Don't Be Envious, You'll Be Toxic

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
3 years ago

August 14, 2021

I was having a hard time thinking of a good topic to write for today. Then Eyb shared something on our TG group that gave me an idea of what to write. As I told her, don't mind those people thinking negatively about her post. As for myself, I distance myself from toxic people and toxic posts already because they're just giving me headaches. And I don't want to be a toxic person anymore. Although sometimes, it's inevitable, and I can't control my emotions to burst especially if someone is crossing below the belt and degrading my fellow Filipino writers.

If you are my follower since day one, you certainly know that I became a toxic person inside this virtual world and that is happening to anyone else as well. I'm so different from my real world as I don't even talk that much and if I have something to express out, I just keep them in myself because I don't like jumping into any kind of argument.

But those emotions and thoughts are being accumulated over time and like a volcano that will erupt relentlessly. Our emotions and minds are our greatest enemy sometimes. They can push us up, but they will pull us down too. Its toxicity constructively affecting our mental state which makes us think negatively towards ourselves and others.

There were times that I became truly toxic and positivity was nowhere to be felt. And my virtual friends know about this matter. I'm trying to make a good pose in front of others but as I turned my back, those dark thoughts are eventually pulling me down, destructing my mood, and affecting my state of mind.

  • I become so pessimistic towards my own actions and words

  • I doubt my own self and capabilities.

  • I tend to mind other people's shoes and compare A and B.

  • I rant and complain.

  • I become unsatisfied with what I have.

  • I hate other people's achievements.

  • I focus more on the negative and don't give value to the positive.

It all boils down to one main cause...

ENVIOUS...

Until such time that I've noticed that people were making distance from me because of my toxicity. And as I faced the mirror, I didn't recognize myself anymore. This dilemma spurs me to have self-reflection and contemplate things I've done in the past.

And as I self-reflect, all I've seen were my mistakes and the consequences were hurting me badly. My conscience was annihilating me silently. It's making my daily mood down and feeling bluer than blue. Others may not notice it because I was trying to hide my emotions. But it's getting farther and lost track of my once optimistic perception towards things in life.

Then I pulled myself back...

There isn't too late for everything because each day is a chance to make things right. I know my mistakes and so I faced the consequences and tried to channel myself to follow the right path and do the right thing. And in this virtual world, we should know how to handle constructive criticisms, respond to them positively, and make sure that they won't affect us badly. Moreover, we should use them to self-reflect and correct our mistakes.

Since I was at fault, asking for forgiveness was the first thing I've done. It isn't easy to plead for forgiveness and be forgiven, and it took time before I finally got the forgiveness and reconciliation that I've wanted.

But while waiting for that time to happen.

  • I tried to compose myself back, straighten the once curved path, and fixed the shattered pieces of trust.

  • I accepted my mistakes and let go of my negative emotions.

  • I learned how to ignore things that are not worth my time.

  • I learned how to control my emotions and view things positively.

  • I learned not to compare two different things and not to complain about things that I haven't.

  • I learned how to value the small things I have at hand.

The most important thing I did was to ignore and distance myself from things that are making me toxic and surround myself with people full of positivity.

I was unaware that being real and frank was just bringing me to nowhere and it leads me to lost track. And I was too grateful when forgiveness was conferred and I promised myself not to do the same mistakes again.

The moral lessons I've learned from this experience are:

  • Stop comparing two things if you already have one. Just mind your own shoes.

Sometimes we tend to compare especially if we are not satisfied with the result of something, or with the things we have at hand. Take me as an example, the more I mind other people's shoes, the more I become toxic, and the more I become envious especially if what they have is much better with what I have.

I've realized that I should not be comparing two things, especially that if I already have one. So instead of comparing two things, why not work hard in polishing your own shoes beautifully? It is much better than minding other people's business.

  • There is nothing wrong with being real and straightforward, for as long as you know how to make a pause and filter the right words.

I may be silent in my real world, but I am straightforward in my virtual world. I observe, mind, and express my opinion and thoughts about something, about someone. And sometimes not aware that I'm already hurting others. That's the thing I tried to change, to hold back my emotions and filter the words that I will use, think of the people who will read it, and the consequences that might take place.

Not all of us can handle criticism so we should always think well of thoughts and opinions we have before throwing them into the line. As the saying says, "think before we click." No one is responsible for our actions but only us. And the consequences will be suffered by us as well.

