It's Hard, Sometimes.
It's hard to understand humans most of the time. Of course, I am human but we all have to admit that we are complex beings and things are always complicated with us because our hearts are unknown. Humans would say a thing but in their hearts, they meant another thing. This is why most people would rather choose to remain single than to risk their hearts for someone they are not even sure if his or her feelings would change the next minute.
Most people flip their emotions like a switch and they love you on their terms; when they want to and how they want to without understanding the emotions you have committed into that relationship. It's true what someone said that the more we move closer to understanding humans, the more we would admire the dogs. Dogs are loyal and most humans are not.
I shared some days back when I advised people to stop deceiving others into marriage with their words when the reality is, they want something else. You can read about it here: Guys, Learn Patience. We have a lot of people who are so dead to their emotions and would do just about anything to hurt others. Don't become those who hurt you isn't just a phrase but something we are supposed to live by. We can't go around hurting others because we had terrible relationship experiences.
I was chatting with my friend two days ago and also last night and we were going over her relationship with her ex. I knew something was fishy regarding how the relationship ended and the strategy the guy employed but I couldn't place my hand on it. I was trying to give excuses for him hoping I would be able to see another angle to it but sadly, I couldn't. It wasn't until later yesterday night that she had a chat with a mutual friend that she got to know that her ex is now married and his wife just gave birth this month. To shock you all the more, they ended their relationship last year November and this is January.
The guy had a younger brother who committed suicide 2 months before they broke up and it hit him hard, no doubt because he was close to his brother and he blamed himself for not being there for his brother to detect something was wrong. This was the excuse he gave my friend for breaking up with her. He said he can't commit to anything right now because of the grief he is going through. He even assured her that if she hasn't moved on in not so distant future that maybe they can still have a future together because he needed to sort himself out first.
To make it worse, he even told her that he would have to block her on social media so he would be able to heal well not knowing he was only trying to tie up loose ends. He was trying to control what she would see and that was why he stopped talking to most of their mutual friends. I am happy in a way for my friend that things didn't work out for them because who uses his dead brother as an excuse in breaking another person's heart? He has no regard even for the memory of his younger brother to have used him in such a way. It's cold...ice cold and pure wickedness with a total disregard for consequences.
It was obvious that he was dating these two ladies at the same time and one got pregnant and there was nothing he could have done about it which left him with the option of breaking up with my friend and he had to look for ways to do that. His brother's death must have come at the right time to him, I guess, to have used him as a perfect opportunity to break up with her. I guess when he noticed the delivery was close that was why he quickly got married to the lady and now he is married with a child to show for it too.
He practically begged this lady to date him for 3 months before she actually caved. Who goes through such a length just to heap misery on another human? If you can't help people, why not let them be and not add to whatever they are going through? It would have been nice if he offered a hand of friendship instead rather than deceive her with love as she felt robbed and deceived on every ground possible.
Humans are tricky and sometimes wicked. No one can fully know the true intentions behind every act. It's sad but that is just how humans are. It's quite annoying and frustrating even but we just have to understand that not everyone has our best interest at heart, so when you find that one person who genuinely cares for you, don't go about picking stones when you are ditching your gold. Now, she is left picking up the pieces and she is even more broken than before when she didn't even know the truth of the whole matter. She felt used and that's not a good thing because it questions your choices and shatters your sense of worth.
A relationship can be hard sometimes, cruel even, depending on the human you are dealing with. Despite knowing the things you have known, you will still find out that you don't know some humans at all when you start seeing the truth about them. I can only wish my friend strength because this is not a good position to be in and maybe God helped her to dodge this bullet but it doesn't mean it won't hurt but I know she will be fine eventually. Others have lost interest in relationships for far less and, sadly, most of the issues many have in relationships can be traced to the actions of others who were insensitive to their emotions and deliberately hurt them. As I said, she would be fine. I would make sure of it.
Thank you for your time.
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It sounds like your friend had a very lucky escape with that guy! A great read and I didn't know that you could put read links in dreemport, now I do as this one popped up!