Dear Diary, I Feel Thankful.

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Avatar for Ellehcim
3 years ago

11/05/2021


The storm's over, or at least, I claim it to be. I am over that era, and moving on the next chapter, hopefully a fruitful, and fun-filled one.

From Unsplash

I am over this specific crisis of my life. October has been a roller coaster of emotions and troubles for me, as I fought with lots of anxieties, fears, and even illnesses. I even wondered at some point, when will this all end?

I am writing this one after talking to God. In my prayer, I thanked Him about my recent improvements. I emphasized how I have come to appreciate just the fact that I did not overthink today. For the first time in a while, my mind was free of invading thoughts, of regrets, and of fears. Today was especially a relaxing day, and I also feel satisfied knowing I made it worth it.

For sure, I'll get a good sleep tonight. I have driven all bad dreams, and negtivities away in Jesus' name. I still tend to have sleep paralysis these past few weeks, to be honest. It's not new to me, as I have been so used to it ever since a few years back. Just last night, I was also about to have it. I have mastered the strategy, though. Whenever that feeling of stiffness starts to take over, I try to move my toes or my finger, attempt to open my eyes—in short, to wake myself up fully. In an awake state, I rebuke whatever it is that's causing me to be like that, and pray strongly. I seriously drive it away, whatever demon that is, that further makes it hard for me to sleep.

I know sleep paralysis is caused by lack of sleep, and stress. But the fear and panic caused by it is the work of the devil. I know they are definitely there, trying to scare the heck out of me, affecting my good sleep. I would never let them win.

After a strong remark, I go back to sleep feeling better than before. Sleep paralysis no more. You know, in my case, if I just try to move to the other side and continue to sleep, the paralysis happens again. So, I have learned my own technique whenever how to fight it.

I missed this. Letting a day pass hapily without any worries bothering me. There are still worries, of course, but they're not bothersome anymore.

When I prayed, I looked back at those days, and weeks that I was so overwhelmed with troubles. I had so many questions back then, lots of tears, and lots of lamentations against the world. Everything just did not go my way, and I asked myself and God, maybe I did wrong for fate to joke with me like this? Is it still because of that decision I made one or two years ago? And then I always asked for God's understanding, again, and again, because I know He's aware that this particular decision was hard for me, too. That after almost five years, I chose myself. Maybe I became selfish, but I could not make muself suffer more emotionally. I believed that it's not bad to leave something that does harm more than good.

Comparing the before and after, I am happy I was able to see how different I am today. I do hope, sincerely, that this will go on in the next day, week, month, year, or decade. Being distant from God brought about all negativities to get the best of me, so I was not in good shape in those days. Right now, I am trying to get myself closer to God, everyday, and I am feeling the results quickly effecting.


My, I am dozing off while writing this. Should I keep on doing this, or sleep? Let's see if I can make it today. My body must be still tired from what I did today.

Oh, the neighbor's still up this time. Karaoke again. There are just people who don't care to others who can only find rest in a night's sleep. These insensitive people just want fun, sing all they want, while other who just want to sleep, are suffering. I hope they'd have a bit of shame left and end their karaoke session now. It's already 10 pm, for Pete's sake. They must have forgotten that they hve neighbors. Oh my, these people.

Anyway, as I am really sleepy, I know I'll just go to the dreamland after this one. I just turned of the light. I hope I won't hear their voices in my dreams LOL.

Regardless, today was still a refreshing day. I was able to do a lot of things, start important journey, plus another achievement—doing the thimg I used to be a bit scared of. I will share about it soon.

I am thankful for my small achievements. I was able to break a bad habit, come out of my risk-scared self box, help someone, and even get a good siesta this afternoon. I am thankful I live in a complete family that are filled with love for one another. I am thankful for the blessings. For the day that is about to end. For the things I used to take for granted and noy notice before, I am thankful. I am sill blessed.

