"My Old Self"

Avatar for renren16
2 years ago

As I was about to sleep last night, I asked our Lord Jesus Christ to help me return to my old self. The one that is cheerful. The one that is full of determination. The one that is hopeful. The one that is motivated. The one that is interactive.

If you have notice, I am not as active as I am in the past months. Honestly speaking, its not just in here and noise.cash, the same is through in the real world. I feel like I was surrounded by all means of negativities. Like, when I wake in the morning, I just want to stay in bed for a couple of hours. I started a day thinking negative thoughts already. I know its just me to blame. Everything that happens to me this past days, I am the main reason why it happens. I am to blame. I am the one that is at fault. None of my family or friends knows what I went through. But yes, I chose to be that way. I don't want to involve them in my personal issues. Aside from that, I don't want to hear their negative opinions towards me. Though I am used to it, but for some reasons, I don't want to hear it out because I know I will just ended up pitying myself. And I am so tired, feeling that way.

I want to go back. To be on the right track. I don't want to stay this way. Feeling that I want to fade away. Sometimes, especially when I am alone, I can't help myself but cry over the things that keep bothering me. My current situation, my life, my way of living, my relationship towards my family and other people. And worst among all, I want to rush things, especially of the pressure I felt by not having a stable job. And it so happen that I came across a content stating;

_______________________

"God won't leave you guessing. He will send you signs that it's time to slow down, quiet your mind, and work on yourself while He labors on your behalf. This includes:

-A break up.

- Physical or mental or emotional exhaustion.

- Negative or hurtful people leaving your life.

- The feeling of being lost or purposeless.

- An opportunity to go on a long trip or retreat.

- The awareness that you've been repeating the same relationship mistakes for years.

- Persistent frustration and lack of peace.

Not all of God's signs are enjoyable. Some are unpleasant or painful. But if that's what it takes to get your attention, its all worth it. Pay attention to the events and patterns in your life. Is God telling you to wait? If you haven't been listening, now is the good time to start. If not, you might squander time that you'll never get back."

_______________________

After reading the whole content, I just realized that some of the signs, I did experienced it. "Physical or mental or emotional exhaustion." "The feeling of being lost or purposeless." "Persistent frustration or lack of peace." As for the rest of the signs, I just can't explain it but, thinking about my relationship with MGD, to be honest, there's a part of me that wanting for a break up. I don't know if it is the right thing to do or maybe I just got carried away with my emotions. (Deep Sighing) I guess this is not the right time for me to tell the whole details about it. Let's just leave it that way for now.

As I am about to end this piece today, I just can't stop thinking about those signs above. (Sighing again) And all I want right now is to go back to my old self. I just have to believe that I can do that for my own sake. God is with me, right? ^_^

Thank you for spending your time my read.cash family. Take good care of yourselves!❣️

MAY THE GRACE OF THE LORD BE WITH ALL GOD'S PEOPLE!😇

________________________

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I want to extend my deepest gratitude towards the people that keep supporting my works in here. To my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; (old, new, and renewed ones). Having you as my Readcash family and virtual friends, gives me the an immense sense of satisfaction. Thank for the love and support you have given to me. Thank you for being my everyday inspiration and motivation to keep doing this thing. Thank you for making my Readcash journey fruitful. May the Lord God bless us more fruitful days, months, and years to come!

Just Love!❤️

@renren16

See you in my next article!😊

xoxo(*˘︶˘*).。*♡

_______________________

|#247| 12th Article of the Month

|04.20.2022 @ 11:26 AM|

Lead Image source: edited using Pixlab App

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PREVIOUS ARTICLES:

"A day in Town"

"Holy Good Friday and an Instant Birthday Celebration"

"Someone who Believe in Me"

"A Day with a Nonstop Rain and a Sudden Brownout"

"A Day Imperfect but I Chose to believe that its Perfect"

"Food Preference: This or That Challenge"

"I Ended up Hurting Myself for Expecting Too Much"

"My April Lists of Goals"

"Feeling ill Monday with a sudden Twist!"

