She Found A Helping Hand, I Found A Shoulder To Cry On

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
2 years ago

December 13, 2021

Some things make me believe that not everything happens for a reason but because of wrong decisions, and others are only consequences of our wrong actions. But when unexpected things happen, I just eat those words and believe that there are really things that are meant to happen. And that is to teach us lessons, to evaluate things, to acknowledge the situation, and face the reality, to value the undervalued ones, and most especially, to identify who is real, and who isn't.

A month ago, I wanted to run away. From this toxic job, the world, and people causing toxic thoughts in my mind. People that kept dragging the past to the present. Although some things in the past are worth bringing forward, some are just worth forgetting and leaving in the past.

Until things reached their peak and a vital aspect of my life called for more attention and wanted me to take a breather. But during those days, dark clouds started to form and I had no one to vent the heavy feelings out. Even if I did it here which I considered a wall of freedom, some only judged me.

If there is one thing I learned from these recent struggles, that is, "the more you admit your mistakes and reveal your true self, the more people would dig into it and they would judge you. The more you put effort and emotions into your work, the more people would doubt it." And I know that this is also a consequence of my wrong action in the past. However, we all have done mistakes as we are only human, so we should not be so judgemental. And even if I just ignore things, they still linger in my mind.

This might be the reason why many are afraid to grow, afraid to try new things, afraid to speak out, because of what people will say towards them. And so they opted to remain as is, not to grow, or opt to keep the heavy feeling inside. And just like what Emily once mentioned in one of her articles, not all stories are worth sharing. Not exact words, but the same meaning.

Some stories are better kept because we have our perceptions and judgment towards the matter, especially when it's a personal story. Even some heavy feelings are better kept because not all are willing to listen when you vent them out. Some would just judge you and would think that you only wanted some sympathy.

When I posted my article I want to run away on Hive, someone said,

"Even if I speak up and do not fear to confess my heavy sentiments to them, they would always say something against me."

That was exactly what I felt during my darkest days. And I felt like I didn't want to believe what other people were saying to me anymore, or the compliments I was receiving. Like what I have commented on one of Florie's articles, I don't want to be praised, because I don't even know if they are compliments or insults. Some here would show sarcasm and insults indirectly, and what they want to convey is the opposite meaning of their words.

Along with my health issues and the people who triggered my anxiety, a monster was formed in my mind. My battle with the monster in my head was quite tough and staying in my abode and venting out my feelings were not helpful.

As PVM said:

"When everything becomes hectic and too fast ... just slow down! Stop and take a step back, and watch everything from the outside. Scrap all the things that are not essential and then press play again and keep on being amazing!"

Then I tried to move forward as I didn't want the monster to win. And he is right, "scrap all the things that are not essential and then press play again."

Until a friend of mine knocked on my door and asked for help. That's when I saw real people who are willing to help a stranger.

Maybe it happened for a reason just so we could catch up with each other again and evaluate things up. Because it's been a long time since we last communicated with each other, as I am more active in these two platforms.

Until then, I found someone with whom I can vent my heavy feelings out and who is willing to listen, not to judge.

She Found A Helping Hand, and I Found A Shoulder To Cry On

As she said,

"You don't need to prove yourself to others. If you can't beat them, join them, but kill them with kindness."

And just like what Infinity on Hive said, "love yourself first and don't mind the world and the people around you."

This is not only a message to me but to all of us. We shouldn't think "we are not good enough" and prove everything to others and please everyone. We should love ourselves first and shrug off the negativity around us so the monster won't form in our minds.

Just show kindness to everyone even if others are not.

The recent battles only taught me to remain strong, to stay positive for myself and others, discard the things that are not essential, and don't mind the people that are not worth minding. Just focus on the positive, ignore the negatives, and value the real ones. That's all that matters the most.

And unexpectedly, through this recent event, I found out that she also dreamed of becoming a writer and writing articles, and she just found a perfect platform to pursue her dream. Not now, but sooner when she fully recovered.

And I would always be grateful to this community for showing help to people in need. And that's what I should be thinking of, not the negatives. Besides, there are still beautiful souls in this community that are worth keeping and are willing to listen to your stories and willing to lend a helping hand.

Image from: https://www.wisdomlifequotes.com/hard-times-will-always-reveal-true-friends/

It's the Christmas season. Let's spread love not hate. Stay positive, shrug off the negative, and move forward from the past. Let bygones be bygones. Keep the lessons in mind and constantly remind yourself that, "you are good enough, you don't need to prove it to everyone, and you are exactly on the right track."

Thank you guys and Happy Monday.

©read.cash/@Jane (All Rights Reserved 2021)

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Comments

Jane, I resonate with you. A gentle act of kindness is required on this planet. Empathy can change the world from worse to better. We should be compassionate to our fellow citizens. But, criminals must be punished.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Reading this has made me realize that this life is full of people that aren't happy about our progress but we just have to keep striving to know the good people that are for us

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2 years ago

What should concern us is how we judge ourselves and not how others do. And in that sense, you should never have doubts about how much you are worth. You are amazing and you have to believe it. 😘

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Sorry 😥 I will always remember this.. Thank you

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2 years ago

Don't be sorry; it is very easy to feel bad about what others think or say about us, but the important thing is not to let that feeling affect who we are.

