Understand This And Know Peace.

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For as many people who would like to go into a romantic relationship, well... For any kind of relationship too, I believe we can pick one or two things here too. I know there is no one cap fits all but there is always something to learn because no one knows it all.

Relationship is a different ball game and because you know someone as a friend doesn't mean you know all there is to know about them. You learn daily even after you tie the knot with the person. I've known some people as a friend and the moment we started dating, it looks like I didn't know them before. The funny thing is, they didn't hide their parts away, no, they didn't but there are things you will overlook as a friend but there are some things you cannot overlook as a lover.

Everything gets extra attention, extra scrutiny not because you want to nail them and feel good with yourself that you were right but because there are some decisions that cannot be joked with if you intern to go through the forever route with that special person. There are some things you have to nip in the bud because what you don't want in your future, you don't export it there. In my language they would say "What you don't want as a rich man, you start rejecting it when you are still poor".

Relationship is a big deal and most people should know this. It is more than the kisses, touches or let me say, romance generally. It's a lot more than that because you would be faced with some threatening decision which if you have nothing in your tank, you won't have the strength to move on. To better equip ourselves, I think we need to understand few things:

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WE ALL HAVE WEAKNESSES.

You are not without a weakness just as your partner is not without one either. Except you are God, you have no right to amplify another person's weakness while trying to make excuses for your own. You can always get the best from your partner the moment you understand that they have weakness and it should not be focused too much on.

You can address it and in fact, you should address it but with the intention of making them better and realize their wrongs not because you want to throw your ability to always be right in his or her face. Remember, you are on the same team and if you both keep pulling in opposite direction, that's a relationship waiting to crash.

Don't expect your partner to be perfect but they should have a willing heart to listen and learn how to be better for themselves and of course, for you. Is there a rose without a thorn? Is there a goal without going through the fire? You can't expect that handsome face, that beautiful smile, that kindhearted human to be all dazzling and sparkling without going through some things in life that would have built or created an impression in their mind. Most people react in some ways because of the things they have been through so if you can't stand the heat, leave the kitchen or better still, put some air-conditioning there - that's how you help.

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THERE IS NO ONE WITHOUT A PAST.

There is no one without a past they wish they didn't have. It can be a troubled childhood or even a major heart break so don't expect your partner to always be at their best. This is not a Hollywood movie where it's a sparkling and they wake up kissing without brushing their teeth or they always make breakfast for each other. You can get there but don't expect yourself or even your spouse to get their so fast and don't use that as an excuse either if you managed to overcome yours faster than the other.

We've all done what we are not proud of, God knows I have such a long list too, just as with most people as well. Most people are fond of reminding their spouse of what they are trying to bury, not because they are trying to help them get over it but because they want to manipulate and rule their spouse with fear. Your partner have you for a reason and that's to help them get over the horrors of the past and it's what we have to do daily, not one off... That's where love and attention comes in.

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EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS ITS OWN CHALLENGE.

Most people make the mistake of mirroring their own relationship based on what they have seen with others. I have often heard people say they would love to be like so and so couple and I shake my head being sorry for them because if only their know half of what others are going through, they would understand they have had it better and should focus on what they have going.

I have heard many people idolize the relationship our very own superstar; Tuface have with Annie until recently when situations started raising its ugly head and people have a peek into what they are both dealing with. No relationship is perfect and if you see anyone that is perfect based on mutual understanding, then you should know that they have put in the work when it was tough.

It's not a bed of roses and I know Hollywood movies messed up with a lot of minds where they think it is so easy to get over certain things. You don't get over certain things, you have to walk through it. Most people are not willing to do the work yet they want the "perfect". Your love is shown in moment of challenge and most people celebrate success but forget there was hardwork that led to it. For those asking for a perfect relationship without challenges, ask yourself if you are even perfect. I sure know I am not and we are all perfectly flawed but we should be ready to walk through it. Situations will always come up but we need to focus on how we handle it.

Let me stop right here and would continue this tomorrow...

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Thank you for your time.