"I Ended up Hurting Myself for Expecting Too Much"

Avatar for renren16
2 years ago

"All I want is a good guy. Are my expectations far too high?..." Are you familiar with this song lyrics? Its from a song entitled, "All I want" by Olivia Rodrigo. I even made a TikTok content of this song. I sung it in acapella while I was in my bed, thinking about the things that I have been through since past few days. I'm a kind of embarrassed because before I recorded that content I was crying, that is why I was out of tune. For some of you here who visited my TikTok account, I bet you have watched it already.

What it takes to be a good guy? Or let me say, what are my standards that considers a man, a good one.

Someone who will accept ALL my flaws.

- That man should love for who and what I am, both my good and bad side. Someone who will accept me WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Someone who will accept my status. I mean, how I live my life. And most especially, someone who will RESPECT MY FAMILY.

Someone who will not make me jealous with other girls.

- That man should know his limits. I mean, when I say that I don't want him to go near with other girls, I don't want him to follow this or that girl because I get jealous, he should do it. I want a man that will respect and understand how I feel. I don't want to keep repeating myself that I get jealous, especially because I am his girl. (If he really thinks about me as his girl) He should avoid those things which can trigger my jealousy or insecurities.

Someone who will give his time and attention.

- I don't oblige a man to be with me 24/7. Knowing the fact that he might get busy, I can understand that. But, as a man, if he really think about his girl, whatever excuses it is, he should spare some time with me. He should let me know what is he doing, where did he go and with whom, so that I can be complacent. If he can't chat or call me because his phone out of battery, he should still do his best to find ways to contact me and let me know what happen. "Kahit busy ka pa, kung talagang nag-alala ka sa partner mo, hahanap at hananap ka talaga nang paraan para hindi siya mag-alala sayo."

Someone who will support my dreams.

- I want that man to give me a helping hand. I want him to support me from my ups and downs. Someone that compliments me in my little achievements and someone who will encourage me to keep trying my best.

Someone whom I can Trust my whole life.

- Applying some of the lyrics, "I won't fight for love, if you won't meet me halfway." I want that man to make me feel secure. I want that man to make me feel that I am the most beautiful girl in his world. That I can trust my heart and life to him. I know conflicts and misunderstandings can't be avoided, but I want a man that is an open-minded. I want a man that can't sleep when we had a fight. I want a man that can me a favor and initiates to solve the problem.

Last but definitely not the least;

SOMEONE WHO WILL NOT TAKE ME FOR GRANTED.

- There's no need to explain it further.

.

.

.

.

.

BUT, I thought that someone is MGD. (Crying) I expected too much from him but look at me now, I am just hurting myself. I know, I am to blame because I trusted him too much. I know, I am to blame because I gave everything to him. I know, I am to blame because I loved him so much, to the point that I set aside my dreams and just followed my heart instead using my brain. Maybe he also felt strangled because of my attitude, very bad attitude. That is why, I can't blame him too.

"Ang pangit kasi nang ugali ko. Lagi ako'ng nagagalit kung di siya makapag-reply sa mga chat ko at kung hindi niya sinasagot yung tawag ko. Iniisip ko lagi na may ginagawa siyang kalokohan pag ganun. Kapag nangungulit ako sa kaniya patungkol dun sa kasal, nagagalit siya kasi daw bakit ko siya minamadali, na.pe.pressure na daw siya. Siguro talaga no, nasakal na din siya. Sa side ko naman, hindi ko naman na kasi ma-feel yung assurance. Tas napapatanong nalang ako sa sarili ko kung bakit siya nagalit, natural lang naman yata yun na kulitin ko siya kasi nga engaged na kami tas nagtatabi na matulog. I considered us as Lived-in partners already.

"Sayang lang talaga kung OFFICIALLY mauuwi na kami sa hiwalayan. Imagine, 6 years din kami. Ang dami na din naming napagdaan, both good and bad." (Sigh)

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I don't want him to look bad. I respect his side. Hindi ko magawang magalit sa kaniya, kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na may pagkakamali din ako kung bakit humantong kami sa ganitong sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin naman isasara yung pintuan ko kung may chance pa talaga maresolve ang problema.

