What are the things that makes me feel down and bad to myself?

I have things that I observe to other girls and sometimes I feel insecure. I don't know if how I will explain this thoughts with you. I'm scared that what if they will thought of this topic or my blog-nonsense, immature, or anything. I don't like you to think of this topic like that and I know that there is no someone being like that here. That's why I set aside that thought of mine and just focus to let out all of these thoughts running in to my head

because, I can't endure this feeling being sad, being down, being depress. I hate this feeling! I hate being insecure or feel insecure to nonsense things.

I have a lot of questions you know? When people leaves me because I am not enough. Because they found things that I don't have and the other's have. Of course, they will go and leave me because they will not benefit me and they will just thought of me as nothing. Do you remember, if you will read to some of my articles about being with my Family and Friends, you know already that they used to treat me different, and they are just being kind because they know that I have a money. Now, let's talk about where I insecured, What are the things that makes me feel down and feel bad about myself?

1.When I see some other girls look sexy and Good to their Outfits

This was always happen when I see a lot of beautiful girls in their My Days in their social media accounts look good and beautiful because they can wear some fancy and girly things. Actually, I always lied when I say that I don't like girly stuffs but the truth is I like to buy some girly stuffs too and wear them when I go out but I'm scared of judgements. I am not confident or i don't have confidence in wearing them when I go out. Just like the trendy tops and also some make ups.

Here is the reasons why I can't wear them:

• I am a chubby girl so when i said that I am chubby, I have fats specially to my stomach. But did you know that even if girls have fats, they still have a body sexy shapes but I am different because i lost my curve shapes back then.

• I don't have money to buy some clothes like that. If I will buy maybe just twice or once a year only and all of the clothes that I always buy is always T-shirts and pants.

So when I look to girls that have a sexy body shape and they wear some trendy clothes, I will always say 'Hope all' esp. When they have a handsome boyfriends with them.

2.When I meet someone who are talented

I also feel insecure to some other girls who are talented. Like they can dance, sing, draw, and good at everything. Can i tell you a story? All of my ex see me nothing they can still look and they can still attract to other girls and this is the reason why I look down to myself and feel like I am not enough to them.

and speaking about this, I have a question to boys.

Why would you date a woman if you will still attract to other girls?

Because you see, that is always our weakness. When you look and attract to other girls we feel like anytime we can replaced and that is also the reason why I am scared of entering to relationship again.

As an advice, If that's the case before you will court a girl, you should think "This is the person that I will marry in the future" look to that girl as a woman, as your dream wife not just a simple woman who you just meet, you can be with in a temporary time. Because sometimes if you will thought or see them like that, you will know that anytime you can still for the other girls and you are not still satisfied and contented to her.

3.When someone born rich

You know that I am just born as a poor. That's why I am here to accumulate some more money just so I can save a money for the house for my Mom. Sometimes, I wish I was born rich so that I don't feel unwanted. It is hard to become poor you know, because people will not look at you as their friend, they will look down to you, and they will compare you to others too and the saddest reality is Poor people always experienced a unfair treatment. How I wish I am rich so that I will not experienced this all. I will not suffer and we can have our own stable house so that I will not hear the same words that my family always say to us.

4.When other girls have a fair and beautiful skin

I feel so jealous and insecure when other girls have a perfect skin. Like how? Even if how many times that I take a bath, I am still the same me. Have a dark spots, dark skins in some of my body parts like knees, and I have a lot of scars on my body so that is also a reason why I can't wear some revealing clothes because I feel so shy and embarrassed to my body.

Do you also know that I buy a lot of expensive beauty products? But I stop them because:

• No matter how expensive the products that you use if you will stop to use them they will still back to the same skin color and look. Sometimes, those products are just make you poorer because they are not effective.

I decided to just saved my money for more important things that than. how about we will think that those products and things that we will buy is just a temporary happiness and temporary to makes you feel better, right?

How I fight with this insecurities?

Despite that I have a lot of insecurities to other people, I still manage to love myself. Because without that, how I can grow my self confidence right? And this is the most important thing reminder for us-To love yourself before others.

I learned that I don't need to please other people, to change myself, to be like other people just so they can like and love me. I learned that even if there is no one beside me, It's sill okay because i don't need people like that. I can still live to this world with my own and I believe that our God never neglected and left me behind.

Always remember that, Whatever you are, True friends and Family will never leave you. They will stay with you and accept you and You are still blessed.

Thank you for reading! I hope that you like my Topic for today. 💚

My Previous Articles:

Would you rather eat your friend to stay alive?

I realize that making decisions as an adult is hard

Temporary experience of having $1000 while the bch pumps at $500

Doing Household chores is fun but not until when...

#Club1BCH 💚