We Are All Beautiful, It's The Character That Makes Us Ugly

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
2 years ago

September 3, 2021

How do you define beauty?

Some define beauty as everything that makes them feel good- in nature, people, in songs, art, things, places, etcetera. @FarmGirl

Some are minding a good physical outlook for the sake of getting a beautiful product to avoid getting misfortunes in life. @Eybyoung

Some see beauty in little things because of their beautiful eyes. They can see beauty from the curve of the lips, to the pointed nose, the flipping hair, even with the rain, because beauty is all around us. @Olasquare

Some say human beauty is relative because we all have different preferences and that refers to beauty is in the eye of the beholder. @Hart05

But some have a beauty that they never see because they never thought they are until somebody reminds them of their beauty. @emily2u


When we were young, we were told the definition of beauty as anything that pleases our sense of sight. In some sense, it is used to compliment things, generally used for approval.

  • A boss praising his employee who did his job well done, "Excellent! Keep it up."

  • A mother praising her kid for doing chores by himself, "Very good son."

  • A boyfriend seeing his girlfriend in a good outfit and make-up, "You are beautiful today hon."

  • A kid seeing a butterfly landed on a flower, "Mom look! A beautiful butterfly and flower!"

Those are just examples of how different people use the term beautiful in different ways.

Just like others, I have a different definition of beauty as well, and it differs from when I was young where I only literally define beauty as anything pleasing to my eyes. A beautiful lady for me was something with a beautiful face, from the eyes, nose, smile, lips, and body shape. A beautiful thing for me was something with beautiful color and shape.

Why? Because that is how people and the world define the term beauty, something pleasing to us and our eyes.

Going down memory lane, I was directly called ugly by my relatives because I looked different from my mother. This relative of mine is pretty, of course, it runs in my mother's side family as other people say. Unfortunately, I was unlucky not to inherit that beauty from my family because I looked too different from them. From my color to physical attributes, I even thought that I don't belong to our clan and I was just adopted by my mother. My skin was so dark, probably because of playing long under the sun and inherited from my father's skin, and my appearance was totally different from my mother's.

It happened one day when this relative paid a visit. She looked at me weirdly and have spoken some words that were engraved in my memory and still vivid clear up to this date.

"Manuel (my father) is not ugly, where did your kid inherit her physical attributes?" My relative asked my mother.

The moment I heard those hurtful words, I stepped into my room and stayed there until she left the house.

My mother once told us not to interact with the visitors or play in the living room if there are other people in the house because she doesn't want us to be called "pasaway" or naughty kids. But it wasn't just the reason why I was staying away from the visitors and other people, I was locking myself inside my room because I don't want other people to see the ugly duckling me.

When I was a kid, I wasn't confident with myself and had very low self-esteem. And that may be how I started forming an introverted self. That's how I defined beauty back then. I thought the only beautiful creatures in this world are those that incorporate the literal definition of beauty, having a pleasing physical appearance.

As we grew up and saw the world exponentially, social media and the culture around us bombarded our minds with beautiful examples and photos showing different definitions of beauty. How people dress, smile, as well as products that will make people look beautiful in the eyes of many.

I was a person who wanted to improve my physical beauty, so I dived into the new society and tried to look beautiful in the eyes of other people as well. I started to mind and take care of myself especially when I stepped into the stage of puberty. The same with other people on this stage, we learned how to use products that will make us pretty in front of the mirror. We changed the way we dress and act, to look decent in front of other people.

Despite the changes, I still looked ugly in my eyes and I accepted it and just let it be. What can I do with that? That's what God gave me, I thought.

But as I gained wisdom and learned how to appreciate simple things in this world, I started to view the other side of beauty.

One day my college classmate wants me to be his girlfriend. That day I thought I wasn't really ugly because someone likes me. My professor then told me "you are blooming" and even asked me to join the pageant for Foundation Day. But ramping in front of the crowd and wearing revealing clothes weren't my forte. After a year of living in the city, I went back to my province and my auntie told me "you are getting lighter." When I was taking my ID photo in a shop, I was required to smile to look better in my photo. The staff then told me, "you have a beautiful smile" and I smiled even wider. With those compliments, I started to think that I wasn't really too ugly, lol. And the ugly duckling started to evolve into a swan.

