@Ruffa
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I missed another opportunity to go out with my friends Seriously, I know that I'm just making excuses. I'm avoiding it deliberately coz I don't feel like going outside anymore. I also feel like I am to shy to meet with them now. I like the idea to be honest. I want to go and bond with them. They are not even asking for all day coz the plan is meet at maybe 4PM and we will just eat out, talk about life or what happened in the past few years that we didn't meet. I really really want to go, but my mind just wont cooperate with me. You know what I first thought when I saw these two friend of mine met and eat out just the two of them. First thing that comes to my mind is my looks. I am so, I mean I don't have the confidence anymore unless we will eat with our mask on. Which is very much impossible. But I don't really want to show my big and ugly face to everyone huehue. My confidence level just hit rock bottom. The problem is on me, I can't find the courage to face them all. This negative thoughts in my head is what's stopping me. Like "If we eat I have to remove my face mask and I don't want that." Or "I don't have a presentable clothes with me." And blablablabla. Seriously, it is just those petty things but hayssstttt! I don't know anymore! It's like when Mama, Sis and Me went to the Plaza last year. Mama said that Sis will treat us and I am excited about it really but when we're finally on the Burger House and I thought "how am I gonna eat my foods. I don't want to show my face to the world huehue!" That's why I find a table where if we sit our back was facing to everyone. Good thing there's a table like that in that burger house. Am I really introvert now? I'm not like this before so I don't know why my confidence just vanish like that. Where to find you again my confidence? You're like the love of my life that until is still nowhere to be found, aigoyahhhh! I know namam that they are not the kind of person who easily judge anyone by appearance but my mind won't believe it. It will still be filled with so much thought that affects my thinking. Maybe this is also thr effect of staying in my room for years now. I don't socialize anymore that's why I'm afraid to go outside. I can go with my facemask on but if I will remove it then I want to run away from everyone in that very moment. Am I really this introvert now? I have no confidence, not good in socializing and I am just nothing who enjoy my own little world that I created for myself. I feel more safe here. No eyes will watch for me like I am a strange species that is being examine using a microscope. I feel like they are reading even my thoughts. I'm like a criminal too when I'm outside. I cant stop my eyes from moving too much. And I for me to stop that I need to make my eyes busy from my phone. And my face mask should still cover my face. Even my Mama is saying I have a boring life. I don't want to go out and just want to stay in my room. But what to do, aside from laziness, my confidence and my crazy head just keep on messing with me. No to socializing! That's what my head's screaming. Even right now. They keep on saying that I have a boring life but they don't know that this ks what I enjoy the most. Much enjoyable than attending to some gathering with lot's of foods, to be honest. I love foods but I like more the peacefulness in my head. I don't want my head filles with only my negativity. That's why I'd rather choose to be in my comfort zone than go out and practice my social skills because I have zero of that. And I think I'll be awkward to my friends now. If they have a lot of stories to tell, I on the otherhand is lazy to share it with everyone because I hate talking now. I'll let my fingers do the talking. But will they allow me to talk like that? For sure nae. Aigooo.
Me is so bad 😞😔. ***Lead Image from Unsplash*** ***--*** **Recent Article** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/your-guardian-angel-415f8896#recent-article *↗️****One Ordinary Day*** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/one-ordinary-day-13297965 *↗️****How Bad It Is*** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/how-bad-it-is-9861c4af *↗️****How Naughty I can Get?*** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/how-naughty-i-can-get-a119db36 *↗️****The Power of Giving and How Great it Feels*** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/the-power-of-giving-and-how-great-it-feels-82fa8168 *↗️****Never Have I Ever: Valentine's Edition*** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/never-have-i-ever-valentines-edition-06cd0cac **Read these to Start in** **Club1BCH** https://read.cash/@Ruffa/memories-with-mama-and-aaron-2ea8bbe8#read-this-to-start-in-club1bch ***↗️******Club1BCH - The Genesis*** https://read.cash/@PVMihalache/club1bch-the-genesis-dbb27252 ***↗️******Club 1BCH 😱*** https://read.cash/@Eybyoung/club-1bch-df96508b ***↗️******What Is #Club1BCH?*** https://read.cash/@bmjc98/what-is-club1bch-914bdccd ***↗️******Club1BCH is Up!*** https://read.cash/@Eybyoung/club1bch-is-up-fbf69cde March 26, 2022 --
72 comments
I feel you sis ganyan din ako. Ayoko na sumama sa old friends ko. Ang laki na ng gap. Parang ang buhay ay nakatuon lang sa pagtatrabaho at pamilya haha
Awww parang nakakatamad na pati ano 🤧
Ganitong ganito ako sa mga nag aaya sakin ..lalo na pag outing ganun..ng mga classmates ko noon .. simula nung naenjoy kona ang saya sa pag iisa eh na addict na ako sa totoo lang ..kaya ngayon po eh madalang nalang ako nakikisama sa kanila ..pag sa family gathering nalang birthday ganun..pero limited din ang aking paglantad kasi ..maya maya ..nakaupo ako sa gilid eh tatanungin ako kung ano course ko which is undecided pa haha ..tas susunod naman ano na daw update sa buhay ko.. kaya mas better nalang na kabonding ang sarili..no questions, no hassle.
