Last Chapter: Selfish
This is the last chapter of my fictional story.
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FICTIONAL
Chapter 4: The last chapter of Selfish: Fictional story.
"Don't you get bored keep listening to this, like everyday?"
"It boosts me up somehow Joan. And I love it way too much!", Zian smiled at Joan.
" Girl, you're still...anyway. Text me, I'll pick you up,ok?"
"Yeah, sure!", Zian winked at Joan and left.
Zian has been researching on literature for past two years. And is going to be enlisted as the youngest researcher in her department.
Life goes on, so she does. Life in USA is really busy. And the city New York has given her so much.
She feels thankful to every sphere of her life, whether it's been a tragedy or a gift. Coincidentally she met a surgeon in a conference over here who was looking for some patient to study on. And Dr. Joe was happy to find his patient. And Zian went through a surgery, that had 50/50 chance for her to recover. And miraculously, it was a success! Everything seemed like surreal to her!
She doesn’t wear sunglass anymore, even not on a sunny scorching day! She let the sun kiss on her eyes.
In the afternoon Joana went to Zian's research centre and they headed for shopping. Joana got busy into a jewellery shop,so Zian left her there and moved forward to a book shop. One of the books fell on the ground from her hand and a passersby picked it up for her.
"Thank you!", she smiled at the passerby while he was about to pass.
And he replied," That's ok!", and their eyes met.
"Do you know me?", he asked.
" Umm.." Zian hesitated for a second and he said, "Never mind!" and he left.
Zian was choked and her heart was heaving.
"Zian! Why are you here? Ahh, books! Wait, what happened? " Joana shook her when she found Zian was lost!
Zian mumbled something but Joana couldn’t hear, so she shook her again, "What happened Zian?"
"I..I guess I just met Jongdae!", she mumbled, her eyes became moist.
" Damn! What? Where? I mean how can you be so sure? You never saw him! Didn’t even want to see his photo!" Joana kept looking for Jongdae.
"I know his voice Joan, I know his voice. I'm sure it was him!", she covered her mouth.
" Did you ask him?"
"NO!", Zian was lost.
" You silly! Damn! You should've! Let's look for him! Let's go Zian!"
She started dragging Zian.
"We can't find him here in the crowd! He's gone!" tears took place already in her beautiful eyes.
"But we should meet him, at least for once. Come on!", Joana looked for Jongdae.
Zian took some steps forward and froze. She screamed with her utmost energy and called out his name,
"K I M J O N G D A E!"
And took a few more steps forward and did it again. And Joana was shocked at Zian's sudden reaction. And the people in the mall was shocked as well.
Zian sat on her knees on the floor and started sobbing, covering her face with her hands.
"It took so long Zian, right?" a voice kept walking towards her.
Zian looked up and found Jongdae was standing in front of her. That wavy hair, and dreamy eyes with a little overpowering sadness over there. He hesitated for a second but stretched his hand towards her, "Come on, get up! People are watching and they might clap for us for getting some other vibe!", he chuckled.
"Hey Jongdae, what's up?" Joana came forward when Zian took his hand to get up.
"I'm good Joana. Hope you're too!"
Zian was feeling so awkward after doing such a thing and she couldn’t meet her eyes with him.
"Let's have coffee!" Joana tried to ease the awkwardness among them. She was also feeling awkward as she had to say Jongdae once not to ask for Zian anymore. Because she had no choice since Zian got so mad at her. So Joana had to!
They were sitting in a coffee shop.
"I'm really happy to see you girls here! And it's a surprise to see your recovery! Happy for you", he carefully skipped taking Zian's name.
Zian smiled awkwardly, "Thanks. Yeah it happened that way. Lucky me! Umm..you're here, for some corporate purpose? " since Jongdae was in a formal get up so she threw the random question.
"Yeah, I came here for a corporate meeting and then ended up in the mall for shopping a little." he smiled awkwardly.
"How are your parents by the way?"
Zian asked.
"They're ok. Though mom isn't doing that well."
"So Jongdae does shopping also! What did you buy? Show me!" Joana took a sip of coffee and tried to pull his leg.
He slid his hand in his pocket and brought a box. And Zian got a call right at that moment!
The phone kept ringing...
[She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while...]
And she hurriedly made it silent and went to attend the call and Jongdae was startled and couldn’t find any word!
"How does she have this song?" He managed himself to ask Joana.
Joana was looking at the box, "Well, she told me to record it in the event! And you don't know but she has been listening to it from then till now! And you remember, once you wanted to listen what she was listening but she didn't let you? It was this." Joana sighed!
"The poem she wrote, I know! " Jongdae smiled miserably.
"How do you know I wrote this by the way?" Zian came back.
"Joana was talking about it that day!", Jongdae chuckled.
" Yeah, right! She has a big mouth with loud voice as well!", Zian rolled her eyes at Joana and she shrugged. And they all started laughing.
And the box caught Zian's glance.
"Oh, congratulations!", she tried to smile.