With this, I can say that the true beauty of a person starts to be revealed on the puberty stage like how we started to unfold the real story of the world. And a person will start to glow once she appreciates her own beauty.

And as the world started to evolve, people started to embrace the changes as well. The world has become full of aesthetics and people go along with the trend and fashion. They are wearing pretty dresses and make-up just to look beautiful in front of other people. Because they don't want to receive criticism. Some are even using concealers just to hide their flaws. The world seemed to only accept the literal definition of beauty. And people are making ways just to fit in the society.

At work, my colleague once said to someone with pretty attire, "even how pretty your clothes are, if your face is ugly, you are still ugly." That was the only line I remembered from this colleague of mine who was so full of himself and likes to criticize other people because he's a son of a fiscal officer.

In the lavatory, one of our workmates was putting concealer on her face to cover her pimple marks. She looked beautiful after she retouched and then she stepped out. But on the other side, other workmates were whispering behind her back, calling her ugly stuff. And they continued to spread gossip about her even until they left the comfort room.

No matter how we conceal our flaws, people will always find ways to reveal them. But who looks ugly here? It's not the one with an ugly face, but those who are criticizing other people just because they are more powerful or look better than them.

There was one video about a beauty pageant in our hometown I watched last 2018 and all candidates have their unique beauties. The winner wasn't really beautiful but she won the crown. In fact, among all the candidates, she was the shortest, not sexy, and the not-so-pretty one. Why did she win? Because she slammed the stage with her excellent answer during the Q&A. Then some of the commenters of the video criticized the most beautiful candidate, "what's the use of beauty if the brain is empty?"

As time passed by, this line became a famous expression showing that "beauty without a brain is useless" and so people should also mind not just their beauty but also their brains.

Another former officemate of mine likes buying beautiful stuff for herself - makeup, clothes, shoes, bags - and always working on how to make herself pretty in front of other people. Their house happened to be just next to my boarding house and so I always saw her walking outside with her sexy clothes, high-heeled shoes, and she's very proud of her beauty. But wait for her to open her mouth, because almost every line she uttered has profanity words as part of her daily expressions, together with her friends in the same feathers, they all flocked together. At her home, I can hear her family shouting at each other using profanity words as well. No wonder why her character was ugly because she was raised in an ugly environment.

Some people are more busy building beautiful faces than building their beautiful character. Remember that your character is more important than any material possession you have, including your physical attributes. A beautiful dress, shoes, and makeup turn ugly when the character of the person wearing them is not beautiful. Even how beautiful you are, your character will always define your real self.


We are in this world full of filters and aesthetics to enhance our beauty and fix or cover our flaws. Because this filtered world convinced us that pleasing things are what we should aspire to be like. People are trying many ways, switching from one product to another to meet the criterion of beauty. I, myself, have been a victim of bullying and experienced insecurities too. I even tried changing my body shades for the sake of fitting into the standard of beauty. Because a whiter complexion can also add beauty, as many Filipinos thought.

But I got sick of this beauty standard and appreciate what I have. I'm just dressing nicely just to be decent and not to make myself beautiful in the eyes of other people. Just like what @Bloghound said, love thy skin. We have to stay away from the strain to be perfect and learn how to appreciate our own beauty and love ourselves again.

True beauty isn't just about having a pleasing appearance because true beauty lies deep within. And all things were intricately created by God to be unique and beautiful and that includes us. Even a withered flower is still beautiful. The old tree is still beautiful. A mother's wrinkled skin is still beautiful. Our grandparents' white hair is beautiful. Shattered glass is beautiful. A nostalgic dirty wall is beautiful. Raindrops dropping on the mud are beautiful.

I remember what my grandmother told us before, "a concrete house is ugly if the inside part of it is muddy." What she meant was, a pretty house isn't pretty if the inside of it is dirty.

So what's the use of building a concrete pretty house if people living in it don't know how to clean it? It will still look ugly in the eyes of other people.