Haha oo, mas better na better talaga. Ewan ko ba, nakaka addict talaga mag isa. Mas may peace of mine ka pati.
"you are so boring" is something I have heard a lotttttt of times in my life too but people do not realize I actually love being myself and enjoy it more than going out with groups.. am so glad to learn there are people out there like me haha.. good for you sis, when time comes, nobody can survive in life like we do, don't ever feel bad about it
Seriously no, they have no idea that we just prefer to be alone and to be like that. It's mote enjoyable too haha. 🥰
Same tayo mare pag nagyaya sila to gala tapos ako hindi pupunta kasi tinatamad lumabas kay sometimes sinasabihan nila ako na KJ pero ignore ko nalang o kaya gawa ng ibang palusot hahaha
Hahaha hirap din magisip ng palusot minsan ano mareng aigoo haha
Boring tlga life mo madam. Labas2 din minsan 😁
Haha ee madamsss mas bet ko ang boring life ngani 🥴😼
Hooyst.. Labas ka naman minsan mare. Pero yung totoo, ako din ganyan pag may nag-ayaya sa'kin lalo na kung wala din ako'ng budget for gala-gala talaga. Mas gusto yung sa bahay lang, chillin', watching movies or Animes, mga ganun lang. Boring nga din siguro life ko.. Hahaha
Apirrrrrrr sa watching animes mareng, ahahaha. Mas prefer ko pa mag kulong sa bahay ee kesa gumala hahahs
Sis gumala ka pag trip mo talaga, may point naman siya pero mas maigi yung willing ka talaga pumunta. I do believe that you're beautiful sadyang nakakawala lang ng confidence yung pandemic hahah
Gagawin ko yan pag naburyong na siguro ako sa bahay hahaha. Kaso now hindi ee nsg eenjoy akong mag isa pa rin hahs
I understand where this is going. Kahit ano, noon I used to go out with my friends almost every day. But because this pandemic, masiyado akong na attached sa bahay tas naging home buddy. Ayoko na din ng masiyadong tao. Gusto ko, kami-kami lang ng friends ko. Para kasing culture shocked kapag ganon na lalabas after months of staying in the house. Hahaha
Ohooo, sayo dahil sa pandemic ako hahaha after maka graduate ng college at naexperience ang mag isa ayon naaddict na hshs
Lhh ate ropa naiintindihan kita lalo na sa part na tamad lumabas ng bahay HAHAHA 😆 diko din nga alam ano isusuot ko e kapag niyayaya nila ako kasi puro na maisisikip tsaka wala akong bagong damit haha
Hahaha yang sa mga damit din hahaha pero mas talaga ang pagiging addict kong magida at mag kulong sa kwrato ko 🤣
You need to get out of your comfort zone mare sometimes, but if you still don't like its okay, I am sure your friends will understand:)
Oo nga mareng i know that namsn peto what to do hahahs tinatamad talaga iz me 🤧😼
Hahaha! Pag nasanay ka na talaga minsan ang hirap na din baguhin. 😅
Labas labas din bka makasalubong mo na si MR.right
Hahaha ako na muna iiwas kay mr right hahahs
Ay yown laang🤣
kain² na tayo sa labas my, hayaan mo nang masilayan nila ung beauty mo. sila na mag adjust 🤣
Hahaha tinatamad ako lumabas ngaaa haha. Sa bahay nalang me kakain hahahaha
Hahaha ay sna lahat, may pang order sa foodpanda / grab food 🤣
Hooy lumabas ka rin naman pa minsan minsan haha wag puro si BCH inaatupag 😂
Hahaha wala ay, addict na ako kay read at noise at BCH. Wala na munang gala galaa, katamad ee hahahs
Madam, ang gand a mo kaya lalo na kapag nakasmile. Bakit naman nawala ang self confidence mo?baka kasi dahil di ka na masyado naglalabas madam. You're beautiful madam tandaan mo yan
Hahahaha ay dika sure madamssss uso filter hahahahs. Dauil ata jan madams, mas prefer ko ng sa bahay lang talsga. Diko manlang namimiss ang mamasyal aigooo
Sabagay, ako din eh di mahilig maglalabaslabas eh, gastos pa😂😂
Maybe next time
Labas labas rin ate. Kamukha mo talaga ate si Nayeon, yung bunny teeth hahahah. Minsan lang yan ate especially papayagan ka naman ng Mama mo haha
Ehhhh, ang layoooooo hahaha. Not sure din sa papayagan ah. Pero kakatamad talaga re hahaha
You are not a bad person my friend. Just you like to stay in comfort zone it's okay dear.
