We often hear the term "influenced by friends," especially when someone is on his darkest days. When you see a person going to a party or smoking, people eventually conclude that they are influenced by their friends or will be a bad influence on others. Before, I thought that is how it is and believed that peer pressure exists.
But growing up, I realized a lot, and one of them is that I was wrong when I once believed that peer pressure exists. I know that some of you will agree, and most of you will disagree.
I want to clarify that I am talking on behalf of my experiences, opinion, and personal views. If you think we will have conflicts about this matter, kindly close the article. But if you are interested, continue scrolling down and hear my side.
I am friends with many people, and it explains why I have a different circle of friends. I met people with different personalities and beliefs. Some are saying more yeses than nos, but some are vice versa. It is when reality hit met. Peer pressure does not exist, but own decision does. It is not about our friends being the bad influence, but us who wants to be influenced.
Imagine, if someone learned how to smoke because of peer pressure, once or twice will be enough. If they decided to smoke in the next years of their lives, that's their decision and not influenced by a friend.
Also, I do not believe that people did not have a choice. If you knew that your friends are drinking alcoholic beverages or smoking cigarettes and you don't want to do it, you could say no. And if they insisted and pushed you through, then leave the circle. You had a choice, so I wouldn't say I like it when parents tell their kids that they have friends that could negatively influence them. It was their choice.
Another scenario is that I have friends who don't smoke, drink, or even hang out with us overnight. It was okay, and we can still do jam and bond together. It was their choice to say no, and even if we accept it, the answer will stay as it is if they are already decided. I do not understand why people always use the term "influenced by friends" or whatsoever since every person has the freedom to decide one way or another.
As soon as I realized things, I thought that if I am a parent someday, I will teach my kids the right and effective ways of decision-making. I will not ask them to stay away from people like this and that, but rather teach them to think twice, trust fewer people, and make wise decisions. It will not be easy, but I should start planting the seeds inside their heads about how important it is to consider the possible outcome, ending, or result of every decision that they will make.
If you are reading this and think their friends influence someone by doing nasty things, never settle for the one-sided story. You will never know the story and the feeling unless you experience it on hand. I, myself, experienced being asked to do things that will cause a terrible outcome, but I think twice before deciding. And I know that I always had a choice. For me, peer pressure does not exist. People decide on their fate. And that is how it works.
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Date Published: August 21, 2021
Yun na kasi yung nakaugalian ng sabihin. Kapag tinanong, kanino ka natuto magluto ang isasagot "I was influenced by my uncle who was a chef". Kanino ka natuto magsulat, "I was influenced by one writer". Kasi at first naman hindi mo masasabing gusto o ayaw mo ang isang bagay kung hindi mo susubukan. Yes oo may choice ka abd out of free will mo yun ginawa kahit pinilit ka pa. Pero with that choice still comes the influences of other people. They pushed you to do somethings and those things may or may not be good. Whether good or bad, influence talaga ang possible na term. Sa good pwede pang inspire. Kaso can you also say I was "inspired" kapag tinuruan ka na ng mga masasamang bisyo? 😉