A letter to my five year old self
*Dear my 5 year old self,*
*Hello there, lil kiddo, I've missed you so much, I wish I could go back in time to be you again. I wanted to be a ball of sunshine again just like you, I know being you is one of hella frustrating years for our parents, we've always got what we wanted. Our parents spoiled us a lot, we used to have a lot of fun back then, we just go and play with our friends, run through the backyards doing crazy stuffs without thinking the consequences. I know we didn't take things seriously that time but we're happy and that's what matters.*
*I know you'll be confused if you will gonna read this right now, hahahaa I am you but more mature, I'm 18 years old version of you. Hahaha I know you must be shocked but yes I'm writing this because I wanted to tell you that you should enjoy your life as always as it is.*
*I'm gonna tell you that when you're getting older you'll meet a lot of good people and you'll be surrounded by your 4lifers who's your friends. You'll experience a lot of incredible things. Hahahaha I don't wanna tell what are those, I don't wanna spoil your adventures, you must look forward to them.*
*I'm gonna be honest to you that in the time you've started to wonder about life, it will not be easier for you, you'll experienced a lot of struggles in life that will pushed you in your darkest time. But don't you ever forget that you're not alone, you've got your friends and family and God. Just always keep on fighting and you're gonna survived it. Trust me lil kiddo, I'm the living proof that you're gonna make it.*
*Always be yourself no matter what, you are a great person, don't let someone to belittled you. Remember that I'm you, and together we don't let people stop us to be a great striving person.*
*Sincerely yours,*
*your 18 year old self.*
So hello there guys I've just write this because I've missed my old self, I wish I could go back in time and just enjoy things without thinki ng any problems.
Synesthesia
***Save your smile***
***Everything fades through time***
Since that day we've met. You made me see the beautiful side of living in this harsh world. I'm a girl who's diagnosed for a leukemia disease, I've started to just give up until the day I met you. You were my ball of sunshine, I've imagined a lifetime for us. I thought we always have rainbows and butterflies, but suddenly your presence continued to be missing day by day, even I know that you are there beside me, I never felt the person that I know inside you.
***I'm lost for words***
***Endlessly waiting for you***
You’ve left me without saying anything, even just a piece of writing in a paper, you didn't left, now my life started to became dull and lifeless again, I don't go to hospitals again for my check ups, since that day you've left, I thought of ending my life, but I'm still here waiting for you to come home with me once again.
***Stay with me***
***Yes, I know, this can't be***
After 3 years of waiting, you just like showed up out of nowhere, and as I looked at you I feel the mixed of emotions, I feel the angered, hatred, sad, and longing, I've missed you so much, you seem to be shocked when you looked at me, yes I'm still the girl that you've left behind after 3 years, the girl you once loved, but the I'm not the same shape of that girl, my skins are pale, I've lost weight and begun to look skinny, I can't even go for a jog anymore, my whole body is so fragile, that even you were afraid to hugged me, because you think you will hurt me. You still look the same, but more mature, you've smiled at me lovingly and asked forgiveness, you said that you're not ready for us in that time so you need to fixed yourself first, but now you're here, you are ready and brave for this, for us. I just smiled. I've forgave you for a long years ago. You smiled and kissed me gently in the forehead. We spend the day telling stories and memories about us. You showed me the love and care that I always wanted from you.
***As morning comes***
***I'll say goodbye to you when I'm done***
***Through the sun***
We spend the night lovingly looking to each others eyes why you are gently holding my hands and brushing your thumb in my palm. I hope that the time would stop and we will be forever stuck in this moment. But life is so much hard for a person like me, I started to felt asleep, I felt like my body was so tired, I've layed my head on your chest and you embraced me gently and gave me a pecked in my lips, I've smiled. You've said the words "if you're tired baby, its okay to rest don't worry about me, I will be here, I won't leave you" and by that my eyes started to feel heavy, just like my breathing, and the last words I heard from you
"I love you and always will my love see you at another lifetime" and everything started to turn black.