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That's it for now my Readcash fam. My apologies for sharing this too personal drama of my life. I want a way to voice out or express myself, I just don't have someone to talk to kasi. Thank you for spending your time. Take good care of yourselves!❣️

PRAISE AND GLORY BE ALL TO GOD!πŸ˜‡

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I want to extend my deepest gratitude towards the people that keep supporting my works in here. To my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; (old, new, and renewed ones). Having you as my Readcash family and virtual friends, gives me the an immense sense of satisfaction. Thank for the love and support you have given to me. Thank you for being my everyday inspiration and motivation to keep doing this thing. Thank you for making my Readcash journey fruitful. May the Lord God bless us more fruitful days, months, and years to come!

Special Thanks to @joydigitalsolutions and @SolitaryStar for becoming my new sponsors. God bless you more blessings to come to you and your families.πŸ’•

Just Love!❀️

@renren16

xoxo(*˘︢˘*).q*β™‘

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|#240| 5th Article of the Month

|04.06.2022 @5:58 PM|

Lead Image source: edited using Pixlab App

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PREVIOUS ARTICLES:

"My April Lists of Goals"

https://read.cash/@renren16/my-april-lists-of-goals-98c38a28

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https://read.cash/@renren16/feeling-ill-monday-with-a-sudden-twist-8931d502

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Comments

Ate sis pwede muhilak😭😭😭 I feel you. And yesterday we broke up with my partner because of everyday "DUDA" sakit sa part ko kasi buntis pa nmn ako...huhuhuhu we ended up our relationship 8yrs &10 months and 5days yesterday.

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2 years ago

WHAT!? Hindi na ba talaga yan maayos pa sissy? Pano naman yung magiging anak niyo?

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2 years ago

Hindi ko alam sissy,, siya mismo yung nakipaghiwalay... And now, nagpapakatatag akong lalo para sa anak ko...

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2 years ago

Hala uie.. Ngano man intawn na sija sis. Karun na nuon nga magkaanak namo'ng duha.. Sani c.e pud na..Mao jud lagi na ubang laki after makuha ang tanan nimo, buhian raka's way duha duha..

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2 years ago

Ok na ate sis... Siya ra pd ang nangitag way para magkauli mi... Sa iya ra daw kalagot maong naingato.

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2 years ago

Mao jud na noh? Basta mada tas emosyon, labi na kalagot, bisan unda jud ang musod sa utok natu. Makadesisyon ta nga dili damhon, ja kana pa jung dili maayu nga desisyon..

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2 years ago

Mao jd ate sis... Samut nag makadawat kag sakit nga mga sulte☹️

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2 years ago

Korek. Tas ang ending kay magpailob ra gihapon ka, para sa kapakanan sa injung relasyon. Nature naba jud sa baje na mahimong marupok?πŸ™‚

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2 years ago

A man who can both respect your sentiment and family, that's crucial. If a man will sacrifice and make a distance from what you've been telling him, well it's sounds good.

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2 years ago

Well, let's just hope for the best to come and happen my friend..

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2 years ago

We're same feeling I have my virtual boyfriend which is palagi ko siya inaaway pag Hindi din siya back reply sa mga chats ko sometimes kasi online soya pero sobrang tagal makareply kaya tuloy ano na mga niisip natin Hehehe. Wishing na that hiwalayan po is di matuloy I see Naman kung ga ano mo siya ka mahal. Always good luck in your relationship

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2 years ago

Noh? Bakit kasi ginagawa nila tayonh praning. Nakakainis. Alam naman nila na ikakagalit natin pag ganun pero bakit ginagawa pa rin nila. Porket mahal natin sila, parang easy lang din sa kanila na paiyakin tayo sa kakaisip nang masama.. Hayy naku. Boys talaga.. :((

Thank you sis..

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2 years ago

its not your fault to expect. Its so natural. As a girl you must have soft heart and you wish to get real love. I respect your expectation.

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2 years ago

Thank you for understanding that my friend. I guess, I just need to give him some time to think also..

