Self Leadership.

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2 years ago

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There is something we call self-leadership and that's when you take responsibility for your actions and try to lead yourself by learning from others and situations around you. It's okay to have people lead and direct you but there is little that can be forced upon you if you won't take the steps to walk by yourself.

A lot of people won't take responsibility for their actions nor will they understand that the outcome of everything that happens in their lives depends on them; the action or the inactions - depending on the course of action. Self-leadership is the ability to lead yourself towards your set goals. Motivation from the outside would be useless if you lacked the will from the inside. A lot of people focus on the outside while giving little regard for who they are on the inside. I've built myself to the point that what anyone thinks of me doesn't matter as long as I know it's not a flaw. If it's a flaw I need to address, why not but if it's based on what anyone thinks, I am not moved because I am responsible for what I said and not how you interpret it.

To fully develop ourselves we need to understand our purpose in this world. I've said it before and I would say it again that most of the problems we have in this world are a result of most of our parents who allowed us to grow into a system where they want us to fit in rather than stand out. For some of us, it's already late to go back and make certain changes so we have to make the most of what we have. It's a terrible culture to ask children what they want to become in life because I would rather have them being asked, "What problem do you want to solve in the world?".

This brings a lot into perspective because it shifts their thoughts from fitting in into standing out. They focus on which problem and they are tailored in that line. Someone once said that if you are seeing a problem that no one else is seeing, that means you are the one to bring about the solution to that problem, either directly or indirectly. A lot of people don't understand the purpose they are to serve in the world because all their lives they have been restricted to thinking they are slotted into the system and this has killed a lot of creative minds.

We can't go back to make a brand new start but we can continue from where we are to make a happy ending. I am jeered towards giving hope to those who still have the chance because I was denied the chance to follow what I wanted. I don't want others to fall into the same bracket so I am committed to giving basic education to everyone but each person would determine what they want to do with their lives afterwards and then be equipped into doing that.

Discovering your purpose in life is a process and it's a journey of discovery as well. You won't have everything figured out all of a sudden. You won't have all the things you wanted at a go but you have to take note of the clues as you go through life. Most of us don't understand that our purpose in life is to fix the things we have been denied. Most people would rather take up the pity approach so the whole world can take notice of them and show them pity but nothing concrete ever grows on such a ground because no one would ever take you seriously or help you enough to stand on your own and even if they tried to, your brain would always assume the pity approach and you would become comfortable as you will allow that opportunity to pass by.

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Our purpose is in the things we have been denied. This is why I respect parents who didn't have the opportunity for education and yet they stake their lives on the line to make their children have the best of it. Your purpose is tied to your experience in life...what you have gone through, seek to it that some people with similar experience won't need to go through that again.

As you are seeking a purpose for your life and taking note of the clues, learn to understand yourself. Understand your temperament and be true to yourself. You need to honestly analyze yourself and know what works for you so you can know what to avoid and the things to do away with. As you strive for self-leadership, never forget about self-awareness.

Self-awareness brings about self-regulation where you understand yourself and then discipline yourself on certain things. Even the mighty can crumble without self-control or discipline. You need to know when to engage and when to withdraw. You need to know the difference between giving up and letting go, persistence and when to give up as well. Self-regulation means you can control your desires and emotions so they won't get the better of you. When a defining moment comes, you had better define that moment or else the moment would define you. A self-regulated life is pruned and being pruned adds more colour to your life.

No one can motivate you as you would motivate yourself. We need to drive ourselves and then have a purpose to live for. What are you doing? What do you want to do? What steps are you taking towards the things you want to do or currently doing? There is no need to compare yourself with others because your race is different from mine. You can copy the things I am doing but you won't have the staying power to continue for long because it was never your dream in the first place. Learn to find your niche and build on it.

When others find their niche they give up easily. The moment they hit a snag they think it's not for them. There is no smooth path and you have to learn how to weather the storm. This is why understanding who you are is important and knowing what purpose you are made for as it gives you the staying power to continue because you won't need any external motivation but the one from inside.

Mistakes are bound to happen and you have to learn from them. A bus stop is not an end stop just like a speed bump is not to stop you permanently but temporarily. We need to keep moving forward and stop living in the past. It's okay to take time to recharge and refire when we feel overwhelmed and tired but it doesn't mean we have to let that dream die but rather for us to re-evaluate the things we have done right and done wrong and then make informed decisions going forward. Take a break if you have to. Rest when you are tired but don't quit.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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2 years ago

Comments

Self awareness and self regulation are two thing at the front of my life these days.

It has been 5 days since I stopped smoking completely.

