It's Hard, Sometimes.

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2 years ago

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It's hard to understand humans most of the time. Of course, I am human but we all have to admit that we are complex beings and things are always complicated with us because our hearts are unknown. Humans would say a thing but in their hearts, they meant another thing. This is why most people would rather choose to remain single than to risk their hearts for someone they are not even sure if his or her feelings would change the next minute.

Most people flip their emotions like a switch and they love you on their terms; when they want to and how they want to without understanding the emotions you have committed into that relationship. It's true what someone said that the more we move closer to understanding humans, the more we would admire the dogs. Dogs are loyal and most humans are not.

I shared some days back when I advised people to stop deceiving others into marriage with their words when the reality is, they want something else. You can read about it here: Guys, Learn Patience. We have a lot of people who are so dead to their emotions and would do just about anything to hurt others. Don't become those who hurt you isn't just a phrase but something we are supposed to live by. We can't go around hurting others because we had terrible relationship experiences.

I was chatting with my friend two days ago and also last night and we were going over her relationship with her ex. I knew something was fishy regarding how the relationship ended and the strategy the guy employed but I couldn't place my hand on it. I was trying to give excuses for him hoping I would be able to see another angle to it but sadly, I couldn't. It wasn't until later yesterday night that she had a chat with a mutual friend that she got to know that her ex is now married and his wife just gave birth this month. To shock you all the more, they ended their relationship last year November and this is January.

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The guy had a younger brother who committed suicide 2 months before they broke up and it hit him hard, no doubt because he was close to his brother and he blamed himself for not being there for his brother to detect something was wrong. This was the excuse he gave my friend for breaking up with her. He said he can't commit to anything right now because of the grief he is going through. He even assured her that if she hasn't moved on in not so distant future that maybe they can still have a future together because he needed to sort himself out first.

To make it worse, he even told her that he would have to block her on social media so he would be able to heal well not knowing he was only trying to tie up loose ends. He was trying to control what she would see and that was why he stopped talking to most of their mutual friends. I am happy in a way for my friend that things didn't work out for them because who uses his dead brother as an excuse in breaking another person's heart? He has no regard even for the memory of his younger brother to have used him in such a way. It's cold...ice cold and pure wickedness with a total disregard for consequences.

It was obvious that he was dating these two ladies at the same time and one got pregnant and there was nothing he could have done about it which left him with the option of breaking up with my friend and he had to look for ways to do that. His brother's death must have come at the right time to him, I guess, to have used him as a perfect opportunity to break up with her. I guess when he noticed the delivery was close that was why he quickly got married to the lady and now he is married with a child to show for it too.

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He practically begged this lady to date him for 3 months before she actually caved. Who goes through such a length just to heap misery on another human? If you can't help people, why not let them be and not add to whatever they are going through? It would have been nice if he offered a hand of friendship instead rather than deceive her with love as she felt robbed and deceived on every ground possible.

Humans are tricky and sometimes wicked. No one can fully know the true intentions behind every act. It's sad but that is just how humans are. It's quite annoying and frustrating even but we just have to understand that not everyone has our best interest at heart, so when you find that one person who genuinely cares for you, don't go about picking stones when you are ditching your gold. Now, she is left picking up the pieces and she is even more broken than before when she didn't even know the truth of the whole matter. She felt used and that's not a good thing because it questions your choices and shatters your sense of worth.

A relationship can be hard sometimes, cruel even, depending on the human you are dealing with. Despite knowing the things you have known, you will still find out that you don't know some humans at all when you start seeing the truth about them. I can only wish my friend strength because this is not a good position to be in and maybe God helped her to dodge this bullet but it doesn't mean it won't hurt but I know she will be fine eventually. Others have lost interest in relationships for far less and, sadly, most of the issues many have in relationships can be traced to the actions of others who were insensitive to their emotions and deliberately hurt them. As I said, she would be fine. I would make sure of it.

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

Comments

It sounds like your friend had a very lucky escape with that guy! A great read and I didn't know that you could put read links in dreemport, now I do as this one popped up!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I told her that she dodged a bullet with that guy because it was indeed a lucky escape. Thank you so much for this and I will definitely show her this.

Yes, you can insert Read Cash links.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Gez! why some people are like that? Can they be contented for once?

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Never...they can't be. They are selfish.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I really felt for this lady. Sometimes humans can be so unbelievable. How can one use the dead "belove" as an excuse to break-up and hurt someone who was loyal to him. This is how some people use their own mouth to swear for themselves.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I agree with you. He is callous and that's why he could do something as wicked as that.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I hope your friend does heal and recover from this, its crazy what people do to those they claim to be in a relationship with and just like you said why bother to cause someone to commit to you when you have your eye on somebody else. These are some of the things you hear that make you hesitant towards commuting to anybody especially when you're sure you have strong feelings for this person, you have to be sure your feelings are reciprocated on the same level or even more. We can often be complicated as humans, our individual experiences and reactions to them, our mindsets and values often make us look that way but just like you said when you find someone who truly loves you with all you complications, moods and everything else and they show and prove it to you over and over again, you shouldn't take them for granted.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much. I really hope she heals from this and quickly too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Your friend ex is an a*hole! Though I could say he is just one of those. Nowadays it's really hard to find a guy who had a pure intentions to their woman . Most of them just want sx and after that , maybe when they felt satisfied they gonna leave and find whatever excuses. They are so annoying!

