Give more, expect less.
To give, means to:
freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone).
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It's no news that most people fall into depression and become subjected to pain, because they expected too much from people, especially from those people they have once given to
Life isn't fair.
It's actually better for one to help with one's goodwill and not because one expects the "love or helping hand" one stretched out, to be reciprocated later on.
When you help people selflessly, there comes a sense of goodness in your mind and heart.
Worry less about people who only remember you when they need you, but don't quote me wrong... By not worrying about them, doesn't mean you should subject yourself to emotional foolishness, putting their needs before yours and making their needs your priorities even when you have other pressing needs.
We should learn this:
Life isn't fair, you won't always get what you give, so it's best to be on the safer side by expecting less from people
The world needs more of good people.
For a happy and contented life, it's better to give more and expect less, so when you don't get anything in return, your heart would still maintain its peace and sanity.
I don't know if it's just me, but I noticed this...
When you give freely; without expecting anything, more actually comes to you, either from the person you gave to, or perhaps from another source entirely.
Those who give freely would always receive.
I've heard so many stories of people who gave to others and ended up getting either double or triple of what they actually gave out.
When you put a tag on what you gave out; expecting a reciprocation from the other party, you subject your mind to an unwarranted pain and sadness, it's then you'll hear this phrase: "after all I did for him, after all I did for her, and I gave them; even till the last Penny I had, but what did I get in return? Betrayal!, (S)he couldn't even lift a finger to help me in my difficult moments."
And then you start feeling bad of yourself, well I can't blame you for feeling that way, but I'll blame you for expecting the same energy from the person you gave to.
The only limitation there should be on ‘giving’ is the point where you feel like you are emotionally drained and being taken advantage of.
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
When giving to an individual, it should come out genuinely and not from the idea that something would be gotten out of it. Expecting from an individual would build resentment which would grow from disappointment.
This was in the early months; 2021
For the first time ever since my birth, I lived with a family of five:"The father, mother, a daughter and two sons."
This family had a school, and from that school, they got some scholars whose houses were quite far away; to live with them.
In their words, they wanted those scholars to stay in their house, so they could keep track on these scholars academic performances especially since the parents of these scholars were hardly ever around.
When the parents heard their proposal, they were more than willing to allow their children stay with this family.
So yeah, apart from the family in question plus myself, we had "little Enoch with his brother Isreal" and we also had "little Grace" from an entirely different family living with us. Now this made us "nine" in the house.
The issue:
Soon, the wife to the man started complaining of how the bags of water kept finishing, how the food in the house is small, how her husband is spending times three of what he would normally spend if they were to be the only ones in the house.
And also...
She started complaining that the parents of the scholars are not even contributing or giving her husband money, atleast even just as a show of appreciation for helping them take care their children.
I can't really give the full details here, but In my opinion, the woman up there, expected too much and she got none of it, till she cajoled her husband into sending off those children back to their parents.
She felt resentment towards the parents of those kids and it grew from disappointment. That resentment she felt towards those parents (because they weren't assisting), changed her character to their children, she kept nagging in the house, kept subjecting them to work and more work, she inflicted the pains she felt from the parents' lack of concern, on the children and she kept on with it till she got her husband to send the children back to their parents.
Have zero expectations.
If your relationship looks like a tennis match, 1 for 1, 2 for 2, then the relationship will start to feel forced or unnatural.
Have zero expectations but there should also be boundaries. If you feel that someone is taking advantage of you for your kindness towards them, then they actually are.
That must have been the same way the woman in that story felt... She felt the parents of those kids were trying to exploit her and her hubby, so she had to make some moves.
Know the kind of people you keep in your life.
Scratch that mentality that people owe you something, if you freely give, then people who are supposed to be in your life would naturally reciprocate.
Give because you want to give and not because you're expecting something in return.
Till we meet again in my next article and in yours.
Thanks for reading.
Most people have previous judgment means they have rules set up to determine your relationship even before knowing more about you and this is a bad fact of this because you could have wrong thinking.