" Oh, this! I'm just doing this for mom, nothing else!" Jongdae tapped his finger over the box, lost in somewhere.
An awkwardness was eating up all of them.
They tried to chitchat a little about their lives but the conversation couldn’t go further.
"We should leave now, Jongdae!", Zian took a pause before calling his name. " I wish you a very happy and beautiful life ahead!", Zian bit her lip, and tried to smile. Her heart was struggling to win the battle between tears and the fake smile she put on her lips.
"I was happy then when I found the rythm on the brail, my life was beautiful then!" Jongdae looked into Zian's eyes straight away but Zian looked the other way. She couldn’t figure out what to say!
They came out on the street and waited for the cab.
"What will you do now?" Joana asked Jongdae before getting into the cab.
"I'll stroll a little and will have some fresh air!", he smiled, " take care, both of you!"
The girls got into the car and it started moving, Jongdae kept looking at them for few seconds and then started walking on his way.
"Zian, I beg you. Stop hurting each other. Just run to him!"
"I can't! He's moved already! " Zian tried hard to hold onto her tears!
"Are you dumb or what! He still loves you idiot! You hurt him and that's why he couldn't say anymore! Just run to him! You guys still have a chance! " Joana screamed at her, "Please stop the car, bro! Just get out of the car, Zian! " Joana paid the bill and pushed Zian out of the car.
Zian hesitated for a second and then started running like crazy towards the direction Jongdae was walking. And Joana followed her.
Zian took a turn to her left and saw a glimpse of Jongdae in the crowd. She started running on her heels as fast as she could.
"Stop!", her lungs were out of air when she clenched the hem of Jongdae's shirt and he was choked to death looking at her!
" What happened? What are you doing here!" Jongdae got a grip on her arms.
"Can I be a little selfish, Jongdae?" she stopped struggling with her tears anymore and let them flow.
Jongdae stood still, being so blank!
"I want to hold your hand, I wanted to back then, every single time when I missed you!" She bit her lips and didn’t care if the tears were rolling down on her cheeks.
Jongdae pulled her into his arms and hugged tightly, tears rolled down from his eyes when he whispered into her ear, "You were selfish back then, killing your heart and mine as well. Now you've taken a step for self love, Zian! "
"I love you, Jongdae. I really do!"
"I've loved you more my little girl!" he pecked on her forehead.
Joana wiped off her tears, smiling at them from a little far. And inhaled the fresh air of the unknown city where the known faces were brought together.
THE END
AUTHORS NOTE:
Thankyou for reading my fictional story. I hope you have lesson and you enjoyed reading.
Chapter 3 : Selfish
***“The world says: "You have needs -- satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more." This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.”***
It's a fiction
Before you continue.
Here's the previous story
Chapter 2: Selfish
https://read.cash/@tommyshelby/chapter-2-selfish-6852ffeb
Chapter 1:
https://read.cash/@tommyshelby/chapter-1-selfish-bfb470ae
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**Continuation...**
Jongdae was searching for Joana. Finally he found her at the corner of the basketball ground.
https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/40462096631124278/
He went near to her and sat beside her. She was sobbing and Jongdae handed tissue to her. She managed herself and got a grip on her emotion.
"You know what, I just want her to be as normal as she can, I wanted her to be active like before. Well she might not, but she should give it a try!", tears started forming again into her eyes.
Jongdae patted on her shoulder, remaining silence.
And she shared their story..
Basically Joana and Zian are childhood best friends. Their fathers were friends and business partners as well. But in a plane crash Zian's parents died while she was staying back for her high school exam. And then Joana's father, Mr. Chae became her father figure and Zian started living with them.
Last year while going back home aftrer class, they stopped by a restaurant for lunch. And when they came out, waiting for their car to arrive, they went through a rash car driving incident. The car was at such a speed that it was about to hit Joana. But Zian stepped in to push away Joana. And unfortunately, couldn't save herself! And it wasn't possible to get her eyesight back, because the tissues were badly damaged.
Zian has been a bright student always, and was about to pursue her career in abroad. And things happened!
" I felt so guilty that it took me a lot to face her.", Joana bit her lip, "And from then I stick to her like her shadow and I hate that cane in her hand!
Damn! All I wanted her to be happy, how she used to be in such cultural events! But I ended up hurting her! ", she covered her face in between her palms.
Jongdae patted on her back and assured, " I'll take care of it!"
And finally Zian agreed because of Joana. When Jongdae and Zian were busy in practice, Joana brought lunch for them or sometimes they went out to eat altogether. They started becoming opened to each other.
Jongdae helped Zian to hold onto herself and supported her while they had their practice going on.
There were moments when Jongdae kept looking at Zian and felt lost. Her brown hair across her shoulder, slender hands and beautiful fingers that moved over the dots over the page, he started finding rhythm in her every single thing. He kept smiling more than before when Zian was around him.
And Zian started to feel ease since Jongdae was helping her in every little single thing. As if he was babysitting her. Zian started realising that Jongdae is someone very caring and a beautiful person.
