Is It Really a Woman's fault?? ... The Frustrating People of India!!

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
2 years ago
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This was an experience for me from a couple of years ago which i remembered once again as I have decided to start walking again.... Most of the Indian people’s brain less narrow than that of animals… Yesterday, I started evening walk again after few months. As I don’t have any park or ground privileges near my house, I had no choice but to walk on the streets and surrounding main road. Two guys on bike followed me through out 30 minutes and once am done, they even came and stood almost near my house gate. I was ignoring them from the start and continued my walk, as my health is more important to me than this shit. However at the end, I thought they would leave after eyeing and cat calling me on the road.

Unfortunately, they seemed more than just bad guys and came straight away to my house following me on their bike. I was walking towards my gate but I couldn’t take it anymore and really wanted to scare the shit out of them and I turned instantly focusing my mobile camera right on their faces. They literally jerked off because of my unexpected reaction and was scared that I might capture them, they started off their bike and left the place in seconds. They often turned back, because I kept focusing them in the cam, they left finally.

The above incident did not move a leaf in me because this is India and come on, these kind of incidents are very common here and this is just ONE OF THE incidents I actually faced through out my life and in fact this is not the worse. However, what made me anger/sad/frustrated/hurt to the power of infinity is that when I discussed this incident with a very close relative, the first question they asked me “what were you wearing??” I was like “what???”… I was wearing a T-shirt and jeggings (both are NOT skin fit) and i told them the same. And the immediate reaction was like “It’s YOUR fault” .. ” you should have wore a shawl around you or a cardigan”. I was like, “What the heck is wrong with my country’s people? What is wrong with their thoughts” … even if I had worn a saree and draped the full clothing around me, even if I would have wore the Muslim’s Hijab, morons will remain morons right?

If a dress makes you horny? then what about your character? When I asked about it to one of my friends in fb and they told me “men are designed in that way” …. oh really??? …..definitely not according to me. I know and talked to many men who literally looks down or away when girl’s dresses are revealing or few of those good men even ask them to adjust it. And I have also know those who eye girls even thought they are dressed up full and would be waiting for a chance to sneak peak.
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In these thoughts, I forgot the actual problem happened to me of “men chasing” … the narrow mindedness of my society is more disturbing to me than the actual issue. Explains me why rape cases are not getting justice. Why would they??? if your relatives themselves pin point you saying “it’s your dress, its your fault” or saying "You were asking for it" ..in the place in which they actually have to support you and back you up until the justice is served.

Excuse me what???? How do girls "Ask" to get raped?? is this a joke?? So according to this logic, If I get dressed up as a chef, can I walk into a restaurant and announce myself as a head chef?? or If I dress up like a judge, can I just walk in a court and sit in the judge's place?? How the heck does a dress explain the character of a woman or a man?? Explains me the situations that many cases are closed before the court hearing in India, way before the girl gets a treatment in hospital and thousands of cases are not even filed in courts... when you have douche-bag mentality in the society, there is no way to get a justice...

People please….. its not a “girl’s fault” … she must have the right to wear whatever she wants (to her safety, I would suggest her to wear decently). That is what real freedom right? I feel sick because there is no guarantee in my country for a girl to return safely once she left her house. I feel sad and my heart breaks for those who suffered harassment/rape/loss of respect and haven’t been given justice for what they have gone through. I myself have gone through sexual harassment 4 times in my life starting from age 6... I might write a post about my experiences later though..

I was really sad and angry yesterday thinking I must kill someone. But whom??? those who followed me?? or those said “your fault??” … whom??? I wish I had an answer. I wish I had a solution…

Pic credit: Pixabay.com

Thank you for reading this guys, and for those parents who have girls, teach them martial arts and bravery.. Tell them not to accept defeat, especially in the hands of morons.. and if you have boy kids, teach them it is NOT okay to follow women around and to actually respect their likes and dislikes.. teach them to treat other women how they want their Mom to be treated...teach early... before it is too late..

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2 years ago

Comments

Yes, you are very right. I think the same. I am attracted to woman who wear revealing clothes but I respect them as much as any other human being. Nobody likes to be followed and you reacted perfectly, I think. You should wear what you like when you like irrespective of what others might think. Of course, some circumstances need certain dress codes to show respect, like at a funeral, don't wear white and at a marriage, you should make an effort to look good. But otherwise, yeah, just wear what you like.

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2 years ago

I hate this kind of people. What happen to them🥺

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2 years ago

Sick morons... they just see women as objects

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2 years ago

This also happens here in Nigeria and it so disheartening and pathetic. Like how does the dress warrant different harassments and rapes cases.

I'm really angry right now, even ladies that put on the so called covered gowns, are also raped on daily basis

I have the right to put on anything, if what I'm wearing is tempting, close your eyes or look aside.

The word "it is your fault" is also used here, even from the so called relatives. I really want that the punishment for these animals is castration.

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2 years ago

That makes me furious to know it is the same thing for women across the globe.. our gender is the most hated which sucks

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2 years ago

It really makes no sense.... Really. In a world dominated by men, many I don't know what to say, some people are blind to justify their baseless and stupid actions. It's your body, you choose what to wear.

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2 years ago

I know right? it is not like I wore a bikini to walk.. I was wearing a t and a pant for God's sake

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2 years ago

How come to be it's girl's fault when raped exist. Clothes should not be na excuse to justify the rape at any case. Everyone should be aware of that.

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2 years ago

Sadly, even judicial system closed it's eyes on women here in India.. capital punihsments needed to be placed

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2 years ago

Sorry to say this but that relative of yours is nuts! He is one of those that will blame a girl for getting raped, saying she tempted the rapist. Those sort of people annoy the hell out of me 😤 Ask your relative what about Muslim girls that are putting on hijab and covering every part of their body that still end up getting rape, is it still because of their dressing?

