Please, Run.
Relationships can be tricky and I am a practical person. In as much as I am hopelessly romantic, I can be very practical and most people understand this and that's why they sometimes ask for my opinion on things. It's good to sample opinions sometimes especially when you don't know which part is leading you; your head or your heart. I have massive respect for those who want to know not because they want me to decide for them but because they want to weigh their options so they can make the right decision for themselves.
A relationship takes courage and you have to also learn how to strike a balance between your head and your heart. Going with your head alone means you are ditching the romantic aspect of things which isn't good. No one wants to date someone who takes the fun out of things because that person wants to be practical all the time. Going with your heart alone also means you are hopelessly romantic and no one wants someone who would be all about romance without any iota of reality. A relationship is not a Hollywood movie because you will always get that reality check.
For your sake, try to find a perfect balance of what works for you but learn to go with your head and your heart because you need a voice of reason amid your fairytale.
People can be funny and that's the truth. We want to eat our cake and have it. Someone mentions in the comment section of my last post on Academics and Relationships and he said women are chameleons. I laughed and of course, I am not blaming him because he must have experienced certain things to be able to hold that view but I was able to tell him that it's not just about the ladies but also about the guys. We have terrible guys too and that's a fact.
Many people would come to you in sheep clothing but they are ravaging beasts. They would have this calm demeanour and you would think you have found your Prince Charming and the mistake most ladies make is that they get swept off with the euphoria and they forget to watch out for the warning signs the guy drops from time to time. They are interested in showing off to their friends the "catch" they have, they are happy because they feel unworthy of such a person so they overlook a lot of things because they want to hold on to that person and make things work even under avoidable circumstances.
We accept the love we think we deserve and we need to understand that no one is doing you a favour by dating you, if they don't see the value they won't come and the question is what value are you offering? Most people confuse their value for beauty and if all the things you can offer come just from your body then you really don't understand what value means.
One of my good daughters messaged me 2 days ago because she got confused as to what the guy meant when the guy said he is in a "complicated" relationship. She likes the guy and I think the guy likes her too and because I always tell everyone around me to ask their partner to define what they are to each other, she asked the guy if he is in a relationship because she didn't want to get entangled and the guy said: "It's complicated." I told her to run and not look back because that's a major heartbreak waiting to unleash.
Ladies, don't get yourself entangled unnecessarily because from the look of things this guy clearly wants to eat his cake and then have it. He is telling this girl about the other person but won't tell the other person about her because he wants to keep that other one.
Some might genuinely be in a complicated situation, no doubt but allow him to go and sort out his complications without involving you. Don't allow him to patronize you with words. After he has sorted himself out and you are still available and you still wish to have him back, then it's your choice.
There are so many people who would tell you their situation is complicated and they would hold you by that after you find them out. They would tell you they explained how tricky the situation is just to absolve themselves of the blame and the guilt leaving you going back to ground zero while they move on with the other person.
I've had and heard people use the ridiculous statement as "I don't love her, it's you that I love." Don't be fooled because the same way he is about to leave that person is the same way he would eventually leave you. Others have used lines like: "I am dating her out of courtesy. Let time pass and I would marry you instead." Or "It's a family arrangement and I want someone that I love for myself and that's you." Or "We've known each other for long so it's hard to just leave her." Or "She only trapped me with pregnancy."
They would always come up with words to keep you around while they keep a solid beside them, don't fall for it, run. Don't fall for those tricks and that's your warning shot. You deserve better and it's worth waiting for.
Thank you for your time.
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I think it's good to be matured before going into a relationship and it is good to know what you want before falling for someone. When that is done, it saves one the headache of a complicated relationship, or being stuck with someone for one selfish reason or the other