This has been my life update for today. I really am thankful that you read up to here. Until next time! May God provide us happiness, strength, and peace in these trying times.

Thanks a lot for reading! And also... ehem! Thanks in advance for considering to sponsor me. 😉 I will do my best to not disappoint you.

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To God be The Glory.

  • Lead Image from Unsplash

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3 years ago

Comments

Atykuł potrafi chwycić za serce i dotrzeć do głowy wszystkich czytelników. Świetnie się czyta oraz można z niego bardzo dużo wynieść i zainteresować się treścią. Każdemu polecam przeczytać artykuł i zagłosować na plus.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I apologize for replying late. I have translated your comment into English, and it made me smile. Thank you so much for coming here. Nice to meet you. :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Everything really work out well when we surrender it to God. God has the control of everything. ✨

About sa neighbor niyo Elle, wala pala kayong curfew kung ganon?

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Meron naman yatang curfew, kaso may psaway pang talaga. Natapos din naman sila 20 minutes after 10 pm. Nakakainis lang kasi, ang hilig mag ingay, affected mga kapitbahay na gusto nang matulog.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Kaya nga. Di man lang din mag consider sa iba. Pero sana di na mangyari ulit ay.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Naku, lagi tong nangyayari dito, di pa din ako nasasanay. Ayoko kasi nang maingay talaga, lalo pag gabi na.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Grabe talaga din minsan mga kapitbahay natin. Okay lang sana kung tanghali ii.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

True yan! Walang konsoderasyon ksi. Buti sana kung araw araw may okasyon, na kasama din kami para maiintindihan namin eh. 🤧

$ 0.00
3 years ago

In everything give thanks. It's good to count our blessings, no matter how little it is.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Amen! Blessings are still blessings!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

When you're having sleep paralysis, you should try to move your pinky fingers and toes. I'm also having sleep paralysis back then and that's what I did to wake up. Maybe, that will work for you, too.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Of course, I always do that. It's really effective. Most of the times, my toes do the work.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It's good to know that it works for you. Just don't overthink too much.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you. :)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Glad that you overcome sleep paralisys sis. It's tough to have that one. In Jesus name, we will conquer everything.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I also believe this. Thanks for being here. :))

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I know how bad those moments of waking paralysis are, sometimes the panic is so horrid for me, not because of the paralysis, but because of what I feel is in the room with me. I have learned as well my own way how to deal with it when it happens, but I'm thankful it's been a long while since it last happened. I hope you get some great rest and that it's another peaceful time for you - only good things going forward 🌸

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Thanks a lot. I can say I've gotten a bit used to it, but it will never be a pleasant experience.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I love the fact that you put God first in what you do, with God all things are possible and I pray that all disturbances are gone from today, you will continue to enjoy peace in Jesus name amen. thanks, new friend nice to have you

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Thank you Ebizz! Nice to meet you, too! See you around. ❤️

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Is a pleasure from me thanks

$ 0.01
3 years ago

No worries. 🤗

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I am happy that you overcome sleep paralysis sis. I had that before. That was the time I was working at night and sleeping in the morning. I always see the monster looking at me from my head. It is scary but I fight it. I have our big God with me.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

We have different ways having it, but same when it comes to body experience. We can't move nor speak, and we are awake even not a hundred percent. As for me, I once saw shadow of children laughing at me—that's my very first experience and that was really scary. In the next ones though, i don't see anything since I can't open my eyes. I know what we see are just part of our dreams, and we should NOT be scared anymore, because God is with us, in Jesus' name!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Be thankful for the small things and I am glad you sleep.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Thanks po! I woke up at 5 a.m. due to dogs fighting at that early hour, and I decoded to visit here so I could catch up what I failed towhen I slept. 😅

$ 0.00
3 years ago

wow you are early, well still nice to see you :)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ahihi, I felt sleep again so I slept and woke up at 7:30 again. 😂 Though marami na po ako naaccomplish here since yesterday.. ❤️

$ 0.00
3 years ago