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2 years ago

Dati ganyan din ang gusto ko kaso kaso nagsawa din ako kaya pinabayaan kuna siya kung anung gusto niya,kasi kung aasa ka na gagawin niya lahat ng gusto ko,masasaktan kalang hehehe

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2 years ago

Sinanay niya kasi ako na lagi ako'ng naka.rely sa kaniya. Sinanay niya ako na may laging siya na nakikita ko, kasama ko, tas yung biglaang nagbago yung sitwasyon, ang hirap mag-adjust lalo na kasi nga pag nag-aaway kami, parang pinapabayaan niya lang ako na magresolba na nauuwi sa pag-iyak ko..

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2 years ago

I also want all these from a man, while reading through your article, I just kept asking myself: "can I truly find such a man?" Ouch! And now, I didn't understand the other words you typed in your language. πŸ₯Ί But if it's what I'm thinking you typed: "be strong ren, the good guy you crave for would come."

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2 years ago

I really just hope that we can still work for it my dear Ella.

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2 years ago

Mare, trust. Yong dapat an meron sa inyo. Wag nyong iwawala yan. Wala na akong baluta sayo ee, anong nangyayari sa inyong dalawa bat parang tumatabang n? Are you okay paba πŸ₯Ί

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2 years ago

Oo nga mare eh. Masasabi ko naman na may trust ako sa kaniya. Pero kasi may mga times na parang gusto niya lang din na maging praning kakaisip nang masama.. Yun nga eh, hindi ko ma.feel kung totoo pa ba siya sa'kin. Ang sakit sa heart mainlove pala.. Haha.. Pero siyempre may part pa rin sa'kin na gusto ko na maging okay kami. Di man kami bumalik sa dating sweetness, at least yung LOVE talaga andun. Yung sweetness, napagtatrabahuan naman yon.

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2 years ago

Aigooi, kaya ayaw ko ma inlove. Baka mas malala pa magawa ko kapag ako yan.

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2 years ago

Malay natin, bigla mo nalang din yan maramdaman mare. Haha.. Baka katabi mo na pala yung magpaparamdam sayo kung pa'no mainlove.. Hehe

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2 years ago

How old are you ba? I broke up with my ex pinoy 6 years din kami. Matagal din ako nagka jowa. Kung di maging kayo, I suggest you should enjoy your life. You will find a better guy eventually.

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2 years ago

I'm turning 24 na po this coming October.

Hmm.. Hindi ko pa po maimagine yung sarili ko na wala siya.. Aguyy! Hehe.. Mahal ko kasi yung taong yon.. Hayss..

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2 years ago

I broke up with the ex at the age of 23 or 24. I met my husband when I was 29.

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2 years ago

we all want to meet a good guy sa lahat ng nabanggit mo sis, but sometimes dahil.sa sobrang mahal natin ang isang tao hindi na natin alam na minsan yung pagmamahal natin nakakasakal na pala..

Be strong lang po..

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2 years ago

Totoo yan.. Siguro ang gagawin ko nalang muna is yung bigyan siya nang time na gusto niya for him na makapag-isip about us, our relationship at kung may magandang ending ba sa'min. Hayss. Praning din kasi ako. Haha

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2 years ago

akala ko nga ako lang yung praning haha, buti may kasama pala ako πŸ˜…πŸ˜…, hehe give him time sis, minsan na re realize nilang mahal nila tayo kapag binigyan natin sila ng kahit maliit na space lang for themselves hehe

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2 years ago

Yan nga sis eh.. Ngayon na naman, may chats na naman ako ma hindu na naman niya pinansin.. Aguyy

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2 years ago

hala.. galit ba sha na matitiis ka talaga ??

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2 years ago

Ewan ko sa kaniya sis. Hindi ko na alam talaga kung pagkakatiwalaan ko pa ba yung taong yon. Hayy

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2 years ago

Mamsh lisud gayud kung mag expect ka sa tawo ug grabe na layo raman d.i sa expectations mamsh. Like sa akong ex mamsh. Happy man ko niya pero daghan kog dreams mamsh pero kana bang suporta na wala nako makita niya. Mibitaw gayud ko nagdugay mamsh kay ako lang nag suffer.

Pero sa inyo lahi sad mamsh. I know ma settle ninyo na mamsh. Baka mainit lang ulo niya mamsh. I know magbati rin kayo mamsh. 6 years namu dugay na gayud tas engage nasad mo. Ma settle lang na mamsh.