It has been almost a month since my blood work came back that my A1c (blood sugar) is down to prediabetic levels.

My cholesterol is also down.

The only thing up is my outlook. Eating healthy and having the self regulation to stop the nasty habit are paying off well.

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2 years ago

Maaaaamaaaaaa! I am happy to read from you and also to read this amazing testimony as well. It's absolutely beautiful. Yes, self regulation helps as it restrains us from habits that threatens our health. I wish you more strength, mama.

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2 years ago

Still not smoking. Also not eating too much. Going to break out my Nike running shoes and start running as soon as my mama goat has dried up. She's already bred, again. So milking is coming to an end. I can run instead!

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2 years ago

Yaaaaaay. I heard taking a lot of fruits helps too as it keeps you busy without having to take anything else.

More milk... 🥰🥰🥰. I can't wait to see your views again when the jogging starts. You are blessed with nature and I enjoyed the views you shared with us the last time you took a walk...

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2 years ago

You'll need to enjoy them while you can because we are moving halfway across the country to New York. To a city in Upstate New York. Rochester. I will still have views, and there's plenty of nature around, but the views will be different.

Yes I eat lots of fruit. and drink lots of water.

Also:

ONE WEEK NO SMOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2 years ago

That's a major move, mama. I wish you the best mama...that's amazing and I love being close to nature too. Good one...

Fruits and water it is. One week would soon turn to one month... I am super excited about this.

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2 years ago

I've spent the last few days reading and not working because I've been so cranky. Still not smoking, though.

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2 years ago

The moving can be tiring, so I understand the crankiness, mama. Sorry. I am sending a lot of hugs your way...

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2 years ago

The cranky I think it's from nicotine withdrawal. We've started packing, but not yet moving.

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2 years ago

I wish I can help you pack and do some heavy lifting. Well done, mama. I hope you are also trying to rest more?

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2 years ago

I suppose I'll rest when I'm dead. I do try to take time off of earning earning earning to enjoy doing nothing or just being in the kitchen or taking walks (I'm calling them runs because I'm wearing my running shoes and am confident they will become runs before too long).

You'll have to come visit in New York!

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2 years ago

Hahaha I totally understand. I can't wait to visit either. Warm hugs loading.

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2 years ago

Thanks Papa.

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2 years ago

😂😂🤣😂

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2 years ago

Turnabout is fair play!

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2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣😂 you got me, mama.

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2 years ago

I always had doubts about myself back then, but I am just thankful that I've grown more as a person. And that I've learned on improving myself thru all of the experiences, including the bad ones.

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2 years ago

As we grow, we discover more about ourselves.

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2 years ago

Yes, the journey to life never ends. We learn things every day and gets to know ourselves even better

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2 years ago

Absolutely, my friend.

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2 years ago

The inability of an adult to take proper decisions is reflective of their lackadaisical attitude towards taking responsibilities when the need arises.

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2 years ago

That's mouthful but absolutely spot on 🤣😂

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2 years ago

No one else can motivate you towards your goals the way you would motivate and push yourself, that effort is the one that has the greater impact. You are right instead of saying what do I want to be or what job or career do I want to pursue, the mindset of what problem do I want to solve gives you a broader perspective but a direct one as well pointing you towards what you feel led to do, your purpose. Just like you said we may not figure it out perfectly at first but that's where self discovery and understanding and since the act of discovering and understanding ourselves is a process as well which goes on as we grow and mature then the process of finding purpose may turn out to be a process as well. We all just strive to finally find that purpose of living because it gives deeper meaning to everything, leading, motivating and encouraging yourself towards that is the important key, asking for divine help and direction from God is important as well because we aren't privy to all the knowledge that we need.

$ 0.06
2 years ago

This is beautiful.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, that really means a lot

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2 years ago

😊😊🤗

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2 years ago

[deleted]

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2 years ago

Hi James sorry but I can't remember if I've met you or if we know each other from somewhere

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2 years ago

[deleted]

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2 years ago

Oooh I remember, thanks again for that it was really helpful.

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2 years ago

You're welcome

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2 years ago

Self-leadership goes a long way, taking full responsibility for our lives and aiming to be the best version of ourselves. But they are some who are meant to be a leader while some are meant to be followers no matter how they try to live their life they still need to serve and learn from their others before having full control over their life.

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2 years ago

I agree...even being a follower, we can lead while still following.

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2 years ago

Badly needed this right now, we need to keep moving forward despite of struggles that hinder us yet we still need to go on because nothing is impossible if you want it work for it.

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2 years ago

Exactly, my friend.

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2 years ago

Self development is the best you can ever give yourself before you can now start building your leadership skills. It's all into each other tho

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2 years ago

It's indeed vital.

