Toxic Parenting, Do you think you are encouraging your child using this words?

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Avatar for SenyoritaWriter
2 years ago

Being Parent is one of the most hard job to do because you are in responsibility for the better future of your child but do you think that using this worlds and or do this things can encourage your children to have a better future?

Before i will start, I would like to say that I don’t understand the feeling of being a parent since I am still a minor. However, I am also a daughter and i would like to talk with you in how we, as a Children think and feel about you as a parent always say to us.

I know that the only reason of some parent why they are saying those words is “For the future of your child, i just discipline him/her.” but are you really using the right words to discipline your child?

And this is the worst experience of your Children if you tell this words to them and you should better read this to become aware.

Being Compared to other’s Child

You know, being compare to other is the biggest hurtful and painful thing that we heard as a child. As a Daughter, I always heard this words from my Parents and family since when I was young “Buti pa yung anak ni ano...” , “Buti pa si...” that is start of words and ends with “pero ikaw...” and “Ikaw kaya?”

Do you know how much we feel when we heard this? to the fact that we are your own child but never been enough to you? That our parents are not satisfied and they are still wanting others better than you.

Every time we heard those comparison, We can’t stop to think “are we not enough?”, “I feel sorry to my Parents because I am just like this”, “I hope I will never born to this world” and sometimes they are the cause and effect of our suicidal depressions because I, myself are like that and don’t say that your child did not feel what i feel because we have the same feelings.

And if you are consider this as a lesson and to motivate your child, stop! Because that will never become what you are expecting. They will not become better and they will just rebel and that is why their are some youth children that doing rebelious things in their life.

I know that it is not only the Parents fault. It is also your child’s because they did not think positive however, we can’t blame them because they are just child and they are still young. They cannot mature in an early age and they are easily to get hurt.

How to Comfort and Motivate your child without hurting their feelings?

  • Tell to them that no matter who they are, they are still your child

  • Tell them that if the child of someone can, They can too

  • Boost their confidence and tell to them that it’s okay and don’t rush things because they can still get there no matter what

  • Support them to the things that they can do to make you proud because parents are always the reason why your child are doing their best to everything

I have witnessed how brave many young people like me are!

Because of this, I witnessed a lot of young people like me. Their parents always compare them to others yet they are keep fighting till they prove to their parents that they are enough that they will be proud that they have a child that can be voice out around the world and they are boosting their self confidence because if their parents will not, theirselves can prove it and I, idolize people who are brave that no matter how painful they get, they are keep stand still and prove to many people that they wrong.

To Students that are struggling out there, this is for you. I know how you are struggling right now to the pleasures and struggles to study and your parents keep on expecting more to you. I would like to tell that don’t mind those words and keep your world to be your own world. You can prove to them someday that your parents are wrong. Just keep on working hard and they will realize someday that you, their own child is the one who are most better to keep that everyone else. We are young but we can still open and think positive to this things that reasons why we are hurt.

To parents out there, i hope that you will be aware of your child’s feelings. This situation is very difficult for them to handle so i hope that you should be careful to the words that you can spill because

“Words are hurtful than knives”

Thank you for reading my article! Shout out to those people who support me recently in my article yesterday! I wishing you all the best ❤️

_____________________

My Other Articles:

Illegal selling babies in the Philippines

The Social Media hidden secrets, are you aware?

Top 3 behaviors that usually my close friends hate it to me

My Time of my first experiences of my teen age years

My wishes in my life and what will I Do before i die

Things that i want to do but my parents won’t allow me

My Parents taught me these 5 little things in life

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Avatar for SenyoritaWriter
2 years ago

Comments

never ever compare your children to anyone, it just give them the idea how low they are, madami na ako nakita na ganyan, lalo na mga pinsan ko lagi ko naririnig sa mga uncle at auntie ko yun binabanggit lagi nila un sa kanila nung bata ako, parang okay lang pero ngayon na tumanda na kami dun ko nakita kung ano epekto sa kanila yun, tingin nila sa sarili nila napaka baba nila dahil sa pag kukumpara, nawala ung tiwala sa sarili nila, ayaw nila mag effor kasi sa huli ikukumpara pa rin sila

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2 years ago

Kaya nga malakas talaga epekto ng mga yan sa mga bata lalo na at naninibago sila at mahina lang dila sa mga ganyan. Ewan ko ba, bat may mga ganyang mga klase ng magulang hays. Kahit ako naganyan din pero as of now, I’m doing my best at natuto akong mag effort para maging successful at ipakitang kaya ko. Hindi lang naman para sakanila eh, para din sa sarili ko 🤦🏻‍♀️

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2 years ago

You will be a parent in the future just please don't do that to your children. I know it is hurtful that you have experience such in your childhood that supposed to be building confidence to have better future and to become the best version of yourself. I am a daughter too and the day I can't longer endure all the pressure and feelings I told them everything. And that changes their attitude as a parent. Sometimes we just needed to let them understand that we are suffocated and hurt in order for them to know.

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2 years ago

Yes. I don’t like to become a toxic parent and I don’t like my child to experience the things that I experienced from my Parents and family. If I will get married, Maybe I will choose to lived far away from them so that they can’t be experience some difficult things because i know that our Family is one of the reasons why we are thinking suicidal thoughts in life.

It is Good that you express your feelings to your parents and they changed. Because there is some children in this world that they can’t voice out what they feel to their Parents just like me.

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2 years ago

I hate it when my parents always saying me those words but I use that to encourage myself not because they are encouraging me. I encourage and motivate myself by what people say around me and one of those words are that and to make myself strong. I also learn to be brave because of that and yes it may affect to those people who did not know to think possitive and think what is the best however, i think there is no people who can think straight positive because we are thinking negative before we are thinking positive in life

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2 years ago

Right. We should also think why they are saying those and do the things that will make them proud to you. If they won’t see it then let them be. We don’t need to prove them all because we all know that we did our best

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2 years ago

Na experience ko yan sis. Yung i.compare ako sa iba, ang sakit sa loob niyan talaga, especially kasi only child ako, at very strict sila sa akin since I was a kid. Nasasaktan ako pag sinasabihan ako nang masasakit na salita, tanging ginagawa ko nalang ay yung umiyak sa kwarto, mag isa🥺

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2 years ago

Sobrang sakit talaga yung mapagsabihan ka lalo nakapag galing sa parents ano? Pero okay lang. Basta ipakita nalang natin sakanila na worth it tayong mahalin at may mga bagay na meron satin na di nila nakikita na wala din naman sa iba.

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2 years ago

Tama ka dyan☺️

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2 years ago