say, a quite and calming silence, just your breathing and the noise from the nature that feels therapeutic envelopes you, Or it could be, having a late night walk, headphones on, playing your made up playlist, feeling the vibe, and the light of the stars, and the moon, adds up the aesthetic beauty of the moment, or could be those city lights that spice the night, Friends hangouts that feels like it's the last time, enjoying stuffs, having sleepovers, hooked up on watching marathons, buying delivery foods, wearing pj's, Study with instrumental music playing at your background, Sitting on a bus ride near the window, wearing your earphones, feeling like you're in some kind of a movie where you are the main character, Visiting places, exploring things, having walks in park, drinking wine at a stressful night, watching city lights, going on a roof top for fresh air, admiring the scenery of the city at night, going for a jog, having coffee dates with yourself or with your friends, ***You see it's all those simple things that matter the most.*** You don't need a romantic someone to feel the romance, you can be romantic on your own, you can live this life like a romance that you want even without really have a person to rely this feeling onto, I mean enjoy your life, romanticized it the way you wanted, don't settle or don't waste your time waiting for a romatic person just to feel that romance, because it's you whom you, yourself is whom you're waiting for, ***Be the main character in your own fairytale, you can live your life as you wanted it to be, this lifetime is too short to just stays in comfort of waiting for people to give your needs, oh, come on wake up, you are the main character, the leading lady or the leading man in this story of yours,*** **Treat this world like your own kingdom, be a kindsoul to anyone, enjoy every single day romanticizing things that makes that lips of yours curved into a cresent smile.** That would be it for now, I'm here sitting at the couch waiting for the clock to hits on 11 pm since I'm going to some errands today, gosh I hate going out at this hour because the heat from the sun feels like burning me alive in a huge fireplace hahaha, kidding it's just a sunheat and I'm dora the explorer hahaha gosh, oh yeah please bare with my craziness after getting on so serious with the topic on this article and then go back being a cringed clown person every ending of articles hahha, and now I'm so talkative so I will shut my mouth off now haha. Lead Image source: https://stock.adobe.com/tr/images/feeling-free-female-holding-a-silk-cloth-blowing-in-the-wind/151125390 Image source: http://www.modachicago.org/blog/2020/1/19/ways-to-romanticize-your-life https://www.tumpik.com/tag/romanticizing%20school https://www.elonedge.com/blog/2022/2/7/the-benefits-of-romanticizing-your-life https://favim.com/image/6674468/ https://www.pinterest.com/budderis_epic/rainy-cafe/ By the way have a great day to all, Happy Wednesday, God bless us all, enjoy the rest of the day my dearest skies, keep safe and always stay hydrated, enjoy:-)

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@MidnightSky 12 September 2022

Life present a lot of questioning A series of inquiries starts to pop up onto people's mind from the day they started to think and see the vast of miseries that this world has to show upon us, we tend to get curious and by that we started to seek for answers in every question, and in everything that seems like in needs for a wise and precise explanation to express and be understand by our own perceptions, Living every single day we started to questions stuffs that get us into finding the truth and answers, humans are bound to live this life on exploring and seeking answers on everything they got curious to, life itself has full of questions, everything under the sun has a lot to seek an answer for. People's vision isn't enough to satisfy one's curiosity, and for that people started to explore, wondered, and wanting for an experience just to proove and believed that their inquiry is already answered. Broadening our perspective or looking for a bigger picture on this life can enhance our ability on living this lifetime, I believe that if we just look for a narrow or just an angle in life we could be blind or we couldn't have the chance to see another opinions, another ideas, another angles that can help us on our growth. Seeking for a broaden point of view in life can makes us more knowledgable, illiterate and much more learned and wiser individual. Life is too short to focus on just one time thing, we need to explore, seeks for answer, and go for a new adventure, wondered on everything that will help broaden our perspective in life and makes this life worth living for. That's why we have philosopy and it's often term as love of wisdom because it talks about the understanding and essence of life which gives us wisdom to learn about life, it is called love of wisdom because, it give us the wanting or the need of exploring life and satisfy those curiosity to asnwer those questions. When we love something or someone, it drives us to explore and wanting to posses something that attract us, and wisdom is what we craved for, that's why philosophy helps us to to love the truth behind this life. I'm so fascinated by the facts of how those philosophers contributed on this aspect of life, there theories and curiosity drives us to discover stuffs and also methods about living this lifetime, their stories and experiences that leaved us a lessons and knowledge that enable us to understand the essence of life and also our self and they makes us valued every meaning of this lifetime, from God to mankinds and throught nature that surrounds us. My favorite philosopher is Socrates since his philosophy is very admirable for me, question is answer by another question and so on and so forth, that method which is called as "Socratic method" makes me admired him so much more. ***“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”*** ***-Socrates*** Yes, that's my favorite line of him that I knew in my philosophy class in my highschool days and still its embarked in my mind until now, for me this line means that accept that we know nothing and it's for us to explore and seek for an answer on our questions in mind, so to be more knowledgeable you need to accept that you know nothing and for you to find out, you need to open up yourself and give yourself a chance to captured and learned new things, to go on fkr new adventures, to open up for opportunities, *****And intact in your mind that a series of questions are always present in this life and it's an never ending one, because that just means that this life has always something new to learn and explored.***** I think that would be enough for today's writing, I'm planning on writing a story again, but when I'm in the midst of writing and thinking for the plot, I get so distracted and just stop and yeha I forgot how will I continue ghe story again hahaha, I've noticed this past few days I tend to start things and never have the will to finished it, it's like I go again for the beginning in the middle hahaa and I hate that, oh by the way I have a lot of rants hahah I should stop. I get this topic from helping my cousin in his activity haha gosh so I'm a tutor na kidding hahaa I help him because he will cook food for me haha. Lead image source: https://stock.adobe.com/sk/search/images?k=neon+question+mark Image source: https://www.freepik.com/premium-vector/neon-question-mark-hands-concept-design-technology-vector-illustration_19611123.htm https://quoteflick.com/quotes-about-exploring/ https://www.quotemaster.org/Questioning https://www.quotemaster.org/ask+questions Have a great day everyone, Happy Tuesday to all, I have some errand to do this whole day so might as post this as early as possible, this me trying not to be so lazy haha kidding I'll just go with my mother sisnce I asked her to go with me on buying stuffs hahaha, stay safe my dearest skies, stay hydrated as always. Enjoy:-)

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@MidnightSky 12 September 2022

A letter from a stranger *Hi there fella, I know we don't know each other, and I think that's it's much better for us to stay this way , I mean it's comfortable to rant and tell our worries and problems to a random stranger isn't it? So make yourself comfortable, breathe in, breathe out, disentangle those grips that keeps on restraining those emotions and feelings,* *First of all, I want to ask how are you? Still trying? Tired? Left out? Fine? Or just existing?* *I can't stop you from feeling that, I won't and ver stops you, fell that pain until you get numb or until the lesson that the pain gives wil be tainted on your mind, I won't comfort you, I'm just here saying all of this for you to not hide it anymore, don't put youraelf in a box where there's a huge lump on your throat that loneliness started to eating you alive.* *Now is not the time to keep on holding back, however, right now, take this as a time to let it all out, the burdens, the weights, frustrations, emotions, that your are feeling in, it's time to let it hurts until you can stand again, until the pains are no longer hurting, until the wounds became scars, until it heals,* *Now is the time to let yourself in pain, let yourself be sad, let yourself in the chaos, let yourself became messy, those problems that makes you think to yourself that your a losse, that can make you feel so low on yourself, could be at work, school, family, or anything under the sun,* *Cry if you want, let your tears flow, scream if you want, shout it the void if it could help to lessen the weights, do all stuffs that could help to make you feel those frustrations, let it all consumes you until you get tired...* *But after all of this, promised to yourself that you will make it up, you'll try to bring back and get up on your toes again, go back on track again, after those emotional chaos that happens, I hope you'll get the closure you need to yourself, I hope that you heal from the pain not for others, not to prove to people that you can, but heal for your own good, for your better future that awaits, because your are worth it, and saving your own is worth it.* *Sometimes pain is much lighter if you feel it once in a while, you need to released it, cause if you don't and you just keep on restraining and filling it with another ounces of pain, and when it's already at it's peak, it might cause you a much more greater pain and chaos, and I don't want you to be in that situation, because you doesn't deserved it, you deserved every kindness and love that this life may offer,* *You need to give your heart a time to heal until you become you again, until you accept that all this challenges and suffering that happens in your life shall passed and you'll find your happiness again, and one day you'll look back on those days that you thought you lose all the hope, and you'll smile to yourself because you know that it's just bound to happen at all, because that makes you stronger and makes you a much more better individual today.* *This is a simple message from a mere stranger, a random soul, and I hope this somehow lessen those feelings you keep on weighing on your back, or if maybe it will not lessen, but atleast that even for a short moment of time you feel free and lighter, and just you,* *Remember that crying is good for the soul, and this will never be the sign of weakness instead it's a sign of bravery that you somehows knows that crying and showing your weakpoints is not that bad, it just shows that you are a human, you are a person, you feel pain and it's normal.* *So again, this is for your own risk, it's still up to you how will you handle yourself in the midst of chaos, I'm just a mere stranger, that can be your umbrella in the midst of your own rainy days, virtual hugs to all...* *Remember that be proud of who you are right now even after all you have been through at the hands of this vast of miseries that this world offers.* ***Yours truly, Sky.*** That's it for now guys I felt like I need to write this one not just for everyone who reads this but it also calms me somehow, and the comfort I get in writing this one is enough, it actually helps a lot. Good morning, let's go back to sleep again hahaha kidding, I'm a sleepy head indeed. Lead Image source: https://depositphotos.com/stock-photos/dark-academia.html Image source: https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vectors/aesthetic-letter-vectors https://www.pinterest.com/pin/379006124901089217/ https://www.pexels.com/search/sad%20girl/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/how-to-boost-your-selfesteem-on-we-heart-it--145311525464470041/ Oh by the way have a nice day to all, Happy Monday everyone, enjoy the rest of the day, keep yourself safe and always stay hydrated as always. Enjoy guys:-)

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@MidnightSky 11 September 2022

