We Need To Stop.
I've never been a fan of parents forcing children to get married. Some parents feel they got married at a certain age and then they heap the pressure on the child to follow the same line. It's totally unfair and I don't subscribe to that school of thought. We are in a different era and they were from a different era. What worked for them isn't a guarantee for success in this age and time that we are. Allow your children to come to terms with when they feel they are ready.
I've never had that pressure from my parents even when they were alive. They were never the type to tell you to get married because they want to see your children. I know most parents add sentimental values to that based on culture but rarely based on understanding. We need to stop that archaic way of thinking so we can stop piling unnecessary pressure on those who are not ready.
When you are not ready to handle certain things you are bound to mess things up. Just like failing a particular class, until the lesson is learnt you would have to keep repeating that same class. It's the same thing with life...you would always feel hard done by when you are not learning what you are supposed to learn. Life won't stop teaching but you have to make sure you never stop learning too because that's the only way to forge ahead.
A lot of people get pressured into marriage and it shouldn't be. They won't be able to handle the heat and this is the reason why we have so many divorces out there in the world. These same parents that forced people into getting married to see their offspring would not be the ones to feel the heat and the pressure. We need to stop piling up the heat on people when life is doing a great job on that already.
We need to stop forcing people to embrace a way of life they have grown out of just because we are still living in it. Life deals with us differently and we learn differently too. We need to learn how to respect the opinions and decisions of others even when we disagree with them. Our parents need to understand better never to force their ways on the children when the children should be responsible for how they feel or what they want to do. They can guide those children but nothing should be enforced.
I feel in this part of the world we are training children to get married more than we are training them for life. These parents of ours already know how life is and yet they skip those important parts and then allow us to learn about life the hard way. I don't think they should be how they should be.
We need to stop training our female children for marriage alone. We teach them how to be a good wife and endure marriage in the worst case possible yet we don't train them or teach them they can be so much more. We make them feel their role is majorly about being a wife when their major role in life should primarily be about making an impact regardless of being a female gender.
We have also trained our male figures to feel the need to dominate and subject the females to be second fiddle. This is why we are raising monsters for angels because we teach the male figures it's okay to act in certain ways because they are male. This is why most of them feel threatened when they meet an outspoken lady. They confuse the boldness of a lady for being rude. They feel they are the best gift of God to womanhood so they feel their actions cannot be checked.
We breed a lot of problems this way when we tell our children that marriage is the ultimate. A lot of people are not married and they are making waves. I am not saying if you can do everything within your means to get married that you shouldn't, I am simply saying our parents need to understand that everyone needs to come to terms with what they want for their lives and who they want for their lives without feeling unnecessarily pressured for their own selfish reasons.
What worked then won't always work now. What is not working now might have worked then. We need to understand the peculiarity of each season and each human we are dealing with because not everyone can handle the pressure of life. Most people have killed themselves just because they are trying to keep up with the pressure others placed on them. We need to understand that because we were able to handle some pressure it doesn't mean others can. We need to stop judging others based on how we handled ours. We are different and we should stop assuming others have the same capacity as us.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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I believe parents who do this are parents who compete with other parents. Upon seeing that their counterparts have grandchildren already, they begin to pressure for marriage and grandchildren too. One needs to be ready in everyway before marriage. Long time bro how are you doing?