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2 years ago

Hopefully Mamsh.. Problema raning tanan, naa lagi ni kasulbaran. Maghandum lagi gihapon ko na muabot jud ang panahon na ija ko'ng suportahan sa ahung gusto kay ang bottomline, ug kami man gani sa umaabot, ang tanan nahung paningkamot para man sad na sa among kaayuhan, kauban na pud diha ang para sa ahung mga ginikanan. Syempre, kinsa ba gu'y dili mangandoy ug kinabuhi nga haruhay. Dili man daghang kwarta, kana ba lagi pud nga makasustinar jud sa mga panginahanglan , mahatagan ug ipa-experience pud nila ang kinabuhi nga sila na pud ang mauna..

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2 years ago

Oo mamsh. Don't worry mamsh. I know ma settle lang na. I hope na musabot sad si partner mo sa side mo mamsh. I know makasabot lang siya mamsh. Basta stay strong lang always mamsh.

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2 years ago

Salamat sa suporta Mamsh.. Hehe.. Mao na lang na'y atung i look forward nga mahuman raning tanan nga pagsuway..

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2 years ago

You're always welcome mamsh. Oo mamsh gayud. Mulabay ra ang tanan mamsh.

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2 years ago

Gajud. Tanan man sad jud, lumalabay ra...

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2 years ago

Be strong lang always Maam. God's will soonest, you will be healed by time eventually.

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2 years ago

Mulumanay man lagi gihapon sir uie.. Hehe...Baje baya lagi. Di jud malikayan na maluya ug mahuyang.

Tuod sir, nakapass namo's requirements? Mu.take mo ug EPT?

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2 years ago

okay rna maam, ma okay raka puhon..😊

nag pass nakog LOI Maam, tapos mo take kog EPT if pwede pa

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2 years ago

Hmm.. naa baja to'y memo nga iuban daw ang ept atong LOI sir? Basin sa monday pa ko mu.pass uie...Nagtinapul lagi. hahaha

Bitaw wa pa ko ka.print..

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2 years ago

There are some people who are jealous and cannot tolerate the progress of others,, I pray that your path will be smooth,, And you will have all those friends who will always inspire you,,,

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2 years ago

Thank you for that my friend. I really just hope that everything will be settled.. In God's time..

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2 years ago

Do not feel bad sharing these things. We all have different dramas in life and you are worthy remember that. You deserve someone who can always value your worth.

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2 years ago

Thank you sissy.. Thanks for hearing me out. Parang gusto ko na naman umiyak...Hehe

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2 years ago

Compose yourself. You are worth it. Bata ka pa namn siguro so dapat limit yourself sa mga ganahan.

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2 years ago

May "siguro" talaga Mr. Valentine. Hehe. Well, mag-tu-twenty four na po ako soon...

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2 years ago

Ay same lang pala tayo hahaha kala ko teenager kapa.

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2 years ago

Teenage ka diyan. Hahaha..

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2 years ago

Give him a little space lang kaha sa mamsh. Basin both of you need that. Ing-ana man jud lagi ng relasyon. And I understand you kay lagyo man pud lagi mo. I hope maokay mo mamsh.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi Mamsh.. Mao na lang sa jud na siguro ahung buhaton. Love man gud to naho sija uie.. Atud ning pagbati.a, masakitan man pud ta'g wa sa oras.. Hayss.. Nganong ni.enter lagi.. Hehe

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2 years ago

Why are you using past sentences, sister. He is still there with you. Don't overwhelm yourself with negative vibes.

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2 years ago

Sorry brother.. :((

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2 years ago

Please wipe your tears renren and move on with your life, as a guy, I have been heartbroken by girls in the past, but i chose to move on, there are a million guys out there. Your God sent will locate you, that I can promise. And yes, you aren't to blame, fate is...

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2 years ago

Well, I'm still hoping that everything will be settled for us Michael. I love him and I still can't imagine myself without him..Not now, it never will..

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2 years ago

Lalim ng hugot ni renren!

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2 years ago

Oo nga Ma'am.. Medyo nahihirapan lang kasi ako i.handle mag-isa. Wala kasing ibang masabihan. Nahihiya din kasi ako na i.share sa mama ko, kaya ang ending, dito ko naipalabas yung problema ko.m Hehe

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2 years ago