What makes people charming?

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom".

Marcel Proust

When you tell someone “you are charming”, what does it mean? Why do you think he or she is charming? There would be something or things you have seen such a person exhibiting or doing, that makes you look at his or her face with a smile and say “you are charming”. Charming means for someone to be extremely pleasing, attractive or delightful. Whichever you want to choose, a person who is charming means the person is good to the extreme. We would be looking at some characteristics a person must possess to be called a charming person because you can't see or meet a bad person and say he or she is charming. 

As long as we know, we have beautiful people around us who are ready to make us happy. We want to be seen around them and likewise, they want to be with us so they can listen to us and help us resolve the problems we might be sharing with them. Now, let's take a look at those who are charming and how they are qualified to be called that. 

A charming person talks less. We have all been made to understand that when we are interacting with others, we should talk less and not too much so we don´t say things we ought not to say. People in this category know when to talk and not to talk and they believe that actions speak louder than voices. If you want to know those who are charming, observe them when they talk, people like them are found to act rather than talk and they pay attention to the situation before they talk and when they do, they do it less and straight to the point and they already pass across their messages.

Talking less helps one to focus on the matter on the ground and they say the essential things rather than beating around the bush. A person who talks less makes every word count. The less a person says, the more information the person you are speaking with will share and you will be able to learn from each other. 

A charming person talks calmly. Just like talking less, it is similar to talking calmly and slowly because they don´t want to make errors while talking. They want to make sure the other person is getting their points so it doesn't look like time-wasting. When a person talks calmly, it reveals the person´s personality and how he or she handles matters in a more intelligent way. Talking calmly helps you to focus on the matter and proffer solutions where necessary. 

A charming person maintains good eye contact while speaking. Yoruba will always say “it is in the eyes, words are revealed” You don't want to start speaking and looking below your feet or gazing at the ceiling, it makes you an unfocused and unserious fellow. Maintaining good eye contact means you are paying attention to the other person while talking and the other person is flowing along with you. Such a person knows what it means to look eyeball to eyeball to catch the attention of who he is speaking with. 

A charming person has respect towards a subordinate and strangers. A person in this category knows how to respect everyone including those that are lesser in authority. He or she doesn't discriminate but treats everyone with respect. While some will want to exercise their power on those lesser than them and not be humble, a charming person knows how to accord respect to people younger than him including strangers because he knows everyone, whether young or old should be given respect. Respect is reciprocal and such a person would want to earn his respect by showing to others irrespective of who they are. They don´t look down on anyone and aren't proud. 

A charming person keeps a faint smile throughout a conversation. Even when the conversation is funny or not, the other person might not want to be seen as useless, but keeping a faint smile which could probably not be noticeable would be found on a charming person´s face. They understand them while they talk and giving a  faint smile means they are following up with what others are saying and shouldn´t be seen laughing out loud because it might mean you are mocking the other person and be considered as someone who is not serious. 

A charming person admits his mistakes and flaws with confidence and humility. A person in this category believes that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws, so admitting them makes them a better person because they are ready to learn from others and want others to learn from them. He is ready to take the blame and criticism when he makes mistakes and does not keep his flaws to himself but he is ready to talk it out with confidence and allow others to learn from him. Also, they make mistakes, admit that they did it and are ready to make changes where necessary even from young ones. 

A charming person lives happily, does what is right and does not complain much about life. People in this category want to be happy and wouldn't want anything to jeopardize that moment for them. They believe they own their happiness and should create it, despite being in a bad situation since they know they can´t change what has happened, but taking the step to do what is right and never complains too much about life. A charming person takes responsibility and accepts situations as they are, and they are ready to do what is right to turn things in their favour and never to complain or put blame on the circumstances of life. 

With all these characteristics I have explained, I believe many of us are charming because we possess most, if not all of them, and if you actually pass all of these, because I know we aren't perfect, then, this is me saying that “you are charming”.

Thanks for reading.

Image by Vitolda on unsplash

[May 05, 2022] (No 125 article for the year)