"Celebrating New Year's Day of BATHALA and my Godchild's Third Birthday!"

"Friday, First Day"

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Comments

I know your old self when you were active here. Please don't be sad, mate if you are surrounded by negativities then this is the time to prove yourself. Just wake up from your bed and do productive things and say no more to negativities. Start interaction here with new people and choose interesting topics to write no matter how much time it will take. God bless you dear, mate.

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2 years ago

Thank you mate. I don't have much to say but I really appreciate your effort and concern by giving me such kind of advice. I will surely put that in mind. I really just hope that it will not take SO much time. I am really wanting my old self be back for good. Hehe. God bless you too! :)) <3

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2 years ago

I know God is with you sis, sana magbalik na dati mong sigla po.

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2 years ago

Sana nga bumalik na siya agad-agad sis para ba sumaya na ulit kalooban ko. Hehe. Masyado ko nang nilulunod sarili ko sa stress. But, trying to be strong. Kaya ko to. Kakayanin! :)) Salamat sis. <3

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2 years ago

Exhale and inhale lang ate sis,,, be calm and patient. Ang tanan lumalabay lamang, I know malagpasan ra nimo ang mga trials ug struggle nga imohang giatubang karon. Don't pressure yourself ate sis. Iampo ug isalig lang ang tanan to our Almighty Father because nothing is impossible to Him. Cheer up ate sis,God bless you and more powers. I know you are tough💪

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2 years ago

Makahilak man pud ta'g popcorn ani dzai sis. Hehe. Bitaw, lagi. Ana man jud nang kinabuhi. Bun.on jud ka permi sa mga pagsuway ug mga kabalaka. I starting naman na pud nga ibalik kung unsa ko ka madasigon ba. Siguro, naa pud lagi ko'y health problems ba. Permi man kapoy ahung lawas gud. Ja bisan nag.vitamins ko, permi ko giduka.😅 Salamat sa advice nimo dzai sis. Imbes ako'y magulang, ako naman nuon ang gihatagan ug advice sa manghud. Hehe

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2 years ago

Hehehe,your welcome ate sis. Maybe over fatigue ra ka ate, ayaw palabi ug stress. Amping always ate sis.

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2 years ago

Over fatigue or sadyang resulta nani sa ahung pagsige ug overthink dzai sis. Hehe

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2 years ago

Ayaw palabi ate sis kay ikaw rasad ang mag antus. Ilingaw-lingaw rana ate sis.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi. Mangita pa ko'g kalingawan ani. Magpa.massage kaha ko no para mabignat ning mga kaugatan. Haha. Para ma.release ning mga kakapuyan sa lawas. Hehe

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2 years ago

Maayu pa ate sis,, pampawala sad sa mga pamaul or panuhot,heheheh

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2 years ago

Lagi, ag problema pud laman lagi kay wa may muhilot lagi.. Hahaha

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2 years ago

Mao rpd...

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2 years ago

Gani. Mahadlok naman gud ko ug si mama ang muhilot kay tinud.on man ug pislit. Haha. Labing sakita muhilot tas dang kasaba kay gahi lagi kuno ug ulo. Sige ug kaligo ug hapon tas patun.og. Haha

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2 years ago

Mothers knows best jd ate sis😅 maninuod d i ug manghilot ate....

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2 years ago

Mao lagi. Nahh, tinud.on man jud ug pamislit dzai sis..Ahu ganing papa kay sakitan pud. Haha

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2 years ago

Hahahaha, ambis kay mahuwasan mapun-an d i hinuon ang pamaol ate sis.

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2 years ago

Baw, unsay sekreto ni mama nga inag pila kaadlaw nga sunod-sunod nga hilot mawa man pud ag sakit. Pero lagi na, mura pud ug gikulata inag hilot. Haha

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2 years ago

You are not the Renren that we know before, you've change 🥺. I hope we can see the real you again on thr coming days. I know you can get through to whatever you're experiencing rn. You can. Just start thinking on the happy days that you have and wash away those negativities in your system Fighting mare.🤛🤛🥰

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2 years ago

Ako nga rin mare eh. Di ko na kilala sarili ko..Pero, I'm trying naman na ulit na maging masiglahin. Baka may health problems din. Magpatingin na kaya ako? Haha. Bitaw, seryoso. Thank you sa concern mare. For sure, malalampasan ko din to. God is with me!😇☝️

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2 years ago

Basta kung ano man yan mare ha, fighting kang. Balik kana samin di na kamo galit.

