No one: . . .
My friends:
"I'm excited for you to have a boyfriend."
"Are you seeing someone right now?"
"Magpa-party ako pag nagka-jowa ka." (I'll host a party once you get a boyfriend.)
"Paano ka kaya pag may jowa? Kasi si ganito si ganyan nakita ko na kung paano pag may jowa." (I wonder if how will you act once you get a boyfriend. Because I already seen our other friends how they act when they have a boyfriend.)
Me be like:
Well, I often get bombarded with those lines by my friends. And sometimes, I honestly get annoyed because duh? Is it really a big deal if a person is single for so long? Is it really necessary to be in a relationship? The answer is ✨ no ✨
I am 20 already and I haven't had a boyfriend since birth... ever.
What I noticed nowadays and even since then is that being single is shameful while being in a relationship is on trend.
And... single-shaming is also more focused on women. For example, if a woman isn't in a relationship, most of the people see that woman as 'undesirable' or 'tatandang dalaga' (old single woman). While if it's a man who isn't in a relationship, most of the people call him a 'bachelor' which sounds more of a compliment. Doesn't it sound unfair?
Anyways, you may ask "why am I single?". Here's the reason, my friends...
1. Alone but not lonely.
Just like other people, I enjoy spending time alone but I am not a sociopath. Haha.
2. Hush, no rush.
I am not in a rush to enter into a relationship just for the sake of having it. As I've said, I think being in a relationship is a trend and I don't want myself to enter into it just because I feel pressured because everyone around me is in a relationship.
Just like others, I also believe in love. I am not against relationships. I think having a healthy relationship is such a beautiful thing but it is not that easy. Couples who are in a relationship should work together in order to have it. Let's just say that I am being preserved for someone really great in the future.
3. I am working on myself.
No one is going to make us whole other than ourselves.
Don't expect someone to fill something in our life. Don't expect someone to be a solution to our problems. Work on ourselves first before entering in a relationship. Otherwise, it is unfair for the other person and the relationship will turn into an unhealthy slash toxic one.
As cliche as it sounds, I am working on making myself better right now. I am working on my self-confidence, self-esteem, and being authentic in front of others. I really am not an open person so most of the time I am having trouble being my true self to other people. You know the impostor syndrome? I experience that sometimes. By the time I get a partner, I want to be so honest and true to him. Being honest to one another is followed by also being comfortable to each other. A partner is someone who I'll spend most of my time with so I want to be honest and not live in a lie for most of my life just to please another person.
That's my answer to why am I single. I think I am single by choice though.
Now, I am going to answer some questions from a link that I got from @Meyzee at her article: Single ka dahil?
Here are my chosen questions:
7. Do you think you’re being too picky?
Definitely! This question also sounds like "do you think you have high standards?". Well, why not? There's nothing wrong with that.
There are people who shame others for having high standards.They will often say:
"Ang choosy mo naman." (You’re so choosy.)
"Luh. Gusto mo ng gwapo eh ang pangit mo naman." (You want someone handsome but you’re ugly.)
"Feeling mo naman makakahanap ka ng ganyan.” (You feel like you can find someone like that.)
“Kaka-high standards mo, di ka magkaka-jowa.” (You have high standards, you won't get a boyfriend/girlfriend.)
Stop shaming others for having high standards or any of their preferences. It’s none of your business. 😋
Personally, I have my realistic high standards. I can distinguish between realistic and fictional standards. Well, realistically, I can't find the exact man that I see in movies, k-dramas, Wattpad, and novels who is so good-looking, muscular, rich, and has all the good personalities aka perfect. Well, I know there are men like that who exist but maybe 1% of the total population? LOL. I will share about my standard or my ideal type in a separate article.
But seriously, everyone, it’s okay to have high standards and you shouldn’t lower it just because of external noises. Don’t settle for less.I somehow talk about this on my previous article: Things I'm Glad that I Did In My Teenage Life. And here’s my favorite quote for this kind of topic...
“When you don’t know how much you are worth, you will sell yourself cheap.”
—Breeny Lee, 2018
15. Do you ever get lonely?
Maybe there are times when I do. But most of the time, I don't get lonely. I really enjoy spending time alone. Actually, when it comes to roaming around the city, a place I am familiar with, and when shopping for an upcoming event, I prefer to be alone because I feel like I can really go to one place to another where I truly want and I won’t bother anyone’s time.
22. Don’t you want to have kids one day?
When I was in elementary school and didn't have any idea about real situations, I thought of having children in the future. But now that I think maturely at the age of 20, I actually can't imagine myself opening up my legs to give birth. Hahaha. 😂 I can't imagine myself taking care of a child cause I can't even take care of myself, what more if it's another human being? Hahaha. Imagining myself bearing a person inside my tummy for 9 months makes me terrified and worried. Having a kid is a huge responsibility and very expensive. Most of the time, I don’t have plans anymore on having kids, but maybe my mind will change in the future. Here are my plans instead of having kids:
One of my big goals is to travel the world so my plan is to just spend my money on travel rather than kids.
I will become a pet mom. I will adopt either cats or dogs.
I will be the Rich Tita (aunt). 💅
24 Don’t you ever get tired of hanging out with the same group of friends?
No. Periodt.
25 Isn’t there someone you at least like?
I don't have anyone who I seriously like. I think the last time I had a serious crush was when I was in Grade 9, like 3 years ago. LOL. I'm not an asexual. The crushes that I have are Jonaxx boys aka fictional characters, Bigbang, and men on k-drama. 🥰
I guess if it is face to face right now, it is possible that I have a crush on someone on our campus.
28. Are you meeting new people?
No, because it's pandemic. My other friends are actually using Bumble (online dating app) to meet new people and I'm not against it. But as for me, I am really not interested with those stuff. I rather spend my time here on read.cash and on noise.cash.
30. Do you like the single life?
Yup. I got to spend so much time on things that have value for me. I got to do anything I want without another person bugging me. I got to save money by not going on dates. I don't need to explain everything to another person.
Those are my point of view on being single since birth.
I think right now as I am writing this... I am single, not ready to mingle yet. But if someone will come, it's okay (?). Maybe once I graduated, that's the time when I am completely ready for a commitment.
In our family, I noticed that most of my uncles and aunts' relationships, and even my parents... they are each other's first and last jowa (lover). And I also want that for myself. ❤️ (Ayoko na ng ex ex kasi ang daming drama. Hahaha.)
Nowadays, it's so hard to find a sensible person who can be your partner for the rest of your life. So, don't pressure anyone if they can't find a partner yet.
That's all! Sorry if I blabber too much. Haha.
Thanks for reading! 🤗
Previous Articles:
Get to know me more on my noise.cash: CrazyRichFilipina
Date Published: August 13, 2021
Ah, 20 years old is still young. There will be time to find a boyfriend soon. Haha. But of course landi is life too. Haha. Make sure to landi when you're ready. XD