Please, Run.

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2 years ago

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Relationships can be tricky and I am a practical person. In as much as I am hopelessly romantic, I can be very practical and most people understand this and that's why they sometimes ask for my opinion on things. It's good to sample opinions sometimes especially when you don't know which part is leading you; your head or your heart. I have massive respect for those who want to know not because they want me to decide for them but because they want to weigh their options so they can make the right decision for themselves.

A relationship takes courage and you have to also learn how to strike a balance between your head and your heart. Going with your head alone means you are ditching the romantic aspect of things which isn't good. No one wants to date someone who takes the fun out of things because that person wants to be practical all the time. Going with your heart alone also means you are hopelessly romantic and no one wants someone who would be all about romance without any iota of reality. A relationship is not a Hollywood movie because you will always get that reality check.

For your sake, try to find a perfect balance of what works for you but learn to go with your head and your heart because you need a voice of reason amid your fairytale.

People can be funny and that's the truth. We want to eat our cake and have it. Someone mentions in the comment section of my last post on Academics and Relationships and he said women are chameleons. I laughed and of course, I am not blaming him because he must have experienced certain things to be able to hold that view but I was able to tell him that it's not just about the ladies but also about the guys. We have terrible guys too and that's a fact.

Many people would come to you in sheep clothing but they are ravaging beasts. They would have this calm demeanour and you would think you have found your Prince Charming and the mistake most ladies make is that they get swept off with the euphoria and they forget to watch out for the warning signs the guy drops from time to time. They are interested in showing off to their friends the "catch" they have, they are happy because they feel unworthy of such a person so they overlook a lot of things because they want to hold on to that person and make things work even under avoidable circumstances.

We accept the love we think we deserve and we need to understand that no one is doing you a favour by dating you, if they don't see the value they won't come and the question is what value are you offering? Most people confuse their value for beauty and if all the things you can offer come just from your body then you really don't understand what value means.

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One of my good daughters messaged me 2 days ago because she got confused as to what the guy meant when the guy said he is in a "complicated" relationship. She likes the guy and I think the guy likes her too and because I always tell everyone around me to ask their partner to define what they are to each other, she asked the guy if he is in a relationship because she didn't want to get entangled and the guy said: "It's complicated." I told her to run and not look back because that's a major heartbreak waiting to unleash.

Ladies, don't get yourself entangled unnecessarily because from the look of things this guy clearly wants to eat his cake and then have it. He is telling this girl about the other person but won't tell the other person about her because he wants to keep that other one.

Some might genuinely be in a complicated situation, no doubt but allow him to go and sort out his complications without involving you. Don't allow him to patronize you with words. After he has sorted himself out and you are still available and you still wish to have him back, then it's your choice.

There are so many people who would tell you their situation is complicated and they would hold you by that after you find them out. They would tell you they explained how tricky the situation is just to absolve themselves of the blame and the guilt leaving you going back to ground zero while they move on with the other person.

I've had and heard people use the ridiculous statement as "I don't love her, it's you that I love." Don't be fooled because the same way he is about to leave that person is the same way he would eventually leave you. Others have used lines like: "I am dating her out of courtesy. Let time pass and I would marry you instead." Or "It's a family arrangement and I want someone that I love for myself and that's you." Or "We've known each other for long so it's hard to just leave her." Or "She only trapped me with pregnancy."

They would always come up with words to keep you around while they keep a solid beside them, don't fall for it, run. Don't fall for those tricks and that's your warning shot. You deserve better and it's worth waiting for.

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

Comments

I think it's good to be matured before going into a relationship and it is good to know what you want before falling for someone. When that is done, it saves one the headache of a complicated relationship, or being stuck with someone for one selfish reason or the other

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I totally agree with you, ma. A lot of people are not matured enough and won't even define whatever relationship they are into...you are right...clearly for selfish reasons.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Leaving the reasons of why running away than staying in that situation is like giving up your self value. Girl, the moment that the guy has to choose between you and the other girl, then even that moment you are an option already.

It's so sadπŸ₯Ί

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2 years ago

That's right... No one deserves to be an option.

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2 years ago

There needs to be a balance between hopelessly romantic and being practical because that's the best way to get the most out of a relationship

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2 years ago

Exactly...but most people just tilt towards a side which can be harmful.

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2 years ago

I sincerely do not believe in making decisions out of the way we feel at the moment, so many relationships fail because of that. We see a person and instantly fall in love without considering whether this person will allow a balance in your career, academics and bla bla...

