My Name's Blurry Face And I Care What You Think

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Avatar for Jinifer
3 years ago

Honestly, I thought of writing this one to brighten up my day, even if just for a little while. I really have been in a bad mood since yesterday. I don't know, my mind is blank or I've been over thinking lately, which makes me think of unnecessary things that aren't helpful. I've been overthinking a lot these past few days. That feeling when you're alive but dead inside? That is how I feel every day. I wake up with the same routine over and over again and it freaking kills me. I've been trying to find out what happened to me. I really don't know what seems to be the problem with me. Is it the people around me? The environment that I lived in? Or it is I, myself who is the problem? Why am I like this? Why do I have to end up like this? This isn't me.

Problems keep cropping up and it feels like our house is about to explode, just like my head. The financial problem really is the root of all the other problems, and it is one of the family problems. As much as I want to save to renovate my room, I couldn't. Because it all ends up in paying debts, their debts. I don't have mine. I don't like borrowing someone else's money. I only borrow if I really need it, or for an emergency only. Because I believe that having lots of debts is one of the reasons that you remain broke. You can't be successful if you keep on borrowing money. The more money you borrow, the higher and bigger the interest rate will be. I've been telling them to save some, even just a little penny or amount, because it will surely grow bigger if they keep saving little by little.

I guess I really need to face the reality that this is what adulthood is like. Where everything revolves around money. Money is everywhere. Money here, money there, money everywhere. I mean, we can prevent this, right? If only we were more mindful in our daily lives. 

I've been out of my mind and I can't help but overthink every freaking time.
I wasn't like this. This isn't me and I wanna bring back the old me. The happy, cheerful and unproblematic me.


Sorry for this early-morning random rant. I woke up early today, and I heard them argue over finances, which is so stressful. Who wouldn't get pissed when the first thing you heard early in the morning was them arguing?

I just want to let this thing go, so I decided to publish this instead of the one that I have in my drafts. I was supposed to publish the one in my draft last night, but I was preoccupied then fell asleep.

Right after I woke up, I then grabbed my phone and plugged my earphones in with full volume, and listened to Twenty One Pilot and had my own peaceful world.

I was listening to Twenty One Pilot's "Stressed Out" and that's where I got the title of this topic.


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Author's Note:

Thank you guys for dropping by and spending some time reading this article of mine. I truly appreciate all of your likes, comments and upvotes. Love lots!

You can always hit the Like and Subscribe button if you want to. I'd be very happy if you would lol.

Arrigathankyougozaimuch :>

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Avatar for Jinifer
3 years ago

Comments

Hugs, sis!!!!!

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3 years ago

Mao jud na syay kasagaran kasamokan sis,labi nag daghan mong namuyo sa balay.Laban lang ,kaya ra nimo ,I believe, you're a strong woman😊

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3 years ago

It is not easy, especially in this pandemic to save money. I hope they take your advice though, so you can use your money to do up your room. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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3 years ago

I kinda feel what you're writing about. Somethings in our family happen without us knowing or without our consent, yet we have to bear the burden along with them. It sucks, but I hope that they know how much you've sacrificed and soon all the debts will be done with.

Stay strong and don't let the stress pin you down 🙂

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3 years ago

Oh gosh, pinag daanan kp din yan noon. Buhay nw parang patay kasi blanko ang isipan ko. Good thing nalampasan ko gosh, I hate that moment of my life. And ayaw ko ng bumalik sa ganyang state. Nakakaloka ee.

Bast don't think too much din. Mahahanapan mo din ng solution yang kung anomang dinadala mo ngsyon. Basta fighting 💪🏿💪🏿🤗🤗

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3 years ago

Thank youuuu ateeee 🤧🥰 I always try to divert my attention talaga sa ibang bagay para at least makalimutan ko yung problema ko kahit ilang oras lang.
Laban lang tayo, we'll get through it 🤘🤘

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3 years ago

Yesuuu, ganyan lang dapat fighting lang diba 🤗🤗

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3 years ago

I hate that feeling of not knowing why you are depressed or sad!it is going to be ok dear, have u considered a change in environment for a while?

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3 years ago

I'm gonna be okay, not now, but soon. Everything's gonna be fine. Thanks for your concern, I truly appreciate it ❣️

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3 years ago

Haven't I out it in my Article that I loved 21 Pilots? Their beat is awesome and so their songs. The primary problem a normal family have is a financial problem. But we can still fix let's just learn how to control money. An elderly say to me. "Don't work for the money, make the money work for you"

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3 years ago

That's what I love about TøP and they're one of my faves. Hahaha And your article, nah, haven't heard of it. What was your article, I'll check it out.