Days went away and the awaited event was there. The play was performed. Both Jongdae and Zian were doing well. They were sitting near to each other and Joana was also with them at the backstage.
Everyone was appraising Jongdae's voice as well Zian's.
And then he started singing a song that Zian had no idea about in the practice period because he never sang this one before and he tuned it by himself because technically it wasn’t a song either-
[She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while
The hut had magic world
That kept her getting called
And the butterflies flying around
Cotton clouds were floating, found.
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"Zian! " Joana became surprised as well Zian and Joana kept saying, "Isn't it the poem you wrote, I..", Zian squeezed on her hand to make her shut.
The audience started praising, so the others from the backstage also. And Zian got tears in her eyes. All she could think how beautifully he just composed the music and sang it like it had been already a song itself! She became short in words when she wanted to praise him.
" You just made that poem into a song! I mean how did you..I'm..I'm just speechless! Just wow!", Zian had her tears of joy.
"You did bravo, Jongdae! Great!", Joana gave him a hi five.
Jongdae started blushing, scratching over his neck, " I just loved it when I heard you reciting this. And I wanted to surprise you with this. I'm so happy that you loved it Zian!"
The day was very eventful for their department. So they went home the moment the program was wrapped up.
Joana was feeling restless to ask Zian about the song.
"When did he hear that Zian? Tell me!" Joana and Zian were sitting on the bed. And Zian had to share the story.
"Ahh..he sings the poem that you like, he cares for you and all. What is going on Zian? And he was looking so damn good today! " Joana chuckled!
"Joan, stop your bullshit, ok? You and your all stories!!"
"No seriously! Let me give you his facial geography!", Joana became so enthusiastic, " His wavy golden brown hair is neatly brushed always, his dreamy beautiful eyes and sophisticated voice are pretty enough to woo away girls. His pale skin becomes pink when he blushes and he keeps scratching his neck. The sound of his laughter resembles to any joyful kid. He looks so squishy then, trust me!
The sound of his laughter resembles to any joyful kid. He looks so squishy then, trust me! And he was wearing matching with you, white", Joana made a stop.
So that's how does he look, Zian kept thinking! Because she had no idea how does Jongdae look, she was just aware of how beautiful human he has been only.
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Months have passed......
One fine day Zian was listening to some music with her earphones on. She didn’t know Jongdae has come over there. He sat for few moments then tapped on her shoulder,
"What are you listening? Let me hear!"
Zian choked out and flinched when he tapped her, and she hurriedly slid her phone and earphone into her bag. Joana was observing everything but kept silence and Jongdae felt a little awkward to Zian's reaction but he didn’t say anything.
"Let's go to library guys, I have to issue some books." Joana tried to avoid the awkwardness that was forming.
Zian got up but tripped and she tried to find something to hold onto and she clenched Jongdae's sleeve hem. Jongdae wanted to hold her from falling but he didn’t touch her. And Joana took care of her. An awkwardness between Zian and Jongdae was vivid by then.
A few days later Jongdae wanted to speak to Zian, alone. So Joana let them to. Though Zian was feeling a little uncomfortable,
"Yes, tell me please?"
"Did I do any mistake Zian, which made you upset?" he sounded so gloomy.
"No! Why would you? But why are you asking?" Zian got surprised to his question.
"You never call out my name, and you feel awkward when I'm around you. Something is wrong there!" the sadness was overpowering on his voice.
Zian stood still and she was struggling with her words. Finally she spoke, "There's nothing like that. You’ve got some misunderstanding. I'm getting late. I should leave now." Zian took few steps and fell on the ground. Jongdae ran to her, stretched his hand but she screamed, calling Joana's name. Joana saw everything from a far and she was just coming towards Zian. Joana ran to her, got Zian up from the ground. Joana looked at Jongdae for a few seconds and then left the place along with Zian.
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"I just want to know everything Zian, like E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!" Joana demanded to know. Zian finally spoke to her.
"And you know what, I wanted to ask you the same question which is very obvious -why don't you call him by his name, Zian?"
Zian started struggling with her tears, "Because, If I start calling him by his name, I'll start missing him more!", tears rolled down and she didn’t care to wipe off.
"Oh my poor baby! I had this hunch for so long. I wanted to ask you but I was scared if I might hurt you asking this. And it's absolutely ok to love. And he is so loving. I've seen him, you’ve realised it.", Joana sat infront of her, on her knees and started caressing Zian's hands.
" I don't want to be pitied Joan. I can't take that, you know!"
"But he doesn’t pity you darling! I've seen his emotion for you in his damn beautiful eyes. That's so precious. Let go of your past baby. Just embrace the present and let yourself be happy!"
"How can I ruin his life Joan, how? I'll be a burden to him at some point. I don't want to ruin him, and even if he has that emotion for me, it'll burden him and weigh him down after a period of time. Oh! I can't take it anymore, Joan!
This bare truth is cutting me into pieces, inside of me. I'm feeling too suffocated to breathe Joana. I want to leave this place!" Zian buried her face into her palms and Joana drag Zian into her arms to comfort.