Sometimes, it's better to ignore things and say nothing at all, than to express out our thoughts and opinions that won't do good to both parties. It's better to stay put than to run faster, and have a scraped knee once we fall. It's better to throw bread than to throw a stone because we know that it won't hurt us badly.

  • Do not be envious of other people's achievements and be contented and blessed with what you have.

Being envious is inevitable and even if we try to draw away ourselves from it, provoking things and people are just everywhere. However, if we are contented with what we have, we won't feel this traitor feeling and we'll be happy to see other people's achievements.

So instead of aiming for more things and envying other people's achievements, make them as inspiration to pursue what we want. Things don't happen overnight. Be patient, and our wish will be granted in due time.

Let's remember that, we have something that others don't have, and others have something that we don't have. But it doesn't mean that we need to have everything. Things are meant to fall in our place if they are truly meant for us.

And I realized that I don't need to be envious of others because I am well blessed as well and sometimes, even ahead of them.


I am certain that others on this platform have experienced this too, and I know that there are still people out there who are doubting our honesty and capabilities, and they will ignore our works because of enviousness. They will think negatively about our simple actions and spread wrong rumors to others. But the best thing to do is to ignore them too. Because this time, it's not us who's being toxic, but them.

And if you feel like you have those signs of toxicity, try to take a break, think deeply, and self-reflect.

Let's not pull each other down here, just love no hate.

Don't be envious, because you'll be toxic!

Thanks for your time.

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3 years ago

Comments

Hindi po talaga ang maging ingitira at kinukumpara ang sarile sa iba maaari ka maka gawa nang hindi maganda. Kagaya ko sa subra kung ingit sa pinsan ko dahil naka bf na sya nag bf din ako at yun tinawag tuloy ako na malande. Kaya mas mabute pa po na makuntinto na lang kung ano miron ka at kaylan ibibigay sayo ang gusto mo po.😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

We cannot please other people that is why my mom always remind me that instead of getting envy to others why not just appreciate and be inspired by their stories on how they reach the peek of success. I love this🥰

$ 0.00
3 years ago

before uttering the words, we need to think if it's kind and respectful... great share btw!

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I can totally identify with the symptoms: Negativity, irritability, comparing, discontentment...these are timebombs waiting to explode. So, have a positive attitude. Stay far, far away from toxic people. Watch more comedies, Don't Worry, Be Happy. :-) Have a great weekend!

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Haha..sure i'll watch comedies later 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yeah sometimes we envy someone unintentionally hahaha it is inevitable indeed. Sa ngayon, I don't care much about other people. I want to focus to myself, call me selfish but it's time to grow.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Same.. Focus nlng sa self at panu iimprove pa writing and trading skills ko haha..coz this will gonna be my future job.. Lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Naol magiging full time trader na

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Exactly, once you allow jealousy, You'll have successfully opened the door of toxicity. And once you are toxic, you shut doors of opportunities. Thanks.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I like that point about being straight forward but having to filter the words. We often sometimes mistake lack of empathy for being straightforward while in the real sense , we can be actually combine both .

$ 0.03
User's avatar M3i
3 years ago

Totoo yan. We all have a choice on how we can avoid those toxic people and things. Stay away, build walls if you must.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Or just ignore them haha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Love this body of work

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Very well written! Instead of being envious, I'm rather inspired by the story of people like you on this platform. Though it's honestly hard to be content with myself, I'll always strive to be the best version of myself!

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Envy will only bring no good. It'll rub our capacity to appreciate the things we have and we keep on wanting the things that the other people have 😅. Kaya as much as I can talaga ate, iniiwasan ko mainggit. Instead, natutunan ko na na maging happy sa achievememt ng iba. Yun namb kasi talaga ang dapat.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Ganun na ginagawa ko now.. Iniiwasan mga provoking posts at tao haha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Very well, Janey. Envy leads to toxicity but appreciation while not comparing ourselves to others helps. When a defining moment comes, define the moment or else the moment will define you. It's good when we rid ourselves of toxic people or situations. It is perfectly alright to protect our space and sanity. I'm all for that too.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

That was long ago and won't happen again 🥰

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I'm glad. 🤗

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ang laman ng first paragraph ate ah. Karelate haha. Anyway, there have some times na makakaramdam ka ng inggit pero isipin na lang natin na mas maganda kung gagawin na lang natin yon na motivation. Yun lang, wag masyadong magpaapekto sa environment at minsan, napakaoverthinker ko po hahah

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Haha. Hndi rn healthy yung overthinker, it will lead you to toxicity