Different version of yourself for different people *Isn't it facade?* *Isn't it veracious?* *Isn't it real?* *But why does it seems so natural?* A notion that runs up onto my mind that suit an inquiry within myself, ***"Why does it I often feel like I'm a different me when it comes to different people? like there's this different version of me when I'm alone, there's this different version of me when I'm with my friends, there's this different version of me when I'm with my family, there's this different version of me when I'm with strangers, etc. "*** I noticed that humans tend to have different version of themselves depends on whom they are with... And also if you have a different version of yourself when you are with them, of course maybe there's a possibility that they also have different version of you in their mind... ***We aren't the same person to our friends and families,*** ***We aren't the same person to our acquaintances and colleagues,*** ***We aren't the same person to everyone and to ourselves,*** But it just comes so naturally to us, we tend to find a better and accurate version of ourselves when it comes to dealing with other people, we tend to observed or maybe we study and carefully learn on what version of us should be present on that person, it's like we mirrored them... Even I myself noticed that everytime I'm engaging to various people, I act accordingly depends on whom they are... When I'm with my Family, I see the version of me as a hard headed but sweet and caring daughter, this version of me just go naturally when I'm with them, like I supposed to behave, my actions screams a good behavior of a daughter, respectful and I found myself not sharing my problems to my family, yes I do feel comfortable with them but when it comes to opening up my emotional chaotic notions my mouth is already zipped, When I'm with my Friends, I see the version of me as a jolly and a really annoying however a caring and sweet one, I behave so childishly, it just so comfortable to feel annoying when I'm with them, I laugh, I curse, and those words that I didn't speaks when I'm with my family just rolled out to my tongue so naturally, its like this version of me is just so much more of a liberated one, When I'm with a stranger, I behave, I still contemplates on how should I approach them, I started to observed and mirror their actions so that I can find a common ground just to be comfortable on their presence, this version of me is a sheepish one, And when I'm with myself, I know who I am so that's my favorite and the best version of me, that's the legitimate, no contemplation, no facades, no observation or etc. Just me, the usual me when I'm alone, the best version where I find my own solace, no judgements and just myself. See it's just amazed me how come we behave like this to people, maybe the thought of wanting them to like you, or maybe you just want them to feel comfortable or you want yourself to feel comfortable when you are with them, it's like you're actions should be limited depends on whom you are with, that's somehow amazed how come people unconsciously bring out different version of you that even yourself doesn't no they exist, Isn't it it fascinating how our mind works, like we had this many version of ourselves, and we still have more to meet and know... *This is great actually but for some reason, we should always put our self first, because to many version of you can loose your sense of self, too much worries on how people will see us coild cause chaos withing you, so as much as possible, be yourself and that's the best version you will ever get.* That's it for today, hope you all had a rest or a bonding with your dear ones since it's Sunday, gosh I'm still in my bed until now I just took a shower, eat, and go back to bed again haha, and I bet on myself that I would just sleep again after I had my meals later haha I'm too sleepy these past few days, maybe it's my lack of sleep, it's so hard to get back on track, however much harder to go back and fix my body clocks, arghh I hate this time of my life again where I found comfort on having no willingness to even be productive even just for a day, now I'm sulking again for no reason haha or maybe this is just the result of lacking of some sleep, then endless sleepless night even though I'm still on my term break haha... Lead Image source: https://medium.com/the-innovation/are-there-many-possible-versions-of-you-ea6930729473 Image source: https://steemit.com/movies/@jsonknightlee/a-different-version-of-you-exists-in-the-minds-of-everyone-who-knows-you https://aeon.co/amp/essays/is-the-many-worlds-hypothesis-just-a-fantasy By the way, I had a lot to say but let's just end this here for now, have a great day to all, Happy Sunday, keep safe, and stay hydrsted as always. Enjoy the rest of the night my dearest skies:-)

@MidnightSky 10 September 2022

Is goodbyes easier than forgiveness? In any facet of my life, forgiving scares me the most, it's like risking yourself again for chances that you are no longer sure of, those trust that will never be the same whole again, it's like satisfying a person to feel lighted on what they did, call me the worst person but I think I can't trust and forgive people who once done awful things to me, maybe saying goodbye is much better than forgiving. I admit that forgiving is one of my weaknesses, I preferred the path that is easier for me, I preferred the comfort I found in goodbyes than giving chances...Yes you can say that you can both forgive while saying goodbye, yet it's not for me... People says that walking away on something or someone is the hardest thing to do, however it's different for me, if you asked me if goodbye is harder? Then I tell you that it's much easier than forgiving, Goodbyes are my emergency exit, when things go wrong, and everything seems like falling apart, and it feels like chaos are all over the surrounding, that it's getting overwhelming as days go by, then goodbye is the easiest way for me to do, Sometimes it's easy to allow ourselves to just runaway from responsibilities, from burdens, from problems that swallowing us alive. For me saying goodbye is a mark of something that I felt like I need to get over, yet I know that it somehow became my toxic trait, walking out when I can't handle the pressure anymore, walking out without explaining, walking out without even saying things, walking out and never bothered to ask for closures, cause as a human I am, I go on path that I think would be easy for me than risking things I'm not sure of, I tend to shut-off people when insecurities and problems started to envelope my existence and that's when I go for goodbyes... Maybe I have this pinned idea in my mind that if I say goodbye it means that it's all over, I'm getting over on emotional chaos, I'm putting an end on everything, cutting connections, saying goodbye to anything that causes me chained and doesn't deserve to be given a space in my life. Cause I believe that walking away for good is much easier than forgiving people because its scares me to forgive because sometimes when I forgive it means that chances are to be followed and I'm not that harsh to take away that from them but it's myself that I'm torturing when I did that, so I just go for the safest and easiest way that I'm comfortable on doing, toxic yet I think it's somehow comforts me. Saying goodbye for me is like finding myself for another room of my own solace, and taking away the people who doesn't deserved to be part of it is much easier, without wasting time, I know it's difficult but trusting is not on my forte so as much as possible goodbyes are the path that I took. When I was a pure innocent child back then, I used to believed on second chances until now but the difference is I'm afraid on giving that, it's like putting back again the broken pieces of a figurine just to satisfy someone yet it will never change a thing that it once had cracked and will never be the same, it's hard to fixing it and putting it all back together so instead of fixing it I will just throw it away and leave it all behind because it's much easier, and although at firs, it's painful and difficut to walk away from that, yet times will make it heal and forget and you'll just realized that it's just been part of the past now, and the weights are much lighter than before. The irony of walking away and saying goodbyes just amazed me, to be honest at first it's can be awful yet the amount of time you walks aways makes you feel light hearted because goodbye for me means a lot and it will last. Maybe I'm too good on goodbyes... Kidding haha. That's it for now, maybe one day I could learn to finally forgive that runaways and will accept that sometimes it's okay to forgive and face things not just go walk away without even thinking or wanting on fixing it. Not everything could be solve by a goodbye, be man enough to fix it, have closure on things, it's for the betterment and to be honest it lessen the burden that we weighted on ourselves. Lead Image source: https://juliemartina.medium.com/forgiveness-without-reconciliation-2cf55b16f6b Image source: https://www.pinterest.co.kr/pin/1125968648237896/ https://www.walkingtheshoreline.com/5-reasons-forgiveness-is-so-hard/ https://weheartit.com/pictures/loneliness?landing=false&page=3&before=322857630 http://www.borntobloom.today/unforgiveness-big-baggage/ Have a great day my dearest skies, how was your day so far? Weekend really makes me go in a great mood, gosh I will go to my cousin's house and have a bonding with them cause I missed them so much haha even though we just last saw each other last Wednesday night haha, oh by the way enjoy the rest of the day guys, happy weekend, keep safe and always stay hydrated. Enjoy:-)

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@MidnightSky 9 September 2022

I wish there is a shortcut to where you are ***"In the blink of an eye, I never got to say goodbye"*** This libretto from the song that can be heard by now in this four corners of our place, this one hits me and now I'm longing for someone that I really missed and wishing that I could go back in time where I could spend my simple afternoon like this with her, having a random conversation and a cup of coffee with laughters echoing at this room... I missed her, I missed the person that gives me so much time, love, care that I needed back then, my safety person, my solace and my bestfriend, I missed my aunt, I know back then I wrote something about her on my past articles l, I just read it last time and the emotions never change it still the same longing and hurt, tears clouded the corner of my eyes, even with a smile on my face I still can't stop thinking and missing her, I just... I want her to talk to me, or maybe visit me even in my dreams, I know this is a normal feeling and it hards specially when there's this moment that you are supposedly doing stuffs with that person that is now no longer in this lifetime, and the void of emotions just eating you alive and you can't do anything just to look at those old photographs and look back on those moments that you're with them... And honestly it's not helpful because it just put more on wanting to be with them again like it used to before... You know the ***pain of leaving without saying a goodbye...*** That's a torture and I know that's just life is but the pain of leaving permanently without bidding goodbyes, and just a blink of an eye, they are no longer at the place you are breathing in, and you can't find the right words to say and just cry... ***There's this times where you will just suddenly wanted to hear their voices,*** ***Their laughters,*** ***Their talks,*** ***You wanted to see their smile, and the sudden crease on their forehead when they are so serious on something...*** ***You just miss their advices, their jokes, your moments with them,*** You just missed their presence beside you, yet it will never be the same again because they are now gone and acceptance is the only way to move forward however we know that they are always be there for us even we can't see them, they can see us from a far and I know they will just be there guiding us... And I know that one day you'll be reunite again... I don't need comforts and assurance from other people when it comes to this kind of feeling but if they did, then I'll appreciate it, but its the best that they just dont need to talk about it, I just wanted to let this all out again in my writing, I don't know and I don't like opening up this kind of emotions to any people even with my family, I tend to shut them out and I know they understand that, still I'm grateful for them... ***I know this may sound cliché yet cherished every moment with your love ones no matter what happens, because we don't know what life would will brought us, so love them, give time, take care of them, and always makes them feel your love, because no one knows when you're gonna see them last...*** ***To my aunt,*** *A simple letter from you, I love you and missed you so much, I missed our moments and bond together, you are my partner in crime, when my parents nags me you're my shield and savior, you spoiled me so I was used to being like that hehez love you aunt, I hope you're doing well, I'm listening to the song and that's put salt on my wounds again... The lyrics just so heart wrenching, hope I'll see you in my dreams so that I could gave you a big hug, I really missed you...take care and see we will reunite one day.* Just like these lyrics of the song... ***"You were always there, Like a shining light, On my darkest days, You were there to guide me, Oh I miss you now"*** ***I missed you and I love you my dearest angel.*** That will be all for now, this feeling shall passed I hope we all be feed those hunger of longing that often visits us on the unexpected days on the unexpected time, may we be with someone presence again in another lifetime, this longing and missing is a part of life but always remember that we shouldn't be taking it as a hinder to pursuing and going on with our life, parting is sometimes the best way for us to growth as a better individual... This is those times where I called it soft hours, I'm just here at my mom's favorite couch, having a coffee at midst of this hot afternoon, while the speakers play my playlist and now I'm currently listening to gone to soon by simple plan and the lyrics just relates me while writing this one... Lead Image source: https://www.yourtango.com/2020333666/quotes-about-loss-of-loved-one Image source: https://www.sympathymessageideas.com/quotes-about-losing-a-loved-one/ https://www.pinterest.com/lonelyblackk/my-aesthetic/ https://www.pinterest.com/lonelyblackk/my-aesthetic/ Oh enough with emotional moments hehez happy Thursday my dearest skies, hope you all enjoying your day, take care and alaways keep yourself hydrated, enjoy the rest of the day guys:-)

