01/04/2022
I have seen how the sky looks like at night. Alone. How the stars shined the most, at the deepest of the night. Whenever I got nothing else to do, I count all of 'em. The most I got is ninety-seven.
Ain't it nice though, to stare at the vast darkness above? It's thrilling to think how those sparkling things continue to blink like that, despite them being light years away. I saw them on shades of red, orange, even blue. Most of the times, I saw them.. just white.
That's how I see them these days. All white, and grey. They still glitter, though. It's getting boring here now. I want some company.
Now, I wonder how I can bring you here. Can you come up and accompany me here? I feel alone. The blanket of the night sky is not enough to entertain me now. There is some longing in my heart that only a presence can fill. I think that's you.
I promised myself I won't look back. The skies even helped me. It rained a lot, so strong that the winds are enough to block the view of the mountains and seas. The raindrops did the job of clearing the lands from memories of the past sceneries I think we both created. I am not sure. I don't remember much anymore.
I have stayed here for lots of centuries already, and the memories I have are now as faint as the voices of the birds to me.
For once, I want to step down and just fall free, and let the wind bring me somewhere far from here. I want to see new things, or at least, remember them again. I already forgot how violets look, nor the purples and pinks, yellows, and peaches. How does a rose look like, again?
Alas, I don't have wings. Nor the courage to move. The desire is as strong as the fears and worries combined. I am thrilled, I am longing, I am scared. Tears are strangers to me, as I forgot how to even shed them.
I remember putting a stop to time to steal some flower remains from an eagle who happened to pass by. Is that a sunflower? I am sure the petals were yellow. There were only petals, and I did my best to keep them. Yet, they dried, like how things are supposed to be—temporary.
I wish I am temporary, too. Like.. you know, I can end. I want this to be done with, this life. If what I have is even called that.
I loved singing. Not now, for no one's there to listen now, anyway. Let me just ask, what's your name? Maybe I used to know it.
I did not realize the sun has risen already. For some reason, the day is clear. It's not hazy. Now, I could see the browns of the fields below. Are those mountains? Those big and small bumps that became a darker and thicker shade of green after the rain? Oh, those must be oceans—they shimmer everytime light kisses their surface. How does it feel to be walking on lakes again, on waters, or brushing my hands against the raging river?
A vague memory played on my mind. Like an old clip that was able to endure centuries of being forbidden. I saw a thick and warm collection of grass, from where I lied down. There are fruits picked from various trees in the woods, along with water bottles to keep me hydrated.
The night was both cold and warm. I was lying down, and staring at the black canvass laid along the boundless atmosphere. I saw the Big Dipper, and the Small one. I smiled the most genuine there. The very last time I did.
It was warm because I was lying on your chest. You were humming a song, a familiar tune to which the birds of the night loved singing along with. My home sparkled a lot that very night, yet it did not outshine your eyes. I was hard to distunguish your eyes and the stars. Maybe those things were originally from the galaxy.
My home is the moon now. At the same time, a prison. The sun is too far to jump to. And I don't feel its warmth anymore. I get startled with the rains no more, nor get chills when it snows. It's always the same gloomy feel, everyday, every night. Every single one of them.
When I asked the skies to wipe those memories, I guess it felt pity so it left me with this one piece of scene to look back when my mind becomes empty.
At that very blank spot in my memory, a vague mirage of you lies. Something I want to explore and make clear. I want to see your face completely. I only know those eyes, yet I can't imagine how they may turn into crescents when you smile. You must have a beautiful smile.
If I would have a chance for a next life, will I be born as a different person? I hope I would not be Alice anymore. I can be anyone, as long as I would be destined to meet you again.
In this life, you're meant to be below. And I am meant to watch you from above. In this life, you are not forever, yet I am. We are from different worlds, and we could not save whatever it is we had. We could not make it work.
That's why I am here now, letting the time pass, seeing the same view everyday, getting sick of this life, wanting to end everything. I wonder about you, when you may have perished, have you become one of the stars? Are you that one big and outstanding star I see once in a month? The one that aligns with the moon when it smiles? If so, please let me know. So I could hold you, even just for a brief moment. For the brief moment, tell me your name. Help me remember those things I forced myself to forget.
Hello there!
Let me start this outro first with this. I know how you feel. Same. I also don't know what's with me when I started writing this one. I can be really messy, and this is a proof of that.
Yes, freewriting, that's what I did tonight. I just fell inlove with the sight of the moon and I let my hands type words while I am enjoying a lemon drink. So I understand if I read back again, and see how the train of thoughts are so chaotic LOL.
Anyway, for some reason, I thought of Alice while looking at the moon. And somehow, made some fictional story revolving around Alice who lives in the moon. Something like that.
So, I apologize if this ain't your cup of tea. I still want to publish something tonight, and this freewrite blog is what I was able yo come up with. I still am thankful if you are able to come to this point. Sending virtual hugs of gratitude right now!
I am now curious about this one. What's that story left behind by Alice in this particular fictional blog? How did that story end, that Alice and someone, (apparently, "you") have separated? I am thinking if I should write something about it, or just end it like this. I don't know if I'll get in the mood again Lol.
Until next time!
Did you like this article? Show some love! Please consider leaving a like, upvote and subscribe for more contents. A share would also be fabulous. ❤️
Thanks a lot for reading! And also... ehem! Thanks in advance for considering to sponsor me. 😉 I will do my best to not disappoint you.
Start worthwhile journeys:
❄️ Read Next!
To GOD be the glory.
Lead Image from Unsplash
Don't worry we are all temporary in this world..one day everything will be forgotten