Please, Run II.

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I shared a few days ago about the experience of a lady with guys who says their relationship is "complicated" just because they want to eat their cake and have it. You can read about it here: Please, Run.

I shared the link on my WhatsApp status and a guy read it but he told me he would love to hear from the perspective of a guy too. He wants me to advise the guys also against ladies who take them for granted hahaha. Oh well...

As I often say, it's not a gender thing but it is more of who you are. Most ladies have also used that line before "complicated" because they just want to enjoy benefits from the guy while holding on to the person their heart beats for. It's not about who is right or wrong but about us going better as humans.

I would advise any guy to run from a lady whose main focus is just about marriage and she won't even develop herself. Most ladies just train themselves for marriage and after marriage, they have nothing else to offer. It's sad because women are capable of so much more but they don't even see it themselves.

I advised a friend of mine to be wary of a lady she just met and because she stays abroad she feels she controls the situation of things and was telling him her plan is to get married this year and he should get on board with it. Of course, I asked my friend if that idea sits well with him because I can't advise him if I don't know where he stands.

I am not against her plan to get married this year but I am against how she is going about it. You can't because you want to get married this year you would overlook sensitive intimate moments you are both supposed to cultivate as a result of communication. Communication is key and most people don't even know how to talk. I get worried when most people think they hold the ace and they are doing you a favour by dating you.

Guys, you need to understand your worth and not put yourself in unnecessary bondage all because you are looking for the easy way out. Marriage is a lot deeper than most people think and you would have to make sure you ask certain questions, make sure your goals and visions align and be ready to sacrifice some other aspects too just to make it work. If you are the only one sacrificing, please run.

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I know we don't all have the same ability but at least you must do something no matter how little. It's the intention that counts. Those who think marriage is the end goal surely don't have a purpose to live for other than having a title. For a determined mind trust me, marriage should be a bonus. Success is attractive but how do you even want to cope when you have nothing to bring to the table?

I was shocked when a guy told me the lady he asked out asked him how much he would be giving her monthly. I asked him if they were having some sort of business arrangement or she is selling something or maybe he took a loan and he scheduled how much he would be paying monthly because I don't understand. Guys, I am not ashamed to say this just as I have advised ladies in a previous article too, run.

If she proves all she is about is money or what she can get without showing any interest in loving you, knowing you or even giving her time to you then it's not worth it because it shows her loyalty would change with someone who offers more and this is a needless competition you don't have to get yourself involved with.

I admire ladies who hold their own...who won't even need to ask because any right-thinking guy should know how to give and when to give without being asked but when she makes it a prerequisite for dating her, please run and don't look back. She is simply telling you she can be bought and you don't need someone who can be bought because it shows her loyalty would be questioned and she cannot be relied upon.

She is a sucker, someone that thinks only about herself because if she wants to build with you, she would tell you how to properly channel the resources to put it into good use. I am not saying she is going to be wrong to receive from you when you give, no, she has every right to receive from you when you offer and vice versa but it's not something she must place a demand on, thinking because she is dating you, it is your responsibility to fend for her.

I have heard some ladies say shocking things and I questioned their upbringing, even their exposure. I was worried as to the things they have been exposed to that messed them up this bad. Some ladies would expect you to be the one to buy everything they need even to their private wear as though you are their daddy. I always advise men never to play the role of husbands when they are still boyfriends and the same goes for ladies, stop playing the role of a wife when you are still a girlfriend. This is why most people feel so broken when things didn't work out because they have made things difficult for themselves.

Let me stop right here and maybe tomorrow I would share something ridiculous I read on Twitter a few years ago about the standards most people have before choosing a partner...

Thank you for your time.

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