A Question Diary: Are You Honest With Your Answers?

Good day everyone! So today I'm going to answer another, "Question Diary.", So how's your life everyone?

So there so many users who tagged me regarding to my first post about this one. Today let's make an another round.

Note: Please be honest answering this question. Answer them regarding on what you really feel.

What is the scariest dream you have ever had?

• It's when I found myself dying with my own two eyes.

Okay so let me tell you a story, this one happened before I undergo operation. I just undergo to it because my baby told me so, she's the one who change my mind and pursue me to have a check-ups, so before that I dreamed about myself.

This dream is the most scariest dream that I've ever experienced, because I saw myself having a last breath while in the hospital with a lot of people surrounds me. My mother was crying, saying sorry about what she did and say, she said she regretted the fact that she's not being a good mother when I'm still alive.

The second one is my baby, because she's at Baguio and I'm in Iloilo, I saw her crying all over the time and kept chatting and updating me. There are times where I saw her calling me even if she knew that I'll not going to answer that because I'm gone. She kept saying, "I miss you." And sometimes she's already Falling asleep while crying.

When I woke up, I saw her peacefully sleeping via VC and I can't help it but to cry while looking at her.

When I know that I'm going to leave this world, I'll set everyone free first.

What is a mistake people often make about you?

• About being snobby. Lololol, I'm not smiling when I'm on the ouside, even the people who greeting me a good morning or etc. Sometimes I'm smilyto them but most of the time I'm just looking to their eyes and just not greeting them back.

But the most important matter is, they always said that I have my own world and snobbish without knowing that I am friendly and I love being around with people but I'm just shy to say or utter a world. I prefer being quiet when I'm on the side where there's too many people and a few people around me.

Brothers and sisters, I am a friendly person okay? It's just that I'm shy when it comes to other people so I'm sorry xd.

How can you love yourself more?

• I'm not sure how to answer this question, but how can I love myself more? It's not quite a while since I start giving myself an importance, I mean it I don't know how I give importance to myself. All matters I have were trying to love me even more.

If I love myself, then I love myself. I just starting loving myself a while ago and it's not that long since I'm not giving importance about me anymore. When I'm talking to myself, I know selflove is a must but the only question that are on my mind is, "How and why?," So it was always on my mind and nothing more.

What is the biggest secret you have kept from your parents?

• That i regret being their daughter.

I know that we have no choice to choose who were want to be our family, or what kind of family do we like. We can't choose our life, we can't choose something that is not according to our life purposes. The only reason why I say this it's because I'm struggling already when I'm with them. Whenever that I'm talking to them, I can feel how I hate my life, how I hate being born, how I hate being in this world.

I know it has nothing to do with me anymore, their past I mean. But they kept persisting that their past is connected to me. As their daughter, I'm not allowed to say what I feel, to say what I want because for them it's a lack of being respectful.

I know respectful is not demanded, it's a choices between the person what that person deserves it or not, but for them as long as their are the older, as long as you are the youngest, you need to respect them like how they think you will respect them. Or else, they will going to get angry and they will going to scold you and they will going to compare you to others.

That's how my family works. Downgrading to them is a must, even if you're their child, or not.

How do you feel about this last week/month/year?

• Everything's good because they know that I'm going away. They were acting like a real parents because I'm already not here and they knew that when the march stepped in, they will start counting the days where I am about to go out where am I now.

The only question for me is, it's quite strange. I mean, they're not acting like that when I'm staying here for a long time. Only now when they knew that I'm going away, what's the deal?

The questions on my mind is, "What is their deal?.", Why are they acting like they do care but when I'm not going anywhere they were acting kike I'm their financial needs. What is going on? Everything seems to be mysterious for me.

Final thoughts

Is someone experience to shiever all of sudden because you feel anxious? Or it's just my anxiety? My stomach were hurting and both of my hands and feet are also cold.

Plus, my dysmenorrhea is bad. I've been suffering from this for like 3days now huhu.

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