I’m Getting Married

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Avatar for King_Gozie
2 years ago

What is the age recommended for marriage, and I'm so curios to know your answer?"

This was a dilemma with a friend.. here's what she said "I don't know about marriage and I don't know about kids either, seems like an egotistical pursuit masquerading as something so noble. I do like the idea of doing amazing things with awesome people, maybe I'm just tripping but family just seems average and I don't really see any thing in marriage and commitment"

I understand why some people don't agree with the idea of marriage and having a family and all of that coz I think everyone is entitled to their own desires.. but to me being a firm believer in marriage, was because I was fortunate enough to have both parent for some time although my dad's late now. My mom got married when she was 21 and my dad was 27 and so they got married at a young age. When you see that happen and grow up in that situation seeing them overcome any obstacles together of course you're going to believe in the idea of marriage..

But then she says she has a good family and don't believe in that idea of marriage, here's my opinion... she must have had curiosities about those other things and for her to say nothing can ever lead her into having a long term connection but yet she talked about so much on personal desires.. There's nothing deep and meaningful about those things that was listed, there's nothing deep and meaningful about life itself.. then at the time I was thinking I about it, I actually felt like being in one to have the experience so quickly..

We kinda do what's beneficial to us, you want to see your legacy live on through your kids.. at the same time would anyone say a marriage is a bad thing based on this points. We kept on arguing all day and I was like for every step to be amongst a family we are trying to build some thing that will out live us regardless of how we feel about it at that very moment..

Here's my philosophy, I think that love does exist and it's worth the wait.. of I had gotten love at this age, I wouldn't been ready for it and I wouldn't be able to process it correctly and it currently would have broken me because I am not ready for, we must be in tune with ourselves first before we find a match outside ourselves.. then someone out there sees you and gets attracted to you and you're also going to be aware of the people in tune with you.

So you're getting more opportunities and becoming more observant of those opportunities to be loved and love some one else.. we must keep working on ourselves and this is to everyone out there feeling lonely or having a negative feeling about marriage, keep doing what you do and dont stop working on yourself. This message still speaks for you to take all those love you want to give to somebody else that don't deserve you and give that to yourself instead..

When you do find a partner that is in tune with you and also with themselves, you can enjoy having the best moment together... I ended it all with finding someone who makes you pause for a while, in that process you feel something then I agreed within me that she's never felt something like this before and really don't know what love is yet..

So I'm asking a general question, "Should love be a scam or a joke?"

What would you say about her opinion towards having a commitment and connection between two people… she wasn’t accepting all the facts thrown on this argument. It’s personal and if anyone decides something it should be generally tagged to everyone.. when I ask her why exactly did she say something like that, there was no reason from her..

I know I sort of changed the idea of me getting married, so sorry I’m not doing that yet and you may just be the one I’m searching for..

Thank you for reading… I love you all. Two days left for 2021 to be over, I’m more excited for the new year..

December 29th 2021

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Avatar for King_Gozie
2 years ago

Comments

Isn't it just amazing how many people now these days don't even regard marriage. I'm totally with you on this one too. As for the age of getting married, to me personally, it's anywhere between I think 19 upwards as long as you're financially stable.

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2 years ago

Are u married?dear...or it's prank?😅

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2 years ago

My father married at 21 so he got a sibling that could be his friends.. We oftenly play basketball together... Hehe, and we could also help him do heavy stuffs when he needs us.

I recommend 23 age

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2 years ago

It’s still a good age and I agree with you.. you dad got married really early and that’s the first time I’m seeing that age for a man.. it was his decision and I’m sure that was the best moment.. I could come play basket ball with you

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2 years ago

Getting married should be plan but sometimes teenager nowadays excited of getting married but these arr beneficial and non beneficial, depends on how they overcome the incidents and how the parents support them

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2 years ago

Out of rush most people fall into the wrong set of partners… and meanwhile marriages end because of this.. I feel at the point of having a conviction, there’s no excuse given that can mend anything.. It should have been properly planned with the right mindset..

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2 years ago

It depends on our lifestyle, perceptions ie. I got married at 27 and felt I should do it earlier. With kids before 30 life become a little put together. But that's my personal opinion.

