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A Great Pretender and a Big fat Liar

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Avatar for Ruffa
Written by   942
2 months ago

I'm okay! I'm good! This is nothing! Duh, this is the hundred time that I experience this, nothing's new. I can just shake it off again and my life will be back to a happy one. I'm good at it, hah. Time make me stronger that a problem like this is just a piece of cake. Shake it off, shake it off oh-oh!!! Oh, music, yes music - I need it. Life is just boring without music. This is a life saver. This will do, I can get on with my life with this. Music is life. And this will stay like until problems doesn't exist in this world anymore, I know it's impossible. Music is my savior, this gives meaning to my life.

Oh this feelings that keep on trying to take me down. You can make me feel sad, hopeless and exhausted but I'm big pretender! I can just pretend that everything is okay. I can laugh out loud because I'm good at it. I know how to make myself happy and this is just the weapon that you can't take away from me. Get everything Importants to me, hurt me more but I can get by it, because I know how to heal myself, alone! Even if you stamp my back to grovel on your faces.

I can do this, I can do this!!! This is the chant that I always pray because it helps me in every battle that I fought. I'll be down for a minute - hell! It didn't even reach 15 seconds and I can stand up on my own because I'm brave, I know how to fight. I know how to manipulate everything even my brain. Why? Because I can! I can do it but it takes a lot of courage. Because once I decided there is no turning back anymore. I decide it, so I'll hold on to it! My life sucks but I love it this way, I mean this pretention.

The perks of having no one by your side, I can live my life the way I want it. Off course I also want someone who will fight for me in every battle of life. Someone who will give me the assurance that I'm on the right track and everything that I'm doing is good, it's cool that I am awesome and I'm doing a great job. But, I decided not to look for someone like that anymore. I don't want to get used into it, I know people in our life won't stay with us forever. I don't want to depend on them too much. I don't want to cry once they decided to bid their goodbye.

Sure they can stay for me longer, but I know myself. I will keep on hodling to you even if you throw me outside of your window. Give me a punch and I will never woke up in the truth that you'll soon leave me too. I'll keep on pestering you because I'm used to being with you. That's why I decided to never care about anyone anymore. I'm alone yes, I have no one but I'm just saving myself for a heartache that will land at me if I continue caring with anyone. Why life is like that right, they give us someone only to leave us too in end.

But it's okay, I'm not making it a big deal. I'm not bitter or what, it's just that, this is how I live my life, until today. Because of this I was able to survive those times that I was in pain, and had no one to ask for a hand. I Pretend that I'm okay, I pretend that I'm happy even if I'm really not. It become my strength that no matter how big this problems is, I will see to it, that at the end it will be solved. You know how hard it is to face our own demons alone but tru pretending, I can little by little grasp it.

I'm good at pretending, I can laugh in front of you to show what I want you to see, but I'm actually hurting. I can give a good laugh to you but in reality, I can't do that to myself. I'm not as strong as I portray to all of you. I am weak, I have lot of insecurities and I'm a big fat lier. I say the opposite of what I actually feel, but you can't never tell it because I'm a good pretender. It's better to hide it and cry on my on, that's what I thought is right for me. As I have no one beside me, I learned to fight my own battle and just move on?

-Rosenda-


All of us has our own way of coping up with every problems that we encounter. It can affect us mentally and we also have our own way to face it. We have different approach on how we can lessen it. Well, wala na akong masabi kaya let's cut it here.

How about you? Are you good in hiding what you truly feel to everyone? You don't want them to see you as a weak person, you don't want to burden them with your problems and you just want to resolve it silently, alone?


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July 17, 2021

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Written by   942
2 months ago
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Comments

It depends on the case. LOL. There were times that I can pretend that I am ok but there were also times that I cannot control what I feel. Some people who know me can easily tell what I feel. Sometimes even with a single text, they can already predict my feelings. But in general, I know I am not a good pretender.

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4 weeks ago

Ate ruffa , waaahhh 😭. We really are so much alike. I can always relate to your articles especially when it's about your personal life.

This is sooo meee, I'm really good at pretending. I'm a great pretender tho. I always face people like nothing's happened. Sanay narin kasi akong sinasarili problema ko knowing na ako lang naman nakakaintintindi sa sarili ko 🤧. Tama ka po, just shake it off, mawawala din yan. Hindi naman kasi bago na sa'tin yung mga problema na yan.

Thank you for making us happy. Fighting lang ate ruffa 💪. Sana rin po ma crush back kana ng crush mo whahahaha

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2 months ago

Anlaaa, baka kapatid din kita sa kili kili 😱😂?.

Mas maigi na yang mag pretend, ipakita natin sa LAHAT na kaya natin. Kakayanin para sa economy ganern, wahahaha. Ayaw kong naglalabas ng sama ng loob talaga kahit kanino ee. Liban nalang if same kaming may problema baka magsabi ako. And sa Virtual Friend lang but in person? Nahhh, nevermind ahaha. Shake it off nalang all this feelings.

