Time First!
04/30/2022
I wouldn't know April's ending today haven't I checked the calendar. How fast time flies! It just passes by and before we realize it, here comes another year again.
I figured I should take a break from specifically-themed articles for now, and explain the cause of my inactivity for three days. Read on to see what happened for the past few days.
Supposedly, I am in my third part of sharing my SB19 Concert experience! Yes, on to that most awaited part, the pictures and performances of SB19 itself! But for some reasons, I could not publish my drafts, and even have the motivation to edit, revise, and post it. I felt like there are still some major parts missing, that I am still figuring out. Hopefully, tomorrow, I could continue the mini-series I started. I hope you'd still anticipate it. Because to me, honestly, as a fan it has been a week after that concert but I still haven't moved on. Memories of April 23rd are actually my happy pills these days.
So, if you are new here, and have no idea what in the world I am talking about, here are the three parts of the mini-series of me sharing my SB19 concert blogs as an A'tin. I would really be grateful if you'd come by to read and share your thoughts.
Enjoy! 💠
Meeting SB19 in Person: A Once in a Lifetime Concert Experience
Meeting SB19 in Person: A Once in a Lifetime Concert Experience | 2
Have you finished binge-reading them all? Thank you so much! Before I move forward, let me share with you a picture I took earlier this evening.
It really looks good when it boasts the hues of blue, pink, and orange! Plus, look at those greens and shadows that made it more healing to the eyes! I hope it made you smile, too, like how it did to me.
On to the story time now.
Today is Saturday, and it was also a kind of a busy day. I slept late at 3 a.m. because yes, it's a weekend. But I had to wake up at 9 o' clock in the morning, because mom and I talked about shopping grocery and buying a new electric fan. I had some Pan De Sal for breakfast, and proceeded to wash myself. I also remembered the dental clinic I was advised to come back to, because I had my consultation attempted for approval through my older sister's HMO coverage. Thankfully, we got the news that it got approved. Nice one, Medicard. I was told a few days ago, that I had severe teeth problems already, and that it's a good decision to have it checked up. Turns out I had to have FOUR of my teeth filled, and all of my teeth cleaned as well. But for today, the dentist only did a temporary teeth filling, and I should come back next week to make it to a permanent one.
It's one of my biggest regrets now. Not really focusing on my oral health. You might even be shocked to now that I haven't visited a dentist for almost twelve years. I took care of my teeth on my own, by doing the usual routine: brushing my teeth, gargling, when needed, and that's it.
Now, I am seeing the results of it. This year, one of my new year's resolutions is to improve my oral health. If only I had the means, I'd also love to have braces, because the bottom part of my teeth are a bit overcrowded. The reason? These useless wisdom teeth. (eye roll). But then I'd have to undergo an operation again to remove the wisdom teeth before I could align the teeth properly as how I want it. Thinking of all this gave me a headache. Too burdensome, and of course... EXPENSIVE.
For now, I could only focus on activities I could reasonably afford, such as teeth cleaning, and teeth filling. I also wanna do the teeth whitening. If anyone of you out there was a dentist, please share some pieces of advice as to what I should do.
I have realized I should also prioritize saving a portion specifically for my overall oral care goals. I want to achieve nice-looking teeth, and healthy teeth this year, so I'll work hard to make this happen. I have done some research and discovered that braces costs a minimum of Php 25,000 , or roughly $500! Man, where can I get that amount?!
So yeah, invest in oral care while you're still young. This is a lesson for y'all. Unless, you wanna regret like me. I was not raised in a family where having regular dental check ups is a priority. As long as I brush my teeth regularly, I am good. But we all now, it's more than that.
Please wish me luck, so I could achieve this goal of mine this year. In Jesus' name!
Okay, I talked too much about that, LOL.
After that, mom has finished shopping by the time I came out of the dental clinic, so we went home afterwards.
Mom cooked a really delicious meal, and I still tried to enjoy it well, even I am trying to take care of the teeth that got filled. She cooked the pork well, plus my favorite, a yummy vegetable dish, perfect combination!
I also thought twice before deciding to not drink the Gatorade drink she also bought, after Google told me that it may affect my teeth overall. I just had to be very careful on my first few hours, especially if it's a temporary teeth filling.
Yesterday, Friday, is just another normal work day for me, of course, and it's kind of busy, too, but I somehow enjoyed it. You know, the only way to enjoy what we do, is we find ways to like it! That's what I am working on these days, and I am just trusting the process. Maybe, real soon, I'd grow to appreciate what I do, again, like how it was back then. Fingers crossed.
Another insecurity got unlocked.. again! Since it's summer time, ticks and fleas from lets are here again! I got new bites in my legs, and they gave me another set of ugly scars again. It's a never-ending cycle of dealing with the rashes>working 24/7 to erase the ugly scars>getting new ones again>repeat. It's honestly so mentally draining, plus it really impacts my confidence, you know. I really envy those who have no sensitive skin, and whom scars aren't a problem. It's an issue I've been dealing with ever since I was young, and there were many, many times it made me feel miserable. And for now, I am not invalidating my own feeling. It's a big deal for me, who's always conscious of my appearance.
I am not putting my mind into it that much, so I won't affect my mood. I always find reasons to be happy, and it helps me get by another tedious day.
It's really adulting, isn't it? That period where I don't really feel like progressing at all. That I am just letting days pass by, waste itself, going with the flow, trying to survive each day.. happy today, sad tomorrow.. and repeat. Living like this is quite tiring, right? And the fact that we have those unexpected moments when we are just about to close our eyes, and then realization suddenly hits, that 'I am in this age, yet, I still haven't made a difference on my own'. 'What have I been doing with my life?'. and other disruptive thoughts, that make us end up overthinking, surrounding ourselves with an outbursts of what ifs, regrets, and anxiety. Whatever.
Whenever this phase visits me once in a while, I try to learn to get used to it. So whoever is undergoing this phase right now, just hang in there. Distract yourself by making yourself busy. Write, watch series, treat yourself to a solo date, listen to music, go to the gym. Whatever suits you, do it. Just live, until that day comes that everything's okay again.
We just have to live with it. We sometimes set unrealistic expectations of ourselves, and let others pressure us, look on others' timelines, despise our own, and continue to silently murmur while we try to bear the fact that we are stuck in a place we don't wanna be. It's like we wanna do something else, but it's not practical to do so, or if it was, we have no idea what we actually wanna do, so we just try to stick to the current lives we are in.
I know exactly how it feels. And if you can relate with all of my ramblings so far, please leave a like! Let me know of your thoughts as well, we are all sources of comfort here. Don't be shy.
This has been too long, and it's also getting late. I am planning to visit at least twenty articles before I sleep tonight, so let me cut this here. I will leave this with an open ending, available for y'all to share you own thoughts and insights.
How did your day go? How do you relate with my random thoughts? Any inputs or advice you could give me or whoever reads this? Comment them below! I promise to read every single comment, and thank you well.
Thanks for reading up to here, and I hope you'd always be there to support me. Sending tons of hugs and comfort right now..
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I understand the struggles of not taking your oral health serious because I also know how expensive it is. The last time I visited the dentist was to have my tooth removed because I know how expensive filling, crowning and the treatment can be. I should go for cleaning and check up soon too. It's time I start taking it seriously.
Happy new month, my friend.