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2 years ago

I love your decision and that’s a good one and you felt happy with the outcome… it’s an individual thing, when one feels it’s time then go for it.. Thank you Remona

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2 years ago

Maybe it depends? I have no plan to get married right now but maybe soon, I'm not even sure with my future

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2 years ago

Everything with its season dear... when it’s the right moment you will find the perfect match… happy new year 💛

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2 years ago

To me, age and love should not be taken for granted in marriage nor be considered irrelevant.

The reason is that; underage individuals should not even dare marriage most especially those who physically are not mature likewise mentally. We are in the days where age 14 - 17years individual looks more mature in size (physically) than their normal age some even reason and talk like an adult. Such must be looked into before considering marriage.

Also, the context of love in this generation has been misused. When someone tells you "I Love You" what first comes to your mind? That is the problem, many go into relationships to see if the love they claim they have can work. That is no love because genuine love always works. If it doesn't work it is not love. Love is not to gainsay others but to gain others to love by your input sacrificially.

Love and age matter in the context of marriage because it tells on the marriage later in the future. Remember that it will also be passed unto the next generation (one's offspring) knowingly or unknowingly.

Wishing all soon to be couples a blissful marriage in advance by 2022...

Peace ✌️

OkanlaDavid

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2 years ago

Thank you David for an amazing contribution… the last few point I could relate with when it comes to passing it down to offsprings, no one wants to be old when their kids are just 20 years of age… I actually just gave you this topic cause you did more justice to it than I did. Thank you for you wish happy new year in advance..

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2 years ago

You have to love yourself first before someone can love you. I won't say marriage is smooth and love alone can't sustain it but its also a beautiful thing I have watched my parents come this far so it still encourages me about marriage. I am pretty sure she has her reasons for saying that but doesn't know about it yet

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2 years ago

There is no an exact age for marriage, as long as couples is ready to take bigger responsibilities and consequences in life. But before entering to that stage, they should also think about it thoroughly as it is not a joke or scam.

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2 years ago

That’s right Mayiee, it’s not a joking matter, we just be aware of every requirements before even thinking of a a commitment… thank you

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2 years ago

To enter into marriage is one of the biggest decisions one can make. It requires thorough thinking. Its not about the age, but the readiness and preparedness of our body and soul to take an immense responsibility that we have to carry for the rest of our life.

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2 years ago

That’s true… if we are not fully prepared there’s no reason to be in one. If it would require building up together with the next person that shouldn’t be neglected…

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2 years ago

When I read the title I thought you actually getting married na hehhe. Anyway, soonest you can find the right woman for you.

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2 years ago

Thank you… thought I could treat the topic quite differently and as well making everyone surprised 😅.. I’m glad you stopped by

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2 years ago

Marriage is,a beautiful thing and every one is expected to get married one day. But sometimes I don't think marriage is for everyone. Some people are better off being alone.

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2 years ago

It depends on what path one decides to take although I wouldn’t fully side being alone, it could be something that led into that mindset and when that feeling is wrong then it doesn’t feel right… when something is a cause of something it doesn’t fully represent the main desire of that person.. thanks Dear

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2 years ago

Thinking of marriage is a good thing. I believe that the best age to get married is 27yo to 33yo. Money is necessary, as well as employment (not just employment but well paying job)

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2 years ago

Your preference is what I would suggest as well… money should be readily available, atleast there are responsibilities you and I should be able to cater for.. even asides money, maturity plays an important role too..

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2 years ago

I think any age can be appropriate when the right people come together at the right time and decide to get married. Just because marriage involves serious responsibilities, the parties should be ready at the point of meeting the responsibilities. There is love, and I believe that anyone who keeps their expectations low will experience love.

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2 years ago

Very true… we must realize that there will be responsibilities but that shouldn’t scare us to make a serious commitment.. From your perspective, marriage isn’t child’s play and when one decides to go into it there must me readiness towards that motive.. I appreciate your opinion so much.