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2 years ago

Why hate? If you hate someone, it's time to make up. Don't let fear stop you. Always move towards a better future. You have the key to your own destiny.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I don't hate anyone even if they stab me 😅. Maybe they hate me lol.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Giving someone a lot of information about ourself will give that person power they can use against us; the power of knowledge. Over-familarity breeds contempt, sometimes it's good to be mysterious and give people a few information about you, it will limit the number of ways they can hurt you later 😊

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Indeed.. And we rather are ordinary than known.. Coz people will always say something bad about our every word and action.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.You can't be perfect at everything, and people around you will gladly cling to any flaw, blunder, or mistake you make. And no, people won't necessarily do it out of hatred or dislike for you, it's just that many people really enjoy criticizing others. No one knows you better than you know yourself. So you don't have to worry about the subjective evaluations of others.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Happy Monday ma'am Jane. Not all story are worth sharing because many won't understand and might make use of it in a negative way.

I remember my dad telling me that not all his experience in life can be said because some are not to be told.

It is during hard and difficult we discover true friends and loved ones. Not everyone does love us they might speak it with their lips "I love you" but mostly what they are benefiting from us make them say so

$ 0.03
2 years ago

While reading your article, I am happy to know that you have shoulder to lean on when you are down and crying at times.

But me, I am here alone in my boarding house , and if I every I have problem like last night I cry alone nobody comforts me nobody listen to me. That's why I handled it alone 🤗💖

$ 0.02
2 years ago

There is everything in the Lord's vineyard. And not all those who tell us they are our friends are. Sometimes people don't put themselves in other people's shoes. Sometimes we don't know how others feel until we go through the same situation.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yeah. And I proved it many times

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's actually human basic instinct. People will hate each other, Pitty each other, they loves to dominate others. We must conclude those completed stuffs and move on through it.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Natamaan ako dito sis .I also went through this before when I tried to be me and reveal the real me . Instead of making yourself happy that atlast your free from from revealing something more or most of people judge you like hello are you all perfect? Tsk . We really can't please people because this world Is unfair and people with "makitid na isip" are always unfair.

"the more you admit your mistakes and reveal your true self, the more people would dig into it and they would judge you. The more you put effort and emotions into your work, the more people would doubt it."

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Ganun tlga mga tao.. Lage may sasabihin kht wala ka ginagawa

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In this world full of toxic people, don't ever show your skeletons in your closet, at least that's what I believe. And yeah, that's right! You don't need to please other people, just do things that glorify the name of God.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Agree with this. Kya better keep the clothes that should be kept and only wear those presentable and would not be criticized by others

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Not all story are needed to tell and that's true, people will judge without knowing the story. Some will use the information they had to hurt and look down on you, that lind of people really exist and I hope they didn't. It's better to keep our mouth shut than to speak all up but when it's time to speak, we have and we should.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

very well said 'kill them with kindness'

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Whatever life throws at us, let us not forget to be kind. Keep doing that so that you don't have any regrets even if people try to keep bringing you down, hurting you and leaving you behind. You know in yourself that you did nothing wrong.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We do commit mistakes at times. But should not be the judge at all times.

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2 years ago

Merry Christmas to you Jane. Eventhoughyou dont wanted to be praise because you would never know if it is real or insult or what. Please do remember that a lot of people look up to you and are inspired by your story. Just look at the gift giving challenge of Coqui, there are a lot of people who wanted to give you presents.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thank you. I appreciate them all. This will be my last sentiment about the matter.

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2 years ago

that is what I always tell myself "be kind even if others are not" and always believe in yourself because no one knows you more than you know yourself. so cheer up and fight every battle that you think is really worth fighting for and turn your back on things that don't matter. Be strong always jane

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thanks

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Love is the greatest gift we can give. We all have it at our disposal. It's never too big or too small to give. Merry Christmas in advance ate.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Same to you happy boy Valour 🙂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I totally agree with you. People would always throw blames at you and thats why its not advisable to open up to everybody about what you are passing through. It takes strength to be able to bottle our emotions and solve things our own way. But as soon as you demystify your self , a lot of people who thought you strong would start having less regards because they have seen your vulnerabilities. .. In conclusion, people can't destroy what they don't know. That's why I hardly explain to people or complain ☺

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Spreading love can be done in many ways, introducing something that pays for her passion is a great way of sharing love this Christmas

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Stay strong ka Lang sis. Kaya Yung motto ko. This is my life and I will roll it the way I want it. So kahit ano pang sabihin ng ibang Tao di ako ngpapaapekto. Di naman kasi magmomove Yung life ko if lagi ko silang pinakikinggan. Focus nalang ako sa goal sa buhay at sa pamilya ko.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

True.. Focus nlng sa self.. And value more those who are worthy

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes better that way

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2 years ago

The most important thing in this temporary world is the love, the greatest love of all. Advance Merry Christmas to you friend i hope your Christmas will be fulfilled with love from your family.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Let's spread love to others and don't hate anyone,we don't need to prove that we are good to people we just need to do good and prove it to people,merry Christmas in advance sis.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Worthy friendship. That's why humanity still exists.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We can never please everyone all the time, so just place ourselves as top priority.

Also maybe you can write out what needs sharing and then just erase everything. It helps.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I better filter the stories I will share from now on.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This kind of thing happens all around us. It happens more in the case of love. I think you have a good experience about love😁. happy Christmas in advance sis.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Ipakilala ito ha club. Para dumamo dayon it mga sangkay 😂 char waray haha

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hala. Nag waray 🥰. Napakilala ko na hehe

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Amazing we should all spread love not hatred I really have to keep records of these words. I also appreciate you big sis and the wonderful communities wishing you happy Christmas in advance

$ 0.02
2 years ago