***Because I'm waiting for you***
***Waiting for this dream to come true***
***Just to be with you***
***And if I die***
***Remember these lines***
***I'm always here, guarding your life***
***Guarding your life***
**I'm always here baby, watching you always from a far, even you don't see me, I wanted to tell you that I'm still here waiting for you. I love you my love, please be happy see you at our next lifetime.**
So this is just a work if fiction, I'm so obsessed with this song synesthesia by mayonnaise, thanks for this beautiful song I was inspired while listening to this, that I thought of this story.
What is more important to be right or to be wrong?
So hello there everyone, I just finished my homework so I just scrolled to my Twitter account, then I saw this question and it got me interested.
The question is what is more important to be right or to be wrong?
I'm really torn between this two, because both are important but what is the more important?
For me being wrong is much more important because people does mistakes and this is our human nature. Mistakes teaches us lessons for us to correct our wrong doings. Being wrong doesn't mean it's permanent. It's just a challenge you've failed to do so.
Now for being right, I think it's less important than being wrong, because if you were always right, where's the thrill in leaving. Even Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.
You see life will be more interesting and worth living if you've done mistakes and learn from it. It's okay to be wrong sometimes than to be right at all times.
I hope I've answered it clearly, but yeah that's my thoughts about it. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great night.
3 things I would do if I weren’t so afraid
Hello there, I've been thinking this since I don't have anything to write now a days, so I just write these randomly. These are the three things I would do if I weren't afraid.
***Go on to a trip alone for a week***
Yes, I would love to go on a different destinations alone, but I am so afraid of the circumstances, what if I got lost, what if there's a stranger approach me and I don't know what to say. I suck in socializing, I have this ki d of feeling when I don't want to be surrounded by many people, I don't like crowded place but still I don't want to be alone, it's ironic isn't it I love to be accompanied but I don't want people. Going on a trip alone would be a good thing for soul searching, but I'm afraid to be alone, I want someone to accompany me.
***Get into romantic relationship***
Yes, I love to be in a romantic relationship but I'm afraid to trust someone, and be that person for someone, I think I just love the idea of being inlove, goshh its so cheezyy, hahhaha. My status is always fling, if that person started to asked me for a label, I would just ignored him and will on my cold feet mode on hahahaa, I would stop talking to them after that. I know it's a red flag don't be mad at me guys hahahaha. But for now I just focused on my studies, I don't want any distractions for now, college is a hella place, I don't need to put another stress in my life.
***Go to club-hopping***
Hahahhaa, I know it so random, but I would love to do club-hopping with my gals, but I'm afraid of my parents, hahahha it's normal to be afraid to parents, but goshh my mom knows me if I'm lying or not just by looking at my eyes, I tried to lie once when I'm asking a permission to them, hahahha I'm busted just by saing I will just go sleep over with my bestfriend, my mom look seriously in my eyes and then I can't help to just speak the truth but only truth, so I was like grounded to go with my friends for a week. I just do this club-hopping if I have already have my own apartment. It's too hard to go for night outs when you're still living in your parents house.
So again guys I'm just bored while thinking of this topic hahaha. Enjoy guys.
Movie suggestions (cry babies)
So I'm gonna share to you guys some of movies that puts me in a roller coaster of emotions.
**A walk to remember**
This is one of my favorite movie at all time, this is the most underrated movie I've ever watched and also there's a novel written by my favorite author Nicholas Sparks, this movie gives me the romatic excitement, love, smile, and cry. It leaves a good moral message about life, love, family, friends, and value forgiveness. I really love the chemistry between Mandy Moore and Shane West. I don't wanna spoil you guys, if you want to watch it then go for it, prepare your tissues.