It's the same with us humans. Many are busy with making themselves pretty just to fit in the society and the standard of beauty, but not giving time to build their character beautifully.

What is the use of building your physical character beautifully if deep inside you are rotting like a smelly fish?

"We are all beautiful, it's the character that makes us ugly"

This is the answer of @HappyAlice in my post on noisecash that inspires me to make this title.

We all need to realize that our beauty wasn't made to last forever. Because as we age, beauty fades. We should not be insecure with beautiful people around us because we are beautiful too. We just need to appreciate our own beauty and not be discouraged by the world's perception.

Rather, we should build a beautiful character that will last forever and that will be remembered by the people around us. And as we reach our ultimatum in this world, we will live on eternity with Christ.

Image from: http://merryrema-godlylady.blogspot.com/2013/12/you-are-altogether-beautiful-my-love.html

This is my entry for the prompt #15 Beauty by @JonicaBradley

If you want to join.

Hey beautiful, thanks for reading πŸ˜‰

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2 years ago

Comments

Nung nag work lang ako sa cebu saka ako nabully na panget ako. Pag me pinost ako sa FB, laging negative sinasabi nila. Kesyo ang ganda ko lang sa FB kasi face lang naman nakikita dun. In short, face lang maganda sakin, hindi yung buong physical appearance. So what I did, post ako ng post until mabwisit sila. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Hindi naman per hour ang posting pero every day me selfie talaga. 🀣🀣🀣

Pero ang sama ng ugali ng tita mo. Nabwisit ako sa kanya. Ngayon nganga siya kasi ang ganda ganda mo na. Para ka ngang me lahing chinese e. Tas ang talino mo pa. ☺️

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Grabe dami pla comments na hndi ko nareplayan 🀣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Looking at the skin color tone has caused another issue in the community today, in football it has caused racism where many footballers are hated because of their skin color tone and it is disheartening to judge people by skin tone. Though at times people who are left alone depressed but it doesn't really make sense.

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2 years ago

All your information is correct. I also like these flowers a lot. And we also have a flowering tree in our house. I look after this flowering tree every day. The flower you first shared with us is called 'Noyontara' flowers in our area. It is a variety of colors. 😍

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2 years ago

The sad thing about relatives is that they are often the ones to bring us down. They would often make comments about us that isn't asked of them. They make it seem like a joke when confronted not knowing that what they said would hurt us very deeply. And it's like what you said, beauty in not all about appearance. But what lies within us, a beautiful heart and a wonderful soul.

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2 years ago

Remember mo Yung article ko about eheads? Ako Yung babaeng naglalakad noon haha. Nung Bata ako madalas ako mabully Kasi pangit nga daw ako pero as I grew older natutunan ko na Hindi nmn lahat tungkol sa physical appearance.

$ 0.03
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Same.dami tlga natn nabubully nung kabataan..dugyot pa kc tyo nun 🀣

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2 years ago

Dugyot amp πŸ™ˆ

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

You shared a really needed article for everyone. Nowadays people think that beauty means just looking good, smart, white skin, attitude etc. But its not rights. I think that to be a beauty person we all should know good behaviour, be honest,pure heart and good human

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2 years ago

Beauty, true beauty is appreciating oneself, we are all unique in our own ways... You are right, as we age, beauty fades - facial appeals, but true lies within.

That was a very hurtful thing to hear at such an age, I'm glad you stood your ground.

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2 years ago

That's why I'm confident. Kahit anong sabihin nila sakin kahit puno ako ng pimple marks sa mukha wala silang magagawa maganda padin ako. Wala din pong panget sa paningin ko lahat naaapreciate ko and kinakaibigan ko. Nakatatak na po kasi sakin na iyon yung binigay sakanila ng panginoon na dapat e ipagpasalamat padin po natin. ☺️ Kahit ano nga pong itsura ko sa harap ng salamin I always compliment my self kahit may muta pa na ang ganda ko parin 🀣 HAHAHA tsaka tama po kayo anong silbi po ng kagandahan ng isang tao if panget naman po ng ugali ano? Hays..