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Nagagawa ko din minsan yang comparing na yan ee. Alam mo un, kinompara ang gawa sa iba, nainggit kaya ayon. Kung ano ano ang naiisip. Kaya nga pinipigilan ko ang makaramdam ng ganyan. Ayaw ko maging toxic. Toxic na nga ako as a girlfriend pati ba naman as a human being 🤧 cheret haha.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Girlfriend? 🤣🤣 yeah.. Feel ko yan sa mga hugot mo sa articles mo 🤣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

May mga times talaga na na co compare nating ang iba't ibang bagay. I'm guilty also about being envious but I am trying to control it because it will do no good to me. being toxic is what I am fearing I don't want to lose the trust and friendship I build with the users here in this platform

$ 0.03
3 years ago

And that's the reason why I pulled back myself. Coz I don't want to lose those people I valued here

$ 0.00
3 years ago

really true!!!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Envy can be a very destructive feeling for those who feel it. But recognizing when we feel it is the first step to get away from that feeling that can do so much damage. Toxic people are everywhere. In the real world and in the virtual too. The best we can do is get away from them.

And I agree with you. Instead of envying the achievements of others, we should use them as inspiration and fuel to pursue our own. Cheers!

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thank you.. We just need to beat that toxicity out of us.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

That's right, and you're getting rid of it by expressing yourself. Good for you!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I think that the years help us to become better people, it is good to look at ourselves in the mirror and realise what we are doing wrong and to be able to correct it in time. I also want to get away from many people, some I have already done so but I am missing others. Someone once told me that if we choose too much we would be left alone and we should accept people as they are, but I want them to love me well and not out of interest.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Me too.. I want others to like me for who I am not just because of interest..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Some ppl just have this pattern of comparing themselves to others and wanting to be superior due to their insecurities. So pathetic! Thank you, next. Ganern na lang, sis hehe.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Hahan thank you

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Me? I know that I am sometimes a toxic one but unlike other people who were seems like making themselves more toxic? I don't do what they were doing. I don't want to be toxic, I really don't. But, sometimes I can help it. Like what you said, Ate, it's inevitable. But, we can make ourselves less toxic by making ourselves more better. 'Wag i-embrace itong imperfection na 'to kasi 'di healthy.

Enviousness? All of us were feeling it. Wala naman sigurong tao na 'di nakakaramdam ng inggit sa kahit na kanino kahit katiting lang. But, again, we shouldn't embrace it. Because once that we embraced it? Mas may tendency na mas lumala pa 'yun. For me, what we need to is to transform that enviousness to inspiration. Inspiration na maabot din natin 'yung naabot ng ibang tao. Inspiration na maging successful at inspiration na mas maging better version ng sarili natin. Don't be toxic forever because aside from 'di ito healthy is nababawasan din 'yung chances natin na maging mas masaya sa buhay. <3

$ 0.10
3 years ago

Indeed.. The more we become toxic, the sadder we are. Contentment and acceptance are what we need to be truly happy.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Truly, Ate. Being toxic seems like inaagaw nila 'yung chance natin na maging happy. Kasi puro negativities na lang nasa isip at katawan natin eh.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

We don't need to blow out another man's candle for ours to shine. The floor is enough for everyone to shine. Being envious of other people only lead to hatred and hatred leads to destruction. Also the ability to accept one's fault and ask for forgiveness isn't common. Only a few people let down their ego and apologise

$ 0.05
3 years ago

I don't have a huge ego though and I know how to admit my mistakes because my super-ego is more dominant. .

$ 0.00
3 years ago

We shouldn't aim or wish something if we're not even working to achieve it. We should do our best for us to be successful. It's not about who's the first one who've been successful, it's about what you did to achieve that goal or to succeed in life. So there's no enough reason to envy someone's achievement.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Being envious is normal to human..it's just how you'll handle it well .

$ 0.00
3 years ago

So far I have never felt something like this, I mean, yeah sometimes we feel envious but I'm always at the positive side. Be happy with someone's achievement and make it an inspiration to strive hard for yourself. If you don't get the same, atleast you did all your best and always think that you will soon be successful in the perfect time. You will get it if you work hard for it.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

True.. And ever since I have become optimistic.. Positive things come my way..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I don't think I have ever had issues with people doing great either in the virtual world or reality.

Although there are very few times when I wished that I was getting the attention or reward someone else got but it didn't make me bitter instead it motivates me to do more.

