Last day, I saw ate @Yzza0625 's article about this which titled Beautiful Memories With Never Have I Ever (Valentine Edition) and other users here who doing this topic, so today I planned to join and to share whatever experienced before during my most toxic relationship.

Enjoy reading!

Never have I ever broken up with someone, but then got back together with them

• I have, I still remember when me and my 3 years ex was still on both. I used to pleased her and beg her to stay even if I looks like an idiot, and I was really an idiot. I mean, she's already downgrading me but I still choose to stay and didn't bother about what I feel. I still believe that one day she'll change but nah, she didn't even once. She's 24 or 25 already when we broke up and I was just 18 that time. She's acting like a 7yearold kid and it's really hard for me to understand her attitude.

She was the worst person that I've ever met in my whole life.

Never have I ever had my first kiss

• No, I still don't have my first kiss. I still remember when my 2nd ex were forcing me to kiss her but I said that I'm not comfortable with it. Instead of understanding what I've said, she get angry and told me that maybe someone's already touch me that's why I always refusing me. Like wtf? I told her that I'm different to the people that she met and she just scolded me.

Never have I ever had a Valentine on February 14th

• I have!, The first person who's become my valentine was the person whom I love right now. Actually, I met her at February 11, called her baby at 12, she chatted me at February 14 and asking me if I had a date. That's the time also when she asked me if we both officials and I just said yes. I was single for 2 years so maybe that time I was ready but just afraid to commit into relationship, but what can I do? She's the only person who I felt comfortable with depite of the people who wants to comfort me.

Never have I ever received flowers, chocolate or a stuffed-animal from someone who's not blood related

• I have, someone's courted me like 6 months and she kept giving me things even if I was telling her not to. She said, it was only a small things. And after 7 months she gave up, saying "I gave up, it's so hard to get your answer." Lmao, it didn't hurt my feelings. I just laughed and said, "I know you're courting someone, that's why." She was really shocked when I told her that, she ask me where did I get that news and I told her that I saw on her secret conversation saying 'I love you' to that someone.

Never have I ever been asked out

• Haha many times, someone's always asking me out before and he was the one who has a huge crush on me. Whenever he saw me inside the university, he will buy some food and give it to me. He buy sweets, flowers and also giving it to me also. To be honest, it was really awkward. Later on, I told him that I just saw him as my brother. I know he felt sad after what I've said, but I don't want him to assume that I also like him. But instead of getting angry, his treatment didn't change and what happened is I become his little sister and he kept calling me, "Bunso."

He's a nice guy the way, and he's married already.

Never have I ever broken up with someone, but then got back together with them

• I have, I've done this many times. I always telling my 3 years ex, "Let's broke up", but ended up going back together after 1-3weeks or a month. I'm just a kid back then so I'm still not aware.

Never have I ever cried over someone I liked

• I haveeee, when me and my 3 years broke up last 2016 I ended up crying and crying and crying. I also skipped class and my depression developed really bad, that's the time where my parents were so disappointed. Since I am a top student eversince elementary but when I got into highschool everything becomes a mess. I also didn't enjoy school that time, I felt miserable and I felt so much hatred. I feel tired and all I want that time is to have a rest.

Never have I ever received a love note

• I have, he or she even shout me out on my school's website. I was so ashamed that time because I don't even know if who it was. I'm jusy shocked that someone shout mw out and my classmate said that it was a perfect time for me to have someone in my life but I said no. And I commented that I'm not available.

During My Toxic Relationship.

My ex always blaming me for giving her time.

• My ex always don't have any time to talk to me, but when she's talking to her ex, or any of her friends she always had time. There are times when I ask her for her comfort because I was so stressed about my mother, but instead of understanding me she told me that I'm just over reacting and I should not react like that because I was referring to her mother. When she talked to me, she'll say, "You should be thankful because I'm still talking to you." I don't even know what's on my mind and how can I even stay to her even if she's so toxic.

She's always denying me.

• To be honest, there are no times when she was proud of me. If someone asked her if she's talking to her gf, she always answering me that I'm just her friend. Lmao, I still remember tha time when she called me and when someone asked her if who called her she just said, "Idk, it was a wrong number."

One time, she called my gf now and someone asked her also. She said, "Wala, tumawag lang." (Nothing, someone just called).

Lmao, how can she call you if you're the one who called her?

I still remember when she begged me na wag ko daw sya iwan, I just laughed out when she even threatened me that she'll end up herself if I didn't agree to her about 'comeback', I just laughed and said, "Do it, I'm not scared anymore."

She used to threatened me before and all I can do is to believe her, but sorry I already lost my patience and I can't bear to deal with her again that's why I don't listen.

Actually, she can end up herself anytime she want without saying it to me. Because I don't care if she do that.

I still remember when she said, I deserve to get hurt and she even told me that I'm not worthy. That time, I thought I'm not worthy to be loved because of her actions and words. Everything becomes toxic, she downgraded me 24/7 and even insulted my dignity.

My Healthy Relationship Experience.

She makes me feel that I'm worthy, I'm lovable, that I'm enough, that I'm more than that, that I deserve anything.

• You know, eversince I meet her, I felt like faith is betraying me. Like, I'm from failed relationship then she's gonna come to my life and will show me what love is? I'm not even sure about my life. She's the one who change everything, I even asked her if what I deserve but she kept telling me that I don't need to ask myself because even if she can't explain that, but still she can feel and see what she really wants on me. That why she can't cheat, because she said she already found what she wants.

Actually, I have so many questions what did she see to me. She's not answering any of that question but instead she makes me feel that I am lovable and I am worth of anything and everything. All I can say is, sa sobrang healthy ng relationship natin duda tuloy ako sa sarili ko HAHAHAAHAH.

But this healthy relationship, you makes me feel that I'm really Enough. I'm thankful about that, and I am so thankful that I met you also. I love you! See you next month. I can't say no more, u already know how much I love u.

Author's Note

I wanna say thankyou to @Mictorrani and @Jher0122 for renewing their sponsorships, also for those who were sponsoring me, thankyou so much!

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