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2 years ago

Hehehe.. Babalik din ako mare. Sana talaga, hindi masyadong matagalan.😅

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2 years ago

Dili jud malikayan sis nga mag nega ta usahay ma questioned nato atong self, but just don't put to much pressure sa imu self, naa c God nimu, challenges ra na, ug kabalo si God nga kaya na nimu, just take a deep breath, take some time to unwind and relax. Been to that situation before sissy, and I know how it feels, Fighting lang, for sure Maka work ra ka puhon. 😘💕🤗

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2 years ago

Mao lagi. Kanang muabot nata sa pungo nga makaingon nalang ta'g "Nganong naa pa man ko nganhi aning kalibutana? Aning sitwasyona?" Dili jud malikayan nga ma.pressure uie, samut na kung ang mga tawo pud sa imong palibot, labaw pud nang.pressured sa imoha.

Maghuwat ko ana sis. Hangtud kanus.a pud lagi kaha. Hehe.. Thank you sa advice sis. :)) <3

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2 years ago

Just make sure to take time to redeem yourself sis. God is always with you.

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2 years ago

I will do that my friend. Thank you so much for your concern. :)) <3

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2 years ago

It is well with your soul my dear, I believe God will perfect everything about you. Take care of yourself dear

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2 years ago

Whether we see Him or not, He will surely perfect everything in our lives my friend. We just have to believe. His time will come. Take care of yourself too. :))

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2 years ago

One sign you are experiencing is that there is no peace within you my friend. I've also felt the same way, everyone was very depressed and even became very lazy because the burden of life was barely felt. your actions are right friends to pray and I know when you pray the role of the Lord Jesus to turn you into peace will bear fruit and remember my friend let go of everything that has happened don't think about it so that peace and peace will return

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2 years ago

I guess I just have to put in mind that past can never be changed my friend. All I need to do right now, is to let go those pains and strive to achieve peace in mind and in my heart as well. Thank you so much for your advice. :))

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2 years ago

It's well. Just make sure you take your time to get yourself back

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2 years ago

Short but precised! Thanks for such advice my friend Jerry. I will make sure to get back on track. The sooner, the better.

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2 years ago

Deep sleep and calm mind will be of great help. Over thinking can also spoil your health. Just pray and be at peace.

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2 years ago

You said it right my friend. It will really spoil our minds, if we keep on overthinking things. Thank you :))

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2 years ago

Take your time to heal yourself this kind of wound in our heart is something that can be healed in the matter of time but in the way of you finding the back your track. Always remember that you are not alone in all of those times.

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2 years ago

Indeed, I think it will really take time for me to be able to get back in track Jan.. Hope for the best though. Thanks for such kind of advice. :))

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2 years ago

Stay forward ma'am, look for the good things that you want and don't allow your negativities prevails on your thoughts. Be steadfast.

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2 years ago

Thanks for that advice my dear friend Natsu. A big help, really! :))

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2 years ago

This too shall pass mamsh. Pagpakalig-on lang. Stay positive lang sa outlook in life. Dili pa jud tingale mi atung time. Makatrabaho ra ka puhon mamsh. About your love life, tagai sa lamang ug space to think inyong kaugalingon. I hope you'll feel better soon.

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2 years ago

Salamat Mamsh. Mao lagi, unta Mamsh. Unta sa dili madugay muabot na. Hapit na jud tulo katuig, wala gihapon.. Hayys! Hmm...Space na space na gyud kaayo Mamsh. Bisan gani online siya, dili naman ko ganahan mupatim.aw. Dili nako gusto nga i.seen-seen ra ko ug dili tubagon ahung tawag. Dili na laman pud ko mamugos uie. Kapoy na ug gukod Mamsh..