Memorable lines from the movie
*"Our love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.”*
**The notebook**
Also a great movie, (naku dito mo talaga maapply yung kanta ni taylor swift na" The way I love you", okayy itaas ang mga pulang bandila) , so this movie is also written by Nicholas Sparks, (o diba kay fav author ko to mapanaket). Pretty talaga dito ni Rachel McAdams, crush ko to lahat ng movies nya ang gaganda, anyways this movie has a good plot, first this will makes you inlove, then break you in 360. Noah's love for allie is inevitable, imagine mare sulatan ka ng 365 letters grabe kilig ko ahhh, yun lang ayoko mang spoil sa mga di pa nakakapanood, panooden nyo to.
Memorable lines from the movie
*“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me.”*
**The fault in our star**
This movie was a masterpiece, the plot is good, yhe characters are great, the music, ahh everything is great. This movie will make your heart in pain, this movie is about two teenagers who fell in love while fighting cancer. Grabe to mas masaket pa to kesa pag bagsak ko sa biology class ko dati hahahhaha. So ayun nga basta panooden nyo as in kahit paulit ulitin ko to di nakakasawa.
Memorable lines from the movie
*“I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”*
(parang naging uod ako sa kilig dyan kay augustus pano pa kaya si hazel).
**Irreplaceable you**
Eto panooden nyo talaga, ang ganda ng plot nya tas yung mga characters kayang kaya ka talaga paiyakin sa galing umarte. This movie is all about a girl named abbie who's diagnosed with a terminal cancer, and she was looking for a good and loving woman who will take care of her fiancé that she will left behind. Grabee to ansaket mahal mo talaga kahit alam mong mamatay ka na hahanapan mo pa ng mag aalaga yung taong mahal mo para di sya malungkot sa pagkawala mo. That thing is real love. Sana makahanap din ako ng ganto emsss baka mamaya sakit lang ibigay sakin hahhaha charott. Basta panooden nyo ganda talaga neto.
Memorable lines from the movie
*"I thought if I have planned your whole future, it wouldn't hurt so much not to be a part of it"*
**The Vow**
Eto very masaket talaga mga mare, this movie makes me cried at almost 3 am in the morning hahahaa pinanood ko sya kala nila mama may problema ko nun kasi bat daw naiyak. Basta ganda neto panooden nyo yawko ispoil. Da best to kasi base on true story daw, pero kung totoo salute ako sa lalaki dito grabe yung love nya for the girl. He's willing to make her girl remember the love they shared together.
Memorable lines from the movie
*"You accepted me for who I am, and not for who you wanted me to be"*
Grabee madami pa ko gusto suggest next time na lang basta sa mga di pa nakakapanood nyan naku panooden nyo na.
Online classes sucks
So hello there humans, I've got a free time right now cause I just finished my pending works for today and I think online classes is really the most exhausting I've done everyday, I think almost 85% of my day is for online class. It's really hard specially to be a college student.
So here's the reality of online class
We supposed to learn, but there's a lot of interruption, the internet connection, the noise at your background.
Sometimes I don't want to join anymore in the meeting in my online classes because I don't evwn understand a single thing cause of the unstable internet connection.
It's really makes me nervous when there's a recitation, cause sometimes, even though I knew the answer, the net will be unstable until I just reconnecting and also it pains yo explain because some professor doesn't believe us, kesyo naka wifi namn daw kami, bakit ang hina, nagpapalusot lang daw kasi di raw alam sagot, ganyan na ganyan mga sagutan, so I tend to just shut up.
Cheaters
I know it's normal to us students to cheat, yeah it's wrong but don't be like a holy, we all cheat yeah, but I don't think I should always cheat because of the reason that this is just online classes. I mean come on guys we're not kids anymore, we need to try harder don't cheat on your exams, because if you'll always doing it, maybe by the near future you will apply cheating in any works because you are used to it that it makes it normal for you to so it.
Again even though it's hard especially right now because of the situation of the world, just keep on striving and be good student and a person, just bare with this struggles we will get through this together.
Always take care guys.
Did you hear the saying "Practice makes perfect"?
Hey, I just write this cause why not, hahaha just kidding, so here I am again writing my thoughts.
