The past memories is a series of the moment in my life that I just want to ignore, But Lost and Forgotten memories had huge different, I hate my mind for I still hear your voice in my head the first time you whispers in my ear the word that you promised to do, the smell of the sweet aroma that made as ecstasy to my heart to grim the promised of forever. I really hate the way I remember your smile, that kills me badly. The smile that cant’ performs well in the report presentation kills me while you teasing me.
The innocent of your smile makes me more eager to know more about you that time, what’s with that smell anyways it’s the first time I smell that aroma. No, I don’t really on the fragrance of any flower for I hate strong perfume I said, That’s why you can’t smell any perfume in my body, just the pubric-conditioner from my roommate for its rain last night and we don’t have mechanical driers in the dormitory.
Your voice is still fresh in my ears, do you remember what if and what does? Aren’t this just a mistake?
Perfect and complete my love, which was you. You feared the ghost that they say roaming in our dorm yet still you come and visit someone, which hurt me for I wasn’t that one but its fine and maybe that’s the thing that makes me more closed in your smile for me in the dorm, where we first met. You ask for someone’s room and I was shocked because I don’t wear my top. You laughed at me but I know secretly you looked at my room, what had you seen? How messy thing inside? How the bed is still and not folded? How my messy papers and books from the floor?.
What was that you really scared of the most? Those sounds of frogs at the rice field near your rented room during rainy nights, those men who smoked, those people who borrowed things that didn’t return back? Oww, I remembered now, You feared the disappointment of your family. You are afraid that you will a disgrace in the face of your brother, your afraid that your neighbours will whisper something bad about you and someone will believe you right?.
I know how chaotic your life is once I called you through the phone and hear those words I don’t understand yet the sound voice is too much tragic and gears your uncomfortable momentum. I thought what my friends tell about you was a lie, and then you proved that was true. Unfortunate that you have been in a place like that. How to be a night shining armour? If I don’t know how to hold a shored? How to battle between your heirlooms? I don’t know.
Do you still remember the first day? You are shy and can’t even speak. My only regret was I don’t give what you deserved, the time that you smiled at me yet you hit me. Amazona is that you are? I still remember the goodbye of that day, you hold me at the public place, I ask why? You just smile and shut me up, how did you do that?
How come you hate the person I hated? Loved and value those I did? How do you think of something like that? The image I presented wasn’t that picture of the perfect couple, the time and place weren’t perfect but you are shown the contentment in your eyes. I liked that; I liked the way you are.
Do you still play the music I said my favourite? The melody and thyme with the great meaning between the two hearts that gives the battle of love?. I never looked for other music to love. Who was the first will be the last? I remember the feeling of hearing that music using only one earphone, the left was on me and the right was onto you, for once I confessed you are the right.
Still, crying? I know I gave you the hardest cry you never yet encountered in your life, I remember when you say the most hurtful memories that made you cried, the night your Dad talked to you, and convince you to promised him that you will reach your dreams he said, I am proud of you that you can now feel the promised of your first man that you loved, the man that also made you cried for he is gone in a short span. You never seen me crying, I remembered you called me cold-hearted? Am I? Should I just fake the tears in my eyes? But your wrong I says in myself I will only cry to someone that more deserved to be cried off. And it was you.
Should I have to go back to the time that memories are still fresh? Should I be in the path of yesterday to taste again what is loved, to feel again the embrace once somebody offered? To be in the place of the warm heart that accepted what is lacking and what is weakened.
I realized the huge difference between the forgotten and lost memories, the nostalgia of yesterday because of you, the creation of hated drama, the unending battle that I always win, for I saw what was weaker in you, yet I still blind from what I have just seen rather than what is present and future in my front of the sight. Lost memories are those pictures of yesterdays that I am willing to look back and those forgotten memories are those faded events that I chose and choices to burn and dig out in the grave. Am I ready to just labelled the forgotten memories to lost one?. But the thing for sure the hundreds of sorry from you was been forgiven a long time ago.
THIS WAS A FICTION SORT OFF HAHA
Thiugh its completely fiction, it completely got me thinking. I had to pause somewhere between to think about it. It's a little bit of a sad story but I completely enjoyed it.