Guys, Learn Patience.

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I seriously don't understand what's with some guys and lack of patience. I sincerely wish to give some of them a "High Five" on the face for being such a disgrace to the XY Chromosomes. Can't we just learn to do things right? Oh well, maybe we can't learn to simply because the intentions are wrong, to begin with.

Intentions behind every action are everything and the moment those intentions are flawed, everything about you come out into the open and people see you for who you are. I have this burning anger in me for guys that just won't let things evolve naturally and this is why women see most guys as a cash point because that's what most guys have shown they are.

Just as most guys complain that women see them as cash points, we also have women who complain that most guys think with their "third leg" and I am afraid I have to agree with them. I have always mentioned that we need to communicate what we want from people and not mislead them under false pretences. A lot of guys missed out on the good ladies in front of them because they have wrong intentions. There should come a time where we have to re-evaluate our ways and when you find yourself a serious minded lady, time to get serious too.

A lot of guys would come to women under the pretext of marriage but what they truly want is just to engage in friends with benefits. You have raised her expectations so high and you expect her to smile at you when you are not moving in the direction of what you initially promised? What happened with communicating what you wanted? If she wants it too she would agree and if she doesn't want it, move on. That's how life is and what a relationship should be about. Not everyone would love you or want what you want, so why bother to deceive them for your temporary comfort?

It annoys me when people won't speak their mind regarding what they want and that's the essence of a relationship. I got angry a little earlier today when a friend of mine reached out to me to explain how her date went. The guy just got back into the country and was trying to impress her and all. He said a lot of things about coming into Nigeria to see her (which I know is a lie anyway) and he said he wanted to date her for real.

I told her to go on a date with him since the guy suggested it and pushed it so she can get to know him and they can talk at length. Your first date and second time of seeing her in the flesh you were already proposing to her to come to the hotel with you? She hasn't even given you an answer regarding the boyfriend and girlfriend status and he was already forcing her and guilt-tripping her into submission.

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If his intentions were true and that's what I also told her, then he won't be desperate to force answers out of her since he said he is going back in 2 weeks. There are so many things that can be seen with the intentions of this person. I am not against him if what he wanted was sex but that has to be communicated to the lady so she can either accept or reject but you don't go about deceiving women that you want to marry them whereas you just want to use her for your 2 weeks stay in Nigeria.

This is why communication is better because he would have also saved himself the stress and also saved my friend the stress of dressing up, looking good and all for the date if he had said what he truly wanted right from the start. She would have known whether to prepare her mind for that or just simply decline and everyone moves on rather than the deception he came out with.

If you are not sure and you want to see how things are, learn to express it to the person. Sometimes we feel we are ready for a relationship and we are not. I've had wonderful friends of mine tell me that they are not ready for a relationship and I respect their decisions because you can lie to everyone but never lie to yourself. This is why I said that we know what we want, we know our intentions, it makes us look bad when we try to sell the wrong one to another hoping they catch the bait. It's wickedness with total disregard for consequences. No one should have to do that to another human.

Learn to communicate what you want and there is no need to mask it because in the long run you would still be found out. A lot of women have lost interest in men as a result of those who say something but their actions say differently. Like I said earlier, if the intentions of the guy I mentioned above were real and true, why the pressure to have her quickly before you go back? What does it matter if she gives you the answer after you've gone back? He only need this lady for the 2 weeks window that he would be around.

Patience is a virtue and if she has jumped into things quickly she might never have found out the true intentions of this guy. Guys, we need to learn patience. You can't pressure a lady into giving you an answer when she isn't convinced about your intentions. A lot of people abuse ladies that turn down guys openly for being cold-hearted but if you are not reading the same book, how can you be on the same page? How can a guy go and show a public show of affection to a lady (propose) without first checking where her head is at? Most people just want to do what others do without understanding the kind of relationship they are in and it's sad.

Thank you for your time.

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