Did you believe in saying "practice makes perfect"?, cause there's a lot of people who believed in this saying, I think for me, I really don't believe to the person who said this, you see practice doesn't makes a thing perfect, of course some people would say that I'm wrong, but this is just my thoughts okay, so go make your own thoughts, kidding.
Okay so let's get serious, practice doesn't make things perfect, cause first there is no such thing as perfect, perfection is just a word to compliment something or someone that satisfy your beliefs, wants, and pleased yourself. It's really annoying for me to hear compliments like "oh you're so perfect", "woahh that's pefect", it's really exaggerating, I know humans just said this for them to know their feeling towards something. But in reality, practicing doesnt makes things perfect, it just make it good, or better.
In a dance competition you practiced hard everyday, but still you don't win, cause people is not satisfied to your performance even though for you it seems perfect, and then even if you win, some people doesn't like the sound of it, cause other people is not satisfied, you see people has different definition of being perfect, even though there isn't. Perfection doesnt exist.
Anyway don't fight me humans, it just me writing my random nonsense thoughts.
Wonderful tonight
The candle lights checked, you look at front of you and see the romatic vibe you've done, yellow tulips at the middle of the table, rose petals on the floor, you don't know how to cook and you just order the food that is already waiting in the table, it's almost 12 am already and you're waiting for her, then after minutes of waiting you wake up from your little nap because you heard the sound of the alarm, you've just realized that you fell asleep because of waiting for her , you were suprise as you see the face of her, even it's dark at your apartment because you just turn off the light because you just wanted the candle lights to serve as your light of the night, you will always knew it was her, your love of your life. You welcome her with a smile in your face and mouthed *" I miss you",* you see her smile, the smile that you'll always fell for.
*"Welcome home babe"* you say while looking at her.
She looks at the simple romantic date vibes you prepared for her. She then turns to look at you and gave you these thankfully lovingly looks in her eyes, and you already know what's shes trying to say.
*"it's all for you babe"* you just say nonchalantly
You go to the table and get the chair for her.
*"Happy 4 years babe"* you said with a sweet tone.
You look at her, she smiled and mouthed I love you.
While eating you look at her, you really miss all features of her, her eyes, her nose, her lips, all of it. You look at her, she look so peaceful, she looks like a calm waves in a sea , that's waiting for you. She then looked back at you, you smiled and you thought to yourself
How can she does this to you,
How can she flutter your heart like that,
After that you played to your Bluetooth speaker the theme song of both of you...
*It's late in the evening....*
**You stand up and held her arms**
*She's wondering what clothes to wear*
*She puts on her make up*
*And brushes her long blonde hair*
**You both dancing to the music**
*And then she asks me, "Do I look alright?"*
*And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight"*
**You hug her, and she hugged back**
*We go to a party*
*And everyone turns to see*
*This beautiful lady*
*That's walking around with me*
*And then she asks me, "Do you feel alright?"*
*And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"*
**You both swayed to the musing while hugging each other**
*I feel wonderful*
*Because I see the love light in your eyes*
*And the wonder of it all*
*Is that you just don't realize how much*
***" I love you"*** you sing the last line in the song while making her face you, and you held her arms and kissed her forehead.
You look at her and you see tears running down to her face while smiling at you...
And she slowly letting go of your arms...
The joy that you felt when she holds your arms slowly fading and until it turn all black
You groan at the loud sound coming from your alarm, you wake up and see it's the day,
It's her 4th year death anniversary.
You feel the liquid running through your face, it's the tears.
You remember your dreams, and you can't believed, because it feels real, she feels real.
You just look at the frame beside you and see her picture smiling...
*"It's been 4 years babe, and it still hurt, I miss you always"* you said while tearing up.
*"I hope that universe will be a little kinder and let us meet each other in another lifetime".*
**I love you.**
Woahhhh it makes me teared up while writing this, I just listen to the song the ghost of you and then, I'm inspired to hurt myself again by writing this.
Hope you enjoyed.