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"Is she alright? " Jongdae was as concerned as like he's been always.
Joana smiled weakly, "She's fine. Just taking a bit rest."
Jongdae became silent. Joana broke the silence, "You love her, right?"
Jongdae startled and looked at her.
"Yes, you do! ”, Joana sighed.
" Let me tell you the other part of her story! She was in a relationship. They both applied for scholarship to study abroad. But that accident happened to her and everything was ruined. The guy broke up with her. And she was in devastation. The one she loved, left her just like this! So she can't have any pity in her life Jongdae!"
"Pity? Do you think I've ever pitied her? She didn’t even give me a chance to express what I've felt for her! Fine! I don't want to!" Jongdae was looking otherway. Joana knew it was legit for him to react also.
"She doesn’t want to hurt herself neither to hurt you! She doesn't want you to be bothered. Please try to understand! Don't hate her", Joana pleaded to him.
"I will not make things hard for her as she only thought of herself, the way she wanted to figure out by herself! Jongdae left Joana there.
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**To be continued.**
***Authors note:***
I just want to say thankyou for those to keep on reading my fictional stories. Even though this is my first time to write a story. Please bare with me guys.
Oh no! I lost my BCH wallet
Hi guys I just want to share to you all of what happened to my BCH wallet.
It was yesterday that happened, when I was about to download the Noise.cash app to my cellphone. I was about to start to download the app but the system notified me that I don't have enough space for the app. So I uninstall some of my app. When I'm waiting the app to be installed. I checked my other apps and look for other app that can be uninstalled so that I can have more space in my phone.
When I'm scrolling I noticed that my Bitcoin app was not there. I double check it first because maybe only I didn't see it and it was not there. So i decided to go to app store and check if it is uninstalled. And confirmed I accidentally uninstalled my bitcoin app.
The thing is I forgot to recover my wallet. This is my first time to use this app that's why I don't have enough knowlegde to operate it. Whenever I'm visiting it I always see the backup cloud thing in the settings. I ignore it first because I didn't know that it was a recovery file.
First I asked my friend on how to retrieve the wallet and he said that I need to find my seed phrase so that I can import my wallet, so I did. Unfortunately when I entered my seed phrase it has zero balance. I said to him that I did but there are zero balance and he ask me if I backed up my wallet. Then I remembered the back up file thingy that I forgot to do. My wallet had gone that fast. It has 333 pesos when the dollar converted to peso.
I felt a little dismay and disappointment at the same time I felt sad. I feel a little regret for those amount of money because it was my first time to gather that kind of money using my own thinking. It was my first import from read.cash. Sadly, I would start again from the beginning and save BCH coming from the audience.
I would say that this is charged as a experience though I'm new here at read.cash I was able to gather that kind of amount by the help of others.
Chapter 2: Selfish
This is the continuation of my fictional story.
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Zian was sitting on a bench and was reciting a poem by herself.
"World In A Hut"
She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while.
The hut had magic world
That kept her getting called
And the butterflies flying around
Cotton clouds were floating, found.
She rides on one of them
And leaves for now and then.
Where summer meets winter,
Her pile of dreams gets higher.
When it's time for coming out
The pitch road keeps calling out.
She trips and gets some cut
And cries for leaving the hut.
The lifeless road seems so long
She keeps cursing herself for every wrong,
The hut keeps calling back,
She just keeps looking back!
She was a little girl
Her world was very small
A hut was nearby
For her to rest a while...
And then she sighed!
"Wow! That was really great!" Jongdae was standing behind the tree where the bench was.
"Oh, hi! Ah, it's nothing! I just love to read, so just like casually I read it!"
Zian felt a little shy.
"No, you were amazing! The intonation in your voice was very synced to the poem. By the way, who wrote it?"
"Umm..some anonymous. And thanks for your kind words." she smiled and closed the book she was holding.
"It was beautiful! "
"It's my favourite!”, she smiled, "And you sing really well!", Zian threw her compliment towards Jongdae.
"Ah! Come on! It's nothing.", Jongdae smiled, scratching his neck being shy, "but when did you hear me out?"
"Umm..I guess the day before you joined the class!"
"Oh I see! I just love singing, so whenever I get a little time, I start playing with my guitar."
"Wow! That's great. You should sing more! I think I should call you Mr.singer!", Zian giggled.
Jongdae was looking at her being amazed without her acknowledgement.
"So, how long have you been practicing this, I mean reading books?"
"Ah, you mean brail?" Zian held the book securely,that was placed on her knees.
"I'm.. I'm really sorry if I've offended you.", Jongdae started feeling guilty.
"Oh no! Not at all. Actually I started it from the end of last year."she smiled awkwardly.
"May I know what happened? ", Jongdae tried to sound softer.
" Ahh.. I met an accident last year and lost my sight. But don't talk about it in front of Joana, please!", Zian requested to him.