Naisingit oa talaga si kwash, wala na yarn. Hanap ulit bago, wahaha

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2 months ago

F*** feelings! Don't let anyone or any feelings take you down! Just follow your dreams and keep marching!

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2 months ago

Yayy to that Pvm, that's exactly what I'm doing 💪💪😁

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2 months ago

If its about me then I'm good of hiding what I'm really facing and remaining silent is one of my thing to fight against problems

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2 months ago

Same with me. It's bettee to solve it alone thay be a burden to everyone.

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2 months ago

I guess I'm not good at hiding to anyone aside from my family. Or maybe my mom notice pero di niya lang sinasabi. 😣

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2 months ago

Ehhh, ramdam ka nila for Noona. Ako kasi sadya namang simangot sa bahay, di ako lumalabas kaya di rin nila alam if may ganao ba sajin ahaha.

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2 months ago

yun lang....introvert strikes everyday sayo

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2 months ago

As for me, I'm not good of hiding, especially to my mama. She just noticed right away when I am feeling something unusual for her. Hayys.

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2 months ago

Haha, yun lang dama kasi ng mga mother yan ee. Basang basa nila sa face mo. Ako basta never talaga aki nag share ng problem sa kanila.

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2 months ago

Mabuti din naman yung nag.si.share ka paminsan, para din naman may ma take advice from them.☺️

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2 months ago

At some point in our lives, we all became a pretender and choose to be alone. But no matter how difficult life is. I am still here standing and continue to fight. I am so happy to meet you ate Ruffa. You bring joy to everyone you met ❤

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2 months ago

Oo nga, di rin talaga maiiwasan yan. And goods yan, basta faytsss sa hamon ng buhay. I'm just happy na mapasaya ang readers ko.

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2 months ago

❤❤

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2 months ago

This is so me. A great pretender. My friends always saw me smiling but they didn't know that behind those smiles I put on my face, a fought a silent battle. But that was before. Now, I'm already fine.😊

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2 months ago

Halos lahat naman ata tayo no, sakin kasi mas maigi na yang ganyan ee. Nas kaya kong mapilit si self na lumaban.

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2 months ago

Kaya nga eh. Hirap din kasi kung palatawa ka. Hirap ka lang paniwalaan kung magbukas ka ng problema. Kaya laban lang. Yakang-yaka mo yan.

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2 months ago

Yakang yaka mo iyan ikaw paba.💪. Strong ka kaya.

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2 months ago

Hahaha, oo naman ah, strong lang 💪💪💪

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2 months ago

Been a pretender to my parents. I always tell them I am okay but the truth is I am not and I need them. They gave me favor but I declined coz I am ashamed.🥺

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2 months ago

Talent na ata ng Pilipino yan ano, basta kakayanin naman lahat ee.

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2 months ago

Magaling talaga ako magtago ng feelings pero dito, hindi. Para kasing ako pa masama haha, nakakasama ng loob haha joke

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2 months ago

Wag mo kasing pansinin, ini stress mo lang self mo ee

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2 months ago

Ok na ate, at least nasabi ko gusto kong sabihin. Mas maiistress ako non ehhe

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2 months ago

Relate ako. Sometimes, it's best to just pretend you're fine when you're not. But other times, I'm straightforward and just say what's on my mind. But whatever you're feeling right now, know that you're not alone.

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2 months ago

Kaya nga ee, it's for the best. Saka if kaya naman mag isa, di na nees ng kadamay. Peri pwd naman Siyang Kausapin.

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2 months ago

Silent battles rawr. Para sa akin, mas mainam ng iresolve magisa hehe kesa maka burdened pa sa iba! Hehe strong tayo e! Smile lang :)

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2 months ago

Yayy to that Meyzeeee, I'm strong din kaya keri na. Nakaya ko nga walang best friend ee. Ahaha.

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2 months ago

I'm not good at pretending as they see my feelings on my eyes. Sanay din Naman ako iexpress Yung nararamdaman ko as long na Hindi Naman makakaapekto sa iba. Mas mahirap Kasi kapag kikimkimin , mas okay Kung may Isa Lang kaibigan o kahit Kay Lord nalang pala na mapagsasabihan mo ng lahat lahat.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Yun lang, nailalabas ko yong sakin tru crying. Basta naiiyak ko ayan ojay na ako. Oag minsan hirap akong umiyak, nagbabasa ako ng stories na malungkot, or ung reply ng crush ko sakin, babasahin ko paulit ulit hanggang sa mapaiyak na ako. Ahahaha

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2 months ago

I'm a great pretender too.. I can pretend to be your friend, but once you stab my back, I can kill you secretly.. Haha.. Brutal..

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2 months ago

I can consider myself too as a great pretender. I can laugh with you like nothing is bothering me but at the end of the day I'm gonna cry my heart out, ALONE in the dark. But there is one person that I'm so transparent with and I'm thankful to him for staying by my side and being the light in my dark world.

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1 month ago

for me it's ok to pretend as long as it for your own good.. d naman kailangan malaman ng tao ang lahat ng nangyayari sayo eh...

