Have you ever ask yourself, to this age what have you proven? Any investment or business built or are you in a stable job? Have you own your house or car? Have you traveled the places you wish you visit? Or have you started doing the things on your bucket list?
This pandemic made me realized things in a hard way. Before eveeything happened, I was in a nice paying job. When I say nice, I mean it. I earned no less than P60,000 every three months for incentives alone. My life back then was full of material things. I can easily buy what I want, go to places I want and even lend money to my friends in need. I thought I had everything, but when the pandemic happened, I realized a lot were still missing. I was still supported by my previous employer during the 2020's lockdown, so financially, I still don't have problem. However, staying at home made me realized how little time I spent with my family before. How I spoiled myself too much while giving them less. There come a time as well that I lied on how much I spent so that I can have it all to myself. This realization hits me hard and I did my best to catch up to the time I lost with them.
Starting lockdown, I spent most of my time with my family, Moshi did not exist back then. I tried to spoil them with things they wanted and have a full pack grocery each week. I thought that I can do it for the whole duration of lockdown, but I was wrong. I got terminated to my good paying job and left with a little cash I had saved.
It was frustrating, given that Christmas was just around the corner when I lost my job. I got pressured and tried to look for a job, anything will do. I accepted the offer which was much less than what my salary was on my previous employer. I never really thought of staying with the new company I got hired with.
After getting my 13th month pay, I resigned and became jobless again. This was the most devasting phase of my life. The time where I don't have any penny left to spend. The time where I just kept my ears shut when my parents were discussing bills and debt. I was at my lowest. I can't help but blame myself for not being wise in handling money. That could have never happened if I saved my incentives instead of spending it to non essential things. I could have just stayed in my recent employer until I find an alternative job, but my pride comes first.
Living empty handed became my unforgettable lesson I had. So when I looked for another job, I committed to stay, whatever happens. I am happy with my current job, I'm with my bestfriend and it is an easy job. I even had time to fall asleep during work because of less workloads. The thing is, lately, the management had been announcing decreasing the number of employees.
It was a good thing that I was not included on the first batch that got terminated, but the eviction still continues and it's giving me uneasiness as to "how safe is my employment?". I've been overthinking this past few days, my mental health is starting to be at low point again. But I am not starting from scratch now, I already learned my lesson from my previous mistakes.
I am prepared but still cam't help but wish I will still be part of the company for it was my goal before accepting my Job Offer here. The thing is, I don't want to be left with nothing again that's why I'm starting to look for another job. My mom always wanted me to apply for an office post because it is stable, but I know I don't belong there. My heart wants to be at the Customer Service path. I know that someday, I will prove to them that I can have my own position in the BPO industry. They were supportive on whatever choice I will take, but then again, as parents they can't help but give me suggestion that they think will be good for me.
I really want to stay but putting my mental health on the line is never an option. I want to have a stable job but I don't want to take actions that I will regret again sooner or later. I'm trying to be wise as I seek guidance from God.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
September 2021 Articles Summary
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Don't push your luck too much. Don't be in harsh. It's quite complicated but gonna say that believe in god and works so hard.