I Lost All Of My Subscribers, Could This Be The End?”
For anyone that's keeping up with me, you will notice that lately I've been too focused on my subscriber count than the content itself.. but I know our artistic integrity matters a lot, and I think that's not a very good head space to be in if I want to be a good writer. It shouldn't dictate your self-worth as a person because this will reflect itself in your confidence levels.
This is something that I've noticed, I feel like my confidence level has diminished quite a bit recently because I've fallen into the lack mindset. Now part of that is me not being as disciplined as I once was and me just generally not being on my purpose and being on my grind as much as I know I can be.
But at the same time, I do feel that part that comes from a place of me not having self-worth and my actions reflects that lack of self worth from within.. For a while my goal was to hit 500 subscribers by January this year, now looking back at it this goal was ego oriented coz I wanted to fulfill an egoic desire if that's the right choice of words. 500 subs does not mean anything, the only difference between 50 subs and 500 subs is that one extra zero at the end.. Literally the only difference and i know this from experience.
No amount of subscribers will be enough if thats what you want and this is what I've realised as I climbed up the rings. My end goal should be creating my best contents as I can on a day-to-day basis. If I can use the process of worrying to create something it will make a lot more meaning.. So sometimes I feel like I've lost you all and I need to redirect back to the main topic and to the main purpose. It may take a while to, I still haven't completely give way I’m still trying to tell myself the truth and I hope it doesn’t take too long for me to get the clear picture..
A lot of social media is a lot the same as well, I mean we know the numbers dictates everything. It's just twisted and not good mentally to place your self-worth into numbers. I do appreciate where I've gotten to and this was a to tell you how I feel and sort of pranked you into seeing this, on a short amount of time this is all a shock to me and I love you all so much. But in terms of my mindset, I understand that those numbers shouldn't represent the success but a reflection of the hard work and the mindset we build as we grow..
We all know the metric for success is about view, the truth of it all is when you keep creating a beautiful content.. views follows and this is something I've learnt on my journey but you and I must leave all form of ego aside and focus on being us and creating the best and be happy in the moment.. Now no matter the number I have it keeps becoming an endless float, but when I enjoy the content and be me and enjoying the process and moment becoming my best self for me and for evey one of my friends that's when the numbers follows..
Why I use that term lost all?" I kept chasing the ones ahead and then neglected the family I have, I want to be better and also strive to be better.. There’s a difference between being satisfied with where you are and following a path that ain’t worth it.. I failed to understand that we don’t bring subscribers and friends, what we do and how well we do them and the love we have doing them, draws a lot in. And Guess what happens!! They stay and never leave..
We must always be cautious of this, sometimes pride set in and we feel we desire everyone’s attention.. I felt this way and it doesn’t portray good behavior even as a writer, there’s no limit to growth and as we grow we attract people who are willing to grow with us..
Happy Friday to you all..
January 7th 2022
Even though most people say subscriber count doesn't matter, I think they actually do. Because the number of subscribers affects the number of reads of the articles. Of course, content is important, but one of the things that will make content good is the number of subscribers and the number of visits to the content. If you're good, more people will read, like, and subscribe. This thought may have prevailed in all of us.