As for me it's logic over emotions all day, all things need to be terribly balanced.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

I love your logic, Kris... That's how things should be. We need to think ahead and know how other things fit into the equation. Most people just reply on their emotions without good forecast.

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2 years ago

Haha remembering your previous article made me think your topic must be related in physical activities πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. On that issue, there are times that its hard to follow what is right if it happenes you are deeply inloveπŸ˜‚. I've been in that situation though our relationship became toxic and complicated I still chose to hold on . What I can do, I was so madly inloved back then and maybe a little bit of fool tooπŸ˜‚. I was just glad I got back into my senses and I decided to run away without looking back. The nerve of him.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ I am glad you got your senses back. Some men would take advantage of that situation to drain ladies of emotions. What a nerve hahahaha

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2 years ago

Sadly it takes time before I got back into my senses Olasquare. That was my second heartbreak and I thought i wouldn't make it. But God is really good , as he gave me someone much better.

https://read.cash/@Lhes/7when-long-time-relationship-turns-into-nightmare-6a7fd234

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Wow. Really sorry about that and I would read this right away.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha its okay, I had moved on and I am happy and contented with my husband. I actually laughed when I saw him on facebook and I even asked myself why I fall inlove with himπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Hahahaha that's the funny thing. When we look back at those we killed ourselves over, we wonder what we saw in them hahaha.

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2 years ago

Hahahaha that's very true! Though he tried to reach me on Facebook last year. Then explained his side though it was almost 7yrs late. Then seems like his bragging his achievements like , he already had a house, and financially stable. And I told myself, As If I careπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Told me after that he is getting married. He just want closure from me.

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2 years ago

He is a user. He wants closure. He wants to feel good with himself. Congratulations to him on his achievements. He should save it for his wife hahaha.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Maybe he is, but is okay, as I was thinking if we end up together there might be a chance that we gonna have some financial issues. Aside from that I can't be whom am I as he was so controlling. It only saddedened me as most people who knows us thought it was my fault why we broke up. Simply because he was almost perfect into everyone's eyes. But I don"t care as long us I know within myself the truth. With that experienced , I can say, we should not lost hope if we lost our love ones. Like break ups, because I strongly believe it was God's intention as he reserve someones better. It will just lead you to correct person to be with.

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2 years ago

Absolutely. I am glad God reserved the best for you because I don't think anyone would thrive well under a controlling spouse. It would snuff the fun out of the love.

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2 years ago

I will run. Will some say it or play the music? Dang...da da da da....

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahahahaha. Please run...

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That is what I always tell some friends don't let man deceive you by telling you that is you they love while keeping another one be wise

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's so true. They need to be wise and do better.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

When I saw the title I thought it has something to do with running or marathon hahhaa but yeah it's so hard to choose a partner, sometimes they are just good in the beginning and if you get to know them you'll find yourself asking different questions.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hahaha. It's totally fine to ask questions because your emotions are on the line and when the answers doesn't go with your values, please run.

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2 years ago

I balance is needed more than anything in a relationship. Falling in love hopelessly and helplessly is very detrimental. When the heart is in control of the relationship, there will be error because emotions will always come into play.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Balance is needed... We need to be able to control the narrative and not allow ourselves get fooled.

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2 years ago

When I saw the title, I was like where do Olasquare wants us to run to? πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

You have said the truth and I am glad to read this again which I have held in my hands. We should not fall for guy's tricks because they know whom their hearts belongs to.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Hahahaha let's do marathon together na... At the end we would seal the KP thing.

That's true, most people are full of tricks and we need to watch out for them.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nice advice... I'm sure it's appreciate by most...

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thanks.

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2 years ago

Ambiguous relationship may results from being apart to each others..and the most typical situation is that the way they handled on it is intentionally creating minor changes until it results to breaking up

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2 years ago

Yes, it doesn't have to be ambiguous... Once it's getting complicated, just take the walk.

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2 years ago

Make that happen to take steps that could help you forget what pain you experience

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2 years ago

Alright.

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2 years ago

You just hit the nail on the head... We can't allow just our head or our heart to lead us in relationship matters. We must balance the two to avoid heartbreaks.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly, my brother. That balance is what makes the difference that we need.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Just as you said one must test one's friends inorder to know whether they a raving beast or a pure hearted

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is very important and to watch out for the warning signs they wouldn't say but would leave on their trail.

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2 years ago

I honestly don't know how people tolerate ambiguity In relationships

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It's shocking the kind of love most people accept.

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2 years ago

Thanks for that wonderful word, you really good as counseling young one friend

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2 years ago

Thanks.

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2 years ago