"Ok, I won't! " though he found himself clueless, "you girls are best friends, right? You could even tell what face she had made the other day!", Jongdae smiled.
"Only best friend? She's my gurdian angel! You don't know.." Joana interrupted between them while coming back with a water bottle but Zian made her stop and changed the topic,
"Joan! I'm hungry! Let's go to the canteen."
"I told you to go with me at first place. You don't listen to me Zian! Let's go!"
Zian searched for her cane and Jongdae handed it over to her.
"Didn't I tell you that I hate this thing in your hand Zian? Hold my hand!”, so Zian interlocked her fingers with her while Joana continued again, "Let's go to canteen, Jongdae! It's been one month of yours being here but seems you don't have much friends to hang around."
Jongdae laughed and joined with them.
A few months passed away.
Literature club was planning to stage a play. So students were welcomed to participate. They needed a backstage vocal to sing for background music and a backstage vocal for story telling.
Joana got very excited and she pushed both of Jongdae and Zian to give it a go!
Jongdae wanted to give it a thought whereas Zian wasn’t interested. So Joana started whining.
"Why Zian, I mean why? Your voice is so perfect for this and people like your voice. So why don't you try for once? And there will be rehearsals, so you don’t need to worry. Please! "
"If I said No, so it's a No Joan! Please!", Zian seemed so lost.
Jongdae kept silence as both of the girls were in an arguement!
"This was just a piece of cake to you Zian, I know it better. But why are you sliding off now?", Joana kept trying her best to persuade her.
" Because, I'm not that confident anymore, Joan! Please try to understand! ",Zian's voice cracked!
Joana bit her lips and then spoke, " It's all my fault, Zian! I'm really sorry. No, even sorry is not enough when I, myself ruined your life!", Joana was trying hard to hold her tears before leaving the room.
"Joan, please!", Zian called out for her, but Joana left already.
Jongdae became so blank that he couldn’t manage what to say.
He made Zian seated, caressed on her hand and left to find out Joana.
Zian kept cursing herself, at the corner of their class room, wiping off her tears.
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To be continued.
Chapter 1 : Selfish
Hi guys this is my first time to write Fiction story
Please bare with me guys and have fun.
This story is devided into 4 chapters
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-Chapter 1-
It was a peacful day in Yoong Doo University, and there are circle of friends talking about the new trasnfered students.
"Joana, who's singing by the way?"
"I guess a new student, just transferred his credit recently in our department ! He was coming out from the principal's room today with Namsoon. He told me by the way."
"You get all the news right away Joan!", she chuckled. " His voice is very soothing, like a gentle breeze."
"Hmm...Zian, let's go. It’s time for lunch."
They headed towards canteen.
The next morning Zian and Joana were sitting on the first row. Though Seoul university is one of the hyped one but few students are in literature department.
"Excuse me! May I sit over here?", the guy put a smile and was standing next to Zian.
" Umm, yeah, sure!", Zian moved herself a little towards Joana and let him sit.
"Thanks!", he took the seat and introduced himself, " By the way, hi! I'm Kim Jongdae. Just transferred here yesterday."
Zian nodded a little towards his direction, "Hi! I'm Jung Zian. Nice to meet you! "
"And I'm Chae Joana. Her friend!" Joana smiled at him.
"Nice to meet you both." Jongdae smiled towards them.
"So, you're here on your last year, for any good reason?", Joana asked him.
"Actually my dad had to shift here for his job purpose, and I'm a homesick person,so I shifted here along with my parents."
"So, where are you from?" Joana kept asking him.
"From Busan. And are you both from here?"
"Yeah, we're from here!"
"Joan, give him a break! I'm sorry. She's just like this! Don't mind her. Hope you’ll have a great time here." Zian spoke finally.
"No it's fine. After all we're classmates." Jongdae assured her.
"Joan! Don't pout now!", Zian caressed on her back as Joana was literally pouting.
And Jongdae became surprised!
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To be continued.
https://tinyurl.com/LEADIMAGE
How's my Online class going on ?
we all know that this pandemic changes eveything. The way we live, the way interact with people and also how our lives going. In this time of pandemic there are lot of changes and one of the changes is how our schoo works. From the face to face to Online learning. We have two type of learning, the synchronous and Asynchronous.
The **Asynchronous** is more on modular, the teachers give the students module to answer and it will pass on time, while the **Synchronous** classes there are online interaction. The teachers with teach their students live online. Now, we are taking mixed classes that sometimes we take online teaching and sometimes our teacher gives only recorded videos and modules to be answered.
As a student who took online, at first I thought that it will be easy because you will not go to school, and you will not spent more hours on travel and to prepare. But the things didn't came out of what I expected. From the thought that it will be easy for me to the thought that thinking if I can finish my study.
Now I took a cours of **Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering.** And as a Mechanical Engineer, we have 21 units and those unit is more of mathematic subject from Physics, Differential Calculus, Statics and Thermodynamics. All of this subjects are difficult for me to understand.
