Now, I was called Selfish
There are a lot of people who doesn't like to work and just chose to relay to other people because that is the only easy thing to do to survive. I was like that back then when I don't have source of my income. However, when I was starting to write here and hodl some Bitcoincash, I didn't depend to my Mom's money anymore.
Because, I can provide my needs already and I can also lend some as a Payment for the bills and groceries every month.
All I can say that after all the months passed, I improve as a kid learning about how to become an adult in the future.
Before, I was happy and i am not problematic about money because I think, i can survive easily. Why I think that before? 'Coz I am still a inoccent kid. I think when i will become an adult, My life will become easy. So I was so excited to become adult that time.
My parents never show to us that they have problems providing our needs everyday.
That is the reason why, I get used of that kind of mindset. My parents never show to us not until one day, they have a arguments because of Money. I still remember the word, 'Utang' or 'Loan' from my own Mom's mouth. I was ashamed of myself to my Friends back then because I keep always brag my things that my Mom give to me little thing that I didn't know, they beg people to let them lend some money just to buy the things that I wanted. They work in other people house just so they can threat us in Fast food chain and go to the places where other Family travels and spend their time to be a Happy Family.
Before I will tell you the reason why I am telling this to you right now, let me share to you
What I did last 3 am in the morning.
I woke up around 12 midnight because I forgot that I am reading an article that time. I was so sorry to other people because I didn't read their articles at the exact time and I don't know why I feel sleepy maybe because of I'm lack of sleep everyday and tired but nevertheless, I still managed to read some articles during that time until 3 am in the morning because I can't get back to sleep anymore.
After I read some articles. There is this thought that keep bugging me since yesterday and that is to convert a little fiat. Looking at my small drawer where I keep my things that i used for everyday, I don't have stocks anymore.
I don't remember the time when is the last time that I shop a grocery for my own. All that i convert, they always spend in a grocery, paying bills, and I also lend some money when my Grandmother need it too. The last time thay i converted is when the BCH is still around $400 the reason? I helped my Mom to give payment for the 3 workers who works in our house that time. Because her Older Sister bug her to fix the unfinished walls in the rooms and in the living room. It's still not finished yet because she is planning to hire another worker again to fix the ceiling in the living room in the end of this month.
Anyways, So I decided to convert a Php 2,000.00 or 0.12 BCH from my earning this month that time after deciding for How many days now. The BCH Price that time is at $312 much better than converting from $200+ price. That is more painful to see.
After converting, I slept. Around 8 am when I woke up and visit my coins.ph account, I already recieved the BCH that I converted a while ago. I still hesitating if I will convert it for real and I'm still deciding if I will buy things for myself.
Why I need to spend my 2,000 pesos?
Because I need to buy these following:
Shampoo
Conditioner
Lotion
Aside from that, the other money will be used to buy snacks. I don't remember when is the last time that I bought snacks for myself. I remember that I said to my article before that, Someone is stealing or a thief. A kid from the other house are going in and out in the kitchen and I just saw her sitting outside holding one of my favorite drink. I don't have problem with that actually but stealing something without even beg for my permission is a NO for me. So, A lesson learned for me not to buy some snacks and keep it to our fridge anymore.
That is also the reason why, I am planning to buy A mini fridge as a gift for myself in coming July. ¹
But this time, I wanted to pamper myself because I missed eating my favorites snacks and drinking my favorite beverages. If you wanted to know if what is my favorite snacks and drinks? I loved eating and drinking any Strawberry and Dark chocolate flavored snacks. It makes me feel alive and feel the heaven everytime that I eat those.
Now, The reason why the introduction of my article right now is like that is because someone made me to wrote about this and I was pissed early in the morning.
Imagine, I just woke up and eating breakfast peacefully in the kitchen then a little punk show up in front of me and telling me to lend him some money? I was annoyed because the timing is not right. I just woke up and he didn't even bother to think to say it later.
You know when people doesn't have a proper sleep, you should keep your distance from them and you shouldn't bother them because in a short period of time, they will boom! I mentioned before that i am a type of person that my patience is just short so, don't expect me to be nice to you in that kind of situation but Still, I managed to control my emotion and said that i don't have money and I don't like to convert because the BCH is still low but this little sh-t didn't understand what i just said and he even called me Selfish and that is the moment that I am k!lling the person in front of me. I lost my patience and do tne enhale and exhale.
"I'm selfish? Fine! And so if I am? But I'm doing this because My Mom said to me to keep my Money and saved it. I don't like to disobey her not because she said it but because she was right. Even if I give money, I share money, and give my best. Y'all didn't appreciate my efforts! That is not being selfish. I just like to saved because A people like you doesn't know how to save. I am selfish? Yes, I am doing that because I have goals, i have plans. Just a simple words yet someone like you who are lazy to save some money can't understand. Not because I was saving and earning it doesn't mean that I will be your bank. Now, Get lost before I will do something that you don't like."
When I opened my eyes. I just smiled to him a fake one. Those words are just in my mind and I don't like to talk back anymore because i know that even if I will explain my side, they will never understand it and they will still think the same so why bother?
After I rant before last time that I published what I felt to this house. That is the start of my doesn't care if we don't pay the bills and we don't have foods world. It's not that I do like my Family to starve but because I want them to get used not to relay to me always. They have works, while me I don't have so it's time and it's their turn too to pay the bills and pay all the things that we needed. Let me my wallet and pocket rest too. If I keep paying and giving, I think... I can't save some money for the room of my Mom.
I did that because I already experienced of how hard for us to earn money. I am being like this because even if they will tell to me that they will pay me still, they will never changed the BCH that I converted. Imagine, if I will lend him the Php 2,000 that he needs, I convert 0.12 BCH just like how I convert my 2,000. If BCH will increase, you know how much the value in Php right?
Final Thoughts...
Sometimes, it's okay to become selfish. It's not bad because we have a lot of reasons why we choose to become like that. Besides, people around us give us a thousands of reason to do that though. So I think, it's okay to be called by other selfish but it doesn't mean that we deserved it because they didn't understand us.
Thank you for reading!
My Previous articles:
About what I experienced in writing stories
Let's think of a way to make money
After Months: Are you still active?
How's your life at the age of Thirty, Nine?
You deserve to treat yourself this time around! I hope that you can spoil yourself a bit instead of worrying about bills and stuff. It is really draining to put up with people who keeps acting entitled to your hard-earned money. Pero you have more patience than me because I would have exploded in that sitiation or move to another room just so I will not have to see their faces.