@MidnightSky 7 September 2022

Who need it the most? The equilibrium that we requisite to offer the satisfaction and comfort for oneself is the concession or the apology that we must manifest in order to live in peace and tranquility of life, One must know how to apologize, say sorry and feel sorry for something we've done wrong, could be those people that we hurt, those we cause pain on their lives, or anything that is below the moral standards that we did that bring us shame on ourselves, an excruciating feeling that often keeps you distracted, diverted, and preoccupied, because there's this unwelcoming and uncomfortable feeling when we know we've done wrong on people and we didn't do anything to correct it, After we apologized sincerely, it's not done, and will never be done unless you go to one person and that's when you realized after you talk to that person, you will feel the light air, the mood becomes less heavy, and it feels like a fresh starts, a beginning in the middle of the book, and you know who's that person is... Maybe we are busy going on with our life, giving and taking chances, giving apology, taking good care of everyone, grateful for someone, enjoying everything and give and give until you can, but then there's SOMEONE you always forgot, Someone that is always been with you from the beginning, Someone who never leaves and stays in rainbow or in chaos, Someone who will always be willing to help you, support you, and walking with you through the vast of mysteries that this lifetime had... And that someoje is the person that you need to give an apology for, for you to fully accept and forgive... ***"I apologize..."*** ***"my mistake..."*** ***"my bad..."*** ***"this is all my fault..."*** ***"I'm sorry..."*** Those words that deep-rooted on ones mind, those words that oneself always wanted to hear, the sincerity on those simple words.. Who need it the most? This kinda sucks and a very emotional of me but this one shall be written in these moment, I need it so I could go back and re-read it when I'm tired and loosing it all again so here I am apologizing... To one who needed this apology the most, yes that is you *****SELF...***** *To all many things that I'm sorry for, the one thing that I forgot and often ignore is giving an apology to myself,* *Sorry that I don't give you much time, when I should be the one who spoils you a lot,* *Sorry I often hurt you, when I should be the one who needs to protect you and shield you from any harm,* *Sorry if I prioritize others before you, even when the times that I know you feel like giving up because there nk one to hold on to, I should be the one who supports you sll the way through but instead I ignored you* *Sorry if I failed to notice your wounds that becomes scars, I let it heal on their own without me realizing that it starts to closed their walls not letting me in,* *Sorry if I choose to be blind rather than wipes those tears that slowly dripping in your eyes, I should be the one who wipes it, instead I became the reason behind those tears,* *Sorry for forcing you in facade, I became selfish to you self, I take you for granted, I let you masked up the truth just to please others, just to love by others, just to be look so fine and great,* *Sorry for those forces laugh and smiles that doesn't reach your eyes, I know it hard yet you somewhow manage to done it like it's natural,* *Sorry if I didn't let you heal that I choose to leave you behind that I loose you in order to find others,* *Sorry if I don't know how to put you asleep but instead I let you cry in silence as the world is half asleep where the only you can feel and hear is the pain between your tears* *I have a lot of burden that I put on you,* *Self, I'm so sorry because I don't take care of you the way I take care of others,* *Sorry if I don't comforted you and be your own shoulder to lean on when lifes are getting tougher, I should be the your solace not your chaos,* *Sorry if I dont give you my attention,* *Sorry if I love you less than you deserved,* *I have learned that before everything else , you're the first one that I needed to be on my top priority* *You should be the first one I need to given my time,* *The first one that I should be taken care of,* *The first one to give my love,* *The first one that I will should be always need to choose,* *Maybe I can't promised that I will never hurt you again but I will do my best not to fail you and make you feel the same pain on your own again,* *I love you so much self, that I'm asking for an apology, for us to both heal from his fresh wounds that already fogotten, and I knew that it needs to be healed.* Sometimes we are so overwhelmed on the presence of the surroundings, the adrenaline, the hapoy moments, the painful one, the laughter, the tears, greetings and apologies, however what we can't see is ourselves, what we often forget is ourselves, the one person that will always cherished us and help us through our growth, sometimes it's hard to forgive ouselves on the pains that we caused, but an apology will do, it's all for the best, apology acceoted, saying sorry is not that bad, it means that we are admitting that we've done something and asking for forgiveness is the one thing we should be doing first and also always remember, actions must always in tge present, actions speaks louder than words, make sure that your alology is not just a baseless talk just for you to be satisfied, make sure that it's sincere and taken out from the heart, a true one. That is when we can finally breathe again without burdens and heavies from the past. That's it for now, I'm currently in the mood on writing again maybe I'll catch up, I'm in this scenario of my life again where I just want to write down my notions that somehow lessen my worries and contemplations, maybe I could heal through this, I'm sure everything will be back again, maybe I left just to be find, however this could be the start of my runabout emotions and thought, bare with me my dearest skies I'm an emotional wrecked for sometimes and it's normal hehez, Lead Image source: https://intrepidtimes.com/the-rejection-report/ Image source: https://liveinthedetails.tumblr.com/post/187919462386/dear-self-im-sorry-for-all-the-times-i-have-put/amp https://quotesndnotes.tumblr.com/post/668484557291536384/dear-self-sorry-for-breaking-you-for-others/amp Have a great day to all my dears, happy Wednesday, enjoy your day, take care, keep safe, and alwaya keep yourself hydrated, enjoy the rest of the day guys :-)

@MidnightSky 6 September 2022

Bygone opportunity *****"I'm nervous"***** hands are sweaty while looking at the glass wall at the waiting line... *****"What if I stutter?"***** overthinking and fidgeting at the seat, shaky hands and the rise of heartbeats... *****"What if I'll just embarrass myself"***** can't focus on the surrounding because of never ending what if and make up questions that clouded in one's mind... *****"what if-"***** I was cut of by my friend saying... *****"Oh enough with those what ifs and it's normal to feel that way, it's interview okay not jusgements so staught yourself up, be confident and smile what ever happens, the important is you did your best, so stop sulking... Okay?"***** he told me and held my back slolwy caress it to give comfort and assurance that everything will be okay... *****"I hope I makes one way through this one"***** a smile curved into his faced befor we separate our ways and go to designated rooms for interview in applying int his company,.. Story time, hello my dearest skies, I came back from dead kidding hahaha I just got busy these past weeks or maybe months, I failed to update here but it's okay I think it's one of those days that i failed to get back on track and just shrugged stuffs again... My apology I missed you all... So here we go I have something to tell since I'm here, I tried to apply as a bpo agent, I get lucky and I passed but I'll tell you the back story because it's so unbelievable and felt bad to my accomoany so I'll just need to share it here since I'm holding it back and it gets full so here... Tueday morning last week I get a message to my bestfriend to go accompany him to apply on bpovs company so I go with him but he also told me that I should print my resume also so I did, I had no idea while walking at the building I sit at the waiting area and let my best friend go to the one who's responsible for interviews, I decided I'll wait him in this sit at waiting area but he shrugged and get my arm so that I'll go with him, and that's when the interviewee get me a number and I was like oh my gosh how will I answer, it's not our plan to go eith him in interviews, he said that I'll just accompany him so yeah wha csn I fo and just give this a shot... I'm so afraid and nervous gosh because I'm bot ready but still my bestfriend comforted me while laughing at my situation that moment because he planned it all along I knew to his face that he wanted me to hire so that we clukd be workmates and he will nkt be alone, and that as my ego talks I don't let myself get embarrassed even I'm not ready to this one still, I confidently answered their questions straight english laguage whahaha and that's in I get my emailed results that I passed but my parents doesnt know about it and they dkesnt want me to get stress while studying sk work could wait is there moto... So I declined the opportunity and it kills me somehow because its one of my list opportunitues I let go... Yet I'm sad for my bestfriend because he doesnt get in yet I myself get hired but doesn't continue that, but i guess I should be trying that but it's the end of time I looke up and decided to done other things tham this new opportunity, I feel sorry for him yet I comforted him that we need to apply again yet he wanted me to continue yet I fully decided that I'll focus on my self and studies for now and working can wait... That's it, I'll tell you if I found a job again that I really wanted because I can't see myself working at bpo's company I'm not the same person who use to love people and socials yet I started to find comfort at walls I built and I'm still regaining myself and as the part of process I will tried to work on job that I want not the job that I'm just forced to, Still a little regrets because it still an opportunity but theres lot of next time as they said... Did you also experience these kind of feeling where you regretted your decision but you thought it's for thw best, sometimes I felt like I'm just denying and avoiding things that will get me out of my comfort zone I was just so in denial and afraid to get out of my safe zone and try new stuffs, I don't know what happened to me I lost interest on things, my old self would be disappointed if she knew this new version of me that's so aloof and often not in usual self, I just want to behave my self and not try again another things, gosh I hate this I need to think of something again, I need to get of this comfort zone that I knew that if my stays her get longer I will be a scaredy cat again gosh and I hate that, so I'll be back and fix this hehez.... **Have a great day everyone, it's rainy season, and I found myself lying at my mother's couch and just watching movies haha I'm so lazy as hell again... I'm just enjoying the remaining days of this term break okay haha,** lead Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/288441551128545725/ Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/498281146275576481/ https://www.ourmindfullife.com/toxic-relationships-recovery-quotes/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/mental-paradox--794392821769678353/ **By the way have a great day, take care, stay safe and always keep yourself hydrated.**