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2 years ago

In my opinion, external beauty depends on the eyes of the beholder. For me, a beautiful person is the one who has a big heart. Not because of what she says she does but because of what she is seen to have done. External beauty changes, it transforms with time or money, there are variables that modify it but the beauty of the heart is only one that is maintained over time and is in accordance with the life of the person.

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2 years ago

All things are actually beautiful..people just need to look at them dearly... But what matters most is a beautiful heart..

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2 years ago

I also agree. I won't mind hanging out with people this society calls as ugly, as long as they have beautiful souls, and I know I'll grow with them as better person. Than being with a beautiful lady that all people thrist for, when I'm just gonna be surrounded by toxicity.

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2 years ago

The world is already toxic.. We humans shouldn't add more toxicity here πŸ˜…πŸ€£

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2 years ago

Oo nga, sana pag toxic nawawala agad sa Erthm Oops, joke lang hehe.

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2 years ago

Digging deep into the past sometimes brings you millions of reasons to appreciate who you have become.

I think your relatives weren't fair with calling you ugly because they ought to know that it would affect your self-esteem and I am glad you didn't let that affect your connection with the universe as you grow.

Look at how beautiful you have become, you are one of the most beautiful people I have met.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I don't really like that relative of mine.. She is pretty, but a bad ass.

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2 years ago

it is character... beauty fades in time, that beauty that we see outwards but what's inside is that stays ... that's the true beauty...

$ 0.02
2 years ago

In my mother's village they always say if you are so pretty and you don't have good behavior you are so ugly so ever since then been beautiful is not from what am seeing aside from nature because nature can't hide anything

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2 years ago

Very well said, Jane. Beauty fade over time.. and intellect as well, sad to say. What will pull us through is our character and how we treat others around us.

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2 years ago

Exactly.. An aspect that we should build beautifully

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2 years ago

True words, Janey... true words. No one is truly ugly and sometimes it's the perception of others. Humans are so vile with words that they can crumble the best of castle with their unguarded and thoughtless statements. I guess we all have those kind of aunts that would just speak anyhow. One of my aunt once told me I looked so rough. I went inside the room and cried. I told God that I wanted to be fresh and handsome...oh well...I got my prayer answered hahaha.

The Miss World that came from Nigeria; Agbani Darego. She wasn't the most prettiest of the contestants but she won. Beauty is relative. While others focus on the appearance, some focus on smartness and intelligence.

How beautifully you have evolved, Janey. What a beautiful swam you are... ❀️

$ 0.06
2 years ago

I went inside the room and cried. I told God that I wanted to be fresh and handsome...oh well...I got my prayer answered hahaha.

You got me there 🀣🀣 If we could wish that way then be granted right away 🀣 everything will be fine haha

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2 years ago

Hahahaha that's so true, though. We can have whatever we want hahaha.

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2 years ago

A person may be beautiful but still be bitter, its not all about beauty, If it was every beautiful person will be married or rich

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2 years ago

It's just good there is what we call "awakening" where we learn to break out from society's standards about "beauty." Thank you for the mention beautiful soul :)

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2 years ago

Welcome beautiful 😘

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2 years ago

❀thank you

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2 years ago

Exactly, beauty isn't all about the physical attributes but it's really about the beauty that lies within us. The so called inner beauty is the real beauty of a human being. Beauty will just fades as time pass by unlike the inner beauty that will always live within until our last breathe and it will never fade😊 NEVER. Good eve sis 😊

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2 years ago

Indeed.. And we are beautiful 😁

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2 years ago

Exactly sis

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2 years ago

True 😍😍 I remember my teenage years as well as I look back with my Facebook photos and I even tell myself I am really ugly if I see myself in my physical aspects. I have burnt skin that made me darker than the usual Filipina color. And I am fat that makes me more smaller. But if I remember myself before I never feel very ugly at all. I am confident with my own skin and I was never bullied because I have strong personality and complexion. it is indeed how you feel and think of yourself that matters and physical aspect is not really the most important but the attitude.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Hinahanap ko nga photo ko nung high school ako. CAT graduation namin. As n pra akong sunog dun 🀣