**These are the things that I consider why I have hard times to catch up sometimes.**
**ENVIRONMENT**
I am very distracted to eveything especially in my environments. Since I do not have my own in our house is use to take online class in dining area and sometimes to the kitchen. It is hard for to focus because of the sorroundings. From the noise that came from my mother who do the household. From the neighbors who shouting, and to the vehicles passing, I am very distracted. Also there are a lot of things inside our house and my attention span is so broad that I end up focusing on the things that caught my attention.
INTERNET
At first we are using Data Connection. We used to buy load for about 100 a week and we are 2 in the house who took online class. And also my mother buy load for her to contact our families. By that we spent about 1200 a week and the signal is not that stable and sometimes when im in the meeting and runs out of load, the anxiety goes up because im worries that I will miss some lectures. So, our familiy decided to have A WIFI for us to connect all and have a better connection.
ONLINE APPLICATION
Before we have classes, I used to play in mobile phones, and I staying all through the time facing with my cellphone. The struggle is Im using my cellphone for my online class and we all know that one of the distraction to us is our cellphone. We used to go on social media. If there's one notification I used to open it and it ended up staying to that social media especially facebook and instagram. I'm having hard time to focus on my lectures.
CLASSMATES THAT CAN TEACH US
We all know that interaction is one way for us to learn. It is hard for me not having a classmate that i can ask on. The feeling of loneliness when you don't know the answer and you don't have a classmate to ask for. They will hard time if they teach you online especially mathematic subject that requires more explanation because of its complication
Gadgets like Laptop
i'm having a hard to do some of my activities, We have this subject like autocad and we need a good laptop performance or personal computer for us to catch up and to make activities. Though i have my own laptop, the performance of it is not enough to save bigger files.
Things that I do to make it easier.
Setting Goal
The first thing you need to do is to set your goal. If you have goal, it is easier for you to achieve if you strive hard for it. You need to focus on your goal, it needed to have open minded and being optimistic. Though there are time that you're feeling down but when you think of your goal you will have little hope to continue and by that you will start working. The hardest to do is the first step, it is hard to think what you do first but if you started it right away, the thoughts will follow.
Having Motivation
If you have motivation, it is easier for you to do task. The inspiration will make us alive and make us more creative. The first thing we need to use as a motivation is for our future. We need to think our future, if we suffer now that is normal it is worse if we enjoy now but in the future will get suffer. We should never let ourselves regret in the future that we didn't strive hard when we have the time to work for ourselves.
Unwind
If I have time, i try to unwind. I usually ride my bike go to other place if I feel that I'm getting pressure. Unwinding helps us to think. It clears our mind so that we can think peacefully. If we are stressed the capability of us to think creatively become lessen. If we don't unwind, there are a lot of thoughts inside our head and it will end up into confusion, doubt and frustration. we need to make ourself relax and we don't need to rush things. It will happen at the right time.
***“Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later.” – Dana Stewart Scott***
***I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy- I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” – Art Williams***
Have you ever told your parents how grateful you are for having them in your life?
**“PARENTS”** Its such a beautiful and Caring word. Every Person is lucky to have Loving and Caring Parents. Parents are very important in our life. The most important, Secure and solid pillar of our life. They teach and influence us to do right things, to go right path and many more things. In our life, Our parents seems to be like a god for us. They Fulfill our all needs and willing. They are with us and support us in any phrase of life. They sacrifices so many things for us , why they do this ? Because they love us so much.
This is the story of my friend Lanie who are studying in the city. She decided to go home after vacition to see her parents and her siblings. Despite the status of their life, Lanie is striving for her school in return for her parent's sacrifice. They are the who will help us in our dark time, the shoulders we can lean on, the person who we can share our problems.
Our parent are the one who will never leave us even up to the end of the world. You can see their sacrifices and striving for us to have better life. Sometimes if we are broke, even the food they will take, they give to us for us not to become hungry. Our parents are the one who mold us of what we are going to be.
Richness cannot be only determined by money but also by the love and support from a family. It was a rainy midyear vacation when Lanie, finally on her way home, with joyful tears, hurriedly stepped off from a jeep she's riding on.
Lanie was away from her family for 10 months long because she studied in a city which was quite far from her province. And she couldn't afford to go home even monthly because of the expensive transportation fee. So, she just waited until the second semester ended. Now, she couldn't wait any longer to see them, she missed them so much! Carrying her heavy bag on her right hand and less than 10 pcs of mangoes on her left hand, she smiled widely while walking along the muddy road towards their nipa hut. She never minded being soaked in the rain as long as she was now few meters away to home.
Stepping on their yard with so much excitement made her heart beat fast. She then called her parents and siblings. "Ma, pa? Where are you? I'm already home," Lanie shouted. "Sisters, brother? Ate is here. Come on, I've got some presents for you," she added. But she got no respond and found no one in the hut. The place was covered by a deafening silence.
