Today marks the last day when I am 20 years old. In a few hours, my birthday will come and I shall welcome the start of my 21st year here on Earth.
I wanted to make this an inspirational article or maybe something relatable but honestly, today tired me out more than I expected. I had classes nonstop then I did activities when I have a bit of free time. I just actually finished attending an organizational meeting.
Still, I wanted to write something before this day ends. I have a lot of thoughts but right now I just can't seem to string them along together. I will do my best to write something worth reading though.
To celebrate successfully surviving another year, I want to share 20 things that I have learned and re-learned on my 20th year.
It's okay to not be okay
This is a bit self-explanatory but it was a hard concept to swallow when I was a year younger. I thought I should be optimistic all the time or else it will be my fault when things went south. But this time around, I realized that sometimes things go wrong and it is okay to not feel okay. The important thing is to get up once again.
Laughing makes everything better
When I felt overwhelmed, I used to shut myself down. I would stop all sorts of communication with anyone and just overthink every little thing. However, I found that finding things to laugh about helped in stopping my decline to a dark place. Laughing might not make my pronlems go away but it makes it easier to bear.
Asking for help is not a weakness
This is something that took me some time to learn. I was so used to soing things on my own that I did not know how to ask for help. But when things get difficult, asking for help is the best thing I have ever done. I will definitely learn to ask help periodicall from now on.
Family will always be there
Connected with the thing I mentioned above, askimg for help is not a weakness. And who is better to ask for help than my own family? No matter how bad I messed up, they are there to help me pick myself up.
Friends must be chosen wisely
It is nice to have many friends but I am a believer of quality over quantity. Most of my high school friends, who had treated me as a shoulder to cry on had stop talking to me the moment we got to college. It was sad at first but after a while I have come to terms with it. Maybe my role for all those years was to listen to their problems and nothing more. Thankfully, my two bestfriends are still with me. Moreover, I find a good bestfriend in my partner.
Networks are important
Friends are supposed to be someone who you can go to for many reasons. Networks, on the other hand, are people you know of through some sort of contact that can help you in specific things. Examples are blockmates who can give insider information about how professors do their test according to older students that they are close to. One can't survive as a lone wolf.
Procrastination is good (sometimes)
I am a master at procrastinating but I was not always good with it. Before, I used to procrastinate by doing nonsense things like midlessly scrolling through social media. But this year, I learned that when I procrastinate by thinking of what I could to make an activity better, when I finally do it at the last minute, my mind is full of ideas. So procrastinating is good when it is done to allocate more time in thinking how to make something better.
Self-love is easy and hard
More than 6 months ago, I embarked on a journey to self-love. It is a hard path to follow and while I made a lot of progress, I know that I still have a long way to go. It is easy because I know myself and my wants. It is hard because I doubt whether I deserve to feel happy in my own body. With constant efforts, I have improved a lot from how I was before.
Doing what's best for one's self is not selfish
This is connected to the one above. When I embarked on a self-love journey, I had to remind myself that I will prioritize myself over anyone else. Gone are the days when I would set aside my needs to make someone else feel better. It is not selfish to choose myself when I need it.
Saying no is okay
I was a people pleaser back then. I had a hard time saying no. Sometimes I would even sacrifice my own activities just bwcause I could not refuse someone. But I learned how to say no without feeling the need to explain myself. For the present me, no is already a complete sentence.
We outgrow things, and that's okay
I have so many interests that I outgrew out of. This also do not just apply to intetests but also relationships. Sometimes friendships just fade away because the path each of us are gonna take are different. It took me some time to realize that it is normal. I can still root for them even if our friendships faded into mere memories now.
It is easier to judge than emphatize
This is something that I have observed. In social media people are so quick to share judgement without knowing the full story. So everytime I see something that makes me feel wild emotions, I stop and think and wait before forming an opinion.
Everyone feels a little lost sometimes
I thought that there is an age where everything just falls into place; no worries about anything ans just purely enjoying the life. But now I know that I can enjoy life most times and still feel lost sometimes.
Pets really do make life brighter
Moshi is an angel. She helped me out a lot during this difficult times. Her presence really made the difference on whether I will have a breakdown or not.
Hobbies do not need to be monetized
I fell into the trap of trying to earn money on everything I do. Eventually this led to me losing any passion for the things I used to love doing. So I learned that it is okay to do something and not think of ways to make money out of it. I can just do things just because I like it.
Look good and feel good
I have always felt super self-conscious of my body and I hated it. Once I started to wear clothes that looks good on me, I felt better.
Rest is productive
I used to treat my burnout and sleepless night as a badge of honor. I thought that it was a proof of my productivity, but it was not. It was unhealthy to put myself through that. Once I learned how to rest without worry, I have been more productive and ultimately produce better results.
Mental health should also be a priority
This is something that I always like to remind myself because I sometimes tend to ignore my mental health. I learned how to pay more attention to my mental health. With this, I learned how to spot my triggers and signs that I am close to burning out which gives me enough time to slow down.
Good things come unexpectedly
Once I started working on myself, I started to find more good things coming to my life. It was crazy! Things that I only wished about are suddenly mine. Things that were part of my dreams became my reality.
Things do get better
As cliché as it sounds, things do get better after some time. You just have to stick around to see the good things. So if you feel like giving up, this is your sign to KEEP TRYING. Be patient, good things will come to you soon.
Closing words
This is a long article, I think. Hopefully, this can help out someone younger than me. If you have anything to add, feel free to let us know!
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
November 2021 Articles Summary
September 2021 Articles Summary
To show my appreciation for the support that I have been receiving, please accept a small gift I prepared for the first reader.
Happy birthday mare! And yes, mental health is the top most priority! Enjoy your day and stay happy always 💕