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2 years ago

Haha ako din. Buti nga sayu para Lang ako talaga sunog na sunog πŸ˜‚ Sali ka din pala Ng CAT ako din 😁😁

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2 years ago

Pag talaga tumatanda nag iiba yung mga perception at definition natin sa mga bagay,bagay ne. I've experienced yung kinukumpara kami sa nanay ko na bakit daw di namin nakuha yung kulay ng skin niya then always saying that bu one of our relatives. Nakakairita kasi paulit ulit niya sinasabi buti na lng huminto na siya. Relative din namin yun

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Sobra layo tlga color ko kay mama 🀣 at mga little sisters ko nga ngayon. Nagman kulay kay mama ako lng maitim ata 🀣 Kaya nga hndi ako palalabas samin..kc mga tap hilig magcompare

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2 years ago

Sobrang mean naman nong relatives niyo na yun, kahit na siguro bata maintindihan yung mga pinagsasabi niya. And what I hate the most is yung mga taong GGSS, tas ang panget ng mga ugali 🀒

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2 years ago

Haha. Ganun yung officemate ko. Pro ganda naman tlga nya sexy pa laki bobbie at bottie 🀣 kaso lage may mura kung magsalita.. Puro chismis pa atupag during break time.

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2 years ago

Indeed, there is no exact definition of beauty for beauty depends on how we see it. It depends on the individual how they perceive it. What we considered beautiful may be ugly to others and we can't make them change what they see.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Everything in this world is art. And all art is beautiful.. So we all are beautiful..we just have our own unique beauty..

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2 years ago

Different point of view from different person sound unique. Beauty that what society said is very hard to get and it's society standard of beauty. Having this and having that. But fighting the society is by accepting the flaws we had.

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2 years ago

Indeed.. It's just a matter of acceptance m. In fact, sometimes that flaws are what make us unique and beautiful

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2 years ago

Well said. The more different we are the attractive😊

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2 years ago

Lovely article madam Jane, I think I will also participate in this prompt and do a piece on beauty

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2 years ago

What is the usefulness of beauty when you do not have anything in your brain? Most people think buying clothes, shoes, designers etc are what makes them beautiful, many of them are so dull and empty that they can't contribute successfully to the growth of something in People's lives.

We need to understand that beauty is your good character, traits and the attitude you possess.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Things that you have mama. So you are beautiful πŸ˜‰

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2 years ago

if we have the inner side filled with beauty, automatically it will show on our face and that glow will make us beautiful. But if we we are not beautiful from inside, the outer beauty will be faded day by day

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Indeed.. Because no matter how you hide it inside, it will always comes out

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2 years ago

So true lang talaga, ang ganda ganda nong iba peto kaiitim naman ng budhi. Kanila na nila ang ganda nila. Saksak nila sa baga nila. Ang gaganda kukupas yan, pero yong katangian mo, ung kabutihan mo yan ang mas tatatak sa madla.

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2 years ago

Tama.. Kya wag na mainsecure sa sexy ladies. Ganda mo madam 😁

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2 years ago

Everything is tackled and discussed thoroughly. 🧑

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2 years ago

Totoo yan, our character defines us.. We are all born beautiful pero kung basura ang ugali mo, basura ka na as a whole🀭 naku my mouth tlga sensya naπŸ™‚ good vibes lang

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2 years ago

Haha. .sobra pa sa basura 🀣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That just make you even more beautiful. Self-love is all that matters - accepting who you are really are. That relative of yours is just mean. I remember when I was little I was thought to be adopted for I looked different from my siblings. Made me feel special actually lol!

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2 years ago

Haha...ako abnoy hindi special 🀣🀣

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2 years ago

This is such a lovely post. Character is indeed more important

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2 years ago

Someone's character is important .

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2 years ago

Your topic says it all. Beauty is about character and not about outlook or anything else.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Ako lang yata talaga walang pake sa mga pa beauty2x hahah! Pero ngayon nahahawa ako sa mga kasama ko sa work, importante pala mag sunblock lalo na pag traveling PT ako kya naglalagay na rin ako hahah! gaya2x bah...