Also 'wonderful tonight' by Eric Clapton is one of my fav song.
Random Questions
I've been posting in my IG stories to asked me about everything, then heres what I've got.
**First Job you thought you wanted when you were kid.**
*When I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a doctor, a surgeon specifically, it really amaze me that time when my mom brought me to the hospital, I saw a doctor, I love his outfit, he's so clean in his white labcoat. I've asked him if what he's doing, yeah my confidence and audacity to ask a stranger because I'm still a kid that time, everything that gets me curious, makes me want to know more about it. And then he told me he was a cardiothoracic surgeon, hahaha I don't understand at first but he talks to me in a friendly manner tone, he said he's a doctor that fixes damage heart. And since that day I've always wanted to be a doctor, but life happens, and now that I'm in college my family wants me to take engineering courses.*
**If zombie apocalypse happens where will you go first?**
*Really my friend asked me this. I will go nowhere, I will just stay at home, and wait for my time. At least if I died, I wont die with some bites in my flesh, it's really makes me sick thinking about it.*
**Your comfort movies or series**
*Wahhh it's too many to mention, but I just mention one, I really love watching Grey's anatomy, I cried everytime one of my favorite character dies, huhuhu my derek sheperd, why do you need to die, anyways it's ironic, it makes my heart broke yet watching it makes me calm. You need to watch it guys, it's really nice although it's a long series.*
**Who's your go-to comfort person**
*Well it's me, myself and I. I know I have my best friend but I don't want to look at me in pity, yet they also makes me comfort but still, it's really far different the comfort I get when it's just myself.*
**Ahhh it's getting long, my hands get tired, okay that's it for now, I've gotta go with my online classes. Thanks for reading.**
This is a message from a simple unkown girl to a man she admired the most.
*I can't believe that this day will came, it felt surreal at first, I can't explain the feeling inside, after knowing this, it was so great to wear this beautiful long white gown, my favorite pair of stiletto, the necklace with a butterfly pendant you've gave me. This was the moment I've always been praying and waiting, and this really is happening. I got to church and see the beautiful flowers lining up in the both side of the aisle, your love ones that is smiling at me, before I walk to the aisle, I was really excited and nervous, I don't know I just feel a lot of mixed emotions. As I walk through the aisle, I saw you in the front of the altar waiting, our eyes met, we look at each other, I still feel my heart goes wild everytime you does this, the way you stare at me, it still touches my soul. When I almost near you I turn to my right direction and sit with the bridesmaids, I look at you and I still see you smiling, those smile that you used to show me, those looks in your eyes, that is used to look at me in a special way, I see tears running to your face, the tears that I've seen, the tears that is really different the tears that really makes me want to hurt myself, because those tears are different from when I make you teared up in the day that we broke up, it's different from the tears of hatred, pain, longing, and loneliness, it's really far more different, because those tears is the tears of happiness, love, and excitement.*
*I look at you from a far, and I see that you're happy now, you achieve your dreams, we both dream to be married to each other, but destiny won't let us. Finally this is the day that you'll put the ring on the finger of the person you love the most, this is the day you will introduce her to God, that you will love her for the rest of your life, and this is the day that I'll finally let you go. I'm happy for you, and you'll always be my person. I know the future we saw ahead of us was nothing but a world filled with disappointment, angered, disguised that we thought we’ll be in.*
**Hahahhaaha just kidding guys, I'm still a crazy teenager, practice lang, gusto ko rin kasi maranasan kantahin yung happier ni Ed sheeran with feelings, hahahhaaha charoot charotr, hahahaa walking flagpole po hindi red flag.**
Sunshine and Rain
You know the feeling when your life runs exactly how you wanted, I mean you have a happy and loving family that surrounds you, friends that always supports you in good times and at bad, your bestie or what you call 4 lifer that always arround and annoying the hell out of you, but the same time makes you a better you, you have good grades in school, and you're okay financially. You knew to yourself that this is what you wanted, a definition of perfect life for you.You feel complete, but then suddenly life happens and now those things, those people, the perfect life just broke down like a you were traveling, driving in a long straight calming road then suddenly something just showed up in front of you without warning and the calm road started to damage, lines are broken, all those shuttered pieces of your car has been thrown away.