Hope your friend's heart will be healed soon and may he find the a better man . Is that her you posted in noise cash? She was beautiful by the way! Just tell her go on with her life and show to that guy it was not her lost. It's him.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much, my friend. It was really painful she had to go through that. That guy is heartless.

No, she wasn't the one. That was another person there.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Aw, I thought its her. There are so many heartless guy actually. That is why ladies should be careful in choosing a guy to be in relationship.. I know the feeling šŸ™ There are still good men, she just need to find them.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly what I told her. She said she doesn't even want to try again but I know it's the pain talking. I hope she is careful next time.

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2 years ago

Wow. That guy is a complete _____. I don't even know what to call him. He seems like he is very good at arranging things huh. Shame on him.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

A big shame on him. He broke another human with deceit.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about this my friend. I hope your friend is okay now. It's really painful. Her ex is totally bad. He cheated on her then he break up with her because his other woman got pregnant and he use his brother death as a reason. He's totally a cheater.

God has a purpose why it happens. I'm glad that they break up because her ex is not deserve to her. I know someday she can meet a man that love her a lot. The man who will treasure her everyday.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much, my friend. He is really a terrible person.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sad but this is true, it kinda happened to my friend minus the suicide part. Her BF claims to be not happy in their relationship but when her Ex came to Their hometown, he was all lovey-dovey with another girl haha

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's human for you. It's sad.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's humans for you.. Naturally full of wickedness and they always end up hurting others.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It's really painful, I must say.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This story you shared here is really touching . I prayed God intervene in this matter . In relationship the thing that matters most is love and the thing that also matter is to avoid cheating on each other just like the story you narrated

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I really hope she heals and learn to trust again. It's tough to take.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

No one knows what is in the mind of anyone and some will end up heartbroken when their dating partner isn't what she thought he is.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's the painful part...we can't know what's in people's hearts.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

There's nobody who can discern what's really in our hearts,sometimes.it can be full of lies and deceit.Thats why any relationships God is the best mediator.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I totally agree with you.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sometimes i will always advice myself not to put all my energy in relationships that may never seem to work no matter what. I know what i felt in the last relationship i just walked out of. It was a toxic one. I am healing though.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

So sorry about that. Healing process is different for everyone and I hope you heal fully to be able to trust the right person.

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2 years ago

Sad but this so true. Now, I am really having problem trusting people in all honesty but I know there are still good ones but few only.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

They are very few and that's right. It's hard to trust fully after such an encounter.

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2 years ago

Really it is hard to judge the real face of people because duality is fashion in society now a days. So we must care such people around who cares us by heart and soul. Knowing the truth or reality is more important then any decision because we can regret later on it .

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2 years ago

Indeed. Face value is not truly the real value.

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2 years ago

Sometimes domestic animals are more trustworthy than some people. People are so unreliable.

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2 years ago

Absolutely... I couldn't agree less. Spot on.

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2 years ago

What we pass through individually as human may make us fluctuate at times. Everybody has a trial time that need to be managed wisely

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I guess this is her trial time and I hope she succeeds.

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2 years ago

I totally agree with that cause sometimes people made their feelings fluctuates like they can even ruthless sometimes to others. People are wise unlike dogs remains loyal even tough times strikes. Thanks for sharing this stuff Olasquare hoping for another one šŸ˜Š

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Good to always have you here. Thanks.

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2 years ago

Relationships have always been known to hurt, reasons I've always stayed away since I gained consciousness of the reality.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Indeed and our actions make it terrible. It's sad.

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2 years ago

Humans are tricky and most times they don't care about the feeling of others if the action they took would hurt the next person or not,how on earth could the guy date two girls,so he is trying to play one and marry the one that is pregnant,humans are wicked...he should have just asked your friend to be his friend rather than going into a relationship and later break up her heart,it would be more painful when she hears the truth....I hope she would be fine.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

It was really painful for her upon hearing the truth. She felt used and stupid.

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2 years ago

I know you would be there for her not to be heartbroken the more especially not trying to do anything bad to herself. ItĀ“s just sad with the way some guys frame up lies in a relationship and it hurt another fellow. Most times, hearing about things like this makes me sad and afraid of relationship. ItĀ“s truly hard to experience this when you think the relationship is heading somewhere but all of a sudden, the wheel is removed without your notice. Why canĀ“t people reason how it would be before breaking another personĀ“s heart, itĀ“s not easy.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Well said, KP. It's really saddening. She is doubting herself now and blaming herself for being gullible and used. It's a feeling that doesn't go away easily.

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2 years ago