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2 years ago

Haha. Ako dn naman nag susunblock 🀣 ang init kya dto

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2 years ago

Ganyan din ako noon, hahaha. I mean sinasabihan ako na baka ampon lang ako, saan daw ako nagmana kasi sa amin 3 magkakapatid, ako ang pinakamaganda, charot, hahahaha.. Nainsecure tlaga ako. Kaya there were times na malayo ako sa mga kapatid ko noon bata pa kami, siguro kasi nga dahil mas magaganda sila sa akin. Pero buti na lang eh naembrace ko kung ano ako. I might be not so pretty but I love myself, i have learned to accept the flaws that I have and I am happy with that..

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2 years ago

Same. We all have flaws and we should embrace them.. Bhla na mata ng iba mang lait 🀣

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2 years ago

KorekπŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Although I matter physical appearance, I still matter most the attitude, it will always weigh than the physical attributes. But still, I am practical when it comes to chosing partner hahaha.

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2 years ago

Basta kap tanggap na single forever kya di na minamind ang ganyan 🀣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yieh! We are all beautiful because God made us all. 😻 But same. I also experienced a lot of bullying because of my physical appearance, and skin complexion. But still, I'm beautiful no matter what they say, words can't bring me down. Charot. Kanta na pala yan. 🀣

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2 years ago

Napakanta nga ako eh 🀣

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2 years ago

Sana all po ate nag-glow up hehe. Wallet lang yata nag-glow up sa akin eh hehe. Anyway, agree ako sa last line na sinabi niyo hehe. Kaya di ako naniniwala sa pogi typings na yan since kukupas rin yan hehe. Aanhin mo ang kaguwapuhan kung wala ka namang pera haha joke

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2 years ago

🀣🀣 isa pa yan. Buti sna kung pwd ibenta ang fes 🀣

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2 years ago

Indeed beautiful character is more important than the physical one, as it fades when we grow older. The character will make our legacy not just a pretty face.

Thank you for including my articles miss Jane :))

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2 years ago

That's it. The legacy that we will leave in this world..not our beauty but our character

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2 years ago

Even though am cute and beautiful enough, but once in a life i faced such conditios for a month that some of my fake friends start telling me you are not too much beautiful, From that Time i got conscious about myself and all time busy in applying different things on my face and faced a lots of anger from my Mom, and she said me inner beauty is much matter than the outer and if you thought good things and do good deeds your face automatically glow and now i try to adopt this tip of life to make myself beautiful.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Oh so you are cute 😁 you'll be much cuter with a beautiful heart πŸ™ƒ

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2 years ago

No one is ugly truly. We need to love ourselves and as we try our best to make our faces beautiful, we should also consider beautifying our hearts too.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

True

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2 years ago

The different perspectives of beauty are based on individual subjective views. As for me, true beauty should be coherent. Physical and inner beauty.

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2 years ago

Indeed.. Both should exist

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2 years ago

Aww dahil dito nadagdagan pa ulit confident ko. 🀧 Ang dami ko talagang natutunnan sa article niyo ni ate ebyoung, bloghound, ropa, expertwriter, at iba pa. everytime na nag babasa ako grabi kayo makapag encourage. 🀧❀️

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Ganun tlga. Pra may sense yung content at mainspire yung readersn😁

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2 years ago

True Ate! Aanhin ang ganda kung mabaho naman! Umaalingasaw ang sama ng ugali.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Tama. Pangit parn tingnan

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2 years ago

I knew so many people! Hahays.

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2 years ago

Korek! We are all beautiful madam. Pero before I felt so ugly but when I was working when I smile people said I look beautiful when I smile so I thought smiling makes me pretty. I don't have a pretty face, but I know I'm a good enough human being and feeling good inside makes you beautiful as well. And even someone is beautiful if her attitude sucks we really don't appreciate the beauty.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

True.. Character really matters.. But for me madam you are beautiful..and I admire your Filipina beauty πŸ₯°

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2 years ago