My mind is working but my body is not moving.
That day I am lack of sleep because yesterday I finished school activities and sleep already at midnight. In the afternoon of that day, I got to fight with my father and household chores is waving at me. I was so stressed at that time and I don't know what will I do first. I am confused stressed and hopeless to finish the task that I have. I just want to cry and sleep. I even think about giving up because I in too suffocated with many tasks to be done.
I went upstairs to ready my workplace to finish my other school activities. I don't know if I am the only one who feels it because sometimes I am more comfy reading while lying down than sitting. So I decided to lie down and read my school activities. Since I am lack of sleep that day I ended up taking asleep.
I'm sleeping peacefully until I got a dream. In my dream, it is like the real world. But I feel a little scared I don't remember it accurately but as far as I remember it is a happy dream but in the end a scary dream. In that dream, I am just watching people and hearing them (parang magkakapitbahay na nagkukuwentuhan). It lasts for an hour and my mind suddenly think about my real life. I can hear my parents talking to each other. I can feel the couch. I can feel the wind. But the problem is I can't move. I just notice it when I tried to move my feet and talk because I feel like someone is asking me. I want to answer the people who are asking me but I can't. I can't talk I want to shout but my tongue and lips don't move. I want to stand but I can't move my body. I want to move my feet but I can't. I want to move my hands to slap my face to wake up but I can't. I already did all the conclusions I have but I can't still move. You know the feeling you are being stuck on the couch. It is like someone put a lock on your body. I started to feel scared and ask many questions in my mind. I ask my mind that I am dead? But why I can still hear them? Why can I still feel the air? Why can I still feel the couch? It is like my soul is still alive but my body is dead, am I dead or alive?
I tried my best to move, I even cried in the fear that maybe I cant wake up. I even beg for HELP! but no one hears me because I can't shout. Only my mind can hear it. I want to move my head but I can't. I am now trembling in fear and I can feel tears flowing on my face. But I never give up I still tried to move my body. I tried to talk and shout. I didn't think about the word hopeless all I think is I need to wake up. I need to wake up because I cant still say goodbye to my family I don't want them to be sad.
Then suddenly my eyes opened, my feeling is like I saw a dead person. My heartbeat is fast, I am covered with sweat, and tears are flowing on my face. I thought I was already dead. I thought I will never wake up again. I cooled down and wake my body and soul. Now I can move my body, I can talk and shout, I can even wipe my tears and sweat. Thank God
I am late to read ththiththis although na curious na ako pagkabasa ko ng title days ago. i can relate with you. Maybe it was depression, anxiety, stress and or overthinking at once. I even had mild insomnia dati and even now di pa din siya nawawala. Back in manila I have experienced that as well. More than thrice. And If i am right, sunod sunod na araw yun. I thought I was already dying e. Tapos ang bigat ng mga mata/talukap ko. I was all alone that time. hindi ako makagalaw nor magmulat ng mata kasi feeling na pagod na pagod na pagod na buong katawan mo? i tried to speak pero wala e. as in zero percent di ako makagalaw.I thought I'd die that time. And i knew for sure i wasn't alone. Kaya natakot ako. I tried to open my eyes pero kusang sumasara na parang ambigat. Maybe it was sleep paralysis. Nung time na natakot na ako ng sobra and may narinig akong mga sigaw talagang tumindig mga balahibo ko, don na ako nakagalaw. Ang weird. lalo pa't ilang beses yun. ngayon, hindi na naulit pa. sana hindi na maulit pa.
(i think this is my longest cocomcocommcocomcocommecocomcocommcocomcocommebcocomcocommcocomcocommecocomcocommcocomcocomment so. Far)