@MidnightSky 22 August 2022

Forthcoming Talks Isn't it a substantial feeling when a sudden brought up of matureness in a talk between two persona, like you felt so raw, so pure, and just so simple yet the familiarity of feelings it grant us is just so unexplainable, and the sudden realization hits you, you saw yourself just sutting tor maybe standing there with someone so genuinely excited about your future together and there you both smiling and picturing those talks about those predictions and goals you want for your future. I have a tenderness and overwhelming feeling while writing this one, I'm just enjoying my semestral break without thinking of anything, yet somehow I missed my bestfriend and I've got an idea to have time visiting her, but when I messaged her, she said she's not on their home since she got some errands to do, so I decided to wait until she got home, and after a hundred years of waiting hahha okay I'm exaggerating hahaha since she know that I'm very impatient one haha, I go to their home and spend my whole afternoon there when she came home with wine of course my bestie is just so addicted on buying wines, she actually invited me on a wine tasting event before, I don't quite remember but yeah it's an amzing experience hahhaa okay let's go back to the topic hahah actually I just got home and decided to write this one, So I had a talk with her about stuffs and I don't know the sudden change of topic into a mature one since I'm just scrolling on tiktok app and I foubd a video there about bestfriends having their own life together, I immediately thought of us living together, actually we already planned it before, that after we graduate and have a job we will be planning to live get an apartment and live there together of course we have our own plans for each other yet that plan is for the both of us, hahaha imagine living with your favorite person except to your family is such a wondeful feeling, we don't need to rush stuffs just to have time meeting with each other to have some catch up because ***the idea of going home to your best person is just feels so great and felt just like home***, This picture somehow relates on what we wanted both hahaha... We are just like speaking the same language we want to our wanting on our future, we are just in her room talking random stuffs about future and just by that it feels like we are riding on a same wavelength, we had a lot of dreams, goals that we wanted to achieve, and we are currently taking on our baby steps towards that goals... We are now looking forward to have our first out of the town trip together, however we just have some problem on our schedules since we have different schedules on school haha so maybe after we graduate or before we can execute that, we have the same motto on "don't doubt, just do", "YOLO", we enjoy last month going on a concert together haha it's just so fun, and the after party is just so amazing yet the hangover is also amazing hahah kidding. We both knows each others flaws and shortcoming yet the idea of being with each others back on our future is such a great thing, We walk on a tight rope together, and the idea of waking up with the same annoying face is what I want, the late night walks, the dinner that seems like we had a feast to attend, and we can be both lazy together on weekends hahaha, gosh I'm so excited on what our future holds but for nkw maybe we just need to enjoy things and go work hard for our need and wants to come, I'm hoping that this will all come true whatever it takes because in criminal laws we don't say we want that even if its wrong but instead we says that we will take it by means of force, threat, or intimidation with intent to gain against its will hahaha... Ipipilit natin whatever happens... ***Maybe soulmates really doesn't need to be in a form of a romantic relationsip with someone, however I found my soulmate in a form of my bestfriend, my partner in crimes, we are two peas in a pod, my through thick and thin, my favorite person, my home.*** I'm just so happy and comfortable on how we just normally talk about our future, I know something will change, some of it will not happen the way we wanted, yet the memories and the bond will always remains there, and that I lromised to myself not to let anything ruined that one of a kind pure relationship with my bestfriend, maybe today, we can say whatever we plan to our future, however I know for some reason, some of it will be just remain that way yet the feeling of having a simple matured talks like that lighten up the mood, it's really a casual and a normal between me and my best friend, yes, and it feel so great to know that even on some angle we plan different and expect something on what future hold us yet it's feels so great that someone includes you on their future plans. Lead Image source: https://bucketlistjourney.net/best-friend-bucket-list/ Image source: https://www.facebook.com/HansloOfficial/photos/a.396102407538460/917097455438950/?type=3 https://www.theodysseyonline.com/amp/the-ultimate-best-friend-bucket-list-2477480453 https://darlingquote.com/funny-best-friend-quotes/ That's it for now, I will first need to clean up since I had myself rest before taking a shower again hahaha I'm getting used on showering before going to bed, I just found it refreshing and it's helps me to have a goodnight sleep, oh well that it for tonight my dearest skies, thank you for reading, spend the rest of night well and nice, have goodnight everyone, sleep well , stay hydrated, and always keep yourself hydrated. Enjoy!

@MidnightSky 17 August 2022

One of those Phantom rain drops We all have those almosts in this life, those almosts are actually those that we did enjoyed the most yet ironically also the one who tainted us the pain and give chaos to the idea of hoping, it just gives us the feels of unexpected twists that strike our beliefs and almost are always followed by disappointments... Ever heard of that word *****phantom rain*****? Well if you don't then, let me just tell you in a simple scientific explanation, ***phantom rain is just a rain drop coming from the clouds that never had a chance to hit the surface***, it's more like on the process of evaporation. So yeah being so curious I thought of that phantom rain last night since I read somewhere the meaning of it and I decided to make it as a metaphor of people being so close yet doesn't give a chance to experienced to be catched. Yes, I know some of us is like one of those rain drops of a phantom rain, ***we had the chance to fall, to take the risk of falling, however it leads to nothing but dissapointments because of tons of reason that we still denied...*** As for me the, I considered myself as those one of the phantom raindrops, I'm sure about my feelings, I'm sure that I'm already falling and developing those weird feelings that I'm not familiar with for one specific person, it's crazy isn't it, even though the idea of being convinced about how I feel towards one person, I still can't blame myself for not saying it, People says that I'm shy on admitting or expressing my fondness towards that person, yet they are wrong, because when realization hits me, ***I realized that I'm not a sheepish type, I'm not timid when it comes to confessing or saying something about how I felt, however the main reason is I'm just afraid...*** *****Afraid to be rejected...***** That's where the ***fear of rejection*** struck me... **Spill the tea time!!!** *So as I was saying on my past articles, I'm eyeing on someone, I said that it's just a friendly thingy yet I'm just indenial and really confused but later on, I realized that this someone makes me really feel just me, just myself when I'm with him, the comfort, the feels, it's just all so normal, and I realized I'm already growing my fondness towards this person...* *And lately I'm enjoying that kind of company, It's just that, I don't know why but with him, I feel comfortable, I feel so me, I don't know or maybe I'm used to being numb for so long now, that I don't even realized that I'm now developing my feeling towards that person,* *I'm beyond grateful to him that he made me felt something that I no longer feeling for a long time yet, it scares the whole me, if I continue this feeling of mine, I felt like I'm ruining a great bond that we are already making, so I decided to set aside those emotions and feelings.* *I'm afraid of seing myself being rejected and that will just put awkwardness and possibly taint the bond that are now growing, a great friendship I think...* So yeah ***sometimes a lesson can be a person***, no matter what we do, it is for us to choose and decide, and I'm choosing the friendship over this unknown feeling, because I thought that it's for the best... ****Sometimes those unspoken truths are the one who makes us weak, those secrets that serves us strength and also our weakness, and it's okay, as long as you still can smile from a far and at least you still have them and nothing change.**** I badly wanted to say this to that person but yeah sadly I wrote this in my notes secretly when I'm with two weeks ago haha gosh and so I have the used of this pala since I've topic the phantom rain hahaha so... *****To my epitome of almost,***** *"I'm just scared to let myself falls to you because the idea of not catching me is scared the hell out of me cause maybe you've got your own umbrella now and that will forbids me to get to you, yet still you're one of my best and worst almost.* *I'm just one of those phantom raindrops that wanted to fall to you, and before even I gotten myself to be near in you, I stop and just evaporate, go with the wind and get back to the clouds"* *-sky* Okay so for all those who read this one, I know you act like those phantom rains and to my advice to all of you who does that, I'm saying that it's your will to choice whatever you think that was the best for you, even if it pains you, or what still ***choose what makes you happy***. Lead Image source: https://wallpaperaccess.com/rainy-aesthetic Image source: https://aesthetichideout.tumblr.com/post/171590011280/loneliness-can-be-beautiful/amp https://music.apple.com/ph/album/are-you-sure-feat-nicole-dollanganger-single/1587022130 Happy Wednesday to all, have a great night, and spend the rest of the night nice and well, enjoy, take care and stay safe, I'm too much on ranting and cringing myself rightnow haha but yeah moving forward is the key, this all shall pass, I need to focus first on my finals tomorrow hahhahaa I really don't have the will to review yet whahah I'll just make scan on my notes hahaha student will always be a student... Bye guyss enjoy, student duty mode on for now hehez God bless us all.