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2 years ago

Exactly my point, it is not like those rapists leave the women if they wore a hijab or a saree.. people are nuts

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2 years ago

Oh my, this makes me mad. I can't even organized my thoughts. Why this kind of mindset still exist :(

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2 years ago

They want to cover up their faults with stupidity

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2 years ago

Wait! You said you were putting on a t-shirt with leggings. Is there anything wrong in the dress? Of course no! If a guy wants to rape, even if the woman is putting on a saree, he will still rape her. We just need to focus on the guilty ones here and not putting blames on the girls all the time.

We all know some girls do dress shabbily and attract men to them. They also should dress decently when going out.

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2 years ago

We need co-operation and contribution from both genders, a man must behave and a woman must dress decently.. victim shaming is the most disgusting thing ever

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2 years ago

Honestly, this is very depressing. Situations lie this makes me wonder if its crime to be a woman. Reminds me of malala yusufzai who was almost assasinated just because some ___ thought it was a sin for a woman to get educated. Am very sorry sis, I know you feel so upset about this incident. But I mighty glad that you were not assaulted!

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2 years ago

Good that brought her in the conversation because I read what she had gone through, she took a bullet to her face.. her bravery is amazing.. I just hate being a woman

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2 years ago

Hey, calm down. I know you are frustrated. I know you have no other way to shout which you really need. They will never learn dear. Those morons will never change. After Nirbhaya case, did those scumbags stop? The answer is no. They only blame girls.

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2 years ago

I'm as calm as a ocean during a normal day. Those two men would have broken bones if I was angry :))

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2 years ago

That's what I am worried about. They didn’t know that whom they were messing with. If they knew, they would run. Bhaago..... 🤣

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2 years ago

Lmaoo I know right? I'm not one of those who cry.. I make them cry.. even if it means getting hurt

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2 years ago

Why don't you become the lady singham?

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2 years ago

Sad but true, here in Philippines when a woman get raped it seems like it's her fault because she's revealing clothes. However, that's not how it should work, the problem is the mindset of those bastard, they should know how to respect woman like how they did to their mom. But question is, Is there any respect left for them? Well I guess none. A jerk is always a jerk that's the saddest part of the society, instead of helping you they'll blame the things on you.

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2 years ago

Victim shaming and blaming sucks... it is much more disgusting than the crime itself

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2 years ago

Sadly, violence against anyone happens all the time and what's more concerning are the ones not being reported. I hope these acts stop now.

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2 years ago

Absolutely! It was never a woman fault if a man fely horny! Its their attitude which could not control. Yes, it is normal to felt that urge if you saw a sexy lady but what is not normal is doing something which can be considered harrasament. Let's face it, fashion is evolving. Crops tops , shorts body con dresses . So, we woman should deprived ouselves from wearing this?

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2 years ago

This rape issue the predators tag indescent dressing" as the bait is somehow not true, those people can't just control their hormones at any spot. I have seen where a fully & well dressed lady was raped, how did it happened? They just wanted where to quench their thirst. So bad!

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2 years ago

This is a common occurrence in almost every country in the world. Talking about women's rights, it has not been implemented yet.

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2 years ago

I still wonder to a very large extent why the issues of rape is still surviving in India whereas here in Nigeria, our government even though very corrupt have been able to placed a capital punishment on any caught doing it

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2 years ago

Society is so damaged that irresponsible men's behaviours are not cautioned but the entire fault is directed to the lady for dressing a certain way.

Only an animal will brutalised and rape his fellow person and use the excuse of "she asked for it".. nobody asks to be raped.

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2 years ago

This is the bitter truth of India,growing up as a girl here we are still not safe.Small kids,teenagers,adults no women are safe here.Just because of no right justice against the crime.Some areas are really unsafe

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2 years ago

Oh that is also a common problem here in our country, they even says that it's a woman fault as she is dressing inappropriate. But honestly it could be a man's fault too. Not because a woman is dressing sexy she deserves to be disrespected. Why some man can't think that way? Every woman deserves respect, no matter how she dress up.

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2 years ago

I am sorry to hear that, doll. This is heartbreaking.

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2 years ago

I still can't wrap my head around it, how that's an acceptable norm in India. Women are assaulted and raped and both the justice system and family blame the woman, for what? Been a woman? It doesn't matter what a lady wears or does, it's not okay, not an excuse for the evil that men perpetuate with their body, that's sadly becoming a norm in India. We live in a patriarchal world, but India's case is disgustingly worst. A society where men are subconsciously thought that women are objects that have to be in certain ways or be available to be used by men as they desire. It's sad, shameful, sickening, and worth killing for.. And if I could kill for it, it's those who say it's the woman's fault that will die first( I'm not saying you should kill anyone). It's just annoying

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2 years ago

I'm really very sorry to hear that but yeah the mentality of the society at some places is really soo narrow, I'm from India and to be honest people around me are quite open- minded and we don't have such incidents here where I live. And yes there are also some idiotic political leaders like from uttrakhand a recent example who was blaming women for their dress, I ask them bloody who the hell are you to tell the women what to wear and what not to. People sometimes are really so disgusting, and by the way in my village girls wear jeans t-shirts and anything they wish and no one asks them not to wear it because here people are open minded. This thing what you mentioned really brings the bad image of India in other country and I get very sad about incidents like these.

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2 years ago

I've come to understand that women face a lot of judgement. It's not fair at all... Women don't deserve what they get most times... I'm sorry it happens to you... Please keep being careful... Much love...

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2 years ago