I have been in long term relationships. I have failed saving these two, but I do not regret it now. This time, I want to talk about the things that I believe in when it comes to relationships. The things that maybe some of you does not consider. Let us start with why am I always in a long-term commitment with someone.
I don’t know how to say it exactly, but I am the kind of person that will try her best to save someone I love or our relationship at all costs. Maybe that is the reason why I have been in long-term relationships with someone, though we failed to save it then. For me, a relationship should start on getting to know your partner. You will not be able to be comfortable with someone if you haven’t known them that much. That is where I always start – by knowing things about them. It should always start there, right? Now, you can see in my title that I used the three words – CONSISTENCY, HONESTY, and TRANSPARENCY. Why? Because these three are the things I consider before starting a commitment or relationship with someone. I have to feel them. I have to see them. Let me explain to you why.
First, CONSISTENCY.
I am not a believer of “love at first sight”. I think people misunderstood that love is measured just by how many minutes or seconds you stared to someone. Before I commit myself to someone, I don’t need to hear the words “I love you” or “I need you”. What I needed is to feel their consistency. I have to feel the assurance first before I give my heart to someone. I am not going to a battle without an armor. I protect myself by setting this kind of mindset.
Consistency is something that is not so easy to give, especially if it is coming from someone who is always looking for something else. The most important thing to earn in a relationship is consistency. Not everyone has it. So, if you have found someone who have it, root for them. I think this is why I have been in long-term relationships. Once I loved you, my consistency always follows. I’m with you, I’ll stick with you.
Second is TRANSPARENCY.
This is what I love the most. Being transparent to someone means you are not afraid to show them your true color and soul. Most relationships should have transparency to avoid or minimize arguments and misunderstandings. Tell them things they didn’t imagine you’ll going to tell them. Because in such way, they will worthy. They will realize that you trust them and you let them see you the way no one else did. Transparency is also about opening the other side of you to someone. Letting them understand why you are like this and that. It would be a great foundation with the both of you.
I, myself, really prayed for a partner who will be transparent to me. The one who lets me see him cry, listen to his thoughts, and feel his every emotion. Who doesn’t want that? Being the person your partner trusts.
Lastly, HONESTY.
We all want and pray to be an honest person. It is not because we are a paranoid one, but because no one deserved to be filled with lies. No one deserves any kind of betrayal like being lied to. Honesty should be present in a relationship. If one isn’t being honest, the foundation of the relationship is weak. Everyone should understand the importance of this, especially nowadays. Sometimes, it starts with lying about little things, which is not a good start. If you started lying and lying all over again, it will be normal. You will not realize that what you are doing it not right – until you lose someone because of it. Do not normalize lying to your partner or someone. You don’t have any idea how much they trust you.
It is not always about love. A commitment doesn’t involve only love. It should have a foundation of consistency, transparency, and honesty. Love alone could not save a relationship.
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perhaps it wasn't actually love because love should cover all three...hehehe....kidding aside, it comes when least expected. We just have to be patient.^^