@MidnightSky 15 August 2022

The torment of waiting for someone An anguish feeling we felt when we are waiting for the skepticism of something, It's ironic to forbearingly hang fire on something we are dithering if it will arrive or not, It's a matter of adequacy or anticipation, and only yourself is the one who can decide what's for to settle, either you patiently hanging to the unsure, or just dash ahead and go on start a new beginning with acceptance of the decision that you are finally going to kill the hopes to the uncertainties that you risk waiting for. Well waiting is such a strenuous stuff to do, It's difficult to take the risks of waiting beacuse we doesn't have an assurance or we don't know what would be the result of it, Only the bravest one can wait but it's ironic to say they are brave enought but afraid to the idea of what ifs, What if your most awaited doesn't come, What if you're not the one they choose to, What if you're just nothing but a piece of untangled chain keeping yourself on the hooked even though you're not part of it anymore, even the piece of you that wanting to be part again to someone is just a wish that will never come true, Those what if's that making you doubtful, making your mind full of chaotic notions, And you are torn between letting go or holding on, This world we are living in is full of uncertainties, The art of waiting is the other way around of the art of letting go... Some people thought that they have a lot of things they already let go but there's always one thing they are so scared of freeing, and that thing could be the reason of their strength and also their weakness, If I asked you if it's okay to let go, then I'll be probably says that if it's for the better then let go, and letting go sometimes means freedom, Let go of the hopes, end the long waits, kill those aspiration of waiting to the unsure, Sometimes waiting is the unlabeled torment, making you stuck in the past, stuck in that thing or could be stuck on that specific person, For some reason base on my experience, waiting if like putting yourself inside a box and just wait for that someone to open it up for you to come out, I know that waiting will never be boring if you're willing yet it can be tiring and somehow frustrating, Often time, we need to ask ourselves, why we need to wait for them, why they doesn't choose us, why they leave, why they aren't here, it feels like we are just waiting for the memories that we are longing and not really the people behind it, Mind forgets yet heart will never, and maybe if the time comes that our mind already kill the hopes, the heart will surely go and find it's way to kept the aspiration alive, Solely at the end of the day it's on us to decide if we want to wait and keep holding onto uncertainties or just choose to begin our life without the expectation that your long waits will just end and your serendipity will be met by your eyes again. ***"I'll wait for my serendipity to come home with me"*** *****-sky***** **That's it for now, I felt so cold gosh, this rainy season are getting me more lazy and grumpy, It's ironic that I love cuddle weather but I loath it for some reason since I hate wet surroundings and slippery roads, I have supposed to go out to go to some errands this afternoon yet I canceled it since it's raining cats and dogs.** **I'm more like reading some of the books I downloaded hahaha gosh I really love reading when it comes to non academic stuffs, in conclusion I hate school, I hate acadmeic stress hahaha, I love those who will surely help me in my life because to be honest in my opinion some stuffs teach in schools is really unnecessary.** **Well, maybe that's just it for now, I'm still on my bed hhaha I supposed to do my review papers since I mentioned that we will have our finals tomorrow hahaha but yeah stock knowledge is the key hahha I'm sure I can do it without me minding to read the lectures I asked from my classmate hahaha.** Lead Image source: https://readershook.com/quotes/waiting Image source: https://www.internetpillar.com/waiting-for-love-quotes/ https://favim.com/image/7168296/ https://www.pinterest.com/john_betanc6683/john-r/ https://m.lovethispic.com/amp/blog/49108/sad-quotes-about-life-and-love **Well have a blast tonight everyone, happy Monday again, have your dinner, enjoy the rest of the night, sleepwell and take care and always stay hydrated. Enjoy my dearest skies, goodnight.**

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@MidnightSky 15 August 2022

It just curled and wounded *From a distance, one's soul is pining and longing,* *Patiently bide one's time to be seen,* *Hoping for the retaliation of one's affection,* *The reciprocation that's been anticipated relentlessly* *An endless diurnal affliction, that pours and drowns one's soul,* *Once heart wrenching in pain,* *By the irony of intoxicating smile of yours is a fellow of a breaking point, cause I know the reason of those alluring eyes, those mesmerizing smile that will never be meant to be mine,* *Admiring you from a far with that person you love feels like hugging a rose full of thorns, painful yet beautiful,* *Loving you in a secret way is an exquisite form to destruct my own being,* *You're one of my infinite chaos, one of those greatest portion of my unanswered prayers,* *Loving you is like waiting for a vast of sea to dried up, it's like swimming into the midst of a deep dark ocean without the eloquent of knowing what's waiting at the bottom,* *I tried to block reality in the exchange of being with you in the own reality I created in my head, inside of that fabricated world of mine, You and I are in the same stage, both are mains, we are each others leading partners...* *But faking reality is tiring, so I just decided to face the truth that you and me will be just those people who crosses path but never halt, we are just those strangers, me to you, yet you to me is beyond that, maybe my feelings will always be the stranger to you,* *I held on so tightly to the aspiration of being seen and being love by the person I made as my world, this piece I created is just a diminutive part, but if I'll had a chance to construe my feelings, it would be an endless fit of words...* Well I'm tired everyone, so I'll end it here haha my minds are contemplating if I will finish this one, it's been a long time since I make some piece like this one, this is really about the unrequited love of someone, Well to add more salt to the fresh wound, I want to view and make the perspective of the people who's experience this kind of hurting... I know a range of individuals had experienced being in this kind of situation, and honestly I myself had been in this state, and it's really a no joke for me, I mean, I don't understand the aspect of love, I just don't, no more further explanation... Maybe it's just that I'm just playing around that time without me noticing the feeling of pain from being unseen or being just an invisible and concealed. **Listen here you all folks, I just want to addresses this to all of us who read this one to know your worth, maybe now is not the right time for you to that kind of love, maybe this season is for you to find yourself, know what you wants, achieved your goals, maybe right now is the time for yourself, to just be you, focus on your growth, and one step at a time, and you'll just be unexpectedly realized that one day the love that is right will come its way to find you.** **You are not a weak one, you are not giving up but you just need to let go, you maybe hanging on tight to the love you don't deserve yet I know that someday the right one will sees you, that will go dive deep with you to the vast of miseries, and will be with you in every miles stone.** **Lastly, forgive yourself for adressing your feeling to those people who can't see the value of it, it's not that they are the wrong one, however, you weren't just bound to be together cause the almighty one has a better plan for you, and the thing is, you'll need to forgive yourself for staying longer than you should on a love that chains you into a distress and pain.** **Heal for yourself, free yourself to the burdens of heavy feelings, release some grips, outgrew some weights that you are carrying for a long time now. Find yourself again and guard your heart, and stay where your presence and worth is valued.** **Oh that's maybe enough for this morning, I'm contemplating to post this last night since I really had a busy weekend and I failed to write something, but here we go, I've write this one last night and I don't have the will to finish this piece but yeah, as I said life must go on, we doezneed to put an end to every thing even though I believe that every beautiful thing has to end, still we need to enjoy every bit of it. Finished or unfinished.** Lead image source: https://todaywedate.com/one-sided-love-quotes/ Image source: https://www.rootreport.com/one-sided-love-quotes/ https://love.quotes.tn/love-quotes/28-unrequited-love-quotes-quotes-and-poems/ **Have a great Monday to start the week, please have your breakfast and let's be all productive today, I have tons to do and review papers since we've got to take finals face to face this week so I need to do my responsibility as a student hahha I don't want my mom to nag me again because of my laziness then act like a victim if ever I disappoint myself.** **I have a lot of errands so gonna go bye, take care always and stay hydrated, enjoy the rest of the day my dear skies...**

@MidnightSky 10 August 2022

Glimpse of us ***"Said I'm fine and said I moved on"*** A libretto from this song that makes me speculate and begins to ponder that results in my minds reverie... Who else relate to this song, besides on Katy Perry's song entitled thinking of you, this new song of Joji entitled Glimpse of us has the same vibes... Gosh they are both so red and reallly a bittersweet song that I knew some of you can relate and that includes myself. Ever felt seeing your past love to the eyes of your new lover, it's just a glimpse that could bring you back in time where the sweet and painful scenarios happen from your past with that person... And often time you just wished that this new person with you is the same person you once loved back then, however, yearning is not enough to bring back what was lost, we just need to moved forward even it takes a lot of time... Spilling the tea time!!! So I tweet something on my private twitter account where the the only followers is those significant people, ofcourse my family is an exception gosh I don't want my family to read those dramatic and chaotic happenings about my life, yeah because in my private account is like my own reflection, it mirrors the truth of my thoughts in my everyday existence, so again going back to the topic, I tweeted last few days ago and when I check on my private account last Sunday night, I saw that the person I least expected to see liked my tweet, and seeing that person's name feel like triggered something on me, that makes me felt the familiar emotions I rather not to felt again, ***Longing? Anger? Sad? Happiness? Bitterness?*** Maybe those emotions I don't really know what to address that feeling I felt when I saw that name of that person who liked it, it's been years since we didn't have any interaction, how come I felt this way again... Okay so here's my tweet... I'm surely addresing this to someone who's been making me smile more that I used to since that person is being around with me, it's like I'm admiring this person I'm talking about in this tweet, not like but just admire, I felt comfortable when this person is with me, not romantically but yeah I noticed the bare minimums that I often hate but when that person does that unintentionally, it's just makes me started to appreciate small efforts, or what they call bare minimums, Okay enough with the talks about how I'm so invested with that person I just knew for months now hahaha. I'm just so deeply interested hahaha, So yeah maybe I'm just confused, but yeah the way I saw that person's name again, it makes me want to message and talk to that person again. But lucky me, I have the guts to initiate a conversation hahaha cause unexpectedly I've met that person last Monday night, I go to my friends house since we've got a plan to celebrate and drink ourselves off because there's a fiesta on their brgy. So I go, however, after we got drank, I'm more like a little bit tipsy but I choose to keep my self behave and decided go on for a walk with my friend to sober up but unexpectedly we crossed path to the person who's been circling my mind after the tweet, I act like nothing but this creature of mine called them yeah, that person saw me and look at me, I've automatically look down... Hahaa I avoid that looks duhhh I'm not marupok no. They invited us, I sent my friend a glare to declined but she just smiled and go walk with them, gosh. So to make the story short, we have talks like nothing happens and I know that person is avoiding something when I first initiated it, that ends up asking me about that tweet, If I have a lucky guy na raw ba, hahahaha I just shrugged it off and awkward silence enveloped us haha so I just end our short talk and I was about to accept a stick haha yeah a cigarette to one of my friend since I need to relieved my stress, oh come just for this once, I stopped for a long time na, but this person beside me glared and hit me in my arms, I looked back and just bid my good bye. So I end up going home without waiting for my friend hahha I just message her that I'll go ahead first. ***That person is my safehell hole, not a safe haven, because even it pains me like hell to be with this person still I felt safe, okay clearly enough that person is in a relationship so yeah, we are each other's almost,*** ***"Do I still wish that it was you?"*** This lines from the song put me on the same pedestal again, maybe... *****I'm just finding you in every person I meet, and wishing that it was you who's with me and making memories... but it turns out you became just a memory, a beautiful melancholic episodes that turns out to be an epilogue between us.***** So going back maybe, I just see that person in the eyes of every person I've met, I'm just so in denial. That's the reason why I hate bare minimums, beacuse I don't want to be stuck up in that situation again, *****an option.***** Okay enough with the tea I just want to save this one for me to remember hahha. Lead Image source: https://www.shazam.com/amp/track/616669220/glimpse-of-us Image source: http://trishasambilay.blogspot.com/2013/02/how-to-move-on-process-analysis-essay.html **By the way have nice Wednesday morning everyone, enjoy, and spent the rest of the day with a blast, I'll just rest and sleep since I don't have classes to attend to hahaha goodmornight. Stay safe and always stay hydrated .**

