Today is such a tiring day for me. There is so much frustration that built up against myself that I found myself on the verge of tears.
So many what ifs, and thoughts of what I should have done instead. But that is all for nothing since no one can turn back time.
My frustration made me more sensitive which made it difficult to communicate. Thank God for blessing me with an understanding and amazing partner though.
He did not make me feel bad when I told him about my feelings. He did not try to belittle my worries. He listened to me and let me tell him things. And he did his best to cheer me up.
My feelings were bursting out of me so I decided to share some of it on noise.cash. The post ended up being longer than expected so I decided to cut it and just continue my thoughts here.
SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU
I remember that a few years ago, I was in a relationship where I had to ask for the bare minimum and still get treated as if I was so demanding for even asking. I remember that at the end of it all, I was the one who says "sana all/ hope everyone can have that" everytime I see healthy relationships.
But now I can say that I am in a healthy relationship with an amazing person. I never had to ask for bare minimum because he gave me much more than. I also have no need to play a guessing game because he tells me his thoughts clearly, and I do the same as well.
Today, I was feeling so down because of some difficulties with academics. Even though is away from me, he still did his best to offer me some comfort. Words, and his presence are more than enough for me. Just knowing that he wants to cheer me up already made me feel happier. Yet he still gave me money for midnight snack just to cheer me up.
He knows that I like to eat my sadness away, and I usually have midnight snacks. However, I was unable to take one yet because I was busy with an activity. He sent money and decided to talk to me until he feels so sleepy.
I appreciate talking with him past the usual time because I know that he wakes up early since he has OJT. But when I need some company, he always makes time for me.
I'm not even sure if he can see this since I know he has not check noise.cash for a long time now. But still, I wanted to flex him even if he does not know it.
I think I will end my post here. I am hoping everyone has a peaceful sleep.
-my noise.cash post on November 22, 2021/ 1:11AM
Look at how thoughtful he is. He even chose a cute theme that I can relate with at the moment.
Food always help. And food ALWAYS cheer me up. I blurred his name and messages because I wanted to keep it for myself.
This is the midnight snack that we decided to get. I had some chicken fillet silig with 2 hashbrowns.
I really liked the hashbrown and Noshi seemed to like it as well. I think, I might ask my sisters to order here again next time.
By the time our food arrived, my partner is already asleep. My sister is also working so I stopped doing my activity and decided to rest.
The decision to rest had almost been a decision to quit had it not been for the support if my partner. I was tempted to just pass a program that looked like it might work but has errors instead of trying ti figure it out.
But I did not need to resort to that. I woke up at around 6:30 AM to supposedly do my activity hut I still feel sleepy since I slept past 2:00 AM. So I decided to nap for an hour more.
After that, I took a bath and did my morning routine which ate up another hour. I was not panicking since I planned to pass it at 11:00 AM.
Anyway, when I finally sat down by 8:00 AM, my mind is bursting with the ideas I have been thinking over before I fell asleep. By 9AM I had managed to solve the problem I encountered last night.
The next few minutes were spent polishing my activity, as well as rechecking each part of the program to make sure that it works according to the instructions.
At exactly 9:59AM, I was able to pass my activity. This is an hour earlier that I had planned.
The program might probably look simple to others and maybe it really is simple. After all, I was able to finish it after I got over some part. I guess that my unfamiliarity with the siftware played a part to my difficulties last night. Well, that and because my laptop kept acting up.
I am planning to get my laptop looked at on my birthday as some sort of birthday gift for myself. Hopefully, the problem can be fixed because I really do not fancy buying a new laptop yet.
Closing words
There will be times when frustration will get the best of us. Times when we might feel like giving up, and we lose confidence in our abilities. Most times, we have to pick our own selves back up. But sometimes, someone will be there to offer you a hand. They may not make our problems giw away but they will be able to give us the strength to continue fighting.
I am incredibly lucky to have someone who can be my safe haven for when I need it. I hope that everyone reading this (and those who aren't) have someone they can depend on. It does not necessarily need to be a romantic partner, it just needs to be someone who can offer solace when your mind is a mess.
I mostly want to keep my relationships private, but sometimes I feel the need to flex the amazing people in my life.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
September 2021 Articles Summary
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So true, someone will surely be there to help us out in the frustrating moment.