She went inside the hut while her tears started on rolling down her face again but this time it wasn't a joyful one. It was a painful feeling, knowing that no one was there to welcome her home. But after a few minutes, she heard some voices that seemed to be so familiar to her. It was her siblings' voices, she looked out into the window and saw them in a race coming to the hut. Following them were her parents bringing some root crops and vegetables on their heads. They were from their farm.
She felt pity for them. They were now old but still they sacrificed and worked hard just to send her to school and so as her brother and sisters. She went down from the hut and with teary eyes she ran towards them. Her siblings were shocked with excitement seeing her home. She gave them all -her sisters and brother- a hug. And finally she reached her embrace to her parents and told them how much she missed them and how much she was proud to have a parents like them.
They strived so hard in life just to give them a proper education that they need and can use as weapon in surviving in the future. Their parents always reminded them, even before that they were still kids, that education is the only treasure they could give and leave to them. But in Lanie's heart, her treasure is none other than her beloved parents and siblings.
***“ Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” -Nelson Mandela***
Lanie is very proud of her parents because of the sacrifices and striving hard for her to go to school even though her parents is old. She told to her parents that when she is done schooling she will have work for them. By that her parents will not work for her, and will have rest. When Lanie is in school and have some difficulties the only thing that Lanie gave strength and inspiration is her parents and her siblings . She thinks of her parents sacrifices, by that it gives her the power to continue and have some life for her parents.
***"Parents aren’t the people you come from. They’re the people you want to be, when you grow up."***
Moral lesson; Always appreciate your parents effort, love and sacrifices. Tell them now how proud you are of having them in your life. Do not waste the time, the chance and the opportunity to tell them your appreciation. And lastly, love them fully.
**Authors Note:**
Enjoy the times that we are with our parents, time is running. We don't know what will happen next. We need to be grateful to our parents and have gratitude towards them . We need to think their sacrifices for to strive more. The best feeling in the world to see our parents happy. For me, seeing my parents happy makes me happy also, especially my mother becauase she's the one I'm talking with. While we're young we need to show love and tell them how much we love them then hug them. By that, they can also see that we appreciate them.
Image Sources:
https://www.bhg.com/news/hugging-someone-actually-makes-you-happier-and-healthier-study-says/
https://www.shutterstock.com/search/old+parents
https://www.curatedquotes.com/family-quotes/parents/
https://www.outboundengine.com/blog/appreciation-for-your-customers-actionable-ideas/https://www.desantisbreindel.com/insights/brand-storytelling/
Why are YOU doubting yourself ?
Our biggest enemy is not the other people, not the one who tries to bring us down nor the one who tend to make our lives messy.
Do you know what is our biggest enemy ? OURSELF
here's some reason why we are doubting ourselves.
Resisting changes
People who usually become down is the one who do not embrace change. Everyday is there changes happening, you are not the person of yesterday. you learn things from the past and those things can make you better. Resisting change in certain aspects of life can lead to stagnation. Change can be beneficial and should be pursued to make life more meaningful.
As they say " Go out of you comfort zone. " meaning you need not stay on your comfort. You will not grow if you keep on doing things that you used to do. The best teacher is our experience and by that our experience changes our mind, it changes our capability to think critically and more creative.
Changes occur everytime and we need to adapt changes for us to grow.
Depending yourself on the others
knowing that someone beside is a positive thing. It can give more secure of things that they will guide you when the problem arise But the idea of depending youself on someone is a dangerous thing. sometimes we become more independent to that person thinking that they will never leave us but we need to remember the saying
***" Even your shadow leaves you in the dark "***
If someone leaves it will end up hurting ourself, we tend to find that comfort to someone gave us. Worst case it will end up losing ourselves and trying to find it back.
Depending on someone is not that bad because we need someone to lift us up. But expecting too much to that person is bad. They grow overly reliant to the point of forgetting how to solve difficulties on their own. Too much reliance is unhealthy since it might cause you to forget how to look after yourself.
As a result, people who become overly reliant on others may regard life to be boring as a result of a lack of challenge. They have delegated tasks to others rather than completing them on their own.
Projecting Negativity
Negativity is everywhere, sometime our mind creates a scenario and thinking of the possibility of what to happen next. It's not bad to think advance but the thing is when you create a negative scenario in your mind and ended up questioning ourself if we can do it. Too much negativity can begin to dislike our actions and starts doubting ourselves.
"When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It's all a matter of perspective." -Harvey Mackay
Negativity is only in our mind and turning it positives look will make us more productive. It helps us to do more things if we will believe in ourselves. Nothing can defeat a striving man.
Putting yourself down
It is one of the major factor why we don't succeed in life because we are puting ourself inside the box. There are many people nowadays tend to put theirselves down thinking that they are not enough, and we can't blame them maybe because of their past experiences that makes them to think that way.
The kind of person who will tell them self that they can’t do something and it is impossible might be their own enemy. This person can start to feel down about them self because they don’t want to try before telling themselves that they have already not succeeded.
We need to remember that we live here in purpose, the only way to see that purpose is to seek GOD and asking for guidance to whatever we do. In that He will remind us of what the right things to do. Also by exploring we can discover to ourself that we can do more.
