A Puzzle 🧩 That Can Never Be Complete

41 88
Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago

Image Source: Unsplash via Ryoji Iwata

A fatherless child is like a puzzle that can never be complete because of a missing piece- the father. A woman can move on and continue her life, mend her broken pieces after sometimes but a child who is fatherless can never be complete without knowing who their father was.

This is something other parents can never understand especially if they grow up with a complete family, they'll never know the feeling having a blank spaces in the child heart because they we're never in their shoes.

A fatherless child has to undergo a lot of difficulties in life such as bullying, insecurities, inferiority complex and traumatic experiences that is inevitable because they don't have a strong foundation of a family that will protect them- especially father figure.

It's never a secret in here that I am one of those fatherless child, that I grow up dealing a lot of shits in life just because I am fatherless, I was abandoned and was never recognize by my father.

Recent realization

Recently I've been in an emotional state, although I already accepted my fate that having father in this lifetime is something I can never have.. I still felt emotional whenever I saw other people having a loving father by their side.

Especially for a girl - it is said that girls first love is their father, but I don't have one.

This is a screenshot from Mischievous Kiss Japanese version of Playful kiss, the guy asked the girls father for a blessing to marry her daughter..and told the guy that her daughter doesn't know a lot in life but despite that he said “she's a lovely girl” so the guy must cherish her.

I was very emotional and I cried a bucket of tears in the middle of the night watching it, coz this is something I can never experience that a father will talk to my groom to be to take care of me.

This is a shot from Who Runs The World, the father of the lead female and is dying..but before he dies he met her daughter's soon to be husband and told him to never bully his daughter.

Again, I was emotional.. because before this year end, I'm gonna marry and I don't have the father to tell my soon to be husband to never bully me and to cherish me. I don't have the father who will walk with me in the isle and hand me to my future husband..

It's really painful, you know. Although I overcome all the struggles I had back then, but still I can't deny the fact that I am an incomplete puzzle, that I can never be complete.

I never understood when a friend told me before that I must reconcile with my father before I get married so I can be complete, until these days.. I just shrug off her idea and didn't sink in to my mind what she was trying to convey and indeed she was right, now I I felt why I need to reconcile with my father - but sadly they said my father died already.

I wrote this not for you to pity me, but to let other parents who can read this to please let your child met their father or mother, never deprived them to complete the puzzle they are trying to solve in life. It's not about you but about your child's growth and development.

Because you will never know their pain, you will never know how many questions running on their heads but they don't spit it out as they are also considering your part. You will never know, they cry silently without you knowing or noticing because they don't like to burden you.

Because that's what I do, I never tell anyone I cry in the middle of the night not until today as I am writing this one.. that no matter what luxury life will offer me ahead, I will still have the blank space in my heart.. a space that will never be filled until I die.

To all men who are reading this, please try to be responsible with your actions if you can't marry the woman you impregnate with just at least try to be a father. Because of an irresponsible man like you will bring a lot of broken souls in the society, and not all fatherless children are strong enough to fight their battles alone - like me. Some wasted their life and some ended it.

For single mothers, no matter how much you fill the needs of your child it will never be enough.. let them see their father, let them complete themselves and never deprived them for your selfish reasons.

You will never know the pain of a fatherless child, unless you become one.

You can laugh all you want to a fatherless child, bully them or whatever but be prepared to get doomed in the later because a child maybe fatherless in this world..yet ...it is biblical that,

Psalm 68:5 tells us, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” His aim is to show orphans mercy, care, and protection, and because these waiting children are essential to him.

God, will avenge those fatherless being bullied.. and so far, I do believe in it.. all those who bullied me back then didn't have a better life at all.

P.S I've finished this write up since last week, but it took me a lot of thinking if I should publish or not because I don't want people know that I have this weakness. I am always considering not to show weakness just so other people will not use it against me, then I realized.. this was never a secret because I've written it already in here a lot haha!

I also remember, I am the kind of person once I overcome something and let other people knows what I've been, it cannot affect me much anymore. I have this character who is a bulletproof, although sometimes it fails but most of the time its not!

Thank you for reading!

Recent personal blogs:

The Random It Gets, The More It Is Rewarded (Sometimes Not)

Becoming A Mom (Happy Mother's Day!)