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3 years ago

Pera tlga Ang ugat minsan bakit nagkakaproblema. And ayun nga feel ko yung may gusto ka bilhin pero dmo agawa Kasi puro utang

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Kaya nga minsan nalang ako bumubili ng gusto ko kasi mas inuuna ko sila. Pero hindi rin naman talaga ako mahilig bumili ng kung ano ano haha

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3 years ago

Basta kwarta na ang problema gubot gyud. Makagubaay gyud na sa adlaw ng ing-ana sis. Imbes ganahan ta nga good vibes atung morning para good vibes pud ta whole day. Sagdi lang sis, maimpas ra ng tanang utang basta dili lang pud dugangan.😁

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3 years ago

Mao lage, maimpas raman gyud Ang utang kung dili pun an, pero unsaon taman nga daghan mag loan hahahaays

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3 years ago

Its okay dzai lahat talaga need umutang kahit anong kayod para maka survive everyday. But, i hope in the future hindi na natin kailangan gawin yan para sa pang araw-araw. Keep praying ❤️🙏

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3 years ago

Yasss! Sasusunod sila na yung uutang at hindi na kami hahahaha

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3 years ago

I think your mood is off just because of the environment around. Because sometimes your mood depend upon environment. If people are happy around you then your mood automatically becomes happy after seeing them. Well! I suggest you in these days try to give a break from everything and do something diffrent for two or three days. You will become fresh and more active.

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3 years ago

Thank you my friend. Yeah, I always try to divert my attention into something so that I can at least forget my problems

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3 years ago

That is good for you and for your health.

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3 years ago

I feel you, the more we matured the more we need money whahaha. And we began to exercise that money can't just pick like stone in the road hehe.

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3 years ago

The older we get, the more we realize that money indeed buy happiness HAHAH

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3 years ago

Trrruuer huhuhu. Nakaka bad vibes talaga yung may utang sis. Ako nga stress na stress na ako sa mga utang na dapat kong bayaran eh. Jusko, di ako makapag ipon2 dahil sa mga utang na yan.

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3 years ago

Wala koy utang pero ako ang nag problema HAHAH kay ang problema sa akong pamilya Kay akoa pung problema 🤦‍♀️

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3 years ago

I feel you, sis. The financial problem causes a lot of trouble in our family. It makes me sad every time I think of the debt we have to pay.huhu

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3 years ago

Kami ani walay kahumanan nga bayranan. Lami na kaayo mo adto sa laing lugar HAHAH

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3 years ago

Dijud bitaw mawala ning utang ay huhu, labad sa ulo

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3 years ago

Everything will be fine. Trust God's process he will surely help and surpass all the challenges we have in life. 🙏

Me too sis sometimes I feel like empty. No good moods and feel unmotivated. I always did is to find a motivational ways and pray...🙏

God bless you sis..🙏

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3 years ago

Thanks so much sis. God bless you too ✨

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3 years ago

You're always welcome sis..🥰

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3 years ago

Kht ako ay maiinis kpg first thing in the morning ay ingay maririnig ko.. .ako tlga uung taong gusto nh katahimikan haha

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3 years ago

Hahahha ganyan na ganyan din ako eh, tas sino ba naman hindi ma bibwisit kung yun agad bubungad pagka gising 🤧

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3 years ago

I don't like borrowing and I am of the belief that when you start saving the little you have daily, it will definitely become big someday. Sorry about your mood and situation right now. Thank God you chose to listen to music to make you overcome the worries and frustrating moment.

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3 years ago

That's what I always believe to, that every small amount we save, will grow bigger day by day. But as much as I want to save some, I just couldn't because of financial problem 🤧

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3 years ago

Such an uncommon writing. Talking about hidden face, hidden personality. It’s the origin talking.

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3 years ago

Relate ako dito. Pera talaga at utang ang main problem sa bahay. Ako eh maybutang honestly, sa lending sya. Pero malapit na matapos. And si husband eh gusto pa irenew pero ayoko. Buti sana kung may work sya at sya ang magbabayad. Eh wala, ako din nagbabayad kaya ayoko tlaga, sakit sa ulo maghanap ng pambayad.

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3 years ago

sakit talaga sa ulo yung utang, naaawa na nga ako kay mama eh. Hays, kung pwede lang tumae ng pera HAHAH

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3 years ago

Yan din sabi ko sa kanya hahaha.. Buti sana kung tumatae ako ng pera😂

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3 years ago

Chismosang palaka here...Bakit ikaw ang nagbabayad ng utang na hindi naman ikaw ang nangutang? Dapat yung pera mo iniipon mo para sa sarili mo at hindi pangbayad sa utang ng iba :(.

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3 years ago

hays,, kung pwede lang sana hahah kaya lang family eh, ayoko matawag na selfish HAHAH bigay nalang hanggat sa may maibigay. :>

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3 years ago

Ganun? Eh sila naman nangutang nun..

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3 years ago