Self-esteem. (1)

Avatar for Ellawrites
2 years ago

Self-esteem refers to the overall opinion of yourself and how you feel about your abilities and limitations.

Wikipedia

Self-esteem, simply put, refers to the level of confidence you have in yourself, the general sense of your self worth or value.

A person's favorable or unfavorable attitude towards themselves.

Morris Rosenberg

Self-esteem can be influenced by different factors such as genetics, thoughts, age, health, reactions gotten from others, but basically: "comparing self to others."

Just as we have factors influencing self-esteem, we also have three basic types of self-esteem, which are:

  • Low self-esteem.

  • High self-esteem.

  • Inflated self-esteem.

All of these self-esteem's listed above are quite common in our day to day living. Let's delve into its divers explanations, starting from the first.

Low self-esteem: This is quite common in the world today, various people feeling bad about themselves for one reason or the other. Low self-esteem simply means having little or no confidence in yourself.

  • Not believing in yourself, your value,

  • feeling intimidated by the successes of others.

  • Feeling so bad about yourself or your appearance.

  • Not trusting in your abilities, talents or what you can do.

People who have low self-esteem are prone to always trying to please others even at their own expense, they have the tendency of not being able to resist or maintain their ground by saying "no" to things they are not pleased with. They think of others before thinking of themselves, not mincing words: "they love others, more than they love themselves."

They always feel intimidated and keep agitating themselves with demeaning questions.

Am I good enough? Isn't my butt too small? Why do I have chubby cheeks? Oh! My tummy isn't flat, would they pick me? Is it good enough? My words are meaningless, why is there so much pimples on my face? Maybe I should go for an enlargement!. Oh! I feel so terrible, does my breath stink? Why did she leave her seat?, do I have body odour?...

Someone with low self-esteem is hardly ever outspoken. They are timid kinds of people because they fear that their opinions won't matter, they are scared of being laughed at, so they never try speaking up.

I'm among this type, I won't deny it, maybe that's the reason why I have so much to say about it.

Comparison is one of the greatest factors that affects the esteem of a person.

  • Comparing one sibling to another.

  • Comparing your child to another person's child.

  • Comparing the level of intelligence your child has to the level of intelligence of a different party.

  • Comparing yourself to another person (this is not a source of motivation in anyway). There's a difference between:

Esther did it so well, I definitely should be able to do it if I study much more

And

Oh! Esther has done it again, and I'm just here, failing over and over again.

Did you note the difference? The former is quite motivational, while the latter is a complete and toxic comparison.

Low self-esteem is really harmful to one's health, and could also lead someone into anxiety and depression, it could even lead the person into doing things that are way overboard. It could also lead one into commiting suicide.

Ways of overcoming low self-esteem.

  • Start affirming positive words.

  • Start saying pleasant things to yourself.

  • Surround yourself with people that would feed your ears with encouraging words.

  • Slowly desist from people of negative minds.

  • Close your eyes to those depressing things you see on the media, close your ears to those depressing things you hear from people, places and the media, close your mouths to negatively and open the door for only positivity.

  • Create a timetable to say different lovely words to yourself every morning and before you sleep.

  • Learn to say no...

No, to things you're not okay with.

No, to people's negative opinions.

No, to your own negative opinions about yourself.

No, to anything that stands against your happiness and fulfilment.

I would have written on the other types of self-esteem's, but this is lengthy enough. I'd pick up from this in my tomorrow's article.

Thanks dearest readers, feel free to air your views as regards the chosen topic.

Till we meet again in my next article and in yours.

Thanks for reading.

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2 years ago
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Comments

Amazing content. It made me even more stronger

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Moving away from people with negative minds really works wonders

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly dear, it does work wonders indeed.

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2 years ago

Great article, and I personally believe in daily affirmations.