@MidnightSky 9 August 2022

Where the Autumn leave goes? ***Wonders on how this world started to go in daze,*** One time you are just sitting peacefully and highly intoxicated on the triumph you had, yet the next day seems like everything is on the verge of deterioration, it's like you meet the downfall moments, the conquest, the breakdown, the triumph that just collapse in a split of time, and you found yourself getting lost... The non-stop notions that circling your mind that seems so aggravating and makes you a chaotic mess, like no one else wanted you, no one to cry on, no one to hear you out, to ask for a help, to have a shoulder to lean on, it seems that you are alone by yourself not knowing where to go to, not knowing where you want to, not knowing where to place yourself just to escape this feeling you loathed the most, So you started to wonder, you started shut doors to those you think that might hurt you, you just let yourself took the path where they so called destiny let you without any companion It's a bit strenuous feeling everytime you wonder on paths that seems so full of miseries, especially when the only companion you have is your own self, you tried and tried just to find home on every places that you crossed, until you started to realized that no place can make you feel at home, you wanted to go back, but you don't know how, it seems that you traveled so far that you might get lost again on going back, so you just settled on this, being a stubborn and hard headed, not minding everyone and you just focusing on yourself and started to built walls, yes that's the thing you keep on doing... ***Instead of making a home you built high walls so you won't get hurt, so you won't let anything or anyone enters your life again, you are afraid to open up yourself again, to treat them as home again because you are scared...*** And just one day... ***You realized that you don't need a place or someone to feel like home, because you, yourself is your own home, the warmth of being alone is ironic yet you found a peace within you...*** Just like an autumn leave that falls out to its home where it blooms and lived, however all of a sudden became astray on the puff of the breeze, letting itself to be fled by the wind, it's a scary destination, there's so many obstacles to go through Seems a little dreadful to be on an aviation where the pilot is omitted, just your existence is the only companion, afraid that you might get hurt or might be on crashed yet here you are still trying and keep on surviving, you just took those places you go through as your resting one and go and keep on wondering again. **Just one thing for sure that you aren't in your down fall you are just get lost on the comfort, you are used to be on just rainbows and sunshines, and when you meet the rain and storms, you felt so defeated but remember you aren't defeated, you are just lost starts to wondered** **Just like the little autumn leaf, it's really don't just fall, however, it flew and wonder, until the little autumn leaf find it's way home again...** *It's been ages haha kidding maybe months, I don't know, really, I just find myself waking up one morning and tired to even starts to write something, I just wrote on my diary some stuffs I wanted and felt on these past few days but I really stop writing on this site, I just don't have a will also to interacts on socials, I just found myself socializing on people who first to talk to me and not minding to start a conversation on people who firstly doesn't initiate talk on me, maybe I got so busy on some stuffs and also I lessen my screen time and go on focus in my offline world, but here I am decided to come back again on writing, it feels like a fresh start again to me, I missed this... Hehez my apology for being missing in action for months...* *Good afternoon my dearest skies, how are you all? It's been for so long without me interacting here, gosh I missed this, it's just, my schedule are so messed up including how my life is haha kidding but yeah half meant, gosh I miss you all, hehez it's good to be back I hope I go back on my daily track hehez good to be here again...* *So yeah, by the way just wrote this piece of mine very metaphor I think hahaha I'm just a living emotional wreck these past few days so maybe I just go on writing my thoughts here again, so hope you enjoy everyone...* lead image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/unrealistic--422916221236100489/ Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/yumiikoii/black/ https://www.flickr.com/photos/154507842@N04/38260822922 https://quotesgram.com/being-lost-quotes/ http://www.picturequotes.com/sad-quote-about-love-lost-1-picture-quote-610956 *Enjoy the rest of the day my dearest skies, stay safe and keep yourself always hydrated, have a happy Tuesday to all... 🤗*

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@MidnightSky 11 July 2022

My old reversible unsent piece of feeling ****Dear You,**** ***Please stop this unbearable feeling, that I can't explain...*** ***For you I want to be main squeezed*** ***This solicitous feeling of your essence affects my whole existence.*** ***"I can't bare to be with you, I get frustrated to the point of seeing you,"*** ***I know I lied to myself when I say*** ***I like you, I just hate myself from admitting it*** ***It seems like a hook, line, and sinker as it looks like*** ***You doesn't float my boat, yet here you are making me confused at the same time,*** ***You're wrong*** ***You think, I've been smitten with those alluring eyes of yours?*** ***But we can't help who to fell for*** ***I think I'm not the person that's right for you,*** ***I hate you for existing*** ***I supposed to, but I'm to captive by your presence,*** ***I hate you, I loathed you, I want you out of my head and out of my life*** ***You just crashed into my life and that's when I get madly feel stuffs that aren't commonly felt*** ***You ruined the walls I built for years,*** ***Stop this nonsense, I'm tired of hiding this feeling of mine,*** ***Falling for you is an impossible and the least I will do,*** ***Stop saying that,*** ***My life is complete*** ***I tell you this...*** ****-yours truly, G.**** ***Now, this poem I made, as you read it, it feels like that I really loathed this someone but in other perspective this is a reversible poem, in case you haven't have any idea about this type of poem, reversible poem is a passage where we can read from bottom to top or vice versa but when reading different angle you can get different perspective and meaning that the passage wanted to send to it's readers...*** ***So this poem I've written this one when I was in my junior high-school days hahah it's really for the person I first admire when I step on that new chapter of my life, in my junior highschool years haha it seems like if you read it from top to bottom it percieve a message that I hate the person but again it's a reverse poem so I did write it this way but if that person read it from bottom to top, that's when I admit a message of confession that I'm not sure of or maybe I've got confused on my feeling and yeah I'm not the one who can directly says this kind of stuff...*** ***I tend to used poems or use metaphorical methods of writing to express my full attention and emotions onto something, I hate to admit that I once a fan if written poem, I'm a poet myself, my dairies and scratches at the back of my notes is full of unspoken notion of mine, a poetry, deep and often based on my mood and based on the scenarios I am in, seem like today I don't usually make on since I'm too fond on other stuffs to do, but I often find myself in the middly of the night where the world half asleep, I just want to express something, so I did get my diaries and start to be on my own world where words are mkre powerful and give me a solace,*** ***So yeah that's it maybe I should write this often again some poem. Hahaha it's just so fun resding this poem that I've written for my high-school crush hahaha I'm too hooked up to him and being shy around him yet here I am laughing at this hilarious poem, it's a corny yet it amazed myself today that how can I confessed and write something like this back then hahaa because my todays self is not the same anymore, I'm not fond of letters and emotional attachments hahaha but yeha still the metaphorical method supremacy still lives within me.*** **So that's it, how are you today guys, I'm glad that this day is not that boring, I love the weather, not cold nor hot, just exactly balanced, this is one of my first Monday that I started to spend with my solace, I found myself sitting here calmy sipping up my black broad coffee I made for my breakfast... I'm in a good mood today so I hope there's no such thing that will ruin this mood I have,** Lead Image source: https://carolannmccarthy.com/tag/reflection/ Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/SomeProtag/dnd-campaigns-letters/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/372954412862889703/ https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/816910819911561155/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/138556126026021304/ **Hope you all have a good morning, happy Monday to all, stay safe and keep yourself always hydrated. Enjoy the rest of the day guys...** `Ow thank you for all my dearest sponsors, readers, subscribers, and visitors, I'm always grateful to all of you, God bless us all... 😊`

