Disclaimer: Inside this article is my personal preference and opinions, I don't intend to discriminate (black people) as Asian people are into white (but not all) or to encourage people to have the same opinion. Nor I discriminate those who have physical deformities, I highly respect and salute them for being strong despite their appearance. Read at your own risk.
In dating, I think most care about pleasing personality first before minding the attitude, I mean we were attracted to looks first before knowing attitude. For me I tend to go out with those attractive ones before, I care about looks because I am not that beauty queen type, so I have to find a good match of genes to pair with mine to have good results lol.
My motto before was “Always think about the future generations looks, especially your child”. I admit I don't go with guys who are less attractive than me, I was thinking what if he impregnates me without plans, I care for my future child's appearance.
Why do I care about looks?
First off, my future child's appearance is my concern, and why I am so concerned with my child's appearance?
When I was younger I look very ugly, I am untidy because I used to work on the farm with my mother. We used to plant corn, sugarcane, rice, sweet potato, etc. I was exposed to sunlight causing my skin to darken. I don't have nice clothes to wear because we are poor, we cannot afford to buy new clothes from time to time, no skin care and etc.
Because of that, I look ugly in the eyes of people, and.. more reasons occur why I was concerned with my children's appear.
To avoid being bullied
I want my child to have a pleasing personality, so they will avoid getting bullied by people because they are ugly.
Some people are ruthless, bully, and judgemental, when you look uglier or have physical deformities they'll make fun of you.
Some will make you laughing stuff just like those people who make fun of other people on social media because of their physical disabilities.
To avoid being the primary suspect of a crime
Some people will accuse those ugly people first if there are crimes that happen or even if there is no crime yet, they'll suspect you already that you'll do worse if you have an ugly appearance.
It's like your appearance has been the basis of trust or your character in general, some will think you have an ugly face then probably you'll have an ugly character as well.
Most people will point their fingers first at the ugly ones compared to those who have pleasing personalities.
People will like to accompany those who have pleasing than those nonpleasing personality
I remember my cousin before, she used to deny me at school that we were cousins because I was untidy as I don't have nice clothes to wear and my skin is darker.
When we have relative reunions, they'll call me “lagum” it's a Visayan word for black or untidy (well this is just in our country as Asian mostly likes white people) but I don't call black people ugly. Forgive us, it's in our culture that we are into white because we we're conquered by Spaniards long time ago, and that our native believe that white and having long nose are handsome and beautiful.
Usually, my friends when I was still a grade-schooler, are the same as me. Those who have a darker complexion and don't have nice clothes to wear.
Some people who believe they are pretty don't like to hang out with us who are untidy in their eyes.
Pleasing personality have more opportunities
This one hits you when you're already an adult finding job or any opportunities, in our country it always requires a pleasing personality. If you are not pleasing in their eyes you will not be qualified especially if you are applying for a certain position that requires beauty.
If you have a good height you'll have many opportunities even if you didn't finish a bachelor's degree, I encountered this when I was applying for a job in Manila.
If you are pretty and handsome opportunity is always there but if you are less attractive, don't have a better height, fair skin color complexion you will always be discriminated against. That's the harsh truth of reality, especially if you are not born with a silver spoon pleasing personality is an asset to have more opportunities.
Closing Thoughts
So I will be blunt to admit that I matter physical outlooks because I want my child to have plus when they grow, to avoid getting bullied, and to have more opportunities in life. After all, we are not rich, that we can provide an opportunity to them. They will look for it and make their own fortune, and I think having beauty is a plus.
I even think finding afam (foreigner) before so I can have a good offspring lol. But I was never single since 18, so no more space for afam 😂 but I did chose a carrier of genes that is good enough to pair with mine.
I know beauty is relevant, we all have unique beauty but I want my child to be on the majority standard of beauty so they'll never be out of place, or they can compete or have a good spot in the society, although we should not mind society we can never deny the fact it can affect our growth.
If ever, I've got a special child (with some physical problems or anything, I hope not) I will do everything to protect them, embrace and love them. But as much as possible I want them to be normal, so they'll not suffer much in this cruel world. In Jesus Name, Amen.
So how about you? Do you matter physical appearance before liking someone?
P.S my noise. The cash guide is still in progress, so I'll publish this finished draft. Thank you for reading!
Date Published: August 31, 2021
I think most of us can relate to this especially during childhood days where we feel insecure to those who are blessed with beautiful faces and skin. It is because of the society we live in, where those who are gifted mostly in physical appearance ang mostly umaangat.