Simple house but Meaningful

Year 2010 when our Family transfered in our Grandparents house. That time, I was sad because our Grandparents doesn't want us to stay in this house. I already told you a lot of time already if what are the reasons why. But then, since there are a lot of users now who's reading this blog, I will tell the reason again.

The reason why my Mom's Family doesn't want us to be here, is because of my Father. But before we will stay here with my Father, Me and Sister stay here first because my Mom and my Father travel to Valenzuela because they accepted the offer of my Father's family. My Mom wanted to work there so that they can afford the things that we needed. But because I am still young that time, I wanted to go there too so during the vacation days when I was still Grade 5 and turning to be Grade 6 student, I decided to travel with them and go to Valenzuela because I don't like missing my Mom. I also studied there for the first Grading period experiencing the life of being a student in The City. Waking up early in the morning because their class starts at 4 am and then, Unlike here at our Province we have class during afternoon but in the city, they are Half days and Oh, my life there is just okay because I have a friend and that is my Father's cousin Daughter. She is kind and she always taught me alot of things esp. About social media. I don't know about Facebook back then and she is also the one who created my old Fb account before. But my Parents decided that I should continue study here because it is better than in the City. There are a lot of adjustments and I am still young before.

You know what? When I was here, I am so very sad. Because they didn't take care of our Dog, Her name is Moshiking. I don't know why I named that to her but because of the Anime that I have watched before. I thought that they will feed her, i have trust to my Grandma who is staying here but then, that is just the only thought because I was busy to the school and I can't feed her. I didn't even realized that she was already thin and malnurished back then not until one day, she passed away. Her name, if how she looks like before... i never forgot about her until now. I was so pissed before to myself because I feel like, I'm worthless as a Furmom and I am sorry for her because she experienced that. If ever, my Family didn't became like that for sure she is still alive until I became high school.

In the year 2013, My Mom fixed our old house. She's working abroad already. Our Old house before became better because of my Mom's hard work.

We already have window glass, the walls and my Cabinet was made with plywoods and Bolo and the half of the wall below was hallowblocks, and the floor was cement with floormats. We already have proper lights and we can able to have a food stocks. We already lived there as our father came back from Valenzuela after my Mom goes abroad. Our life was became better. My Father has his own motorcycle too to use as a vehicle to deliver us from the school because my Sister is University student that time and I am second year High School already.

But then, an Unexpected happened again and that is I need to lived to my Grandparents house again I'm Third year High school that time because my Sister needs to stay at her dorm and my Father found Job too. Another thing happened is, my Father started to have an affair because of his Friends and that is the start why I started to live here for how many years already. But before that , Back then, I have a dog. He is very Healthy and his name is Mosh-Mosh. He became my Friend, my bestfriend, my companion, and I treat him as my own Brother. Because I was shy before when I used to lived alone when everyone was busy. That dog was my bestfriend's gift to me. But I can't be with him because of this family. They didn't like me to have a dog here. I still remember how I cried when I told him to go back to our House but I can't bare to look at him walking alone so I need to accompany him to go back to our house but my Father never come back at that house and choose to be with his mistress so I need to take him to our cousin's house i told them that I will get him again soon. It's hurts that time saying Goodbye to him but I can't do anything because I'm still a kid. If only... if only I know how to take care of my Own that time, I will stay alone at that kind of house with him rather than staying here.

After Months past, When my Mom go back home before when I was Fourth year High School, I decided to get back my Dog. But my Cousin said, that my Dog was died because he eats something bad. I am so hurt and crying a lot for a whole week after knowing that. Again, I blamed my self why he experienced that. He even never felt of being me beside him before he lost his last breath.

A/N: I am crying hard while typing these words right now. It is hard for me but I wanted to include them to the story because I considered them as my own family too. They are so very important to my life.

Why I am telling you this? Because yesterday, I have a chance of going to our cousin's house because their house is just near to our abandoned house. I supposed to go there with my Grandpa because he have an errand there but because of me, busy typing for my article yesterday, he forgot to call me and he go there on his own. But then my Grandma asked me if I can also go to our cousin's house because my sister and his boyfriend will go there. Our cousin and my Sister is bestfriend so our cousin asked for help to my Sister to sell her pre-loved clothes.

To be honest, Writing an article yesterday was became an excuse because I am still hesitating if I can able to go there again. For how many years past, I don't know or I don't remember when is the last time that I visited our abandoned house. Because the memories is still fresh on my mind. Everytime that i need to passed to the old barangay where I wss lived since when I was still a kid, I always closed my eyes. Because i don't like to feel hurt, i don't like to feel sad, I don't like to remember anything again.

I remember back when I was still senior high school, the house became our Hide out with my friends and that is only an excuse so that I have someone to accompany me when I missed my Family. Sitting in the chair, going in and out of our house and lay to my old bed with a lot of dust. My Trophies, sash, and medals since when I was still a kid until high school from the competation in the school about Arts are still hangging to the wall. I remember crying in front of my friends and I was drunk before and i keep saying, I miss my Mom, I miss my Father, I miss my Sister. How can I forget about that? I even cried in front of my Grandmother because it's my first time drinking a lot. I became a rebel daughter because I don't like to remember everything about that past.

But then, I decided to go there with them but I can't go to the house because I would like to see how our old house and the land looks like after many years of not visiting it. But I didn't able to do it because I don't like to cry again. I don't like to remember the things that I don't like to remember anymore.

I managed to smile to the old and familiar people who became part of my childhood life esp. The elders who take care of me that time. Not to brag, but I was loved by many people since when I was still a Kid. They keep asking me, 'How are you?', 'When will your Mom go back home?' And they also managed to flutter me with words saying 'You still look beautiful' At least, they made me laughed a little because of that. They know how hard for me to lived experiencing having a broken family and I know that every people I saw there, they looked sad because of it. But I managed to tell and show to them that I was fine. I'm okay. No need to worry because I guess, everything happened for a reason.

I never thought that we will become like this. Because, we are happy before. My Parents are problematic to money but they still keep showing to us that it was fine and it never became a reason for us to stop being happy Family. But because of my Father's desire everything became blank like boom!

But like I said before, I'm still happy because my father choose his Mistress over us. Because our life before is so hard and hard. When my Mom works abroad, he is become workaholic there is also a time that I was starving and he didn't go back home early but still, in the morning, I forgive him for being like that. But he never changed so the decision of Living with my Grandparents made by Mom, I can say that it's the right thing that she made. Because look at my life right now. Even if we have a lot of misunderstandings and fight every single thing here, I am still happy because I am in the right and better place.

Final thoughts...

Last night, I was crying silently until I fall asleep. That's also the reason why, I didn't managed to read your articles. You know what? My advices for your Family, Please take care of your Family. Before thinking of having an affair, please think or consider about your Child life and feelings first. Having no parents for a long time is tough esp. If your child is still young. Choosing about your own Happiness rather than your child future make us hurt and we will carry a lot of hard weights to our shoulders while we are growing.

I may be look like I was fine and strong, but I am still a kid longing for my Father and Mother by my side. Everything that happened, I still consider it as a Nightmare and hoping that it is only a dream and everytime when I look at the mirror, I still look to myself being the girl who was abandoned in that Land.

I hope that you are not crying while reading this. Even tough, I can't deny that I am crying while typing those. But if you are crying after reading this, Please wipe your tears and I am sorry for making you cry. I don't want to published another drama about my life but I needed to let out all of my saddest thoughts because of what happened yesterday. I'm sorry.

My Previous articles:

Now, I was called selfish

About what I experienced in writing stories

Let's think of a way to make money

After Months: Are you still active?

Why do I feel, I am late?