During my junior school, there was a bit very good at math and he was always coming first while I end up in second just because of one subject. I became his best friend just because I wanted to learn from him and that helped me in getting the first position for the first time in junior school. I believe that there is more we can do than allowing our feelings to make us toxic.

$ 0.07
3 years ago

Yup, there is.. It is inevitable sometimes that it takes over our emotions because we allow it. .but what matters most is you know how to get out of it

$ 0.00
3 years ago

nakikita ko sarili ko sa pagiging straight forward ko at lagi ko sinasabi mga nakikita ko kahit alam kung masasaktan sila. Dahil akala ko tama yon. 🤧 Need ko na yata baguhin mindset ko. 😔

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Tao lng tayo nagkakamali.. Hndi lahat ng iniisip ay tama..minsan iconsider dn natn iisipin ng iba bago magbitiw ng salita

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Pero minsan kasi sobra na sila kaya nagiging matalim na minsan mga laman ng words ko hahaha. Kasi naman kapag palaging okay lang aabusuhin kana 🤧

$ 0.00
3 years ago

May nabasa din akong post sa noise.cash about sa inggit. And my comment there was, In reality, lahat tayo may inggit sa katawan. Ang pinagkaiba iba lang natin is, yun iba ginamit yun inggit na yun in a way to motivate themselves to achieve whatever they want to achieve. And yun iba naman is, sobra ng kinain ng inggit at naninira na at naghahatak pababa.

Good thing kasi narealize mo din na naging toxic ka before and pulled yourself back...

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Well hndi naman ako ganun.. Haha. Inggit lng pro never ako nanghatak ng iba pababa. Haha.. May konsensya pa naman ako. Mabait akong tao 🤣🤣 kung tulog.. Lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hahaha, of course naman madams,heheh..isa ka sa mga hinahangaan kong blogger dito at sa noise. Honestly naiinggit tlaga ako sa inyo but i used that inggit to make myself a better writerist😅🤣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Haha.. You are improving naman na ate.. Kht ako feel ko nag improve haha.. Natuto sa kakabasa ibat ibang article and style of writing.. Iabsorb lng tlga binabasa at maaapply mo yun syo

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Dapat lang, halos mag isang taon na ko dito sa read.cash eh,hahahaha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Palagi Lang natin iisipin na Kung gaano man kadami Yung blessing na natatanggap ng iba e Hindi Naman Yun sa kabawasan sa blessings na matatanggap natin.

Nature na ng tao yung mainggit pero nasa pag iisip nalang ng tao kung magpapadala sya sa inggit na yun and result e magiging toxic ka tapos mawawalan ka ng peace of mind kasi nga yung blessings ng iba binibilang mo.

$ 0.05
User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Sabi pa. Just count your blessings instead of sheep. .contentment is what we need

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Totoo yun. Focus ka Lang sa blessings mo and be grateful.

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

When we compare what we have with others and we see them having more than us, when we focus much on that, it will really affect us. I don't like to compare in a negative way. When I see people excelling or achieving, I strive hard to work hard and become better too. It is always toxic when we keep focusing on what others have that is much than us.

$ 0.06
3 years ago

True.. So better be inspired by their achievements than be envious. And strive harder to get what we want

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I don't really believe in people who say they are not toxic or had no little jealousy of anyone. of course, we were just normal people but then like you said we realized what had done and that's the start of giving breath air realization. Me too I had a lot of self-awareness these past days.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Haha.. Only those hypocrite will say that. Because that feeling is normal to humans.. Good thing you did that earlier before it consumed you.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you for the reminder, Ms. Jane🧡

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You're an amazing person for pulling yourself up and face the consequences. Not all people are brave enough to ask for forgiveness but you did❤️. We all feel envious in some ways but it's up to us how we deal with it. I feel envious when someone is able to achieve something that I also want for myself but instead of being toxic I use it as an inspiration for me to strive better.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Indeed.. Instead of being envious. Use their achievements as your inspiration to become like them too

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It's good that you have come to a realization and changed what needs to be changed. If you have continued on like this then there will surely be terrible consequences. We really should be more kind to ourselves and love ourselves more.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

True. It's the only way to appreciate small things and others as well..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Woahh, this article will give a lot of morals for those people who's living their life in envious, and I am one of those, I know it's my toxic trait, yet it so hard to control it, but these days since the pamdemic started, I started to self reflect and I've noticed it too my envious attitude towards things and people, hindi namn naten mapipigilan maingit, pero mas maganda ng makontrol naten to, alam kong kahit sabihin ng tao na they are not envious, I know that in their heart and mind there's this envious still exist. So agree ako sayo mars, we should not be envious to people, why not try to be a better for yourself, love your flaws because it's unique.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

If you envy others, use it to your advantage to be better, do better, and achieve better :) You are so amazing to be able to pull yourself back from going the 'bad' way :)

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Thank you 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You are very welcome :)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

We always have drawback as we are only human, it's normal to feel that but we should try our best to control it before it controls us. Our emotions is a bitch, but yeah after that what's important is we able to pull back ourselves.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Ganun naman tlga dapat gawin before you fall into the cliff and won't be able to survive anymore...