Yeah, thanks 😊
Haha ganyan ako dati sis nung nagkaroon kami ng problema ng mga frinds ko, childhood friend madlaang na ko lumabas ng bahay maya nung magaarak na ko ng college nandun sa utak ko na baka may sabihin sila. Ang igsi ng palda nun kung ano ano din iniisip ko. Haha ilang buwan din akong natengga sa bahay nun,nagbasa lang ng mga pocketbooks kaya bukay ko koon dun lang umiikot noon.
Ehhh pocketbook, if ganyan at may pocketbook gsnysn lang din talaga gagawin ko hahahs
Well I did spend my life till 19 like that same as you enjoying my peaceful lonely community. But after that I don't know what happened to me I am now a bit of extrovert type now. Somehow I gained confidence, I think I just wanted to experience what being extrovert feels. Now I am both, sometimes I don't go out in parties and sometimes I call and pick them myself. Lol everyone is a twisted soul here.
Ohooo haha, then you finally come out on your comfort zone while me, I'm already 27 but am still stuck here 😼🤧
Same ma'am kapag AYOKO talaga umalis Ng Bahay d talaga ako aalis ma'am wahahaha just like BAHALA KAYU DYAN BASTA AKO DITO LANG🤣 NAG PAPAYAN🤣
Hahha, seriously bat kayo ma'am ng ma'am sakin. Ate nga kasiiii 🤧 hahaha. Haha same with you basta masaya ako sa sarili kong mundo genern hahaha
Ganyan na ganyan din po ako natatakot ako na kumain o makipag kita sa kaibigan sa labas o kaya kahit malapit lang dito kasi nahihiya ako sa itsura ko 😅 feeling ko ijujudge ako ng mga tao kahit alam ko sa sarili ko na wala naman talaga silang pakialam.
OMG ganyan na ganyanndin ako, kung ano ano iniisip lahit na wala naman talagang pake ang iba sakin. Pero makulit kasi si isip ee 🤧
Sis wag maging confident sa sarili friend. Lakas lng ng loob kaylngan natin. Hahaha
Haha ewan ko ba sis ayaw ko talaga hahaha
Same Ruffa, actually today we will have a beach outing trip with my college friends I am fine with that but however we have eating sessions which I am embarrass to take off my mask, if only if I am clear skin I wouldn't be shy to go out. I told myself do not mind about it but when I look to myself sometimes, I will just say I hope I will healed so I don't have to hide hayss. God understands me I know.
Ateeee ruru you are so beautiful. Bakit ka naman nahihiya sa mukha mo? Hmmm. Sobrang mahiyain mo pala talaga sa personal ateee ruru nu ibang-iba sa dito. Hmm next time bawi ka naalng po.
Maybe you are enjoying your me time pa sis. Okay lang yan pero if you badly need social environment, try mo din. Alam mo there was a time na ganyan din ako. I always tend to say no, di ako pwede , busy ako and so on until ayun, di ko alam unit unti na ko nawawalan ng friends and that's a bit sad. Minsan try natin pero kahit kamustahan is enough na. Ok lang yun.
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