May Target & To-Do List

Demure or Wild? Wild For Fun

Some Memories In Highschool

When You Chose A Woman

Never Let It Hold You

50, 000 Views Milestones

Find me at:

readcash •noisecash •Publish0x •Hive •Twitter •Telegram •Discord •email

Date Published: May 25,2022

29
$ 15.65
$ 14.85 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.10 from @PVMihalache
$ 0.10 from @Peter-Molnar
+ 17
Sponsors of Eybyoung
empty
empty
Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago

Comments

Ur article really made me emotional because am one of those child who grew up without a father and I will not let that happen to my children

$ 0.00
2 years ago

lahi rajud ang feeling nga mag dako nga walay papa, dili sad malikayan nga mag selos sa ubang tao nga complete family. Though I grew up nga naa akoang papa pero nong time na nawala na si papa, na feel najud nako ang kung unsay feeling sa mga tao nga walay papa. "You will never know the pain of a fatherless child, unless you become one." Lahi rajud ang feeling ate noh.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

And now I'm crying a bucket of tears. I always told this to myself that I will not hinder my son in seeing his father for he has the right to do so and I am not closing doors between them and will never be in their way. I don't want my son to feel abandoned because it was solely because of me that he doesn't have a father beside him now. What fears me is the possibility that my son might want to go to his father than to stay with me.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

No, he will not go there madam. Ikaw man nagpadako niya.. sa imo na mubalik. Kung mangita lang jud sya sa iyang papa ipaadto lang gyud. Kay kami walay mga papa dili mi vocal pero dghan mig questions sa among pang huna huna.. so in case lang ug dako na sya ayaw gyud tawon sya hikawi sa iyang katungod. Looy tawon kaayo ang bata walay papa, di na magsaba pero deep inside ga long pd na sila makita or makauban ila papa.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

i will madam...unya nag ma ulitawo na...ayw lang sa karun kay di paman sad siya kasabot

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Aw oh madam uy di pa na makasabot madam hahaha pag teenager na ana madam dha naman na mag sugod ug pangutana.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

karun mangutana naman siya asa iyang papa pero taphaw lanf

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I heard so many stories about this, and one of them is from closest friend. She did not have the chance to meet her father, and she always tell us that sometimes her emotion is eating her. That it once affected her mental health. :(

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's true, no matter how we do our best to be mentally strong there are really times that our emotions will eat us and it can affect our mental health if we can control our emotions.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I am glad you decided to publish this article. Because somehow it can open minds to other who never knew how it feels to be in your shoe. It is really a hard time having an incomplete family. And the child will really suffer the feeling of being incomplete. Thanks for sharing.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thank you , it took me a lot of courage to share that sometimes I get so emotional whenever I remember I don't have a father.. but I just wanted to be an eye opener to everyone especially to the parents.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes. It really feels uncomfortable and emotional sharing like your story because I remember wayback in my College days when a friend opened up about having no father figure as she grew up. And it hurts me and made me speechless at times when she said, "Maayo pa mo naay Papa, ako wala ko kabalo unsay feeling nga naay Papa nga overprotective kaayo sa imoha."

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, dili jud lalim baya amo kahimtang pero laban lang gyapon sa life haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agreed to you sister, our society criticize and make bully of fatherless child. I can understand your pain please don't be sad and emotional. At the end, it was too much stressful when you want to reconcile your father already had died. Father is a shadow to a child for giving good advises when a girl/boy are married. We all read dot cash family are with you to pamper your pain.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thank you so much for your comfort, indeed a father is a shadow to a child but some who are unlucky like me cannot have it.. don't worry I am fine now haah

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Good be okay with yourself. Sadness and depression are not even good for our Normal cycle sister haha.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can understand how you feel right now but believe me, you will be fine. There's a reason for it.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'm fine already, there's just some time.. I can't help to be sad though I'm over it.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is a very good message to everyone, to men, women and each one of us. We may not the single mother, we may not be the men who impregnate someone but we may be the one who will stop bullying those fatherless. You're right God is our Father. I am now fatherless too because my Father already died and it as we brought him to the cemetery it seems that he also carry a piece of the puzzle in my life.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, I do believe God is my father and he is always there for me despite everything. Thanks

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's a good thinking sis para di ka rin masyadong madown. Be strong and be positive sis.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is to tell that one will never understand such not until when one find his or her self in such shoe, however, that still doesn't mean that those with the emotional touches and deep understand won't feel the pain of what such feels like.