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2 years ago

I have also thought about marriage and its benefits at one point, and truly it's the best thing in the world but only if you marry the right person. Some persons are scared of marriage probably because they are afraid of commitment, but it's easier when you find the right person

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2 years ago

Yeah, it turns back to be chaotic when we chose people based on marriage sake and not in terms of love and connection…

I wouldn’t blame anyone fully in that area, because brother it’s not easy to find someone that has all the qualities and most times ladies will wait till they find that one… but at the same we must allow a space in our heart to find the right person.. thanks Kushyzee

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2 years ago

Really dear? You just put me in your marriage scam. I was happy and now I understand the prank.

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2 years ago

I’m sorry 😅😅… I knew you would want to say congratulations on my newly found bride.. I won’t put it out there without a proper intention next time..

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2 years ago

I strongly believed in the idea that we should prioritized and develop ourselves first before we look for our other half. It is very improtant to have a strong foundation of ourselves before we let other people come to our lives.

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2 years ago

That’s right and I think this was one of the major reason for the topic… self development and self appreciation is key in everything, it feels so easy out there because we’ve taken the time to walk on ourselves… thank you Seq

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2 years ago

They’re ages to get married for woman and I don’t think man can’t get married at any time if the man is still strong enough to work and have a good financial portfolio because most woman now a days doesn’t support man.

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2 years ago

It equally goes for men too, you wouldn’t want to be old when the thought of marriage comes in… but at the same time we believe finance and money is everything, it goes beyond that… there must be complete understanding of what it entails.. this is a good write up

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2 years ago

For me the ideal age to get married is before you reach the age of 30. This is just for me , because the most important is you are financially and emotionally ready. Financially aspect because you will be building a family. You need to make sure you can provide well. Emotionally - to overcome all challenges along the way of your marriage life.

Getting married is not a joke as it is a lifetime commitment.
So make sure you really love the person you gonna marry not just because youre in rush .

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2 years ago

There are still some that have preferences beyond 30 and the most important thing is all you’ve highlighted, based on the financial and emotional aspect as well as taking it seriously… it’s very important to plan before venturing into marriage, at least start from the basics. Thank you so much

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2 years ago

Am 25 now and thinking of marriage now is not Part of my plans now because I have nothing now. So thinking of it now Is something else, but I know that before I turn to 30 I would have earned what I will you in taking care of my family.

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2 years ago

I don’t mean this to make you feel left out or be in a haste Jax… anytime you feel is the right moment, it’s your choice and no one should be a dictator of that… it’s better to be more prepared than to make a commitment and break it..

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2 years ago

Sooner you will have your the one 💖

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2 years ago

Awww thank you Mel… I really can’t wait for that moment ❤️

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2 years ago

I don't know about marriage so i don't know what to say. As for me, I'm planning to be single lol

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hehe, not when I’m here 😔… I really do have a soft side for you dear.. all that’s aside why do you want to remain single or planning to?”

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2 years ago

Let's then eat a wedding invitation after a long time. It's been a long time no marriage has been eaten. Get married quickly. And we will have a lot of fun in your marriage.

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2 years ago

You will surely get a grand invite to it, 😊 that’s moment is much closer now.. thank you Mazekin

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2 years ago

Awwwwwn. It's a life contract and an eye opener. They say love is blind (that's during courtship) but when the chemistry turns biology, eye go open

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2 years ago

😅😅😅 when that eye open na problem be that… maybe courtship could just be the answer towards building something that relates with commitment.. May God help us all to find awesome partners..

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2 years ago

I think it differs for everyone when the best age to get married is. But you should be stable, have figured out quite some things and be in a balanced relationship with someone before you embark on that adventure

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2 years ago

Hmmm this is everything i needed to know Plint… it solely depends on every individual.. everything counts as a way of having a clear mindset towards marriage.. Like I discussed earlier, connection and communication matters a lot…

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2 years ago

Boss I know soon you will find love

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2 years ago

Hahaha, I was hoping I attend yours next year. All the same I am looking forward to that event 😊.. as for me, I really don’t have an idea yet 😅

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2 years ago

I really don't think there's an age for marriage. If two people love each other well enough to settle they should go ahead. As long as they can handle the responsibility that they are about to commit to. There are marriages of marured people that still crumble and crash. So age is not a pre requisite to me.

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2 years ago

I’m going to have to overrule maturity as the only criteria, you’ve really broken it all down perfectly… there are still marriages that end even if it was based on the maturity level, knowing the responsibilities involved and making up our minds fully to handle them when it comes up is very important..