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2 years ago

We couldn't be where we are without leadership. The diference is that some are natural born leaders while others need guidance

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2 years ago

I totally agree with you. Some have that inherent traits and some need that help to fully develop.

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2 years ago

Much motivational words ola! One must learnt from his mistake and wrong decisions. If couldn't do what he wants he remains trying instead of giving up

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2 years ago

Learning from mistakes shows we are taking charge of our lives. Absolutely.

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2 years ago

Thank you for reminding me to continue, co'z I really need it now

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2 years ago

I'm glad. Thank you.

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2 years ago

Logically, personal life is a form or method that has been previously conceptualized that comes from the mindset and encouragement of other people or parents, but sometimes a person's life is affected by people's attitudes and mindsets so that their true identity is not found. just do what is your own way and you don't have to force or follow other people's ways because the real ability of the people you see is not in you because everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

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2 years ago

Just do things your way and find your strength... I love that.

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2 years ago

When someone finds out the proper reason of his/her existence in this world, he/she becomes the most powerful person. Because they are overwhelmed about their abilities. Success come towards them.

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2 years ago

Self discovery is the step to attaining and understanding purpose.

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2 years ago

I really love reading your articles. I always checked it on my notifications. I love how you encourage us despite of everything and I thank you for that.

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2 years ago

I am encouraged and thanks a lot for this.

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2 years ago

I read the book "The Purpose Driven Life". But to be honest, I still don't know my purpose in life, dear. I live life with a smile and a grateful heart. Sure it's tiring and I know when to rest (not all the time). And I know my priorities. I can't still master balancing my time. I don't know what my dreams are. Maybe I do but maybe when you are happy and contented on your present life and don't dwell on the future then you just live the now. Because when I start thinking about the future I feared and stressed myself out. I live the now. Self-leadership I can do that. I'm a Mom lol:)

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2 years ago

I totally understand you, momma. I like that book too. Purpose is when we live for others other than ourselves and trust me, sometimes it takes longer for us to understand it. Trust me, you are doing great with all you've been doing and sooner, you will seen an opportunity for you to do more than you are doing. I love the fact that you are not forcing it.

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2 years ago

Motivation from the outside would be useless if you lacked the will from the inside. This is so true! To be motivated, we must be willing to do it because we crave to do it and not because we are told to do so.

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2 years ago

Exactly, my friend. Spot on.

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2 years ago

"Rest when you get tired but don't quit" exactly true sir ,a very great reminder to those who feels unmotivated and thinking to stop their lives ,we need to rest if we get tired but we don't need to quit ,we had many goals that we wanted to achieve ,believe yourself that you can do it.

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2 years ago

Self belief, that's right. Resting makes us restrategize.

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2 years ago

I really liked this part:

Your purpose is tied to your experience in life...what you have gone through, seek to it that some people with similar experience won't need to go through that again.

Our experiences should not define us but should shape us to be better and to help others be better as well.

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2 years ago

Absolutely true, my brother.

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2 years ago

You are always encouraging me to do better all time . We need to move on and stop living in the past 👍🏻

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2 years ago

I'm glad. Thank you.

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2 years ago

. we need to discover the purpose while we are created so as we should accomplished our goals on earth ☝️

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2 years ago

Very well, brother.

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2 years ago

Mistakes are bound to happen but you must learn from them . Awesome that Indeed stated in the law of karma we need to discover the purpose while we are created so as we should accomplished our goals on earth ☝️

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2 years ago

Thank you for this, brother. We need to discover our purpose so we can accomplish those goals.

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2 years ago

There's this quote I heard : " you can't lead a people successfully if you think you look silly on a horse". One had to be courageous and take the bold step that would give room for his rapid development which would qualify him to lead a people

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2 years ago

Hahahaha I absolutely love that quote. Says a lot.

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2 years ago

We need to learn from our mistakes and not to get down with them. This is the only way we can move forward.

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2 years ago

The only way to move forward...that's right.

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2 years ago

To progress in life one must develop himself by fixing every flaw that exists and always try to learn more.

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2 years ago

Yes, we should seek to always be better.

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2 years ago

I have never been to the state but comparing their educational system to that of us in Nigeria here, I can rightly say that their systems actually asks children the problem they think they can solve in the community and you see kids making their own choices, from that age they are being thought self leader, but here in my country is actually the opposite as you said every parents wants their children to fit in rather stand,the want them to be lawyers, doctors, engineers and all not actually allowing those kids to make their own choices

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2 years ago

Sadly, that's true and the sad reality we are faced with.

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2 years ago