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2 years ago

Alam mo dahil sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin and as our age increase, may pagkakaiba talaga sa personality natin and okay lang kung feeling mo medyo naiba ka na ang mahalaga wala kang tinatapakang tao.

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2 years ago

Yun nga eh. Kaya lang, gusto ko sana talaga na bumalik yung dating ako ma masayahin, pala-kwento, yung bang ako na positive lang yung laging ang iniisip.. (Sigh)

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2 years ago

Just keep trust in creator and try to take attempt to recovery . Please don't be frustrated ok dear friend.

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2 years ago

I will try my best to be able to do that my friend Shawon. Thank you so much. :)) <3

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2 years ago

its welcome dear friend ren

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2 years ago

😊😊😊

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2 years ago

Sorry to hear you feel like this. I would recommend you talk to your gp about this, they can often help you or suggest a therapist maybe?

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2 years ago

Should I Plint? I think I have to consider that recommendation from you my friend. Thank you for that. :)) <3

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2 years ago

God is with you sister and also many people are with you, and yes do not forget to smile like you do in your profile photo and various pictures MA'AM)) By the way, i too have been less active here these days in writing but I try to read many content here.

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2 years ago

I'll try to consider that bro. I mean, learning to smile again, genuinely. Hmm.. That's good to hear. And I want to try it for myself brother.. :))

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2 years ago

I can understand your plight dear, and I pray you receive mental peaceful to get rid of this frustration.

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2 years ago

Thank you for your understanding my dear and for your prayers. I really appreciate it. :)) 🤗❤️

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2 years ago

To be honest sis ang daming nabago din sakin, yung feeling na nakakapagod na lahat. Yung feeling na it's not healthy anymore.

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2 years ago

Ganyan na ganyan nga din talaga yung na-eexperience ko ngayon sis. Yun bang lagi ko nalang naiisip na parang wala naman ako'ng maiambag na maganda dito. Napapatanong pa ako na, deserve ko pa ba manatili dito. Ayy naku! Nega na naman.. Hehe

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2 years ago

Di pa ba mo okay ni partner mo mamsh? Okay rana mamsh. Pagsubok lang ang tanan basta pakatatag lang permi tas ampo gayud. Naay plano si God. Kung gusto mo mubalik sa old self mo mamsh to make you happy. Do it mamsh. I know kaya mo yan. Anytime pwede ta mubalik sa atong old self.

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2 years ago

Wa nako kahibaw Mamsh. Kung okay pa ba mi, ma-okay pa ba mi. Or unsa. Two weeks na jud nga wa mi communication. Imposible pud ug wa sija maka.realize ana. Permi man pud unta sija nga mag.online pero ambot ba. Tas dili napud ko ganahan nga ako ang mag.initiate, kapoy nako sige'g gukod Mamsh..

Bisan lisod, pero pilion na naho nga magpakalig.on Mamsh. Kahibaw man pud lagi ko nga pagsuwat ra ni. Ug mao ni realidad sa kinabuhi. Dili sa tanang panahon, malipayon ta. Naa ju'y times nga suwayon tas kapalaran. Hehe.

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2 years ago

Two weeks mamsh? Dugay na mamsh. Ano nangyari niya mamsh. Mamsh unta ma okay pamu dugay na raba mo kaayo. Feeling ko gipairal ang pride mamsh. Gayud mamsh sakto sad kapoy gayud gukod.

Mao gayud mamsh tinuod na. Naa gayud mga times na daghan challenges mamsh. I-ampo lang ang tanan mamsh. Mahuman ra ang tanan.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi Mamsh. Amnot naunsa sija..Nahh, di na laman ko pud magsamuk.samok kay the last time na ahu nang gibuhat, wa ra'y nahitabo. Wa man gani naka.chat nganong wa nija matubag. As in kapila ko ug tawag nija pero wa ju'y tubag. Ug ma.okay maajo pero ug dili, sige naay rason ug nganong wa na ma.okay Mamsh.. Ana ra gud. Though sakit na siya huna.hunaon pero ug mao man gani na ang mahimong rason para mahigmata napud ko, dawaton na laman na Mamsh.