To add to this article, I'd say that in fact sometimes persons with a low self esteem are quite outspoken and can be loud and abrasive and it's all a façade to hide how they really feel inside. Parents play such an important role here, I think in being that positive voice of affirmation in the lives of their children, because the are the first lenses through which children see themselves. If a parent is overly critical, a child can think he or she is not good enough and then we can see that manifesting on either side of the spectrum- as a timid, withdrawn child or in a child who becomes a bully. Just some quick thoughts.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

This contribution of yours was just so captivating or rather I say; inspiring. Honestly speaking, you're definitely right. So true. People with low self-esteem could sometimes be harsh and yeah, I can boldly nod in the affirmative to what you said about parent's contribution to a child's low self-esteem.

Trifecta, I'm awed, thanks for this great contribution of yours.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thank you very much Ellawrites, I truly enjoy reading your work and your insight.

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2 years ago

Which one do you fall under? Low, high or inflated self esteem???, even though I know the answer I want you to deceive yourself by choosing something else lool.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Lol, definitely the low self-esteem, el

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2 years ago

And here I thought you'd indulge me playing my game, Anyhoo its all good 😉

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2 years ago

When I was in secondary school, I used to feel this low self esteem because I saw myself totally different from others. I'm very fair and slim and you know what that is in the midst of bullies. Lol. But now, I see myself totally, find my skin glittering & charming. Low self esteem is seeing yourself as a failure, and to counter it, change your thought and see how the magic works. It's same body

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank goodness, you've overcommed. Low self-esteem is just what you've painted of it. Exactly! Kay... Let's change our thoughts and see how it works

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2 years ago

I can say that I have low esteem based on those above.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ouch, I do have it too... I guess we have alot of work to do; to shield us off our "low self-esteem"

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2 years ago

The first question after getting exams results is not what is your score or comparison to the previous score at previous exams, is what is the score of your friends at exams that let you not self-confident especially if there are people having better marks than you.

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2 years ago

Yes amani, you're right... We should learn to appreciate the successes of others and not be bothered it might affect ours.

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2 years ago

Then, at the early stage of life, i used to experience low self-esteem, I didn't believe in myself, and i didn't like my outlook, because i was somehow lanky, i always wished i was fat. But thanks to my mum who started encouraging me and help me restored my self-esteem.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Oh! Thank God for Mummy Ayo, parents indeed play a great role in building up their child's self-esteem. Lol, all these words.. I must tender my appreciation to you; for I've learnt a new word today: "lanky."

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2 years ago

After reading your article I got goosebumps over my skin which signed that I have my self esteem but due to negative circumstances I lost that somehow. Usually when someone insults me and put bad finger toward me. Without responding them properly I let them go and let them think whatever they want to do.

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2 years ago

Bibijani, try to gain back your self-esteem... And yes, your decision is actually accurate, just leave them be, and forge on ahead. Nobody has the right to hurt you except you allow it.

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2 years ago

To overcome low self esteem we have to be scarce I mean I move out of place where people value one less. One can overcome low self esteem with all you’ve listed.

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2 years ago

Allboy, wow! Thanks for airing your view on this... We indeed have to be scarce.

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2 years ago

I believe low self-esteem is a serious mental condition and it's quite widespread among the youth population. Low self-esteem kinda kill dreams and makes one continue to remain under the shadows instead of shinning bright like their peers... Until we respect ourselves no one would respect us. Others would definitely see one the way one sees himself/herself .... " never compromise yourself, you are all that you have got".

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2 years ago

🥺 thanks for this, Bilqees... You're actually advising me. You're right qees, never compromise yourself.

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2 years ago

I don't know why people have low self esteem, I know of someone with a very very low self esteem, she always look down on her self, she was asked to sing, and she said, she shouldn't be singing when there are others better then her in the rehearsal, she always put herself last

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2 years ago

Aaaah, Fash... I also have low self-esteem... Awwwwwn, the story of that girl you know; is like a replica of me.

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2 years ago

😅😅, that girl is my girl.. You guys should try and stand out sometimes ok

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2 years ago