The question is how will you able to manage to wake up every morning knowing your life is not the same anymore? You knew to yourself that there's been missing, you don't know who or what, but you feel the incompleteness, the coldness, the longest lonely moment of your life.
Just want to tell you guys that life is not always rainbows and sunshine, sometimes the rain will come and it's okay to feel it, we're humans, and storms always comes, but after the storm you'll see a colorful rainbow, the clouds is not dark as it look likes when it rains.
This is just an advice that we should live, love, and enjoy our lives, love those people who's important, live the life you've always want. Cherished each time you have in this world. Face those problems with head held high.
*Owemji This reallly makes me emotional again. Anyways it's in my notes in my phone, I'm cleaning files in my phone and I just accidentally read this in my notes, I think I wrote it years ago.*
Does you and your 4lifer do this things?
So hello there, I just remember some crazy things so, I think I needed to wrote it down, and also I just miss my 4lifer, huhuhu bestie hope to bond soon after this pandemic.
**Sending each other's ugly selfies**
Yes, at all times, she randomly sending a picture of her, or sometimes she edited my selfies ang put it in some pictures that is really fun and we just laugh at our own faces
**Update each other specially before taking a crap**
Yeah, actually we already done a video call while pooping HAHAHHAHA that's really normal for us, even though it's crazy and disgusting.
**Brought each other a baby bottle**
Hahahaha yep we are in our 20s yet we still drink in that baby bottle, at first we just brought it for fun, and yes until now we use it in occasions that makes us looks weirdos HAHHAHAAAH, sometimes we put alcoholic beverages then drink it like a baby.
**Sleepover but doesn't sleep**
We just binge watch netflix, then eat until we look like a pig, and then having a conversation about people we hate, and then we just lie down and laugh our ass of until morning, then after the other one goes home, that's the time for nap.
That's it for now I'm tired, actually these things is just simple that we really does that people mightbfind us crazy hahahaa I just want to post this cause if I don't maybe I'll forget it, it's really exhausting in college ahhh. I hate online classes.
Emotions are messy
Hello again, this is the second time I'll write again, so these past few days, I've been busy. Anyways let's start this one.
Are you a person who is full of emotions, or a person who is dull and plain.
Emotions are one of the most difficult villain in persons life. Sometimes it's good, yet sometimes it's bad. Emotions are a bitter sweet feelings. Too much of this can cause harm, and less from this, can make you look inhumane.
From my experience being too emotional is really hard, I already done it already, being emotional on everything, like one time my only aloevera plant died, I cried over it, I don't know the reason why it died I just woke up one morning and it's already died, its green and healthy leaves turns intro brown and water like thingy. I don't know but still it pains me to see a plant that I took a lot of care all over a year suddenly just died. Sorry I'm not allowed to have pets so I just planting and I name my plant Georgie. It's cute isn't it. So back to the story, my mom tease me after seeing me cried a bucket if tears. Yeah every time I think of it, I think I'm gonna throw up for may emotional self.
Yes, my too much emotional self is covered with a plain and boring personality, I just realized that maybe if I could lessen my emotions, it would be better. So I tried and then I loved it at first but when times passes by it bores me, I don't know how can I communicate with people, dunno how to socialized, I have my own world with myself, and it makes me look so horrible as a person, so I decided later on that I just be myself again.
Yet to be honest, I can't be too emotional again, I mean it's really hard for me to be that person again. I think myself just naturally adopt the plain personality and it's hard to adjust, I'm being used to act like that, so right now I just act as myself.
I'll never be the same person again, but I think it's good because changes is good.
This is some of my dump experience.
My almost
Do you have your almost? Like almost to win in a competitions?, almost win in a computer games? Almost to be the best in your class?, and anything that we are clise enough to reach...