Mahuman ra jud ning tanan Mamsh.

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2 years ago

Sorry mamsh pero be positive parin mamsh. I know maayos pana ninyo mamsh. Kadugay na ninyo. In ana na siya mamsh pag mag away mo mamsh? Pakalig on lang mamsh. I-enjoy imung life. Makalagot bitaw gayud ng mutawag naka mamsh tas dili mutubag tas dili man lang mu chat or text kung unsay reason nganung wala matubag.

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2 years ago

Di man na siya ing.ana sa una Mamsh uie. Natinga bitaw ko nganong nausab na siya karun. Lahi na jud. Kanang mag.away mi karun, pasagdan ra ko nija makatug nga huot ang dughan.

Mao lagi Mamsh, maong karun, di nalaman pud ko magpatim.aw ug dili sija. I know, ana nga part napairal naho ahung pride, pero naa man pud siguro ko'y igu nga rason ana. Usa na naa, kanang ijang pagpasagad na laman sa mga problema namo.

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2 years ago

Mao ba mamsh. Murag nabag o siya mamsh. Nakuan sad ko kung unsay reason basta i-ampo lang mamsh.

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2 years ago

Dili jud mura Mamsh, nabag.o jud sija..

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2 years ago

Mao ba mamsh. Sorry mamsh. Unta mawala ng iyang pride mamsh para magkaayos namu.

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2 years ago

Nahh, ambot Mamsh ug muasa pa ba ko anang butanga. Sakit c.e pero makapuol man kinaija Mamsh uie. Makawad.anay ug gana.

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2 years ago

Kasabot ko nimu mamsh. Kung Inana gayud murag makawad anay gana. Sayang lang mamsh kay dugay namo.

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2 years ago

Mao bitaw Mamsh. Pero dili man lagi natu matag-an ag huna-huna sa tawo. Bisan pag pila pa mo katuig, dili na mag matter kung dili pud na haom jud sa mga plano Niya.☝️ Siya sa jud ang nasayod sa tanan. Bisan pa man naa gud nato ang choice, apan kung Iyahang will pud ang masunod, sakita man na, wa ta'y choice kundi dawaton. Temporary raman lagi ang tanana sa kalibutan Mamsh. Naa man gani uban nga labaw pa sa kadugayon sa among panag-uyab pero buwag man gihapon.

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2 years ago

Makarelate c.e ko ani mamsh. 5 years mi sa akong ex mamsh pero nagbuwag gihapon mi. Si God ra gayud makabuot sa tanan mamsh.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi. sa panahon karun, dili na jud magmatter ang kadugayon sa relasyon. Kana jud dapat magpatigbabaw ang mutual understanding ug ang sincerity ninju as partners. Tiaw mo na, awa karun, nakita jud naho nga malipayon ka's imong pares ron Mamsh. :)) <3 Makasana-all man pud laman ta'g pinakalit. Hehe..

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2 years ago

Mao na giingon mamsh na yeras and months are just a number lang gayud. Kung dili gayud kamu dili gayud. Inana nahitabo sa akong ex. Pagka 2019 mi nagbuwag. Salamat mamsh. Happy na kaayo ko karun sakong partner mamsh.

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2 years ago

Truth! Maong we better choose kung asa ta malipay ug si kinsa jud ang maghatag natu ug kalipay in a way na, mag.yake part pud na ma.live to the fullest nato ang life here on earth. Ug nakita jud na naho ninjung duha ron Mamsh. :))

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2 years ago

Gayud mamsh. Usahay kailangan ta mu let go kung nag suffer na ta pag ayo. Sa amu mamsh ako may mi let go kay murag guol lang ko permi ato na time tas nasakit pa gayud ko.

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2 years ago

Praying for you to be in the state where you want to be.

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2 years ago

Salamat Mamsh🤗❤️

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2 years ago