How does it feel to have a father? I can't feel it anymore because my father is gone, he left us. What I mean by 'he left us' is he's not existing anymore. He died when I was in grade 9. He also missed many milestones in my life;
He missed my moving up that took place when I was in grade 10. It was one of the biggest milestones of my life since it was my second graduation. I also received the With Honors Award when I was in grade 10 and it was also one of the ones he missed. We actually talked before that he would have hung my medal on my neck when I graduated because my mother always does it but unfortunately he didn't even get it. We struggled to get up from this bad dream and stand up with new roles.
He also missed me, fulfilling one of his dreams of becoming a full-fledged artist. He found out that I became famous in our school before because we were joining and competing for mural painting at divisional and regional level back then but he never found out that I could finish Junior High School under the Special Program in the Arts curriculum and with a Major of Visual Arts. This means I am graduated as a full-fledged Visual Artist. He also missed my teaching-arts skills to my juniors which turned out well because they are better than me now. He also missed some of the big competitions I participated in that I won with my own style and ideas. I know my father would be happier if he could achieve this with me.
He also missed some of my requests for advice about love. It has become normal in our family to joke about this thing. I remember then they joked with me that I had a girlfriend but I was still in elementary school then. If he is still existing until now, I am ready to tell stories and ask for advice about aging and adulting because I know I can learn a lot from what he went through in life.
Just last June 4, we visited his grave because this is the day he lived in our world. He will also be out of the world we live in for three years. He hasn't bothered us for 3 years. And we will remember him for many more years.
When we went to his grave, my youngest sister immediately greeted his grave as if he had reached my father. Honestly, he didn’t catch it because he was still in my mother’s womb when my father died; my relatives still think that my younger sister is father's in return thing but they only think about it. I won’t say how and what he died because every time I recount it I remember how much we panicked and how much we did during those times. As we commemorate his birthday, it also serves as a reminder of all the happy, sad, heavy, and intense experiences we had with him. We don’t have to visit him or say hello every day because he is gone but we will never forget him as we always do and we will never get tired of doing that thing. Again, belated Happy Birthday, my Idol. We missed you so much.
Closing Thoughts
With each passing day on the calendar, the day we feel the loss of a father also increases. In the new life I have now I just wish he was here because I can do a lot of help now because I also wanted to give him a gift but I can’t do it anymore; the benefits and blessings that cryptocurrency gave me. We accept that we will never be with him again but we will never forget that there was a Roger who became my father who lived in this world and I was with him on a few pages of my book. Although I won't be able to include him in the next pages of my books, I will be able to mention him until I get to the point where I also have a child and creates new books that will make their own stories. Remembering him is remembering the memories we made together.
You can read my previous articles:
I Can Feel the Hardships, But I Can’t Give Up.
I'm On My Way To College Life.
Finally, I Was About To See The End.
My Goals and Wishes for the month of May and my Achievements in April.
Flowers and Photography: Some of my Best Shots for this Month.
Just Keep Going Even if it’s Hard.
My Goals And Wishes For The Month Of June.
I am 10000% that your father is so proud of you ☺️❤️. Yakap