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@MidnightSky 10 July 2022

Lost in translation Relinquish over being omitted, what would you choose? Being torn at this two dilemmas can be both scary and tragically painful. Stepping away might be difficult decision but it's for the best to stop the pain, to end something so beautiful that might be a tragic end, to end it so soon is such a painful scar to hide... `Oh wait before I go to dig on this article of mine, I know it's late but I just want to give my deep gratitude to all my lovely sponsors here, thank you so much as always and also to hose readers, subscribers, and friends of mine thank you so much for everything, I'm so glad to be back again...` Maybe I've got lost in translation and ask for too much rest, now I'm finding myself having nothing to do so I did write this one to start again, to begin a new chapter that I felt like I've been lost for weeks and haven't have the will to update here, now the long rest and lazy days are gone and I'm back to free up those solidifying thoughts of mine, that wanted to break free and let them heard... So while scrolling to some tiktok videos this one got my attention and makes me go conceive something from it, I fancy people to think of this inquiry and I find it really interesting and makes my mind filled with questions and concerns... The tiktok says... ***"who will be the one to be hurt the most, the one who leave or the that has been left? " (Sinong mas nasasaktan, yung nangiwan or yung naiwan?).*** Now, after seing that inquiry it makes me wonder those options, and those are both hurtful thing to be experienced and I think it's a matter of dependence and reason that why those people have their choices about it, it makes me think of those times that I've experienced being left out and also the latter, to leave people behind... Why? Cause ***we have our own reason why we choosed what we thought are the best for the situation.***.. I will not share some personal experience here about this since I don't want to talk about it anymore it's so personal to me that I myself only the one who knew it, and I don't share it to my friends even to my best friend it's just I choose to keep it to myself, so yeah... Base on my experience, ***I choose the person who left***, yes, wecould say that it's so painful to be left by someone we admire and love, but what's more than painful or maybe a worst feeling is to living someone because we think it's the best, ***Letting go...*** Two words, easy to say, yet hard to be done... Leaving someone for a reason that will benefit both of you is much more painful than to be left out, because it's not easy to move on or to give up something that you once been your life and a reason to exist, reason to be alive, reason to love and to be loved, while the latter doesnt have any choice but to acceot and go on with life, you know the feeling when you really love the person and you value his/her existence and love isn't just enough to stay is one of the worst feeling, I don't believe on the famous phrase that they said that "when you love someone, you'll stay"... I hate that phrase cause for me if you love someone you are willing to do anything for him/her even the hardest part is to the point that your too much love for them makes you do such crazy things to the point that even you hate yourself for making such choice you still think of what's the best and it is to let go... ***For me loving someone is when you are willing to let them go for his or her own good...*** It is just a matter of art of letting go... Okay don't make it general ha, I'm just stating base on my experience and really. ***To leave someone even you still love them, to let go of them even you know that after all those years you still asking or seeking for their presence, you still finding yourself in busy fully crowded place hoping those unexpected that you will held a glimpse of them, you still hoping that one day on an unexpected time, on an unexpected place, where you wear unexpected clothes or even an unexpected scenarios you are hoping to see their face again, the face that you once adore, that face that you once go hooked up on seeing them close, hoping a hug or their arm fully wrap around you, hoping to feel again the arms that you once felt home, you once felt loved, but yeah life happens...*** Letting go maybe a hardest part, living someone for their own good is sucks but still you choose to do it since you know that it will be the best, to be left out is a one thing, it may hurt yes but as the years go by the peson that being left out can cover up the pain, the wound will just be a scar that heals but the person who leaves after all, the fresh wound still there and everyday they will question themselves if they choose the write choice but yeah ***it really depends on them how they choose their faith...*** this is only for my own opinion about these topic I know for sure that we have different views about this and also it's based on experience I know, I just want to tell you all that ***don't judge someone who leaves their dear ones, we don't know what's the reason behind their choosen path.*** Whether they did it because they have their reason or not, or whether they just think that it will be the best to stop the pain or to be free or what, respect each other choices, we don't know what going ont their mind and what they cost just to leave... ***Choices are part of our lives, everyday we are choosing, either we choose to get up or not, either we go happy or not, either we go out or not, either we live or not, everyday is a choice and...*** Choosing and being torn to choices is a hardest one to go through, so ***don't judge people for their choices, respect and if you haven't good to say to roll up through the tongue of yours might as well shut up and keep your mouth close, let people do their things.*** Lead Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/739434832550903880/ Image source: https://quotesgram.com/i-have-to-walk-away-quotes/ https://thehobbeehive.com/2017/03/07/theres-love-in-letting-go/amp/ https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-art-of-letting-go-and-why-should-we-practice-it https://cutelovequotesforher.org/15-letting-go-of-someone-you-love-quotes/amp/ **Woah I think that's just it, I may be living with choices yet I choose to rest hahaha what I said earlier that the rest days ends here, it's just a common thing for me yet I found myself writing in my comfy place haha now I want to go on my deep slumber and I choose to follow my heart and mind to sleep and relax for this Sunday hahaha, too early to go to my dreamland, by the way have a nice day everyone, happy Sunday, enjoy, have fun, stay safe and keep yourself always hydrated. Omo I miss writing here hehez happy to be back but yeah please understand my missing in action days hahaha that's it bye for now.**

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@MidnightSky 8 July 2022

Been away for weeks, and I'm tryung to get back on track but I still have a lot of errands and stuffs to do, I apologized for being missing in action hehez hope you all had a greatvdayday everyone, take care and keep yourself hydrated😊

@MidnightSky 30 June 2022

29/30 A book that I loved reading A run off from reality, an escape through this madness, a great break free, and evade that a one thick filled with pages that seems like a key to get away from reality. A book that can make you imagine stuffs or maybe in go wilderness if you want, a little world created by a great people that they don't know how they have impacted the life of anyone who reads their masterpiece... Okay I still remember someone said to me that if you don't imagine nothing ever happens at all haha it's weird that it came from someone who's so special to me, I'm just telling that someone on the books I read and some scenario is about imagination and yeah we go dive onto a deeper topic and that someone's word still remain on my mind, books somehow makes me imagine things and make me feel envious on those scenarios that I knew that rare to haopen in real life somehow imagination helps hehez so yeah keep imagining things hahaha it helps sometimes though hahhaa okay going back... One book that I will never get tired of reading all over again is... The Fault in our Star by John green It will always be my favorite book after all, I just love how the story goes and the twist is so much for my heart gosh it's still lingers the pain I felt on this story and also those romantic moments of these two leading lovers in this book... I don't want to be a spoiler guys so might as well read it for your own sake if you have time hahha cause really it will always be worth it, oh also if you want then watch the movie adaptation and it still so wonderful as the novel itself, but probably if I will be the one to asked if what I want the most if it's movie or the novel, I'll choose the novel since the way the author, John Green gives description on every scenarios in the novel, I can't help but to be amazed and really hooked up on reading it, Like you ever felt the feeling when you are reading something, or some story and you are getting hooked up on it that you feel like you are also becoming the character in that story while reading it. I don't know but for me reading books is somehow magical that it makes me feel so much better and really words and phrases can make me turn my back to reality and drown me on this little world this few pages of the book that we read... I love books as much as I love my alone time haha it just make me ease and also I don't want anyone arround when I'm reading something cause trust me my bestfriend always teased me and sometimes looking me weirdly and sending me glares and confused looks when I'm reading a book because when something I found so irritating and frustrating scene or character in a book then I'll be mad and my brows will creased and I'll look on my bestfriend face and rolled up my eyes then go back again to reading, and for some time I'll read on something that makes my heart including my enternal organs wils becauae of the romantic scene the I' ll be like a crazy ifiot rolling on the couch or bed or maybe on floor or wherever place that I'm reading hahha my bestfriend also one time received a playful slap at her shoulders or arms when I encounter romantic scenes hahaha... Felt sorry after my craziness... So yeah I'm not a person that so look genuine and kind when reading, I'm too hoked up on my reading and it felt like... "I'm there but I'm not really there" hhahahaha My presence exist but I won't notice what's happening on surroundings and also I often loose track of time and just notice that lunchtime already pass hahhaa gosh... Oh yeah I can't take a photo of my book since it's not with me hahaha Though I loved it, I still didn't get it because one of my friend borrowed it from me last month and she still doesn't finished reading it until now gosh that turtle friend of mine hahha kidding I just love teasing her a turtle cause she's really slow when it comes to stuffs and really she hates to much reading but she love books, ironic isn't it? Hahha gosh I don't know how her mind works though hahaha I just can't understand her sometimes but yeah still I love her cause yeah she's always been part of my circle in my life haha... **Well that's it, ow** **I'm not arround for days cause I'm still focusing on my cousins moving up ceremony yesterday and also to my baby sister's shs graduation day this afternoon of for that she'll always be my baby after all even she's a grown up hahah, yeah I'm so happy she will graduate in her senior highschool and I'm her number one fan though and I support her and yes I'm glad she pass on her entrance exam she will be pursuing her med course I'm so happy that it is well going hehezz... I'll be the one to fixed her looks later on so ciao my dears...** Lead Image source: https://abeautifulmess.com/the-fault-in-our-stars/ **Have a nice day everyone, happy Thursday and have a great day ahead, enjoy the rest of the day nice and well. Stay hydrated and keep yourself always safe and sound, bye everyone.** `Oh by the way I'm gonna end this with a deep gratitude to all of these people in this block, thank you much always to all of you and well ofcourse to all my readers and subscribers thank you so much to all of you`.

@MidnightSky 27 June 2022

28/30 Something that made me laugh today ***“A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable.”*** ***– Herbert Procknow*** I could relate from this saing of Mr Herbert haha just laugh when life is difficult even those serious and deep of times that we are sinking a simple laugh can makes us feel at ease, it's a free medicine they say so laugh and laugh guys just don't when there's no reason to laugh at hahha it vould make you a fruitcake or a crazy one hahaha but yeah I wanted to live in a mental hospital for just a week and make friends with people there I think I envy them for being that for taking off in reality but yeah still they aren't lucky enough on reality sights because they are just the same with those people who's taken away their freedom to live in reality and I'm sad for them so I want to experience and make friends and understand them if we were on their shoes... Okay shift course be a nurse na lang hahaha kidding okay let me continue to this topic hahaha I'm so talkative even in writing hahaha gosh... Sorry for that hahha... `Oh wait, before we go to dive in this matter of mine, just want to give my deep gratitude to all of my amazing sponsors in these block thank you so much for everything you've done, I wish you all the best in everything, God bless and have a nice year to all🤗` Okay let me share what makes me somehow laugh this Monday hahaha... Well there's this person that I'm so comfortable of before but life happens and myself is the one to blame but it doesn't matter anymore we have this agreement not to bring up the past anymore hahaha it's just out of the line for the both of us okay haha... So yeah he just make me somehow laugh today because he's with my sister and yeah they had their face to face classes, so I chatted my sister something and want to buy stuff for me but turns out, I'm so serious but yeah it seems like my sister is not the one who chatted me and turn out her bestfriend who's the only one chatting me using her phone so yeah our convo is about hahaha gosh how can I tell it hahah curse me okay let's just skip it haha I was laughing so hard when he sends me a picture Of someone thatvhe is not in good terms with we know it since he used to open up to me and really it's look like a meme hahaha gosh... I know it's bad to laugh on someone but yeah what can I do I'm just so bad actually we are both that bad and I admitted that haha he's someone like a bully hahaha gosh I was laughing until my stomach hurt because of that picture hahaha I cursed at him and told him to delete it after my sister see that pic and also our conversation using her phone hahahaha... Gosh how can I laugh at that bad idea but still I feel sorry for that someone we know that we laugh at off gosh I'll tell to that person that he took a photo hahaha good luck buddy hahaha I have my own black mail for him na hahhaha kidding. I'm not that bad hahhaa I just a simple human and natutukso din hahaha I'm not perfect okay and also I'm not that kind or who act like saints. We all have our evil little secrets hahah gosh I still remember the pic and it makes me still laugh hahaha... Thanks to myself I turn down that person hahaha because I don't know how we will handle our fight or relationship if we are both still like that hahaha we had a lot but yeah we are just so bad when it comes to that thing hahaha but still yeah I can't hide the fact that he makes me laugh until my tummy aches hahaha, soryy guys I just can't share it here the picture and our conversation hahaha we are the only two who can relate hahaha but yeah sorry that I have to share it hahaha because honestly it made me laigh so hard hahaha evil isn't it? Hahahha sorry again... **Well enough for this day hahha I think this is just a short one since I'm really not in the mood for a while haha I'm glad that somehow there's something that made me laugh and thanks to him though even we have this unspoken past haha yeah he used to court me but you know me that I don't do commitments hahha and he still pursue it, and I found myself smiling through his simple gestures or even simple messages that's really genuine but yeah can't hide the fact that I'm not fond of his but still I don't want commitments so I turn him down hahha oh by the way he's my sister's best friend hahaha so yeah...** Lead Image source: https://www.docseducation.com/blog/power-laughter-it-really-best-medicine Image source: https://wandaalger.me/2017/07/24/the-lord-says-to-laugh-at-the-enemy/amp/ https://www.memesmonkey.com/topic/laughing+hard **Oh well, good night to all of you my dears, have a great Monday night, spend the rest of the night witg a blast. Enjoy, take care and always keep yourself hydrated, sleepwell to all good night to all my dears🤗**