You’d see and notice marriages crumble when from the onset, issues like this aren’t dealt. I’m no relationship advisor but age really isn’t everything that when making a commitment.. thank you Mhiz

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2 years ago

Speaking of marriage I don't think there is any recommended age, it has to do with maturity and preparation. A 20 year old person could be ready while another 25 year old person may not be. Age isn't a factor.

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2 years ago

That’s true Kris.. I feel preparedness is key when going into marriage.. even people older can have it all wrong in a relationship or marriage… maturity is what is takes in a long lasting union. I’ve seen worse happen, when there was no proper alignment from both parties.. I agree fully with you brother thank you

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2 years ago

I've seen so many cases as such.

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2 years ago

Exactly… we keep seeing them happen. It’s not something that can easily be amended, once a mistake is done it’s done.. How are you feeling now?”

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2 years ago

Is not that there's a set age for marriage but when one come of age(say revolving around 25 and 30 for ladies and men respectively) and finds someone compatible, they are good to go. It's all about willingness and compatibility of the other partner and not mainly on age.

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2 years ago

You are equally right about this, it’s not mainly about age but willingness towards it as as a matured mind.. it could even go beyond 30 and start below 25, what gives if it fulfills everything required then go for it…

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2 years ago

Love is real and good. It can happen at any time because there's no age range for it. Aaaand also marriage can come at any age so far the people getting married are matured enough. Maturity is not just in age, but maturity in everything. From our reasoning to actions. Someone who can take solid decisions can decide to marry.

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2 years ago

That’s true and really there’s no age range to it.. I love your full explanation of what maturity means because people misinterpret that word and what it entails.. There just be readiness between both parties towards a union… thank you for this write up 💛

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2 years ago

28-35 is my preference. Unfortunately, I don't want to jump into it lol. Well not all are really not open about marriage. It's a serious thing that should be thought about a million times before engaging in that matter. It might be easy for some, but not for the practical ones.

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2 years ago

I believe in your preference as well.. no one should be compelled to dive into it because they just turned 20 or 25 but it should be ourselves put into consideration, How ready are we going forth?” You have made a good decision and when it’s time for that to happen, you will meet someone who will always be in tune with you… thank you dear

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2 years ago

Love is not a scam neither is it a joke but a beautiful thing we must all have. Getting marriage is not by mouth and no one must be in a rush to get married. Marriage is not a joking matter but a school on its own. So, age is not a yardstick for marriage but to some extent it is as marrying at a tender age can cause breakage of the marriage on the long run. This is why understanding each other is necessary in relationship.

First you must understand the way both of you relate to eacu other and the way your partner feel about you. You must also understand your partner if he or she is having just the outside beauty. The fact remains that, they must bother love each other to the fullest. Jumping into it cannot and can never sound too well.

It does not matter how old you are but what matters most is the love you have for each other. Love exists and it is real but not fake.

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2 years ago

I’m sorry for keeping this amazing write up waiting… I need to learn about these things form you sir, a class will do… nothing we left out of this write up and I’m fully with you on every opinion…

I can really add much coz you literally said the most important things, we must understand why marriage entails and not just jump into it because someone else did the same or we get talked into it.. thank you so much

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2 years ago

As for the age,I think when the man is stable and has a good job at hand that is feeding him,he can then think of going into any marriage.

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2 years ago

I believe it’s not only having a stable job but a firm affirmation of what is ahead and college preparation towards that effect… but we know in Nigeria that if you don’t have a good paying job, marriage is just a fantasy… thank you Vic

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2 years ago

As for me, age can't be a stumbling block when making marital decisions except on the ground that one is still an adolescent in the respect rather, marriage decisions should be made when one is ready by heart, then, such marriage decisions could be made.

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2 years ago

I lean towards your response and I appreciate your contribution… I feel the same way and wouldn’t base my marriage based on age alone but how far we’ve built a connection… it has to do with complete readiness like you’ve said.. thank you dear

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2 years ago

Age for marriage is not fixed. But I would say for a lady, I'd say from 25 years of age. And for a man, I'd say from 25 years too. Depending on the individual. The honest truth is that: not everyone will be wealthy, find love, have a happy marriage or even get married.