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I think we all lose our way sometimes, finding our way back is the most important thing. Platforms like this with many people and many opinions often result in fights of one type or another. That's just the nature of people. It's how we deal with them that matters. It's so true though, envy makes us lose who we are and become bitter. Thanks for sharing this :)

$ 0.05
3 years ago

This platform allows us to share anything. Our thoughts and emotions. But it's still important to filter the words we say before we put them on the line.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

So instead of aiming for more things and envying other people's achievements, make them as inspiration to pursue what we want. --- i agree here. Lahat naman tayo nakakaramdam ng inggit but depende na lang sa atin kung paano natin yun ihahandle and like you there were times na nacocompare ko sarili ko and achievement ko sa iba. haha. even here sa platform na to or sa noise though instead maging toxic ako I chose to be happy for them and use it as my inspiration too. hehe.

katulad ng lang sa sitwasyon nating dalawa, kung paiiralin ko yung inggit ko sayo baka inunfollow na kita then sisirain kita sa iba or iisipin ko or ipopost ko na kayabangan lang yung mga portfolio mo or nung ibang ngpopost ng bch holding nila but I didn't instead I chose to use it/them as an inspiration and motivation to hold some of my earnings too. Malaking tulong yung 1BCH club nyo to inspire others. MAhaba pa to sana kaya lang mahaba na comment ko. haha

Basta in short, let's not choose to be envious instead focus on ourselves and do better things for our better future :)

$ 0.10
3 years ago

Yup. And let bygones be bygones.. My mga tao lng tlga na kht anong changes gawin mo.. Mistakes mo parn mapapansin nla.. Lol..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

ay totoo yan sis mga toxic mga ganung tao. hehe. dapat talagang nilalayunan

$ 0.00
3 years ago

What I know while joining RC, the former @jane was a cheerful and funny person. Nice to read this article. 😉😊👍

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It happened for a short period only haha, so yes I am still the same Jane you know before

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Envy leads to hatred, which results in even more evil developing in a person. I wouldn't advise it for anyone. Envy is toxic

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Tama po mind our own plates na lang because if we keep looking on others we will never appreciate and enjoy what we have, I think there is no competition in here even if we have to be competent but it should be on positive ways. Thanks for your writing this will serves as my lesson to avoid being envious.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yup. There isn't competition in writing because we are all the same here.. I just consider this platform as a wall of freedom where I can express my thoughts and emotions especially when I have no one to talk to

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I use to be one before. I envy the success of others or whatever luck or expensive earthly wealth they have.I'm glad I realized early that it's no good if you envy others.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

The realization is what matters there before it's too late.. At least didn't let envy fully consumed us

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Truths.....

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Envious can be so desperate that can kill whoever they envy, and at times end up killing themselves.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I think sometimes to be toxic and envious is right thing. But often it makes us unsocial. We are the only one who know about his merits and demerits very well. Just we need to ractify all of these things into positive manner.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Indeed.. It's normal to become envious it's just how you'll handle it

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You're right po. Yung inggit na yan walang magandang maidudulot sa atin at sa kapwa natin. Glad to know you've learn from your mistakes and face the consequences. Not all people can do that.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I need to. Or else I'll be toxic forever lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I also hated myself before when I become toxic in virtual world. Sure sometimes meron padin akong pagkaganon pero syempre natural lang naman mag react ng ganon para maipaglaban ang tama. pero wag natin sanayin sarili natin na mapalapit sa katoxican, nung nag 20 ako wala na akong ganyan..kapag ayaw sakin ng tao po talaga ako na ang didistansya at lalayo. Wala eh mas maganda kasing mag focus sa pananahimik kesa gatungan din ng katoxican natuto na ako sa lessons ko from the past and I want to live peacefully while I'm still breathing and kicking without jowa 🤣

$ 0.05
3 years ago

🤣🤣 without jowa.. Magandang mindset yan haha.

$ 0.00
3 years ago