All people have their own different of almost, but for me, my one of the most significant almost is my best friend.
Let me just tell you about Him, I don't want to mention his name to this article, maybe I'm still not ready to, but okay let me just summarize my experience with my almost...
Back when I'm in my jhs days, I am a type of student who just wanted to play around, gave my professors a headache, always late in class, it's funny though even I act like a jerk in school I still get to passed, haaahh!! That's the perks of being brainy just kidding hahaha so back to the story... I know my limits even though I broke rules in class, not until I met the person who will bring the best in me.... Omooo that's so cheezyy... So again I met him, he is my seatmate in grade 8 science class, I really love science back then, yes I teach him science, he's so handsome while studying, his nose crunch up when he is lost in the science book that he is reading beside me, while this me being an idiotic girl inlove, no scratch that, I never considered myself being inlove but there's something about him that makes my heart skip a beat.
So everyday I fall so hard to him, we talked, we laughed, we are so clingy to each other, and sometimes other will just wonder if we are together as a lover, and it breaks me every time he will jusy answer "we're just friends".
Then we separated our ways in grade 9 and he met someone, and he always tell stories about this girl in his class that captured his heart, I know it is unfair but I just ignore him, and one day he just asked me to meet with him because he will tell me something that is really important and I was really excited back then, I thought he realized my feelings for him, I got my hopes up, but it's pain to say that all of it just broke down, when I see him with a girl, the girl that she always talks about, the girl that makes him go crazy, and the girl that she wanted, that pains me to see the way he laughs with her, the way he looks at her like she is the most expensive thing in this world, I know my jealousy tooks over me and I just ditched him.
That night he went to our house and asked me randomly if it is okay with me, if he will asked someone to be his girlfriend, and I just smile to hide my pain, I was like "dont be so stupid I'm not your mother to gave you permision" we laughed after that and still he's laugh is music to my ears, after that he looks so sad after I tell him that its okay, who am I to not let you with the person who makes you happy, he just hug me and kiss me goodnight in my forehead.
After that we don't really talk and bond just like before, and years past when Im in my last year of senior high year, he just call me out of nowhere and just asked me to meet with him.
I meet him and seriously after all these years he became so much good looking than befor, I think all my walls that I built just broke down when he hugged me, and that day he confessed to me all things, the reason that night when he asked me a permission to date someone, he said that he wishes that my answer would be no because he knows me very well, but he was ao disappointed to my answer, he said he was so scared to confess his feelings with me because he is afraid our friendship will be at risk, and that day I don't know how will I react, I just thanked him for bwing honest and just leaved.
I know we have each other's almost but we're afraid to tell it and that's the painful reality, right now I'm enjoying my life and I know that he is too.
Thanks for reading, sorry for some typographical errors,
Can you share your almost?
I think diaries are old fashioned but still they are my favorite things to do when I'm still young and until now but as I grow older I'm to lazy to write about the happenings in my daily life, because ever since I started to go in college, my life becomes dull and the school works drained the hell out of me, so I just sleep and sleep and repeat
I think I should post often about the errands in my daily life in this site.
Can someone please suggest any tragic movies
"BTB"
I can't really imagine
You left me crying
You told me to stop
I tried but I can't
Days, months, years
My heart starts to heal
The painful feeling
Blown by the wind
Then I looked at the mirror
And I'm happy to see
Standing the new me
But one day
In the same place
In the same date
I walked passed by
Then I heard a voice
Calling my name
I looked back
And saw you sitting and eating
You talked to me like nothing happened
Then I was like "what am I doing?! "
"Talking to the man who hurts my feeling"
we get close to each other at that moment
You started to become my best friend again
Then Here we go again
In the same place that we've been
Same thing that we've been doing
Talking about something
Laughing at the same thing
Treating each other as a FRIEND.
Starting fresh
Starting fresh
Giyabels po ako
Dot dot dot
@Darkandtwisty143