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2 years ago

I love the statement you made “not everyone will be happy” I think sometimes we get scared to get too intimate with anyone that we limit our opportunities… so I believe there shouldn’t be draw backs and even shouldn’t be a huge barrier, immediately there’s a connection and you’ve studied each other for some time there’s no reason for delay…

Everyone has their preferences though…

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2 years ago

I can say age do not determine when to married, so far bot parties agree and have knowledge of what it takes to be together as husband and wife.

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2 years ago

Very well said Ay.. thank you

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2 years ago

I'm 20 already, and getting married is still not on my mind. But my preference is 25-29. It seems easy but it definitely requires a lot of time to think about it.

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2 years ago

That’s a good preference, and I feel anyone within that range should have worked within that motive.. it requires a lot like you’ve written, really I thought you where like 25 😊.. it’s your life and no one should make that decision to make a commitment except you..

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2 years ago

I guess marriage should be 18+

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2 years ago

Yeah… but shockingly I have seen 17 😅😅… it doesn’t have an age barrier and that shouldn’t be the basis for marriage alone.. truly it is the recommended age as well

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2 years ago

Everyone can love but not all are into marriage.. it depends on persons preference.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Very true ate.. not all are actually ready to be in a marriage hence the sudden chaos in homes… I love your opinion on personal preferences..

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2 years ago

To me, love is not a scam neither is it a joke. Marriage is not for everyone. There are some who shouldn´t be talking about marriage especially when they do not understand what it entails. Yes, age doesn´t concern marriage, provided you understand the techniques to having a good life together with your partner.

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2 years ago

Very well said Princess and after reading your write up, it explained further… understanding must be there and really it’s not about age although everyone has their preferences but it shouldn’t be an important factor to have a good marriage…

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2 years ago

As what others side marriage is not setting up by the age. Its up for you if you were going to get marry someone with ur recent status in life and u think that its already a right time.

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2 years ago

Marriageable age for men is 25 while women is 23. But I'll say marriage should not be rushed into. It's a lifetime commitment

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2 years ago

I never of this though and I have noted this age.. it should be rushed into, that’s means in two years time I should be preparing to be in one cause I will be eligible 😊.. when both parties realize that it’s for better for worse, I think much thought have to go into it..

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2 years ago

To me I won't say I like marriage nor hate it, I will only say if I wasn't a Nigerian, I will totally hate that thing called marriage, anytime I remember that I'm a woman and soon my family will start stressing me on marriage issues I do feel like travelling our of the country and not come back.

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2 years ago

I agreed, When my parents marraige then my mothers age was 23 or my father's age was 31,it seems very awful that my dad married in 31,but in my views if we loved any one any she also love you then you have to marry her early as you can becuase the time not same always,love is a joke if we feels it from our heart and if we just use brain then we can understand what is love love can't be manage with feelings,it will destroy ourselfs if we feel it from our heart, or love is the many blunders of our character behavior patterns etc. I think you have to married now it would be good for you and enjoy your life

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2 years ago

I’m not in the right frame of mind to get married yet 😅.. but that could be a handful of suggestion though… I understood everything from your reasoning, age shouldn’t be a judge guests having a good partner likewise having a good home and partner.. it takes two to tangle like the saying goes, Preparedness is important when one’s mind is made.. Thank you for this, I could learn something..

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2 years ago

Welcome dear,took a time and thought have you even seen any girl you like most from your x 😅. When you plan to get married then your girlfriend have not your or you saw every girl beautiful from her😅 and you mind starts some thoughts that would be "yes or not".you would see more beautiful girls. I have passed from these situations😁.

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2 years ago

Marriage is something one should not rush into. One has to take his/her time in finding the right person.

It's just like an irreversible chemical equation, once the reaction has started it can be reversed.

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2 years ago

I love how you related this with a chem reaction, most times I look at marriage as a lasting commitment and anyone going into it should be ready in all areas..

I really wish a lot of people having issues now that should have dealt with at the initial stage could have realized all this, it may just one thing missing that will result in chaos… thank you for breathing new life and something different into this topic with a lovely contribution..

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2 years ago