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Honestly, I thought of writing this one to brighten up my day, even if just for a little while. I really have been in a bad mood since yesterday. I don't know, my mind is blank or I've been over thinking lately, which makes me think of unnecessary things that aren't helpful. I've been overthinking a lot these past few days. That feeling when you're alive but dead inside? That is how I feel every day. I wake up with the same routine over and over again and it freaking kills me. I've been trying to find out what happened to me. I really don't know what seems to be the problem with me. Is it the people around me? The environment that I lived in? Or it is I, myself who is the problem? Why am I like this? Why do I have to end up like this? This isn't me.
Problems keep cropping up and it feels like our house is about to explode, just like my head. The financial problem really is the root of all the other problems, and it is one of the family problems. As much as I want to save to renovate my room, I couldn't. Because it all ends up in paying debts, their debts. I don't have mine. I don't like borrowing someone else's money. I only borrow if I really need it, or for an emergency only. Because I believe that having lots of debts is one of the reasons that you remain broke. You can't be successful if you keep on borrowing money. The more money you borrow, the higher and bigger the interest rate will be. I've been telling them to save some, even just a little penny or amount, because it will surely grow bigger if they keep saving little by little.
I guess I really need to face the reality that this is what adulthood is like. Where everything revolves around money. Money is everywhere. Money here, money there, money everywhere. I mean, we can prevent this, right? If only we were more mindful in our daily lives.
I've been out of my mind and I can't help but overthink every freaking time.
I wasn't like this. This isn't me and I wanna bring back the old me. The happy, cheerful and unproblematic me.
Sorry for this early-morning random rant. I woke up early today, and I heard them argue over finances, which is so stressful. Who wouldn't get pissed when the first thing you heard early in the morning was them arguing?
I just want to let this thing go, so I decided to publish this instead of the one that I have in my drafts. I was supposed to publish the one in my draft last night, but I was preoccupied then fell asleep.
Right after I woke up, I then grabbed my phone and plugged my earphones in with full volume, and listened to Twenty One Pilot and had my own peaceful world.
I was listening to Twenty One Pilot's "Stressed Out" and that's where I got the title of this topic.
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