@MidnightSky 26 June 2022

27/30 My Favorite part about nature An unexpected bestfriend, a doctor that you don't need to pay high fees just to heal you, a green pasture, a very quote solace that is so addicting and the authenticity of it's existence give you more opportunity and let you believe that there's a beauty in everything, a healing aid that's not literalli a medicine or what... That's the nature, a powerful natural therapeutic one that gives you so much comfort, to be beholden by the beauty of this is such a warm and nice feeling, the bare beauty of the nature is such a catch... Well nature is always been one of my favorite part of this wonderful creation of almighty one, it's just so therapeutic and really a calming, and mesmerizing sight to see and to be surround by it is such a solace and a comfort feeling... Okay all in all nature is my favorite every part of it, but the best loved part of it is the trees and the clouds... I just love it specialy the combination of it is such and a esthetically pleasing sight to ever see by my bare eyes, I just love how it makes me feel so calm, and give me such an appeasing feeling that despite of everyting that happens, those bad days that I had, I just look up to these pleasing sight and I see myself smiling and feeling the fresh air surrounded myself by trees and the sky that's so dreamy. It't just like those narcotic stuffs and I'm so drown and addicted by the existence of it... I remember having my bad days I just go out for a walk and found myself in my favorite spot we're I just sat there at the big tree beside our neighbors house hahaha gosh I'm still so young that time that I had this emo phase as a child when I'm so upset and really doesn't want to talk on people and my room wasn't enough to calm me down, I go outside and have a walk and yeah sitting beside a tree and just watching the sky or the people who passes by on that street, it helps me somehow ease the anger or the feeling of sadness and burden to myself... Until now, it never change I still craving for the sight of these favorite part of mine in nature, I just can't escape to the sight of its so therapeutic, specially when I really enjoying my own vompany and just never talk to anyone, often I wear my earphones sit at some park or benches where I can see trees and surrounded by greens and I just look up at the sky where I see myself getting hooked up by the sight of the warm blue sky that is so comforting and really really lessen the weights of this predicament life we have... Just by these pleasing sight of these two fuel my imagination, also it helps me focus when my mind are so messed up and I can think straight, I just first swt aside everything and try to find my focus so I wonder and yeah these two helps me find my focus, it's just ease my thoughts and make me calm and try to go back and focus on my thoughts and yeah it's really a good meditation if I were to say hahha... Okay maybe I'm just so obsessed by the sight of it, Often sky are just so deadful but as I can see those trees that are so strong even for the longest time they exist I found it amzing and just really inspiring, imagine the decades tehy spent staying strong in that same place they exist is such an inspiring one, and those dreadful skies that often appears when there's a storm that is coming, see even they are witness and experienced the storm they still looking so bright and warm in different shades after a storm, they just so pleasing to see in the eye, a calming and beautiful after math of a disaster... I love how this part of nature helps people like me to ease their feelings on this voyage of life, I love how they are always there just to remind us that everything is gonna be fine, you are not alone, just appreciate the beauty of your surroundings, those living existence that you unexpectedly found yourself lurking and being companied by them... **Well, that's just it for tonight, I'm so very glad that I've gotta spent this whole Sunday with my fam, gosh it's really tiring since I've got to talk a lot and socialized because yeah they visits us today and yeah there's a kot of mess after they left haha gosh I'm the nanny for tonight and I will be cleaning and yes I think I'll sleep late before I finish all of stuffs and yeah also clean myself so yeah maybe that just it for tonight, woah I really don't use my phone the whole day just a glimpse when there's a messafge or important notification hehez so yeahy Sunday went so well and great...** Lead Image source: https://www.wallpaperup.com/282390/sunset_field_tree_landscape.html Image source: https://wallpaperstock.net/pink-cloud-sky-tree--field-wallpapers_w40109.html https://www.popsci.com/cosmic-rays-and-vapors-from-trees-can-spur-cloud-forming-particles/?amp https://wallpapercave.com/trees-field-wallpapers https://www.wallpaperup.com/104232/Tree_Field.html **Hope you all had your Sunday spent so well and great too... Let's all rest because gosh another Monday is waiting again for tomorrow and another stuffs and responsibilities again, hope we all have our good rest this night, goodnight everyone, stay safe and keep yourself always hydrated, have a blast to all my dears✨🤗** `Well before I sign off this one, I'll just want to give my deep gratitude to all my sponsors, readers and to all who's with me here throughout this journey, thank you so much to all of you, have great night everyone🤗`

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@MidnightSky 25 June 2022

26/30 The people who mean the most to me People that we held so much dearly that their worth became so valuable and priceless to us, they are those immeasurable and inevitable doted on us, that even gold or anything measurable of worth can't surpass them to you, like they have such played an important role on your life that you can't imagine this existence of yours worth it without them... they became part of your missing pieces of your own puzzle... Well, to be honest I valued people so much that I get to risk everything just for the sake of them, I'm no selfish when it comes to these people who's so much dear to me, yes, you can call me narcissist or whatever you want but when it comes to this sgnificant people in my life I'm open as a book and really I don't share what's mine, I'm over protective to them to the point that if you will try to enter their lives you'll need first to go through with me hahah gosh my cousin will relate so much to this one also to my dear little sister haha I'm so strict when it comes to people who surrounds them... Okay let me just go deep down through the topic, well there are just quite people who's so much mean to me, and really I'm not quite the person who will just let people in to my life so yeah I'm friendly but I choose people to befriend I'm just go with acquaintance than a friend, know the difference... So yeah people that mean the most to me are: **Family** -Yes, family first after all they are the one who give life to me and the reason why I'm existing here, family is everything to me even thought I'm the unwanted one hahha kidding but yeah half meant, but still they are the most important people in my life, I love them always more than everything in this world, they are my own blood that remains a lifetime, no matter what happen we will always be the one who will be there for each other, and family is the strongest bond after all. **My Bestfriend** -Well yeah, She's my second family after all hahaha she's the best, my sibling from different mother, we are sisters by heart, we just a catch for each other, our bond is pure and really a firm one, we are transparent to each other and we are comfortably can just sit the whole day at one room and do nothing but still feel the comfort of each other's existence, I just love my bestfriend like I love my family, she's been part of it actually and I will never let forgive anyone who dare to hurt her because I swear I knew how to break those 206 bones of that person who will dare to hurt my precious bestie hehezz okay kidding hahaha I just don't want her to be hurt by anyone. **Friends** -they are the one who makes the serious moments became less serious and make each other lives much more enjoyable, exciting, snd adventurous, with them life has more meaning and colors, problems are lessen just by their simple dork sides showing up, the light hearted presence of them makes me feel the comfort and I'm very grateful to their existence to somehow nurtured me on some things that I acted a little bit messy haha so yeah they are those people who's willing to stand at your side even on the stormiest day of this predicament life. **Jennie Kim** -call me crazy or obsessed all you want haha but I wouldn't hide the fact the even I doesn't knwo who really jennie kim is behind the camera, I still admit that she becaem precious to me and so mean to my life because she became my inspiration somehow and I'm really grateful to her because even though I'm just a mere fan of her and knowing that she's a star that so close yet so far and really difficult to reach yet she's been oart of me when the times of my boredom or schools stuffs sucks and I have a messy mind and no one to talk to well I go watch her videos, interviews also to their songs and just by that ut lighten my weights that I'm carrying on to that specific day hahaha so okay when talaga comeback I missed them so much hahaha baka namn po yg hehehez 👉👈 Well that's it, cherish people who mean the most to you, don't let a day to finished without them knowing that they are so much mean to you and you love them as much as you love yourself, be the best version of you not just for yourself but for people who's so important to you, they wre worth to be living for and love them always. **That's just it for today, woah it's weekend and I really spent my Saturday so well and great in my room sleeping hahaha gosh I can't call it as productive day since I've been just laying on couch or in bed and just watching some Netflix series, I thought I will be doing something productive yet my bestfriend chatted me to go with her because she's having a bad day turns out she's just so sleepy because of her work so yeah I declined and told her that I'll just go to their house tomorrow hahaha I said she better sleep because me, myself is too sleepy and so lazy too hahaha... She nag me but in the end I still won hahahha...** Lead Image source: https://www.pinterest.nz/pin/700661654510163464/ Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/24980972910767939/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/288089707392304355/ **Oh gosh I think I should have a late night walk since I look like unhealthy human being hahaha I should have my walk after posting this one so I better get resdy my earphones and water hahaha just a night walk alone is a therapeutic hehezz** **So yeah that's it, hope you all have your day spent so well and nice, enjoy the rest of the day my dears, have a good night to all, stay hydrated and keep yourself always safe. Enjoy everyone✨🤗** `To all my sponsors, readers, subscribers, and all people who's still with me throughout this time, I'm so glad and very grateful to all of you here, thank you so much to all, God bless and happy Saturday to all of you goizzz✨🤗`