This is why it is very important for one to always get his or her priority right before diving into that line of fathering or both parenting a child.

It is not by how fast one is quick to impregnate someone, but how well prepared for the journey, as that is the most important aspect, which is a vital key to avoiding that part of being an irresponsible father or mother. Yes, the aspect of fatherlessness might sometime come to play due to dead or some circumstances beyond just the father being irresponsible, but which so ever way, being careful with one steps in life help alot in balance the equation of the future outcome.

However, thanks for sharing such an interesting content. Cheers.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, if all people are responsible person this scenario could have been avoided or be lessen the suffering of innocent children.. so I hope anyone reading this would be responsible parents for their child/ren

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sadly I know a girl who was single and met a guy. I was super happy for her, that she found someone. They even had a little girl later. I was so excited about it as well. It turned out after the child was born the girl broke up with the guy, she just wanted a child, but not a partner. Poor little girl. Shame on the mother.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, there are several women who only likes to have a child and no father without them thinking about the child's sake ..a child needs a father, they're just so selfish to fill their own interests without thinking about their child sake

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's the right word. Selfish. There are other ways to have a child either biologically or not. With the mentioned behaviour you hurt the father too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can feel your pain from here sis. I have a friend who is happy even without a father. I don't know if she is just sugar coating or if that really works for her. Nonetheless, this is a reminder for ladies to do their kids a favour by choosing a good father for them. The kids won't have the chance to choose their parents but moms can choose the father of their kids. So, ladies must do their kids a favour by choosing good men, he doesn't have to be great, he just has to be responsible. It is now time to put stop to the growing number of sad daughters longing for their dad's love.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, sis tama ka.. a woman should really be responsible too in chosing a guy so this things will be avoided and lessen the counts of child suffering of being a fatherless.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is so very true. I never thought of it in these terms so, but it's very beautifully and perfectly described here. Fortunately I had a stepfather who stood in for my dad and he tried his best though I still always ached for my real father. Nonetheless I think that these imperfectly built puzzles, the one with the missing pieces, can sometimes be the best and most empathetic and enduring people of all. All the best to you, my dear.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You are blessed to have a stepfather who fill your father's responsibility.. and yeah I understand it is still different to have your biological father.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Wala ka man ama..anjan namn mama mo..but have you never thought of finding your father?...kung ako kc..hanapin ko

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Patay na daw kasi .

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You just reminded me of playful kiss ..I really enjoyed watching that series...it was a mixture of everything..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha that series movie is somehow annoying.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sa totoo lang talaga ang hirap ng walang ama. Pero mas mahirap ee yong buhay ang ama mo pero di ka naman kayang kilalanin. Alam mo un, yong mga amang magaling lang gagawa ng anak pero anjan na wala na, dyan kana. Ganon. Kaya yong obamg ina mas pinipiling itago sa anak ang lahat kasi ayaw ng mas masaktan pa ang bata sa pag taboy ng sariling ama 🥺

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ikaw ba I never heard na nagkwento ka about your papa.. may papa ka ba?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Meron ah haha wala na sya ee. Maagang kinuha samin year 2013

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Aw haha sorry kaya pala.. matagal tagal na rin pala nawala ano.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nakakarelate yung anak ko nito sis since she grow up without his father. I kept telling her na one day hahanapin mo rin papa mo, iba pa rin na makikita niya in person. Sabi ko eh kahit ano pa nagawa niyang Mali ama pa rin niya Yun at di siya lalabas sa Mundong ito Kung di dahil sa Papa niya. For now my communication naman sila ng Father niya at mga pinsan niya sa father side pero di pa sila nagkikita in person.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes sis, ako I never think talaga na haha apin ko papa ko pero recently lalo na pala pag ikakasal ka don mo maalala na mas maigi kung may papa 😣 kung magkita man sila soon hayaan mo lang para yun sa kanya..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Of course kahit my asawa na ako now iba pa rin ang totoong Papa niya. One day maisip din niyang hanapin yung papa niya

$ 0.00
2 years ago