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2 months ago

Cheer up po ate! 😊

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2 months ago

What is going on here😐..

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2 months ago

Don't give up God is Good all the time po just keep praying always 🙏 We need to be strong and I know You can ..just follow your dreams ...more articles to you & Godbless 😇

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2 months ago

Yes Imma great pretender Whoooo - whooo! - Freddie Mercury

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2 months ago

Fake it, till you make it. Stay strong ate Ruffa! 💗 And yes, we only have ourselves that we can depend on. Truly no man is an island, but sometimes we need time to be alone. It is okay to pretend if that is what we feel on doing so and if that makes everything fine. Okay lang din umiyak. Iyak konti, tas patuloy ulit. You are brave ateeeee! And make sure to always pray. 💗💗

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2 months ago

Keep your heads up! Tapos ngiti lang Ruffa! Understand the circumstance, cry, feel bad, ilugmok ang sarili but you have to have the end part "Oh okay na all, move on na!" Then find your happiness. And be happy.

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2 months ago

Yayy madam, I'm trying saka easy lang naman tu. Salamat madam 💙💙💙💥

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2 months ago

Yes Ate Nasanay din akong sarilihin lahat since wala akong kakampi nung mga panahon na wala si Mama sa tabi ko. Laki ako sa bahay ng mga Grandparents ko alam nyo na yan lagi kong nakwekwento hihi. Kaya nasanay na ako mag pretend at kahit para sakin hindi okay, or di nila naririnig side ko, sige lang ako ng sige. Pero ang hirap pala talaga mag pretend. Lahat naman tayo nakakaranas ng ganyan eh akala lang nila strong tayo pero hindi eh. Maiiyak nalang tayo gabi gabi. Mababaliw nalang tayo kakaisip. Hays pero that's life ate Ropa! Still fighteu ☺️💚 kakayanin to. Nakaya nga natin ng ilang taon eh, Kakayanin parin hanggang sa pagtanda! 🤩 Nu kaba, andyan parin si Lord wag mong iisipin na walang nakikinig kasi andyan lang siya handang makinig hanggang mailabas mo lahat.

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2 months ago

sanayna sanay rin ako magpretend kaso minsan sarap manamapal kapag pinipilit mo nanga ipakitang okay kamay umeepal pa

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2 months ago

Ayt nga pala, nay kapareho ka mandin ng name, kakilala mo? I mean official LikeUs meron sya tas yong name nya between them napansin ko lang tehhehh.

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2 months ago

Oo te, kaibigan ko tas kalaro ko online. Nakita nya kasi myday ko noon tas nabangit sko sakaniya, ewan dyan bano yan nagulat ako ginaya name ko

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2 months ago

Bwahahahaha kala ko nga Juwa mo wahahahah

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2 months ago

Ay ako nagpapaturo nga jowa ko dito pero tamad daw sya magsulat 🙄

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2 months ago

Hahahaha, aigooi bawal kamo ang tamad. Pilitin mo para pareho kayo g masaya 🎂

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2 months ago

same as you I'm a totally great pretender especially to my friends. Ako yung tipo ng tao na hindi mahilig mag share ng problems baka kasi ijudge pa ako kaya wag nalang.

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2 months ago

Kaya nga, pero ako wala kasi talagang mapag sabihan 🤧

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2 months ago

Nandito naman ako sis😊 I'm a good listener 😍 di kita ijujudge pramis.

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2 months ago

As mush as pretending we are not weak is okay, we should also have at least someone to confide in, because if we just continue to hold it within, it may explode someday when we can't bottle it up anymore. Needless to say, these people who are good at pretending are really strong.

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2 months ago

That's true naman, pero dun sa wala talagang mapag sabihan ee di solve nalang mag isa. Pag kaya, pero pag hindi na ilabas lahat sa pag iyak, magaling ako sa pagpapaiyak ng sarili ee 🤧

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2 months ago

Or. ipagpray mo nalang po. Di naman need na sa tao tayo magconfide. Ako personally, diary, or praying ko nilalabas mga burdens at sama ng loob ko. :)

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2 months ago

Pretending to be okay in front of the others is just a piece of cake but inside our room we can feel how weak we are yet we still choose to fight for ourselves kasi wala namang mangyayari kung magmumokmok tayo ne sis. hehe

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2 months ago

I am quite a transparent one in terms of my emotion. If i am not feeling well, my face shows it all, if I am mad at someone, that person will surely know it.

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2 months ago

Pero need din talaga siguro natin ng mapagsasabihan ng problema, para maiwasan nadin siguro na lumala pa ito.

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2 months ago

Oo naman, lalo na ung mejo mahihina ang loob. Nay ganyan kasi diba, sa sobrang laki ng problema ang bilis nila mag give up.

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2 months ago

Totoo, pray lang din. Saka sana dapat may mapagsharan din ng problema eh

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2 months ago

Strong naman ako, di na need wahaha. Pero sa iba need talaga yan ee

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2 months ago

Sabagay nga

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2 months ago