We are not validating the others feeling by giving advice of what to, but we are giving advice for them to think and to motivate them because many says that we need to try put ourself in other's shoes. The thing is we are giving advice for them, and the best thing to do first is to pray for them.
Trusting others more than ourselves
another problem is we trust others more than ourself. The capability to think and decide to ourself are become void. Others can give advice and can guide us but the final decision is into us.
Following on what the others say can lower ourself esteem. We can end up questioning ourself what we are capable of because we trust other more that ours.
Worrying too much
Worrying too much is bad for ourselves. It can end up to anxiety, thinking that the things we use to imagine will not happen. Also the ability to think positive become lessen. Constant worrying makes life unhappy for themselves and others around them. If we worry about situations or events to much it can lead to depression and be reinforcing. Anxiety can cause unhappiness and be in this state can make you question life decisions.
But we need to remember that GOD will not put us to that situation if we know that we can't do it.
in Isaiah 40:31 it says "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." meaning if we rely on ourself to the LORD those anxiety will not exist long. He will make us more peaceful and not to worry too much.
Reminder to all us,
**use the past as a lesson, not a weapon**
You have the option to use the past as a destructive weapon or a resourceful teacher. Focusing on hurts and wounds will only overwhelm you with sorrow and lead you down the wrong path. Allow every lesson to become an investment for the future. Let it be your servant, not your master.
**Become your own Best Friend**
Recognizing the enemy within us and befriending ourselves is simply a matter of when we decide to do it. If you are spending time focusing on misery, letting others determine your life course, and playing the victim, I want to remind you –
You are here to stand out. You are here to leave your own footprints. Walk your own path and let go of being a prisoner of the past. Invest time in becoming your own very best friend and you will be the greatest ally in times of need. This is your best self.
It's not about the destination, it's all about the Journey
It's a story about my 22 hour travel using my bike.
here's the story.
On friday morning me and my groupmates in our bike association decided to have a ride on saturday morning. Those time are rainy season, we woke up early and there's a little raindrops so we decided to observe first if it is going to fall heavily, and luckily the rain stops, so we decided to continue the ride.
We are 10 in the group, and we have a 4 newbie bikers so that our pacing is not that fast. On our first stop over, we decided to go to 7/11 to have some breakfast. on our way to our destination, our one member got punctured and we decided to replace his interior to make our ride faster. And finally, we got to our first destination but unfortunately, the river that we are going to take a bath was closed so we decided to find another place to stay in.
Fast forward, it's already 12 in the morning and we decided to take a lunch then while we are talking with the vendor, we ask if there is another place to take a swim then they said that 5 kms. from where we are, there's a secret falls and we got smile and our face and a little hope that our travel will not be void. It's 12:30 PM and we decided to carry on so that we can reach our destination quicker.
While we're on our way, we asking each other if where's the place that the vendor told us because on our data we reached about 5 kms. and we decided to ask question to villagers and they said that the next place that there's river is 10 kms. away from where we are, and everyone of us got that face like "huh?" we got fooled by the vendors, maybe they said that 5 kms away from there so that we can continue to pedal and have hopes in our heart to continue.
Here's the ark of place we're going to, maybe only 5 kms. from here we can reach our destination. It's was quite difficult because our way is not flat, there's climb and descent, and also we are waiting to those at the back who can't keep up on our pace.
Here as you can see, we are carrying our bikes because the road is too stiff and we need to conserve our energy so that we can reach on our destination.
Fast forward, we are near to our destination and suddenly a bad incident happened. it was descent, and I heard someone calling my name shouting and I turned back and saw our one member is out of control, that one wearing red shirt. He lost his brakes and got crashed and we hurily came to him and checked if he's okay, unfortunately he was hurt and his bike got punctured front and back of his tire.
We decided to take a bath first and enjoy so that we will not go home in tears.
And here it is we enjoyed a lot, we took a bath in the river and after that we went to a pool.
We decided to go home because it's already 5 in the afternoon and then we pull up.
here's the picture while we fixing the tire of his bike. We took 1 hour to fix his bike so that it's already 6 in the evening when we left the area and it was totally dark and the only light we have is 5.
So we decided to move slowly so that no one will left.
it's already 11 in the evening and we are keep on pedaling, we are all hungry and we decided to have dinner and luckily we found one store that is open, and we took our dinner and we asked the vendors if we can stay for a while to have some rest and they agreed.
It's already 12:30 in the morning and decided to continue, you can see the drowsiness on everyone's eyes but they keep on pedaling to go home quicker. My eyes are half sleep, but i keep on pedaling so that i can go home.
here's our route, it's 160kms we do loop because its dangerous when we go back to where came from because of big trucks and the road has no street lights
We arrived at 5 am on friday then we came home at 3 am of sunday.
Block Qoutes
" The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscape, but in having new eyes" -Marcel Proust
Final Note
Sometimes we're not enjoying the destination but the places we see when we travel. The experiences are the best memory to cherish.
@tommyshelby
